"This creature is amazing!"
The Doctor stroked the purring tribble in his lap
"This is quite possibly the best adaptation to a sentient universe I've ever seen! It's diverted all its energy into reproduction and being so cute that no sentient creature in their right mind would ever try to kill it. Put one on a planet and it'll eventually devour it whole. I can't imagine how you could have just one. Dr. McCoy, do you have another? I'd like one for my ship."
The time lord rested in the medical bay of the USS Enterprise. As far as Captain Kirk was concerned, Science Chief Smith and Admiral Oswald were their esteemed guests and to be treated as such, or so it said on their documents.
Mr. Spock did not like the strange fractals on their rather antiquated papers (paper? In space? Illogical. Holograms are much more effective, or at the very least use a tablet). He logically deduced that they were not who they were and should be placed under security. He was misguided in his logic however, by not factoring in the attractiveness of the Admiral and his Captain's authority on the matter.
Said Captain soon entered the medical bay, nursing a rather noticeable slap mark on his left cheek. Clara soon followed suit, smoothing out her hair, giving the time lord a look between "I can't believe you made me do that" and "you are a horrible person". The time lord returned a look of "I'm sure you had fun" combined with a very small hint of "but I'm sorry and I'm glad you're back".
"Admiral. Your report?"
"We're in the 24th century. This is the USS Enterprise, flagship of Starfleet, a peacekeeping and exploration organization. Most of the crew are from Earth and we are returning there as we speak. Pointy there's half Vulcan, but the rest are human. And Mr. Captain there needs to keep his hands to himself."
"I think that's good enough thank you! Now then, onto business. Besides my ship, did you happen to pick up any salvage in the time since I landed on your ship? Sorry about the floors by the way, but those scorch marks should buff right out. The smell is another issue…but yes, salvage?"
The Captain's first officer replied as the Captain had a problem using his mouth at the moment. Bones would have tended to it if he wasn't distracted by the fact there's a man with two hearts in the room.
"There was a canister of sorts floating along. We are currently in the process of scanning it for life in our salvage bay."
The time lord suddenly got a serious look on his face. The type of face that gave companions nightmares.
"Does it look like a pepper shaker?"
The Captain finally found his voice.
"Yes, as a matter of fact. Is it also yours?"
"Destroy it. Blow it into bits NOW. And get that out of my face."
The Doctor waved away the other doctor's attempts to scan his retinas as the Captain continued to speak.
"That's a rather quick decision isn't it? Since it's now property of the USS Enterprise, we get the final say."
The first officer continued from where the captain left off:
"The technology even on the surface of the container is decades ahead of anything we've ever seen. It would be in our best interests to see what else we can learn from it, as well as from your blue ship now lying in our halls."
"I'm trying to not get you all killed. Now if you intend on making it back to Earth you had better listen to what I say."
Before the Captain could speak, the other doctor raised his voice
"You know, he has a point. I had a bad feeling about that thing from the start."
Clara chimed in
"I've survived this long by doing what the Doctor…er…my Science Chief says. It would be a good idea for you lot to get a clue and follow suit."
The time lord turned to the half-vulcan and spoke to him directly.
"Isn't it your prime directive not to influence civilizations less technologically advanced than yourselves? Even if I am not from Starfleet, which I totally am by the way, would it not be hypocritical to pursue something that you deny other civilizations? Wouldn't that be illogical keeping in mind Starfleet's standards of universal equality?"
The first officer thought for a moment and turned to his captain.
"Sir, logically, while the canister does not currently appear to be a threat, we can't deny the fact that this man knows more than we do about the technology. It would be in our best interests to let him examine it. That is my assessment."
Kirk decided to let his pride fall second to the advice of his friends.
"Alright, Smith, come with us. You, Ms. Oswald, can stay here. Bones keep an eye on her and Skaropuff for me. Careful, she bites."
The Captain, the Doctor and Spock left the room and walked down the halls, the Doctor trailing behind as they made their way down to the salvage room.
Meanwhile, an uncomfortable silence fell over the medical bay.
Clara broke the silence.
"Seriously though doctor, your Captain's a pig. I could never date outside my species. So this cute little guy is the infamous Skaropuff then?"
EXTERMINATE!
The laser pulse shot forward with a horrifying screech, killing all five red shirts examining it in one blow.
The Dalek is awake.