It had been three months since Callie Torres returned to Seattle, and while she and Arizona were dating again, they weren't living together. They weren't sleeping together, well having sex, because they had slept with each other, but it had been fully clothed and usually Sofia was in the bed with them, but that didn't mean that they should be sleeping together - having sex - even though Callie was sure that both of them wanted it. My god did she want it. But they started with therapy again, the same therapist, and it was recommended that they not have sex yet, and they were sure to listen this time because last time they didn't listen and they got divorced.
They would listen.
Even though there wasn't a time frame, like last time. Callie really wanted to have sex with Arizona.
But even if they could, which they couldn't, they wouldn't be having it tonight because she was staying at Arizona's house because they were watching Meredith's children. Meredith had a conference to go to and Arizona had volunteered to watch them. Then Arizona had invited Callie and Sofia over for a play-date which had turned into Sofia sleeping over. Arizona had assured her that she could handle all four, she had done it before, but Ellis was up and around now and while Callie believed in Arizona, she had stayed because it was fun wrangling four children with Arizona. Her ex-ex-not wife, but girlfriend.
But as she sat on the couch now, the house blissfully silent, waiting for Arizona to return from putting Bailey back to bed after he asked for a glass of milk, she wished their, she means Arizona's house, wasn't full of children so that she could get naked with Arizona.
She missed naked Arizona.
"What are you thinking about so hard over there, hmm?" Callie felt the smile work its way through her as she looked over to where the blonde was leaning against the wall of the living room.
"How long have you been there?" She asked, patting the space beside her on the couch.
"Long enough to see you so deep in thought that you were doing that thing where you bite your lip and I had to control myself from jumping you." Arizona admitted with a smile.
In this moment she rued Derek Shepherd, god rest his soul, and Meredith Grey and their three beautiful children who were sleeping upstairs with her own child.
When she and Arizona finally, finally, had sex again, there should be no children in the house. She didn't believe that you should swear in front of children, and she was going to swear like a nineteenth century sailor, and she was going to make Arizona do the same.
"You're not allowed to say those kinds of things, Arizona." She said as the blonde sat beside her, and feeling the rush of heat and arousal as Arizona poured herself on the couch, practically on to her own body and Callie could barely contain herself.
"I know. Those stupid rules." Arizona husked into Callie's ear, and the brunette could feel the hot breath on her ear, the way Arizona's warm tongue snaked out to send shivers all throughout Callie and nip at her earlobe.
Damn children.
They sat in silence in each other's arms for long moments, both breathing deeply, hands held in respectable places and pointedly not making out like teenagers. They were both middle aged women, they should want to rip each other's clothes off in the back of a car. But they did.
My god, they did.
"It's your turn to ask a hard question Calliope." Arizona whispered after finally pulling away. Well, not so much as away, as like an inch. Which both was and wasn't enough space.
But Callie knew what question she wanted to ask, had wanted to ask once the therapist said that this was the way they would build their relationship on a more solid ground. The history between them had been painful and hurtful and bad, and everyone who knew them knew that they needed to be better at verbal communication.
The physical connection had never been a problem for them. When they were together the first time the learning curve hadn't really stopped them from having an instant connection. They had learned quickly the way the other's body responded and both had learned very quickly the way to use those responses to connect in the physical. It was the emotional that they needed to work on. So, instead of having sex, they were to try to connect on an emotional level. Though there was no time frame, Dr. Dawson, the therapist, had said that when they thought they were ready they still had to wait, and come see her.
"Hmm," she hummed as she moved away from Arizona and sat facing her on the coffee table.
"Do you have a question, Calliope?" Arizona asked, trailing her fingers down Callie's arm as the taller woman moved away.
"Yeah, but it's one of the scary ones. The last really scary one, actually." Callie watched as Arizona took a deep breath.
"Dr. Boswell?" She asked quietly, her impossibly blue eyes avoiding looking at Callie.
"Yeah." Callie clenched her hands between her thighs. They weren't supposed to touch when they had these conversations. Callie couldn't figure out why though. She always wanted to be touching Arizona, even if they were just sitting on the couch with Sofia watching a movie, having just a finger on Arizona was the most thrilling aspect of the moment.
Maybe that was why.
"I'll tell you Calliope, but I'm going to break the rules a little bit." Finally blue eyes met hers, and Callie didn't know if she was ready for this. When she learned about George and Izzie she kind of understood. She'd never understood about Arizona and that woman though. She wanted to, desperately. She'd forgiven Arizona for it, a long time ago in fact, but she still wanted to know. "If you're okay with that, I mean?"
"Break the rules how?" She asked, not knowing where Arizona was going with this.
Instead of a verbal answer, Callie watched as Arizona stood and removed her sweat pants and sat down, removing her prosthetic. She watched and felt as Arizona reached for her hands and placed them on her leg. Callie could remember the first time she had massaged the residual limb. Could remember what had happened that night.
"Is this okay?" Callie finally looked at Arizona. While the fear was written more plainly than anything else, Arizona was still heart stoppingly beautiful, one of the most beautiful women, one of the most beautiful people, that Callie had ever seen. The way her blonde hair caught the light in any room and drew eyes. The way her smile could illuminate a room. The way her eyes lit up with mirth and joy and sparkled in the exact same but completely different way her hair did in the same light.
In answer Callie began to lightly massage the stump, could feel the way that Arizona trembled, and Callie couldn't be sure if it was in response to the pain relief or something else.
"I was angry with you for a long time." Arizona took a deep breath that Callie could feel in her soul. "About the leg. And I lost myself in it. I'm not saying I did what I did because of the anger, because I didn't. Even though I was a huge bitch to you that year, even I'm not that petty. The anger wasn't just about the leg though, by that point I was angry about being your patient. I didn't know how to be your patient and your wife at the same time, and I didn't know how to be who I was after the crash.
Callie just listened and massaged.
"I'm different. You said I didn't have to give things up, and you were right. I didn't have to, but I still lost some things. I lost who I was. I was still Arizona Robbins, I was still your wife, I was still Sofia's mother, but I was different. I felt different. I was afraid of you, of your desire for me. I could see it on your face, in the way you touched me. I didn't feel it for a long time, that physical need for you, I didn't feel it for anyone at first. I hated who I was. I was afraid that you were trying to bring back the Arizona that died in the woods, and that because you remembered and wanted that Arizona, that the Arizona that I was wasn't what you wanted. You're going to say that was silly of me to think, and you're right. I know that now."
One of Arizona's hands covered Callie's on her leg, and Callie stilled that hand.
"After the car crash, for the first few months you didn't change in front of me. You didn't take your shirt off in front of me. I remember thinking 'doesn't she know she's beautiful to me? That she needn't worry?' I was afraid of you then, too. When you finally did take your shirt off in front of me, do you remember what I did?"
Callie swallowed, the emotion sitting in throat heavily. "You kissed all my scars."
"That was one of those things I didn't say to you, that you were still beautiful. That those scars didn't make you any less strong or different or less worthy, they meant the opposite. That you were strong, so incredibly strong, and worthy and beautiful. You are honestly one of the most beautiful human beings I have had the pleasure to lay my eyes on.
"But we didn't say those kinds of things to each other. I'm not blaming you, but you didn't say them to me either, and while you tried to show me with your actions, like I did to you, I didn't really know, you know?"
"I know."
"So I'm afraid that you don't find the new me attractive, that you're just remembering the old me and wanting that me, and I'm just starting to be okay with who I am and comfortable with who I am, and someone comes along and looks at me the way you were still looking at me. And because I was afraid that you weren't looking at new me, when someone else did it felt different and new and exciting even though she looked at me the exact same way that you were looking at me."
"I've always been afraid of you Callie. Afraid that you were new to dating girls, afraid of your relationship with Mark, afraid of how deeply you loved everyone and everything. Afraid of your bisexuality. But there were good things too, like how quickly I fell in love with you. How ready I was to stand up to your father for you, even though I've never done that before."
Callie had stopped moving and just stared at Arizona. She understood. She finally understood, and it makes sense. She wasn't hurt by it anymore, didn't feel the knife it had cause the first time, didn't want to throw up anymore.
"She looked at me and it felt good. I'm so sorry, Calliope. So incredibly sorry that I hurt you like that. It wasn't about you, which is trite and stupid and callous, but it wasn't about you. You were so kind and patient with me, and you took care of me when I couldn't or wouldn't take care of myself, and I know you've forgiven me and I know that you've put it behind you but the pain of that decision will never leave me. You are the love of my life, you are the woman who gave me a child and taught me about love and hope and magic, and when I did that… when I broke your trust in me completely, I broke myself a little."
Suddenly Ellis started crying, and Callie moved to collect the toddler before she could wake the other children. She brought the small blonde back to the living room, when small arms instantly reached for Arizona. Passing the child over, Callie's heart swelled to see Ellis cling to Arizona and melt into the embrace. She hadn't noticed that either of the adults were crying softly, but was soothed almost instantly in Arizona's arms. Callie sat beside them on the couch, one arm around the smaller woman's shoulders as she rocked Ellis back to sleep, softly singing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow."
Silent moments passed when the song was over and the rocking stopped, and Arizona was leaning into Callie's chest. It was incredibly comfortable being here with them.
"After Meredith was attacked I moved into her house to help Alex look after the children," Arizona whispered into Ellis' forehead. The deep, even breaths of the toddler indicating that she was asleep again, as comfortable in Arizona's arms as Sofia had been.
"I remember," Callie had dropped Sofia off and picked her up during those weeks at Meredith's house, even the couple months until Meredith was fully back on her feet before Arizona had moved back to her own house with Andrew.
"That was the only song I could remember the lyrics to. The second night Meredith was gone, I must have sang it a dozen times holding the baby. A couple weeks after, I had gotten back a little bit late and Maggie and Alex were singing to her but she wouldn't quiet for them, even though it was the same song. When I walked in, Ellis reached for me and I took her, my leg was killing me, but I rocked and I sang until she finally fell asleep. Alex said that Ellis must only like terrible singers."
Both of them laughed softly, and Callie tightened her arms around Arizona and Ellis.
"You're an amazing mother Arizona."
"I learned from you Calliope."
"I don't think so. I know you were hesitant about having kids, afraid of the possibility of seeing them on your ward, but kids love you. You're so good with them. You were always Sofia's favourite when she was a baby, I can admit that. I hate it, but I can admit it."
"That's just because like Ellis, Sofia prefers terrible singing. You have an amazing voice."
"I feel like you're deflecting because of things I've done and said in the past. I think that you still don't trust when I say that you're an amazing mother, a good mother." Callie knew that she had said horrible things, multiple times about their relationship. Had even done the despicable thing of throwing it in her face in court, as if the legal setting somehow invalidated the fact that Arizona had been right, had chosen Sofia, and had continued to choose her every day after. If Arizona was still angry at herself for cheating, Callie would forever be angry at herself for making Arizona doubt herself.
Arizona sighed deeply, nestling herself and Ellis further into Callie's embrace. "I want to say that I don't harbour any negative feelings about that, but that would be a lie. And it's not just you Callie, it has never just been you that said things that invalidated my role in Sofia's life."
"I'm sorry Arizona."
Arizona turned and lightly kissed Callie on the lips, "I know you are Callie. I know that you do trust me, I know that you believe in me as Sofia's mother, and I know that it's behind us. Those dark days. I don't hold it against you, I promise."
"And you know I've forgiven you about You-Know-Who right?"
"I mean, he's dead Callie, Harry killed him. We read that book to Sofia together."
Callie laughed. That wasn't a deflection. There had been a point where they couldn't make jokes to each other about these things because feelings hadn't been resolved. But the fact that they could joke about the leg, and Boswell, and the car crash and her mother, all of the bad shit that had happened to them, meant that they were healing. Better and stronger than before.
"Maybe we should forgive ourselves for those things too?" Callie asked.
"Mmm, maybe you should go put this baby back to bed and then come back and make out with me."
Almost instantly Callie extracted herself from behind Arizona and lifted Ellis from her arms. The toddler didn't wake, praise be to baby jesus and all the saints, and she was quickly returned to the small bed in the guest room. She quickly checked on the other children, Sofia and Zola were curled up together in Sofia's bed, and Bailey was sprawled across Arizona's bed. They would have to move him when they got into bed, but he slept like the dead.
Moving quickly she practically ran back to the living to find Arizona laying on the couch, her legs splayed open. Callie practically launched herself on top of Arizona, fitting herself over the smaller woman. As she pressed her lips to Arizona's, the blonde's leg wrapped around her thigh and her hands found their way under Callie's shirt, igniting a trail of fire across her skin and straight through to her core. The kiss was insistent and harsh and dripping with want and arousal.
Callie couldn't get enough.
Before she was too far gone, several long and tortuous minutes that had dragged on and yet were not nearly enough, Callie pulled back and almost lost all of her self control as she looked down at Arizona. Her lips were swollen and red, her blue eyes darkened with arousal almost a navy colour, her blonde hair was rumpled and tousled (which she couldn't remember doing), and she looked like she was having a hard time catching her breath. She looked absolutely stunning and Callie knew she needed to put some space between them.
"There's only so much a girl can take, you know." Callie breathed, lifting herself languorously from Arizona.
"Another ten seconds of that, and we'd have woken the children." Arizona rasped.
Finally their eyes met, and both women fell into a fit of giggles. They kissed again, but it was relatively chaste, mild for the two of them.
"When do you think we'll be ready, Arizona?" Callie asked. She knew she was out of questions from their history, but didn't know where Arizona stood. It was a genuine question too, not just fishing to see when they could finally make love again.
"Do you have any questions left? Big ones? Scary ones?" Arizona asked, reaching across the couch to take Callie's hand.
"Nope."
"I have one. We have therapy Monday night, so I'll ask Alex if he can take Sofia Sunday night and we can do it then."
Callie just raised her eyebrow.
"The question Calliope, the question. Not… the other thing."
"You know how this works Arizona, we're supposed to be getting physical and then stopping to ask the questions. So what I just heard was 'hey Callie, I'm planning on charming your pants off Sunday night.'"
"Well, I mean, you charmed mine off tonight. Plus, after that it's only another day until therapy. I think we might be ready."
Callie was doing the math in her head, if they got the go ahead on monday, that would be excellent, but they it would be a long time until they were able to be alone together.
"I want you Calliope. Like, I'm so aroused sometimes that it borders on painful. I need you. I will not describe the vividness of how I imagine -" Callie swallowed thickly and placed her finger on Arizona's lips to stop her. This was not helping.
"Dear god woman, stop trying to kill me."
Arizona just kissed Callie's finger and smiled. "Plus my office has an extremely comfortable couch and the door locks."
Callie felt her eyes widen at the insinuation.
888*
Thankfully Alex and Jo had agreed to keep Sofia Sunday night, Arizona had paid for pizza and drinks, and all three were excited to spend some time together. When she had lived with Alex after the divorce, she knew that Jo had been a bit annoyed at having to live with a three year old, but they two had become fast friends. Now at seven when Sofia was a bit more capable as a conversationalist that relationship blossomed. Though Jo had said that if Sofia wanted to watch Frozen again she would kill Arizona.
"Uncle Alex!" Sofia screeched as her favourite man opened the door. Alex looked equally excited and scooped the girl into his arms. It was times like these that Arizona missed Mark greatly, and wondered at what kind of father he would be now. He had been the best dad when Sofia was a baby, but having died shortly after her first birthday, Sofia didn't remember him. Arizona and Callie had both made sure that there were pictures of him everywhere, in their house when they had been together, in each of their houses when they were apart, in her bedroom, neither of them would forget Mark's place in their lives, and the would answer any questions she had.
But the way that Alex had welcomed her into his life, the way that he softened around her, made Arizona happy that she had someone to turn to. Alex and Jo were apart of their village, and Sofia would never want for anything with them around.
"Aunty Jo!" Another screech was heard as the other woman came into the room as Arizona placed the pizza and beer on the island of the loft.
"Hey big girl!" Jo said, taking the girl from Alex's arms. "I'm so happy to see you!"
"Me too! We brought pizza!" Sofia wiggled out of Jo's hold and when she was back on the floor, she grasped Jo's hand and pulled her into the kitchen with Alex.
"It's 'Aunty Jo' now, is it?" Arizona asked, watching as her daughter grasped Alex's hand and was swinging them, holding each tightly.
"If he's Uncle Alex, that makes me Aunty Jo." Suddenly the smile that she wore when she looked at Sofia faltered a bit, and she quickly added "If that's okay?"
"What, Jo? Absolutely! Sofia loves you."
Her daughter's impatience and hunger had won out shortly after, adn Arizona left her with her friends and made her way back to the condo that Callie had moved into when she had moved back to Seattle. It was with fear that she opened the door and walked into the house. It wasn't that she was afraid of Callie, it was that she was more afraid of her own reaction to what Callie would tell her, on this, her last big question.
When she had sat down after that first therapy session and wrote down all the things she wanted to know, the big scary things that she'd never asked, because she lacked courage or didn't care when they happened, Arizona had been surprised to find that there was a lot. That had come up in the second session the next week, the realization that while she and Callie had shared the deep and passionate love, they were both incredibly bad at communicating it with words. The love they shared was communicated physically, and they were so good at that part of their relationship, sometimes Arizona wondered if that was all that sustained them.
But no, there had been moments when they were together where they had used words to express themselves to each other, but they had been too few and way to far between to have built something of substance and strength that could support them when the physical could no longer sustain them. She knew now that was partially why the cheating had been so bad, for both of them. When the primary way you communicated love and affection, the breach of that had done so much damage. Arizona wasn't sure how Callie had ever been able to forgive her for it, but she suspected that it was her heart. The heart that Arizona was sure was powered by love rather than blood.
"Hey Calliope," she said when she found the brunette in the living room. There was already a glass of white wine on the coffee table there, and Callie was waiting for her with a smile on her face.
She was sans pants.
"Wasn't I supposed to charm your pants off?" Arizona asked, sitting beside her on the couch and leaning in for a kiss.
"You're just that good Arizona." Was her response.
Moments later, even before they reached the point they usually reached before they stopped, Arizona pulled back, and watched as a small pout formed on Callie's face. She was so tempted to lean in again.
She was so ready for this to be over. These rules about not taking Callie right here, right now on this couch.
As Callie reached for both glasses of wine she asked "So what's your question?"
Taking a large sip, Arizona looked at Callie and smiled. "I don't know how to begin. It's a simple question, and I really want to know the answer, but Callie, I also want you to know that I am disappointed in myself for never having asked you this before."
"Isn't that what this is about though, to finally ask and know and listen?"
"It is, but still."
"No, I feel the same way. That why didn't we realize that something was wrong with the way we were doing things? Why couldn't either of us see?" She really wanted to know the answer to that one. She knew now that talking was important, sharing was important. They had to learn to rely on articulating their thoughts and feelings and not hide the big things behind sex.
"Mmm?" Callie just nodded, drinking deeply from her glass.
"Yeah. So, you ready?"
"Absolutely."
"What were those four days like for you? When we were all gone?"
How she had never asked in the six years since the crash was unconscionable, but Callie was right. This is why they were doing this.
"Those 87 hours are the worst of my entire life. Worse than my own recovery. Worse than not being allowed to see Sofia after I woke up. Worse than the malpractice suit… just… bad." Callie took a deep breath, a light leaving her eyes as she stared into the fire place, the glass of wine in her hand seemingly forgotten. Arizona couldn't help but stare at Callie.
"At first we didn't know anything was wrong. We all thought you guys were doing your thing. Even when it came time for you to be back, no one knew that anything was wrong. I was sitting on our bed in that night, waiting for you, in that ridiculously small teddy you gave me the year before. I thought that you'd be walking in any minute. Then there was a knock at the door. I had fallen asleep, but the knock… it was ominous. I knew something was wrong instantly. If our lives were a movie, lightning would have flashed. Thunder boomed. It felt like it was happening."
They both sat in silence for a moment, Callie still looking at the fireplace, Arizona still staring at Callie.
"It was Owen and Alex. I guess that they had talked about what they were going to say, what they were going to do because Alex immediately went into Sofia's room. I could hear him doing stuff, getting her ready and talking to her in a soft voice. She didn't cry. She never cries when Alex is holding her. Isn't that strange?" At this Arizona heard the slightly hysterical laugh that Callie let loose. It was quiet and unnerving.
"Owen said 'something's happened' that was it. That was all he said. In that second, I lived an entire life. I knew you were dead Arizona. I felt it with my entire being. You all died. And suddenly I was at the hospital, hooked up to an IV. April and Jackson and Alex were sitting on the floor of my room. April was holding Zola and Alex was holding Sofia and Jackson was just staring out the window. I could see Richard and Miranda and Owen in the hallway talking. The police were there."
"The National Forestry Service was there too, and a sheriff from Idaho. I guess I'd been out for only a couple of hours, but then it hit me again. Something happened. And suddenly you were all dead again, and I felt my heart break."
Arizona watched the tears shimmer in Callie's eyes. She remembered the pain of waiting for Callie at her bedside after the car accident. But then she'd known where Callie was. She knew what had happened. She didn't have to face the uncertainty.
"All we knew was that you hadn't made it to Boise. Owen had missed calls and messages wondering where you guys were, why you hadn't shown up. The Seattle airport had you taking off, but you didn't land in Boise. I know so much of how search and rescue works now, so much technical crap that I never needed to know. But I know that your flight plan was looked at, the route you were supposed to take. I know that the weather service was called to check if you were rerouted due to a storm or something. I know that suddenly calls were being made to airports all across the country to see if a plane landed. I know that one guy called all the airports between Seattle and Boise to see if one of them pinged the plane. I know that when one did the NFS sent people in."
"I also know how massive the United States is now. Like I am consciously aware of the fact that we have millions of acres of National Parks between here and there, and that the number of people needed to search them thoroughly is crazy. It was a rich guy in his own helicopter that found you. He volunteers for search and rescue and he went up in his helicopter and he saw the wreckage. Did you know that? You were saved by a random guy who retired and decided to learn how to fly a helicopter and then spent his days helping with search and rescue."
"I was alone. Derek and Meredith were together, luckily Zola was so small she didn't really understand what was happening, same with Sofia. Mark and Lexie and Cristina. Everyone missed them and were worried of course, I'm not diminishing what they went through, but no one could understand me. My wife was missing. I was the only one that was left behind that knew what was happening. I couldn't even call my dad or your parents? What would I say? 'Hey guys, Arizona is dead. So is Mark. And Cristina and Derek and Meredith and Lexie. They're all dead.' I didn't know what to do. I mean there was nothing I could do."
"The first call we got was that they found they crash site. That was it. They couldn't tell us anything. They didn't know anything, but they couldn't tell us anything. I remembered that you were dead then. I wasn't ready to be a widow. About an hour later we were told that there was one casualty, a woman. But they didn't know you guys. Owen and Miranda ran to the plane, it was Jackson's mom's plane, I wanted to go. I needed to see you for myself. But they were heading to Boise to see you guys."
"A couple of hours later Alex and Jackson and April came back into the boardroom where I had camped out. Jackson and April took Sofia and Alex just wrapped his arms around me and said 'she's alive,' and he was crying. I'd never seen him cry before. And in that moment I was so thankful that you were alive. I was glad that someone else died. But then I remembered that it was one of my friends who had died. It was Cristina or Meredith or Lexie and I was glad that it wasn't you. I feel horrible about that."
Finally Callie looked at Arizona. And Arizona looked back, really looked. She finally understood the depth of her cruelty the night of the storm. How in her anger and rage and hatred she had invalidated everything that Callie had gone through those four days. She knew that Callie must have suffered, must have cried and been heartbroken and alone, so very alone.
"Owen called and said it was bad. You were all so close to death. Cristina was catatonic. Miranda told me that when Meredith told her that you were all to be sedated before they put you on the plane to get you home, she had never seen such a calm fire. She said she knew that if she didn't listen, didn't do what Meredith said, bad things would happen. Mark came first on the helicopter, and I knew. I knew that he was dying. I looked at him and I knew. It was five minutes more that you were there, and you were alive and in front of me, and everything just came rushing back."
Callie took a shuddering breath, tears fell silently, and Arizona wrapped her arms around the woman beside her and hugged her as tightly as she could while they both cried.
"You were dead Arizona." While she had been talking before, there was a monotone to her voice. To her words. But she had spoken clearly. That statement was a breathy whisper. "I had spent 87 thinking you were dead. Every single moment that I had with you flashed before my eyes and the grief turned everything grey. I didn't know how I was going to survive. I had Sofia, so I knew that I would have to find a way to live, to be a third of the parents she had before, but I finally learned the difference between being alive and surviving."
They sat in each others arms, each holding the other woman tighter than they had ever held each other before. Slowly, the tears stopped. The pain of those moments four years ago no longer twisted the knife, but the ghosts of memory still held a power over each of them.
"I remember waking up to see you. I had been okay in Boise. But when I saw you there when we were back in Seattle, I swear I thought I was in heaven. The four days your name was my mantra, I said it so much, picture you so much, holding on to getting to see you one last time, to see Sofia, to hold you both one last time, that when I did see you… I didn't want to trust it Callie. But then you smiled at me."
Arizona pulled away from the brunette, to look into her eyes. "You saved my life Callie. After I kissed you at Joe's, when Gary was there, when you told me you wanted me to be a part of your plan, when you woke up after the accident, when I was freezing to death in the woods thinking of you kept me warm, when you actually and literally saved my life by making the call to amputate my leg. There are a hundred different ways that you saved me Calliope."
Callie leaned forward and rested her forehead against Arizona's, and they gripped each other tighter then. The fire was dying down in the fireplace, wine glasses half full and forgotten on the coffee table. They just sat together, a lifetime of despair and tragedy between them, so much bad luck that if it weren't for the bad they wouldn't have any luck at all. But there was as much happiness and love between them. Their history wasn't a grey landscape dotted with rare moments of light. It was a colourful collection of time and experience that defined who they were as individuals as well as a couple. No single moment had brought them here.
"Arizona," the breathy whisper was back, and it sent warmth through the blonde's body.
"Yeah?"
"I think I'm falling in love with you." Her heart did a funny beat in her chest, and a million butterflies erupted in her stomach. She knew she loved Callie, knew that part of her was always going to love the woman in her arms, but she also knew that there was a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. Knew that she too was falling in love with Callie again.
"I'm falling in love with you too Calliope."