Astrid had long since accepted that Dark Days would simply be a part of her relationship with Hiccup. Their frequency varied, but every now and then everything was just a little too much for him. She sometimes wondered if he needed other outlets, if these were signs that he couldn't express his emotions enough when they weren't alone. But there was little she could do about that, especially when they weren't married yet and he wasn't chief. People expected a strong leader.

So it was her secret job to make sure they never knew about Hiccup's dark days, that they could pretend he was always as cheerful and joking and energetic as he appeared in public.

It wasn't always easy. Hiccup's mood swings were unpredictable at best, and came with little warning. So often she scrambled to find a private place when she saw the signs.

Like today. They had been teaching some children about taking care of their dragons, when one of the nastier boys started questioning Hiccup's methods. "How can he know if the dragons are happy, he can't see!"

In retrospect it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Hiccup had quite a bad day already. Nightmares, Stoick being difficult about chiefing lessons, Toothless being moody about his morning flight being delayed. The dragon had avoided Hiccup for a while now, instead running into the woods with Stormfly.

Hiccup merely smiled at the arrogant boy and told him there were other ways he could tell the dragons' mood. Sounds, movement, even smell in certain cases. But she could tell the remarks weighed on him, especially when the boy remained unconvinced and rebellious for the rest of the lesson, constantly muttering under his breath about Hiccup's blindness and 'uselessness'.

When Astrid noticed Hiccup's hands were shaking slightly, and saw his back hunch, she knew what was coming. So she cut the lesson short at lunchtime and took Hiccup's hands to drag him to the storerooms in the back of the arena. One of the girls oohed at their interlocked hands, and some of the boys started joking about them going off to snog.

Astrid rolled her eyes, but didn't argue with them. It was easier to pretend they were making out, that it was just dumb hormonal young love driving them to find privacy.

The thought almost made her chuckle despite her worry for Hiccup. She wished it was that easy. It wasn't like they didn't sneak off all the time to make out, but it never felt enough. This was a different kind of physical closeness, she thought when Hiccup pulled her tight to him in the darkness at the back of a storeroom. Astrid let him, whispering words of love into his ear and rubbing his back gently.

"Don't go," he mumbled, and she shook her head.

"I'll never let you go. I promise," she replied, pulling them along a bit so they could sit on a nearby crate. Hiccup buried his face in her neck, shoulders shaking with his sobs. Astrid tried not to sigh audibly. It was so hard sometimes to see Hiccup like this. If only there was some way she could help. Some kind of medicine or treatment that would fix his dark mind. Maybe somewhere across the sea there existed something like that, but if it did, word of it never reached Berk.

It took a while, but eventually Hiccup calmed down. He didn't release her, however, content to sit next to her, his arms around her shoulders.

"Is this okay? If we sit like this for a while?" he softly asked with trembling voice. Astrid replied by pulling him a little closer to her. She had noticed that Hiccup was an incredibly tactile person, always trying to touch some part of her. Not even in an inappropriate way, though Astrid knew he had reactions to their closeness sometimes, but just to remind himself she was there, she was close, she wasn't gonna leave.

Sometimes she wondered if his desire to touch was because of his blindness, or just because that was the person he was. He also cuddled with Toothless, sleeping in the dragon's embrace or pushing himself against the warm belly while writing. The dragon seemed to like it too, warbling happily and licking Hiccup's hair.

Astrid didn't really think of herself as a cuddler, she didn't really actively crave Hiccup's arms around her all the time, but it was… nice. There were certainly worse places to be, and he was surprisingly soft and warm. It was strangely quiet and calm. Normally Hiccup was so active, always moving and talking and thinking and doing. But the moment they embraced each other he just slowed down and rested.

Yeah, that's the nicest thing about these cuddles, Astrid thought. Looking at his face, seeing all that stress and anxiety flow away for a bit. She could protect him for a while, make sure he didn't have to worry about anything. It made her feel strong, and it warmed her heart to know, to see with her own eyes that Hiccup thought she is strong too.

Hiccup's breath slowed and slowed, from the rapid breathing of his panic attack to a slumber. It took Astrid a minute to realize he had fallen asleep in her arms, his head on her shoulder. It was often hard to tell if he was asleep, since the blindfold covered his eyes, but she recognized that soft humming he always did when he slept. Sometimes he talked, mumbling nonsense words or ridiculous conversations. It always made her smile.

"You're the worst brother ever!" Ruffnut's shout broke their little bubble. Astrid jumped a bit, and Hiccup woke with a gasp. His head flew up, hitting her jaw, and they both groaned. Hiccup blushed when he realized their positions, but didn't quite let go of her.

"Sorry I fell asleep on you," he said awkwardly as they stood up together. His voice was barely audible over the twins' argument outside.

"It's okay. I think you needed that nap," Astrid teased, and they finally disentangled their arms. Hiccup looked ten times healthier than he had that morning, and Astrid was sure he could face another day.

And if he couldn't? Well, she'd just have to cuddle him until his strength returned.