Chapter One – The Decision
Ginny returned home after the long day, drained beyond belief. Seeing Harry, her Harry, in such a state left her in a state of deep despair. Not even the death of her brother had affected her so greatly. She was desperately afraid that Harry had lost the will to live, and she wasn't quite certain she could endure having him die a second time.
Although it was barely half eight when she slipped into the house, she crept up the stairs, hoping she could avoid speaking to her parents. She didn't want to tell them where she'd been, and what she'd been doing, but she also didn't want to lie. Ever since Fred had died, her Mum was keeping a close eye on her, as if afraid she would suddenly disappear. She was getting quite fatigued with her mother's insistence that she return to Hogwarts, and her platitudes about how everything was going to work out for the better. She couldn't understand what could possibly lead her mother to think that Fred's death, the deaths of Remus and Tonks and countless others, could possibly be for the better.
As she dragged herself wearily up the stairs, the strain of the day finally took it's toll. She opened her door, kicked off her trainers, and fell onto her bed in a state of complete and utter exhaustion. She didn't hear her mother's quiet knock on her door. She never stirred when her mother lifted the latch and entered to check on her only daughter before turning in herself. She half-turned when her mother covered her with the quilt folded neatly at the foot of her bed, and buried her head more deeply into the the pillow.
Hours later, the scene in her bedroom was quite different. The covers lay in a tangled heap around her ankles, and she tossed and turned, muttering incoherently, a sheen of sweat covering her body. Finally she shot bolt upright, eyes dilated in terror, a silent scream on her lips.
Ginny blinked her eyes several times in an attempt to focus on her surroundings. She rubbed her arms up and down to fight off the chill that had crept over her body. Glancing at her watch, she saw it was only two. Resigning herself to another sleepless night, she crept down the steps and made her way to the kitchen. She quickly prepared herself a pot of tea, wishing she could express her frustration by slamming her way through the process.
Slumping over the table, she let the exhaustion take her. Every night it was the same. Her nights were filled with images of Hagrid carrying a dead Harry, of Tonks succumbing to the Avada Kedavra whilst she stood by helplessly, of Fred's lifeless body lying on a table in the Great Hall.
She did not how much more she could endure, and she had no-one she could confide in. Everyone else was caught up in their own lives. The longer she sat there, the more tense she became. She caught herself several times about to give in and start pacing around the room. All of sudden, she knew what to do.
Going over to her mother's desk, she pulled out a piece of parchment and swiftly penned a note to her parents. Attaching it prominently to a cupboard in the kitchen, she rinsed out her cup and quietly let herself out the back door. She ran lightly to the the apparition point and disappeared with nary a sound.
xxxx
A slight noise brought Harry to instant awareness, wand at the ready. The day with Ginny had done him a world of good. He knew he still had a long way to go before he was back in top form, but he no longer felt like the living dead. He crept noiselessly towards his bedroom door, when it started to open slowly. Freezing, he aimed his wand at the shadow standing in the doorway.
"Identify yourself," he hissed threateningly.
"Harry, it's me, Ginny," came the swift reply, her voice a bit unsteady.
Harry let his wand fall back to his side, before raising it again. "What did Padfoot keep on the third floor?"
"A hippogriff, you prat. Are you going to keep me at wand-point for the rest of the night?" she asked irritably.
Harry lowered his wand once again and regarded her in puzzlement. "It's the middle of the bloody night!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here? Won't your parents worry?"
"I had a nightmare, and I couldn't sleep," she whispered disconsolately. "I left a note for Mum. She'll find it in the morning. I told her I was running errands. She won't know when I left."
Harry took her hand and led her over to the bed. Seating himself at the foot of the bed, leaving the head to Ginny, he made himself comfortable. He was quite experienced with nightmares.
xxxx
The bright sun streaming into his room woke him from a sound sleep. He couldn't remember when he'd last slept this well. At first he was a bit disoriented, but then he noticed the arm slung across his chest, and the warm body snuggled against his side, and the events of the night came rushing back.
Easing himself away from the sleeping girl, he made his way out of the room. Half an hour later, he was in the kitchen frying up breakfast, when a sleep tousled figure appeared.
"Thank you, Harry," she murmured softly. "I've never been able to get back to sleep after I've had one of my nightmares. I actually feel human this morning."
A brief smile flitted across Harry's face, the first in a very long time. "I thought you might want a bite to eat. Breakfast is almost ready."
It took the entire meal for her to persuade him to at least hear Kingsley out. Harry was still dragging his feet as they entered the elevator at the Ministry.
"Remind me again why I'm doing this," he whinged.
"Because you like Kingsley, and he's always treated you fairly," snapped Ginny. "You don't have to agree to anything. I'm simply asking you to listen," she soothed.
"He did tell you where I live," accused Harry in return. "That wasn't exactly fair."
"Oh, shut it, you. Are you saying my coming was a bad thing?" she quipped.
Harry didn't know quite what to say to that. True, he was feeling better, and his flat no longer resembled a trash heap, but now she was there, and he was going to have to deal with her. He wasn't certain how he felt about that.
xxxx
Kingsley raised his head and bade his secretary to enter. She poked her around the door and announced, "Miss Weasley and Harry Potter to see you, sir." She looked a bit stunned.
"Send them right in, please." At last. He was beginning to lose hope. If Harry wasn't willing to take on this assignment, he truly feared for the future of the Wizarding world.
As they entered his office, Kingsley stood and walked around the desk to greet them. He shook Harry's hand vigorously and greeted Ginny with a short bow. "I'm so glad you were able to come," he greeted them.
He was a bit disconcerted at Harry's less than enthusiastic response but brushed it aside as inconsequential.
"I won't waste your time. I'm certain you have plenty of demands on your time." He motioned for them to sit.
As soon as they were seated, he resumed speaking. "I have been researching the war with Voldemort for the last several months and have come across some intriguing information. It appears that, in an attempt to recapture Sirius Black," he looked apologetically at Harry, "Minister Fudge passed a law offering a reward of 1000 galleons to anyone who turned in Azkaban escapees, dead or alive."
He took a deep breath before continuing, everything seemed to hinge on Harry's reaction to the next part of his proposition. "As I'm sure you are aware, quite of few of the missing Death Eaters are Azkaban escapees. They have been plaguing both the Wizarding and Muggle communities, leaving a trail of death and destruction behind them."
Harry glared at Ginny meaningfully. Fortunately, Kingsley was too intent on fiddling with his quill to notice. This was exactly the type of discussion Harry had been hoping to avoid.
"I am currently lacking the manpower to track these criminals down. The war depleted our Auror force and, while we are rushing new recruits through the program as quickly as we can, we are still critically low."
He looked up at Harry hopefully. "I was hoping you would be willing to track them down and bring them in. Perhaps you could contact some of your friends, and you could work together. You and Ron and Hermione did such an excellent job of hunting down the," his voice dropped, "Horcruxes, I'm sure this would be quite easy compared to that." He sat there waiting expectantly.
Harry twisted a loose thread on the side of his cuff nervously. He didn't want to let Kingsley down, but he was not the least bit interested in working with the Ministry. He had bad memories of his various forays there and had no desire to repeat them. He was tired. Tired of being the one everyone turned to, tired of hunting down evil, tired of sacrificing his life and his happiness to please others. He glanced surreptitiously at Ginny, trying to get a read on her thoughts.
Finally, he cleared his throat and spoke. "Minister, erm, Kingsley, I, erm, I can't. I simply can't. Ron and Hermione are not even in the country, and I have no way of communicating with them. I'm not certain as to when they plan to return. I haven't been in contact with anyone else from Hogwarts, but most everyone has plans. I have plans." Although that wasn't strictly true. He would have plans, if he knew what he wanted. He could have plans, given some time.
Ginny spoke up. "Minister, Kingsley, Harry really can't. He hasn't been well, and it will take him a long time to recover." Kingsley's expression grew anxious. "Nothing serious," she hastened to reassure him, "but Harry will be unavailable for quite some time. It's likely he will be out of the country for a large part of that time."
Harry tried not to look too surprised. What in Merlin's name was she talking about? He adopted a solemn expression. "Ginny's right. I've been invited to visit friends on the continent, and I've already begun making travel arrangements. I'm not certain when I'll be back. I promise you, though, that if the Death Eaters are still at large upon my return, I will reconsider taking on the task of hunting them down and bringing them in."
Kingsley was unable to hide his disappointment. He now had a difficult decision to make. He could either let the Death Eaters move freely about, or he could spread his forces as thinly as possible in the hopes of running some of them to ground. Neither option was particularly palatable.
With as much grace as possible, he politely thanked Harry for his time and wished him well on his trip. He expressed the hope that he would recover quickly and hinted that a hasty return would be very much appreciated.
xxxx
Ginny was impressed. Harry managed not to take her task until they were safely back in his flat. Then he threw up silencing charms and turned on her.
"What the devil was that all about?" he exclaimed. "I'm not well! I'm going to be out of the country while I recuperate! I'll contact him when I get back!" He started pacing around the room in frustration.
Ginny seated herself calmly on the couch and regarded him thoughtfully. "Well, did you want to say yes to him? It certainly didn't sound like you did. I simply gave you an excuse. You could thank me," she added primly.
Harry stopped and stared at her in complete disbelief. He ought to thank her? Was she completely daft? She'd just made him out to sound like some sort of invalid. And she wanted him to be grateful? Bonkers. Absolutely bonkers. Maybe it was some sort of female thing. That must be it. There could be no other explanation.
"Think about it, Harry," she urged. "Truthfully, you haven't been well. And even though you're doing better today, that's really not saying much."
Harry winced at the truth of her words. He didn't even want to admit to himself how poorly he had been doing. He nodded for her to continue. He ought to at least hear her out.
"This gives you a brilliant excuse. You don't even have to stay in England any longer. Just imagine, you can travel all over the continent. Didn't you tell me that was something you've always dreamed of doing?" she reminded him, a tinge of excitement in her voice.
"Well, yes, I did say that once," he admitted. The more he thought about the idea, the more intriguing it became.
"And besides," Ginny's voice broke into his musings. "If you did choose to hunt down the Death Eaters, no one would have to know it was you. They'd think you were off traveling, and no one would associate you with the prisoners appearing in the lobby of the Ministry."
Harry narrowed his eyes at her. When had he ever indicated he wanted to hunt down Death Eaters? Who had said anything about portkeying prisoners into the lobby? Blasted woman was reading his mind again. Next thing she'd be suggesting that she join him. He'd be damned if he ever let that happen. His glare grew fiercer. If, and that was a big if, he ever decided to do a hair-brained thing like that, he would do it alone. He was never again going to be responsible for someone he loved getting injured or, even worse, killed. If he couldn't keep his friends safe, then life was certainly not worth living.
His only response was a grunt. After several more attempts to get a response out of him, Ginny finally gave up and returned to the Burrow, thoroughly disenchanted with Harry. He was much too stubborn, for his own good.
xxxx
Later that night Harry was once again disturbed by a late night visitor. This time, however, she didn't catch him asleep. His own nightmares had left him panting in a tangle of sheets. He almost welcomed her calming presence. It meant the world to him to know he was no longer alone.
Once again, he awoke in the morning to find her cuddled into his side, and it took a great effort not to stroke her hair and press a kiss onto her lips. She wasn't his girlfriend any longer. He had done a bang-up job of mucking that up. He had no right to expect that she was still waiting for him.
He was staring out of the window at the park, when she finally appeared, plaiting her hair as she walked into the room. He was surprised when she sat down next to him on the couch and gently took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers. It felt so right. He missed this connection with her. The freedom to touch someone. To have someone touch him. He was quite unused to it, but treasured it all the same.
"Harry, what are you thinking?" she inquired softly.
Harry debated with himself. Should he tell her the truth, or put her off? After a moment of silence, he replied. "I was thinking about us. About how I managed to royally muck things up between us." He glanced at her out the corner of his eye, trying to gauge her reaction before continuing. She had her face turned away, so he decided to lay it all on the table. She had come to find him, after all. "It's a bit difficult waking up with you next to me in the morning. It tempts me to take liberties I ought not to be taking."
"What are you saying, Harry? Are you saying you still fancy me? That you wish you hadn't ended our relationship? Is that what you're saying?" Ginny asked quietly, turning to face him, hope shining in her eyes.
"Yes, yes, that's it. I'm sorry for breaking up with you, for pushing you away." He gulped. "Ginny, would you be my girlfriend again?"
A brilliant smile lit up her face. She threw herself into his arms, then pulled away abruptly. "Harry," she warned, "I'd love to be your girlfriend, but there will be no leaving me behind this time around, agreed?"
Harry avoided her eyes, certain she'd read his mind again. How was it she always knew what he was thinking and planning? He needed her. That much was clear. He took a deep breath. He would simply have to train her. There was no other answer. She was brilliant and very powerful. He would have to trust that she could take care of herself. He mentally kicked himself. He knew she could take of herself, he was simply afraid to let her.
He turned back and gently enfolded her in his arms. "Agreed," he murmured as his lips found hers, and Harry knew he was home.