A/N: Pssst, thank you for reading, and all your kind words, they fuel the muse.

"Normality wasn't in the days I'd left behind me: it was only to be found in whatever fortune placed in my path each morning."

-Maria Duenas

Having a little, Welcome Home, party for Emma on Tuesday. Would love if you and Danny could come…Jason too, of course.

Of course.

Tugging her bottom lip between her teeth, she stares at the screen, conflicted. There was a part of her that desperately wanted to go…wanted to wrap her arms around Emma and remind her how much she was still loved, would always be loved because in the short time they had together, Emma had stolen a piece of her heart that she knew would never get back.

Another, more selfish reason, was, to see him, and feel wrapped up in that warmth and strength that he possessed in one look, a dimple etched in his cheek as he made sure she remembered she wasn't alone in this.

The problem she encounters, is that she isn't alone…not anymore, she has Jason back, and that should be enough. It has to be enough. So she can't find comfort in Patrick's sinewy arms to wrap her up, or the way his lips would brush over her hair absentmindedly. She can't depend on that, even if she still dreams of it on nights when the side of the bed isn't occupied by anything but the ghosts of the life she thought she would have.

OoO

In the end, she goes, Jason still gone on business, Danny running up the familiar path, his blonde hair bouncing in excitement before he's ringing the doorbell, "Hey, hey, chill on the door bell" she teases, ruffling his hair.

Before he can respond the door bursts open, "DANNY" Emma squeals before looking up, "SAM" she says throwing her arms around her waist. Fingers flow through the little girls hair, she hadn't imagined how much it would hurt to see her again, because she had pushed back all those memories, of the feelings…how much she had loved the moments with their little family.

"Daddy's in the kitchen getting plates, come in" she says, pulling away, grabbing her by her hand and pulling her into the house.

Jake waves at them from across the room, "Danny, come here, the race track is SO COOL" he exclaims and she watches her son run to his brother as Emma follows.

"Here Danny, you can be green, Daddy painted one of the black cars PINK, for me"

Warmth spreads over her, like sinking into a warm bath at the end of a long day, bubbles up to your chin, the tension finally releasing from weary muscles. She hadn't realized how much she had come to equate this place, these voices, with the strength of coming home.

Pulling her eyes away, she walks towards the kitchen and pushes it slowly, hearing the familiar laugh and tease of his melodic voice, flirting, and feels her heart drop into the heels of her shoes, "Oh Nurse, meet me in the empty OR" he whispers huskily, and the bile tickles at her throat, knuckles white gripping the door, suddenly losing the ability to breathe.

He's moved on. He's moved on. The ground recedes beneath her and all she can feel is the sinking down into herself. It wouldn't be fair for her to expect him not to, not when she…but she doesn't care about fair right now because everything she thought she wanted is blown apart, sanguine red in puddles at her feet.

"Shut up Patrick, I went on one date with him" the other voice admonishes, jarring, and then she hears him chuckle deeply.

"Yeah yeah, I see how he looks at you" he teases, "I'm gonna have to have a talk with that Dr. Griffin about how to treat my best friend"

The air fills her lungs again, and her stomach stops tossing like a dingy in a hurricane when she realizes it's just he and Liz teasing…for a moment, it had felt so real, the finality of it all…him with someone else, her going home to Jason.

It is final, the voice in her head reminds her…she just wishes it was loud enough to convince her heart.

His hand catches the door and before she thinks, she's being pushed backwards, stumbling, almost falling. Almost, because his strong arms grab around her to steady her, "Whoa there" he whispers against her hair, "I got you"

Looking up, under hooded lashes, their gazes match, his eyes dark in concern, "You okay?" he asks.

Is she okay? The thought alone is enough to make her belly ache with a somber chuckle that will never meet her lips. The truth is, okay was lost in one fell swoop in that church and the moment she walked out of his door with his kiss in her hand, she knew she'd never be able to get it back.

OoO

"What's on your mind sunshine" he asks, his blue eyes twinkling at her as he comes down the stairs, long strands still wet from the shower.

Looking up from her case file, she quirks her eyebrows and looks at him. He doesn't find the same comfort in the long silences between them. Her mind drifts back to a time, they could sit on the couch for hours, her feet in his lap, going over case files, him watching the game on television. She longs for that again, how effortless it had been to communicate with no words…no need for the idle that he seems to feel quite familiar with.

This is the new him, she reminds herself, and she has to learn to love those parts of him that are no longer the same. Even if she is no longer the same.

"Just reading some notes on this case, things go okay on the island?" she asks, knowing that he was nervous about taking a job with Sonny, any job, even on the legal side of things considering his knowledge of their past relationship.

That elicits a big smile as he comes and sits on the edge of the couch, "I wasn't sure…you know, I didn't know if I was cut out for this but, it feels good to be out there working with the people, and I think…I think I'm really good at it" he tells her, looking over her at sheepishly, "This is weird, right? I mean…it's different than before" he asks her, his teeth pulling at his bottom lip.

Maybe it's the way he looks at her, so unsure, it tugs at her heartstrings and she sets down the file, "Yeah, it's different" she tells him, coming to wrap her hands around his, "You weren't a talker", before" she teases making him laugh, "You didn't really…you were more behind the scenes in the business so" she stops for a moment to try and think of the right way to phrase it without reminding him of things that make them both uncomfortable to discuss, "There was no talk about work, you were never verbose" she teases, arching a brow with a smirk and he chuckles squeezing his grip on her.

He pulls her up and against him, her head resting over his heart, and she closes her eyes the moment she feels the moisture pool in them. It burns at the backs of her eyelids but she fights back the tremble of emotion. He is trying so hard to be what she wants, who she wants…to fill in the ghost that haunts their past…but how's she supposed to admit that maybe, what she wants, or who she wants, isn't that ghost anymore?