The next morning, I slowly cracked my eyes open as sunlight flooded into the room. As I sat up, I was confused to find myself on the living room floor until the events of last night hit me. Fresh tears silently poured down my face. I stood up and stretched, wincing at the sharp pains in my muscles.

I made my way upstairs to the bathroom. I turned the shower onto the hottest setting and jumped in. Scrubbing my body, hot angry tears fell from my eyes. I knew Wren liked me, but I never thought he would take it that far. I could take his stares and attempts at flirting if that meant last night never happened.

Stepping out of the shower, I retreated to my room. All I could think about was that no one could find out. If my parents knew they would see it as a flaw in their perfect family. And I didn't know what my friends would think of me. As I lay down on my bed, I felt a pull in my eyes like I needed to cry, but I had no tears left. I shut my eyes but all I could see was Wren on top of me. All I could hear were my screams and pleads for him to stop.

I sat up as my heart pounded against my ribcage. I covered my ears with my hands and screamed, fresh tears coming to my eyes as I wished I could be any one other than me. I didn't want this life. It was too hard trying to be perfect all the time, perfect grades, always looking my best, joining every sports team and club under the sun. The only thing I wanted was gone, thinking I didn't love him or want him. Thinking I was in love with the monster who ruined the last remaining shreds of my pathetic life.

I decide then and there that I wasn't going to let Wren destroy my life. Things like this happened all the time and people got through them. I was strong, and something like this wasn't going to stand with the family in which I unfortunately lived. Deciding it was time to busy myself, I pulled out some homework that wasn't due for a while.

I didn't get much sleep that weekend but the few short hours I did get were haunted. Haunted by Wren and the what ifs. What if I was never friends with Ali, would this still have happened? What if there was no A, would Toby be here with me right now?

My parents got home on Sunday night around 6 o'clock. Hardly saying a hello, they retreated to their bedroom. They don't even care enough to ask how my weekend was, and had failed to notice that maybe something was off. But what more was I to them then the screw up daughter who could never do anything right?

It had been two weeks since Wren attacked me. I still hadn't told anyone, not even Hanna, Emily, or Aria. Holding this terrible secret inside was killing me; I felt like I was going to crack in the middle of the hallway and just break down. But if I wanted anything in my life to stay normal, I had to stay silent. But how ironic was that? I wanted silence, but the world around me was rushing by, buzzing in my ears. I was surprised to see how few people could detect any sort of blip on my radar.

"Hey Spence," Aria said in her chirpy voice as she sat down next to me in the courtyard outside of school. It was early Tuesday morning, exactly eleven days since my terrible secret had taken place, and right now I envied Aria. She had the perfect life, loving parents who didn't expect her to live up to unrealistic standards, a kind brother who didn't compete with her to be the best at everything, and most of all she had the love of her life, while the love of mine was now where to be found in my hour of need.

Lifting my eyes to her gaze I weakly managed a reply, "Hi, how are you?"

"I'm great! Ezra's taking me to this new café in Philly tonight, it's going to be amazing!" she continued on about the details and how perfect Ezra was to her for a good five minutes before she noticed my blank stares across the courtyard.

"Spence, you okay?" Aria asked, her brow furrowed in concern.

"What? Oh, yeah I'm fine. Late night studying," I quickly lied. "Hey, I have to go to the bathroom, see you in class," I said as I gathered my bag and hurried inside.

Once in the bathroom, I stood in front of the mirror examining my face. I have to be more careful; I don't need people asking me questions and bringing back memories I was trying to bury. I exited the girl's room to head to my first class hoping I would be able to make it through the day.

When I got home that day, I went to my room and started my homework. My mind started to wander as I finished the last of my math problems. My eyes swept past the calendar on my wall when something occurred to me. I walked over the calendar to make sure I was correct. After I counted up all the days, my heart started to pound, my period was late. My period is never late. Tears crept down my face as I thought about what this could mean, I was a virgin until Wren took that and the last pieces of my hollowed out shell with him.

I thought about what I could do. I had to take a test, but I couldn't buy it myself. What if I saw someone who knew me? I could only think of one thing to do, so I pulled out my phone and dialed that familiar number.

"Hey Spence. What's up?" I heard her kind voice say on the other end of the line, unaware of what I was about to ask.

"Hi, Em. I need a huge favor. Do you think you could come over?" I tried to keep my voice steady, but Emily could always tell when something was wrong.

"Of course, I'm on my way," She replied and hung up.

Only minutes later, I heard the doorbell ring. I took my time getting to the front door, trying to prepare what I was going to tell Emily. I apparently took too long, because Emily let herself in.

"Spence? Spencer? You here?" Emily asked confused by my absence.

"Right here," I walked Emily up to my room and shut the door, not that it mattered because no one was home, once again.

"What did you need?"

"Do you remember when –A put Toby in the hospital?" I asked, cringing internally at the mention of Toby's name.

Emily looked confused, but nodded her head.

"Remember what I asked you to tell Toby?" I asked as I tried not to cry at the thought of what I asked Emily to do for me.

"Yes, I remember, but what does this have to do with…" Emily stopped mid-sentence seeing the broken expression on my face and the tortured soul through my brown, watery eyes.

"Well, I think Toby confronted Wr-Wren about it," I said, my voice breaking on Wren's name. "Then Wren came here later that night," Emily only looked at me expectantly so I continued.

"I had a moment of weakness, and I told him everything about…"

"Everything?" Emily interrupted. "Including A?"

"No, of course not. I just told him about how I was feeling, and since Toby asked Wren about us, Wren got the idea that we were together. When I tried to tell him we weren't, he-he…" I trailed off, already in tears.

"What Spence? What did Wren do?"

"He raped me. I know what you're thinking, you're probably disgusted with me," I said as I looked away, ashamed.

"Spencer, how could you think I'm disgusted with you? I am disgusted, but with Wren thinking he can do that to you. This is not your fault Spence," Emily said comfortingly as she put her arm around me. "You said no, and he will not get away with this, I promise."

"No, no one can know he did this, please Emily," I said, turning my red, puffy eyes to her brown ones.

"You can't expect me to keep this a secret?" Emily asked bewildered.

"You have to. What would my parents think?" I asked her with pleading eyes.

"I don't know if I can," She told me with uncertainty.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have asked you to come. I knew I shouldn't have told anyone," I replied as I began to stand up.

"No, Spencer. I don't agree with not telling anyone but I won't."

"Thank you," I said, sighing a breath of relief.

"Although this is a big secret, it's not a favor. Isn't that why you asked me to come here?"

My breath caught in my throat as I tensed up again. My eyes briefly swept past my calendar as I thought about the reason I asked Emily to come over. "Um, I-I'm late…'

"What? What do you mean? Your late for a meeting and you need me to drive you?"

"No, Emily, I'm late," I said more slowly.

"Wha – oh. No, no you can't be,"

"I need you to buy me a test. I can't, Emily. What if someone who knows my parents sees me?"

"Of course, anything Spence."

"Thank you so much Em," I leaned in and gave her a squeeze before she left. All I could hope was that she would be back soon.

I am so sorry. It has been way too long and hasn't been fair to you guys. I'm really sorry, but I hope to update later tonight or tomorrow. Please review, I can't believe how many reviews I got for the first chapter, I was expecting like 2, so thank you so so so much!