[A/N: Author: *yawns, checks the website*
Author: Hmmm I wonder how people liked my ridiculous crack fic *sees 200+ views*
Author: OH MY DEAR ARCEUS WHY DO YOU LIKE THIS SO MUCH
Seriously though! Thank you all so much for taking your time to read this ridiculous thing! I promise to make a lot more, up until the game comes out. Then I'll be busy playing it. :3
From now on each chapter is a dual set of "episodes". I'll try to make these at least every other day (maybe more if I'm very inspired.) feel free to recommend which characters I should torture – they don't even have to actually be in smash Bros., if you really want it that badly. (HECKING WALUIGI) But, seriously, how is this the most popular thing I've made?]
Episode 2: Hey remember Bowletta
Bowser was honestly tired of all the Bowsette fanart on the Internet. It was getting out of hand, though thankfully dying down. But, alas, it wasn't even the worst thing the Koopa King had been through. After all, Cackletta was obnoxious as heck, and unfortunately, he was taken over by her soul again. And those weird… boob-things were back as well, which made everyone very confused and creeped out about Bowletta back when Superstar Saga first came out on the GBA.
"We must find my dear assistant Fawful!" She spoke to herself (himself? Itself? Everyone is gender confused now I suppose welp).
Yoshi wandered into the room at that moment. "Cackletta! Fawful heard your pining of trees for me! I took over this rat-fink for you!"
"Perfect." They cackled. The author groaned at how ridiculous that statement was. "Now, we take over and retrieve the beanstar!"
And so they set out, but couldn't find the beanstar because it, too, was just a spirit now. It had decided to support Yoshi, so technically they had it the entire time. But, neither of them knew it was there so they wandered aimlessly about until Cackletta got bored of Fawful constantly bumping into things because he didn't have his ridiculous glasses. Bowser then proceeded to beat up Yoshi until Fawful left as well.
Honestly what did you expect an amazing plot NO THIS IS A CRACK FIC GOOD DAY SIRS AND LADIES AND ASSORTED CATS
Episode 3: Pichuman Ga Taosenai
By the time Mega Man got to Dr. Wily's Castle, it was probably too late.
Pichu has destroyed everything. Dr. Wily was already a spirit though, so the most he could do was wiggle and glow angrily at the destruction of his fabulous fortress. The Yellow Devil had been destroyed (it's weak to electricity lol) and also did the same, though decided to bother Mega boi as he approached the small electric rodent cautiously.
"SO YOU HAVE FINALLY COME!" It boomed. "MY REVENGE IS AT HAND, MEGA MAN!"
"Definitely a spirit." He muttered, preparing his Mega Buster. Rush's soul whined in anticipation. Zero's soul wondered what it was fighting for. The Yellow Devil's soul was still being annoying. Bubble Man's soul had something to say, but was cut off by Metal Man's soul throwing a soul metal blade at him. "Now, the only question is, which one is-"
"FACE ME, AIR MAN, THE ONE WHO CANNOT BE DEFEATED!"
"Oh well that actually makes a ton of sense"
"FACE MY… uh… well thunder tornadoes are Tornado Man's theme, so… FACE MY SPARKNADOS! WHICH HAVE NO RELATION TO SHARKNADOS!" The Pichu Man screeched, summoning gusts of wind crackling with lightning from nowhere.
"Wait, But isn't spark a physical move?"
"Oh. Right. Um…. THUNDERSHOCK TORNADOS!" The Pichu Man accidentally shocked himself because Pichu is honestly a not very good choice for a rampaging robot who has a fan for a mouth.
"DAMMIT! NEVER MIND!" It snarled, summoning more tornados that weren't full of lightning this time.
Mega Man merely sidestepped, and the tornados missed.
"Dude, you need to work on your aim." He shifted back away from his Mega Buster to prove his point.
"AAAJFYDUFYDGIHSSTGIYSDUYDHODFHursetiitdiypfhdigyodoxgog Lv todtidkhctussit" At this point the author gave up trying to write about how annoyed Air Man/Pichu was. Let's move on.
At that moment, Villager saw the secret signal from Mega boi and swung down on a vine, leaves in hand. He slapped the Pichu Man with them, and with his holy touch Air Man was exorcised. He then threw a master ball at Air Man. That is how he obtained ACbot 2000 (that's what his holiness nicknamed him. Air Man fled about a week later and was never seen in Smash Bros. again.) Sakurai was impressed.
"Thanks, Villager!" They did the highest of fives, content that they had finished their mission. Secure, Contain, Protect was their- oh wait wrong thing oops. The author has really put in all of the references – ALL OF THEM.
Villager left, muttering that he was going to take the robot's head off with an Axe after he re-enacted the Shining.