Agent Hotchner this is none of your business
"Reid-" Hotch tried to sound angry, but he was too surprised about Reid's behavior.
He could not remember the last time Reid called him Agent Hotchner, it was probably the first time he met Spencer Reid. Jason Gideon told Hotch about Spencer before , that he was a genius and that Gideon assumed he would be an excellent addition to the team, but it was different to see the boy himself.
He was very skinny and pale, nobody who saw him would assume how special he really was.
Hotch was an experienced profiler so he knew that most people would never recognize that the people in their surroundings like at a train or in a mall - all had a story on their own and that every person was unique.
He knew that every single person experienced something that changed them and that their appearance did not say a thing about them at all. He had seen people who seemed to be ignorant a**holes, but if you take the time to learn more about them they might have a reason for their behavior, but nobody would ever take the time to get to know these things about them.
Aaron Hotchner learnt pretty fast how it worked - people see a person and automatically judge them even if they do not want to.
He was not different, the moment he saw Spencer Reid he thought that this kid would never be strong enough to stand this job, but hell everybody who really knew Spencer Reid would know what a strong person he was – Reid stopped him from continuing his thoughts…
"Hotch, I really mean it, I know you need to tell Strauss about this, but I promise you…"
Reid stopped talking immediately as he realized that he did not even know, if he would want to stay on this team.
This thought shocked him more than anything, this people were his family and he did not want to lose them, but he was scared that they would betray him again he needed years to trust people after his father abandoned him and after the difficult time he had in high school – well "difficult" was quite an understatement, high school was torture for him.
He met Gideon and he learnt to trust him … but then Gideon left him as well.
He knew that Gideon left, because he couldn't stand this job anymore, but he could have called him at least…
And know his trust was betrayed again and he felt always when he wanted to get up from the ground another person pushed him down again.
His father – Gideon- Hotch – JJ – Emily
Emily, ... he felt betrayed by her as well, but seeing her and knowing she was alive was enough for him not to be really angry at her, he knew that was the reason why Morgan was not angry with her.
But still she left him.
He lifted his head, knowing he did just let himself carry away by his thoughts and that he needed to finish what he just started.
"Hotch I just don't want you to tell Strauss, believe me when I tell you I'm very confused and to be honest I don't know where I belong right know, but until I know I don't want to lose the opportunity to stay on this team even if I don't know yet…"
"You don't know if you want to stay on this team..." JJ's voice sounded cold and silent but you could still hear the guilt in her voice.
"Man, you really want to leave us?" Morgan could not believe that his little brother really wanted to leave them he knew that Reid did not have any family apart from themselves except for his mother, but she was not able to be really there for him like they could.
Emily stared in disbelief and the scene in front of her.
This is your fault.
That was the only thing that crossed her mind in this moment.
Rossi's thoughts were still on Reid's former statement
your brainiac would have issues with his friend's fake death and the betrayal of people I considerated as family…
Did Reid really thought they just used him as a walking encyclopedia? ,but what concerned him more than that was that he spoke about them as his family in the past tense, the simple thought that Reid might have stopped thinking about them as family hit him hard.
Thank you so much for your feedback (: Sorry for this long note, but I really need your opinion (: I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter !
some of you wanted me to continue this story so I tried , I'm afraid I'll really mess this up but ...here it is :D
I would be very thankful if you could tell me if I should continue this or if it is a bad idea (:
I have a few ideas where I could take this story, and I'm thinking about linking some of my personal experiences to this story, I already know this won't be a long story because I thing if I would write this too detailed it would be boring, actually I'm afraid this chapter was already a bit boring, but I want to focus on Reid in the following chapters and I want (maybe) Morgan to have a talk with him, but even if I continue writing I will wait until you tell me if you want me this to continue before I update (: