A/N: Sorry the chapters get like twice as long as I go along hahaha I just felt like there were certain parts that should be grouped together. or something.
He finds her in the dark, leaning against a wall of the club as she stares in amazement at the display of pretty, pretty lights spattering and flashing and palpitating all around her. She wears two necklaces of neon pink around her neck, and her forearms are decorated nearly up to her elbow with glowing bracelets, and she can't look away. Blue. Green. Purple. Yellow. Orange. Red. Pink. She is a neon princess thriving in her neon palace.
"What's your poison tonight?"
His voice surprises her over the thundering music, and she glances up with shimmering emerald eyes that nearly glow themselves in the darkness. He's not wearing any necklaces or bracelets, which is extremely unsurprising, but his white shirt shimmers a mesmerizing silver and it illuminates his deadly handsome smirk.
Sakura simply sticks out her tongue to show him the little white tablet still dissolving on her tongue. He leans forward so that he's resting one palm on the wall beside her head, his body hunched slightly so that he towers over her, trapping her in the shadow of his lethal beauty. Hooded eyes don't break contact with his, but she feels unexpectedly small and vulnerable, like prey open to attack, and it sends a violent shudder down her spine. It's hot, too hot with him so close, his body only centimeters away from being pressed flush against hers, and she wants that so fucking bad. Wants to feel the hard planes of his body crushing down on her soft curves and have his hands everywhere on her bare skin, searing handprint shaped scars into her flesh.
"You're very predictable, Sakura," he says, his husky voice emphasizing every syllable in her name. She licks her lips, and his eyes follow the movement very closely.
She's still too sober to be unashamed of the fact that she's being enticed by the addictive substance that was Sasuke Uchiha, so when that familiar gurgling of shame and not so stale heartbreak begins to bubble in her stomach, she knows it's time to make a break for it. But she just can't resist a little bit of flirting.
Drawing herself up to her full height, she presses herself against the Uchiha, red painted lips nearly pressed against his ear and small hands flattened against his chest. "It's predictable that you find me predictable, Sasuke," she practically purrs.
She's pushing him away softly, and his body follows the command of her hands without protest, and then she's walking away in her neon glory to find Temari, hips swaying in her little black dress and mixed feelings of shame and adrenaline mixing a sick concoction in her chest.
She hates herself enough to avoid him for the rest of the night, but then the pill hits and she's floating through the atmosphere, free of gravity and full of color.
And she raves.
"When do you think it all changed?" Naruto asks suddenly, somberly, and Sakura can only kind of hear what he's saying because her heart is singing in her ears. Da da, da dum, da dum. So pretty.
The blonde is hunched over the bar, elbows pressed down onto the sticky surface as his eyes stare blankly at something, face serious. His eyes are red and his words slightly slurred, so she knows he's drunk. Sakura tips her head back, and long waves of pink cascade across the bar, green eyes bleary but wide open.
'They changed after Sasuke's parents were murdered in that robbery, and he decided to retreat into his cocoon made of ice. After you finally turned eighteen and the foster home couldn't keep you anymore, and you met the real world in a head on collision. After my dad decided he didn't love me enough to stay, and love suddenly didn't make any sense. They changed after I gave Sasuke my heart and he never gave it back and you chose him and I chose me.'
She wants to say all these things, but the magic in her veins won't let her, won't let her bring her mind out of orbit enough to talk about stupid, sad things that don't belong in her paradise. So she doesn't answer, and Naruto takes another swig of his drink. The music vibrates in her bones, and she hums happily.
"You should go talk to her," Sakura says suddenly, unable to keep her body from moving to the beat. "Hinata. She likes you and you like her, so you should go talk to her."
Naruto lifts his head, and through hooded bloodshot eyes finds dark hair and silver eyes. He stands and grins drunkenly as he tugs softly on Sakura's hair before stumbling away, and Sakura feels relieved. Because when Naruto gets drunk, he asks all these stupidly hard questions that she doesn't understand, and there aren't supposed to be questions here, only answers. You only find answers in paradise.
The tingling of hairs rising on the back of her neck makes her turn her head toward the other end of the bar, and she finds him, watching with eyes of blackest black that make her feel too many colors. The heat coils in her stomach again, blazes a rapid path all the way down the ends of her hair, and she wants to touch him, feel him in every atom in her body until they shatter and explode.
Instead, she smirks, and he raises his glass to her with the corners of his lips quirking upward, and then she's falling back into her world of sweat slicked bodies and bone shattering beats and she thinks 'catch me.'
He does catch her. Near the end of June when they've spent nearly two months playing this game of push and seek and hide and pull beneath a backdrop of laser lights and little white pills.
The entire group is crowded around the bar, and there is clinking glasses and loud laughter, and prisms are shattering into rainbows and iridescent crystals in Sakura's eyes and yes, this is perfect. Ino, Temari, and Kankuro are competing to see who can take the most shots, and Naruto is talking animatedly with Hinata, and Tenten is wrapped around Neji, whispering something in his ear that makes his opaque eyes darken.
Then Sasuke sidles up next to her, his own little white pill dancing on his tongue, and she laughs and laughs and laughs because there is no pain here, no black. His eyebrow lifts, and her brow crunches. Was that a question? No…an invitation. With a pretty, shiny smile she accepts, but before they have the chance to bail, everyone decides it is indeed time to leave.
They stumble down the sidewalks as a group, boisterous and free and alive in the mild coolness of the summer air. Sakura throws her head back, and she wishes she could see the stars, all of them in their dazzling luster, wishes she could hold one in her hand and be covered in star dust.
Someone tugs on her hand, and she loses sight of the stars above, but then she feels them drop into her stomach because Sasuke's mouth has closed over hers and his hand is buried deep in her pink hair and wow. It takes her a moment to find her senses in the mess of colors but then she does, and there's tongue and teeth and fire. His lips are fervent, insistent and not even remotely soft, but she doesn't need them to be because she needs to feel the hard press of skin against skin, just needs to feel. He has her pressed against a dirty wall in a street full of dirty drunk college students but she feels so damn pretty.
Beneath the fire and the haze and the stars she knows this shouldn't be happening, knows she's only digging herself into a deeper hole, but she can't bring herself to care because she's got her magic pills and her pretty kaleidoscope colors and they're both telling her yes.
So somehow they stumble 3 more blocks to Sasuke's apartment, and her hand is clenched in his the entire way, and sometimes they have to stop because she has to taste him again and again and again. She can barely find a breath between the kisses and the excitement, and her body is quivering in anticipation, and she wonders if this is a new high because she's never felt anything like it. Then they're inside, and his mouth is everywhere and his hands are everywhere, and she can feel every individual cell of her body touching his. He sucks on her pulse point and pushes his clothed groin into hers sharply, and she cries out and it sounds so far away. Wetness is pooling in her underwear, and the sharp coil in her stomach tightens. The heat in the room is stifling, and Sasuke's heavy breathing in her ear sends these delicious shivers down her spine.
Their shirts are gone, and Sakura doesn't remember how, and then Sasuke's fingers are pushing her out of her jean shorts, dragging them roughly down quivering, slim thighs with sure fingers. She feels decidedly vulnerable standing there nearly naked in the dark, but, instead of frightening her, it thrills her in a way that feels like explosions of glitter and rushes of frigid air beneath the drug.
He pushes her backwards through the darkness of his apartment, fingers clenched too tightly on her hips and mouth attached religiously to hers. She's distracted by his silk tongue and his silk fingers and silk skin, but then she's suddenly falling backwards onto the bed in a flutter of pretty, pretty pink strands and wide glimmers of jade, and her heart is flying out of her chest. His hands are blazing hot on her thighs the moment her back touches the soft gray sheets, and she wishes she could see his face more clearly but it's too hazy and too colorful and she can only feel.
Then her back is arching up because he's ripped her underwear off, and two long fingers are buried inside her, thrusting and curling in a way that makes her cry out and see glitter, glitter, glitter. But she needs more than this, more of Sasuke, needs to be broken and shattered and wrecked and remade.
So she fumbles with the button of his jeans and plunges her hand beneath the fabric, a soft groan blowing past her lips when her fingers came into contact with coarse hair and cool skin and then oh yes. Her fingers close around his throbbing cock, heavy and thick in her palm, and the way Sasuke groans makes her throb near painfully. Her body is on fire, and the entire rainbow is tumbling through her veins like rushing water. More.
"Sasuke, please," she gasps, the heightened tingling in her skin making her breathless and so, so desperate. "Please."
Her breathy whisper makes him snap, and suddenly his pants are gone and her bra is finally gone, and he's inside her, pounding a vicious rhythm that makes her scream. She almost feels overwhelmed because his hips are snapping against her too sharply and he's suffocating her in all the right ways and the magic pills are too magic right now and sweet God.
But then it's heavy moans and nails dragging down his back and hot skin sliding against hot skin, and she loves it. It's his hands pulling on her hair and his nails digging into her thighs and his cock reaching so fucking deep inside her, she swears he's touching part of her soul. She's wanton and completely uninhibited, and she scratches and arches and cries and falls to pieces.
He fucks her until she shatters into millions of pretty pink crystals all over his amazingly gray sheets, and this is what it's like to love Sasuke in kaleidoscope colors. With his thumb pressing onto her clit, he brings her to orgasm after orgasm with relentless thrusts while tears cling to the corners of her eyes and her body quivers uncontrollably. And the heavens are opening up to swallow her whole, and she sees bright lights in every color and wishes he was fucking her underneath the pulsing lights of the club while the music vibrates through their naked bodies like the beat of a palpitating heart. He comes, and she loves him and she loves him and she loves him.
It's four-thirty in the morning when she crawls out of the bed and slowly pulls on her clothes. Sasuke's dead asleep with slits of moonlight pouring over his beautiful naked body, and Sakura giggles to herself.
She's still high on drugs and sex, but she knows she can't stay, so she leaves with all the kaleidoscope colors still dancing so pretty in her eyes, her mind orbiting the moon, and her heart sprawled across expensive gray sheets.
It's two weeks later when it hits her like a tidal wave descending upon the shore, overpowering and lethal and frighteningly beautiful.
She's leaning over the front of his sofa, knees planted firmly into the carpet and fingers desperately trying to find purchase in the fabric as he pounds into her from behind with the satisfying sound of skin slapping against skin. This isn't their first time or their second or their third because one taste was all it took to incite an addiction, but every time they come together it's a plethora of new sensations and a combustion of pleasure so powerful she can't even remember how to breathe. And it's her magic pills mixing with his magic touch, and she isn't sure anymore which one has her under this inescapable spell.
One of his hands holds her hips in place as the other snakes up to grab a handful of pink in his fist, and she releases a strangled gasp at the way he yanks her head back. Fuck, she likes that. Then his teeth sink down into her shoulder, and she cries out, pushing her hips back into his and yelling out harder, faster, please Sasuke! And he yanks her up by the waist suddenly, spinning so he's sitting on his couch and she's straddling his hips, and she's danced this routine so many times already she doesn't miss a beat and plunges herself down onto his glistening cock. They both cry out, and her chest heaves and the walls of pussy flutter, and this is when she knows.
She knows that there will never be a drug or a drink or a club that will make her forget the feel of his large hands bruising her small hips, of his chest heaving against hers, of his cock moving inside her with a ferocity she'll never find anywhere else. Nothing will ever dull the memory of his voice rasping and growling in her ear, of his hips slamming against hers, of his thumbs grazing her nipples, of his mouth closed so expertly over hers.
And for a moment she's absolutely petrified by the thought, but then he hits the spot in her that's so damn right and she just doesn't fucking care anymore. Because with her head tossed back and her long waves dancing against his thighs, she doesn't just see her pretty colors. She feels them and tastes them and hears them and smells them like she's falling through a kaleidoscope and landing in a rainbow ocean.
Because Sasuke makes her feel like she's a comet burning up in the atmosphere, a pretty little galactic flyer trying to run, run, run. And Sasuke is the supernova she can't escape.
"Enough," Sasuke says, plucking the red cup from Sakura's hands and placing it on a nearby wooden table.
Sakura's head is buzzing, the lake party surrounding her only a blur, but it's not enough. She doesn't need to see blurs. She needs to be blinded by color.
"What?" she snaps angrily. "Sasuke, I'm not done."
The dark haired Uchiha says nothing and leans back against a tall tree, staring blankly out at the large amount of people hovering around the bonfire. Sakura reaches for her drink again, but Sasuke's hand shoots out and knocks it to the ground, the red tinted contents spilling out across the dirt. Sakura feels a surge of anger underneath the flow of alcohol that makes her cheeks burn and her fists clench.
"You don't even know what's in there, Sakura," he says simply, glowering down at her, and she doesn't care.
She opens her mouth to retort angrily, but instead she turns and stumbles away, knowing full well that he'll do his best to stop her from drinking but he'll do nothing to stop her from leaving. Her head hurts so much. It's too full of too many confusing things, and this is not how she's supposed to feel right now.
Sasuke is doing it again. He's poisoning her, and she feels so sick and weak and tired. He hasn't been around as much, choosing to venture out with the gang only every now and then, and she doesn't understand why he's disappearing. And when he's around, all he does is watch her, too closely and too carefully. He tries to stop her from drinking, limit her little white pills, keep her from falling into paradise. It's so frustrating, and whydoesnthewanthertobehappy?
Sakura glances back at him from across the bonfire and finds his face beyond the beauty of the flickering flames. The glaring reds and oranges and yellows flicker in his dark eyes as he watches her. She can't read the look in his eye, can't decipher the message in his rigid stance. So she flees, and running from Sasuke is something she's become very good at.
She passes Naruto as she pushes through the people, and his face is a little sad and a little disappointed, and she wants him to stop fucking looking at her like that. He calls her name, but it gets lost in the mush of drunken laughter and painful thoughts and loud music. And she runs from him too.
Ino is suddenly linking her arm through Sakura's and dragging her along the pier, and Tenten, Hinata and Temari are already sitting at the end of it, feet dangling over the edge into the water. And Sakura feels safe here. Surrounded by her girls and their understanding and their strength, Sakura can finally breathe. The moon hangs high overhead, and the sky is so big and clear, and how can Sasuke be such an overwhelming presence when the universe is so infinite?
Temari passes a drink to Sakura, and her mind shuts off.
She can't breathe. There are too many people, and they push and pull and grab and suffocate her, and she doesn't understand. Maybe she's had too much to drink because the floor is tilting dangerously and the music rattles in her head uncomfortably and her pretty colors aren't so pretty right now. They're too bright, and the way they flash across her eyes makes her stomach churn and her skin crawl. Everything is wrong, so wrong, and she doesn't want to do this anymore.
But then she feels Sasuke's black, black eyes searing the flesh off her bones, and a desperate fear seizes her like a dark blanket. He's too close. She's too vulnerable. She has to get away.
So she pushes her way through these unrecognizable people, deeper, deeper, deeper into an abyss of black and color and phantom reality. The air is stifling, and Sakura can't find the room to take a breath, can't find herself in the mass of sweaty bodies, moving and swaying and grinding until they have all just become a giant blur of people she once understood. Everything is covered in shadows, and panic begins to set in because she can't see and she can't breathe and she's lost. No, no. She doesn't like this. She doesn't like this!
Small hands shove the people aside, and unsteady feet just go. She feels like she's walking through water, everything muffled and slow and bleak. She's drowning. And then she sees him outside the mess, waiting. For her.
There are only two options now. Flee into his arms or dissolve into these ugly colors. Hesitation. A deep breath. So she collapses in his arms, these strong arms, these safe arms. And he holds her like she could break at any moment, as if she wasn't already broken. He's too dangerous, and she's too far gone, but she can breathe now.
He's yelling at her, and she knows from his glistening eyes that he's still a little high or a little drunk because she is too. Hypocrite, she thinks, he's such a hypocrite. Sasuke never yells, so when he first starts, she's a little scared and a little worried and a little lost because there are colors floating all around her in pretty iridescent waves and cosmic swirls but there's an inkling of black, and it doesn't belong. It poisons her colors, corrupts them until all she can feel is that black, that ugliness. Her feet are coming back down to the ground, pulling her out of orbit and back into frigid reality. She hates it here.
She covers her ears with her hands, but he keeps going, and she doesn't understand whatthehellisgoingon. He had fallen asleep after their last round of sex, so she doesn't understand how he heard her trying to sneak out into the velvet night and the pounding rain. But she couldn't stay. She could never stay. Why didn't he understand?
The corners of her eyes begin to prick, and she's breathing heavily, back pressed against the wall, trying to shrink, shrink, shrink away. Stop. Stop yelling. She says it aloud, whispers it maybe, but he doesn't hear her.
"Sakura," he says sharply. "Sakura, listen to me."
She shakes her head, a flurry of pretty pink. Then Sasuke walks forward and grips her upper arms, pulling her close and shaking her none too gently so that she has no choice but to look up into his dark, dark eyes.
"You need to stop this," he says, and though he's no longer yelling, there's still a steeliness and a harshness that makes her want to run. "You've taken this too far. You're destroying yourself. Are you listening to me? Enough of this, Sakura. You can't do this anymore."
"No," she whispers tearfully, and her throat aches, aches from rising emotions and desperation. "Don't talk to me. Just let me leave." She wiggles weakly in his grasp, tries to get him to step away because his hands sear her skin and his presence suffocates her heart. It was a bad idea to do this again, to fall back into this pattern with him, but she just needed him sometimes.
"School starts in a few weeks, Sakura," he says severely, releasing her so that he could firmly grasp her chin in his fingers, forcing her to look, to see him. His face is stone and his eyes are fire, but there is something else there, something softer and unrecognizable. "How are you going to be a doctor acting like this, huh? How are you going to get through school? Do you think Naruto deserves this?"
There's an eruption of fury in her veins, a fire so furious that tears begin to rain down on her cheeks and her blood begins to simmer in her veins, but he keeps going.
"Do you think Naruto deserves everything you're putting him through? Do you-"
With a sudden burst of strength, she shoves him away from her, and he stumbles back, surprised. She's sobbing now, and she's so fucking mad, so fucking tired.
"Do I think he deserves this?" she asks and her voice is shrilly and shaking, and she must look completely mental, but she doesn't care. "Does he deserve this? Do I fucking deserve this? Do you think any of us deserved this, Sasuke? Don't you dare act like you suddenly care, Sasuke. After all these years of nothing from you, and you suddenly want to care? Please spare me the bullshit."
She has to pause to breathe through the tears because she suddenly feels like she's drowning and it's too hot and too black.
"Sakura-" he starts, but she doesn't let him speak, not now.
"I don't believe you, Sasuke," she says venomously. "I don't believe for one second that you actually care about what I'm choosing to do with my life or how it'll end up."
"Sakura-"
"Shut up! Just shut up!" Lightning flashes angrily across the room, and why does he have to look so handsome even in the electric blue light? "I hate you, Sasuke. I hate you. You have no idea what it's like to love someone like you. If I could love anyone else, anyone, I would, but I can't. So just leave me alone, Sasuke. Just let me go! I don't want to feel like this anymore."
She turns and makes a grab for the front door and manages to fling it open wide enough to catch the scent of rain and thunder before his large hand flies past her head and slams it shut with a loud crack. Sakura manages to release a quick, angry shout before he whips her around and slams his mouth roughly down onto hers.
There's resistance at first, rapid thoughts and doubts and desperation, but his lips are electric and persistent against hers and her body seems to be making the decision her mind doesn't want to make. Her cheeks are still wet, and both of their chests are still heaving from the intensity of the argument, but they don't stop. The atmosphere is charged with anger and lust and fire and a poignant frustration, but it makes everything feel that much more perfectly tainted. Sasuke's lips dance over her tear burned cheeks and down her elegant neck as he presses her into the wall by the door, legs clenched tightly around his naked waist. Her red dress has been tossed into a corner somewhere, and his pants have fallen to the floor around his feet, and the heat of his skin against hers makes her burn, burn, burn.
He kisses her so deep and hard for such a long time that she is sure her lips will be forever bruised and her breath will be eternally stolen, but then he pulls back slightly for just a second, and a rush of glorious air tumbles down into her lungs. Then he's plunging into her, and she's crying out into a clap of thunder and the blue of lightning, consumed by a tempest of hate and love and Sasuke.
The ridges of her spine dig sharply into the wall as he moves, and there will be bruises, and she wonders if the neighbors can hear him fucking her into oblivion. Her head smacks against the wall when Sasuke presses his thumb to her clit, and she keens and moans and screams and shatters so prettily.
"Sasuke," she moans into his ear, and she doesn't have to say more because he knows exactly what she wants, everything she needs, and he gives it to her without hesitation.
His hands have an iron grip on her ass, and she can only cling to him helplessly when he begins to go harder and deeper, and the way his hips fall against hers makes her think that she's never known true magic until now.
"Fuck. Sakura. So perfect. Shit." He rasps absently against the shell of her ear, and nothing has ever made her feel more powerful than bringing Sasuke to a wanton, desperate mess.
She screams one last time as he hits the spot, and she can feel him coming with her, feel his body quivering beneath her fingertips as wave after wave of delirious pleasure rolls over her. They slide to the floor gracelessly, and she collapses against his chest with his limp cock still pulsing inside her as he lays back. Bodies sweaty and chests heaving, they simply lay collapsed and broken with one another and say nothing.
Sakura wakes up hours later on the couch with Sasuke's arm wrapped tightly around her waist, her back pressed against his gently rising chest. It's still dark and the rain hasn't ceased, only relented to a gentle pattering of rain drops, and everything is so unbelievably silent. She thinks this is the first time anything has been this calm between them, and it almost feels nice, but her eyes are raw from tears and her heart hurts and her body feels sore. So with the utmost stealth, the pretty broken girl slips out of his arms, tiptoes around the carpeted room until she's found all of her clothing, pulls them on slowly and disappears into the night.
The rain is refreshing on her heated skin as she walks down the darkness of the empty streets, and she wonders if it could wash away all of her mistakes and heartaches and Sasuke's lingering touch. She wonders if anything could.