Title: At A Loss (Casey)
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em
Chapter: 2/9
Rating: N/C 17
Pairings: Chuck/Casey; Some Bryce/Sara; Morgan/Alex; Ellie/Devon
Warnings: Language, Smut, Angst
Spoilers: All of Chuck up through series finale, somewhat...
Summary: Something is going on with Chuck and Casey and Sarah has no idea what is wrong...
Casey was at a complete loss. He had no idea what to do. He never dreamed that this would hurt so damn bad. He's had his fair share of heartbreak, he made it through Kathleen and Ilsa. He made it through multiple betrayals from mentors. This however was so much worse.
They had an agreement. It was just supposed to be sex, a release. The longer it went on however, the harder he fell for the kid. Dammit. He knew this would happen, but once he fell for him he couldn't stop it. It didn't matter if it didn't mean the same thing to Chuck, Casey wouldn't be the one to stop it. He was pretty sure it was the only thing that was stopping him from loosing it completely, so when Chuck told him that they shouldn't do this anymore it broke him. He managed to give him a half smile and an "Ok Chuck," as he kept the tears from falling until Chuck walked out and shut the door. He knew this would eventually happen, he was just hoping for later rather than sooner. Shit. He needed to pull himself together, Chuck could never know he broke his heart. The kid would never forgive himself and it wasn't his fault. It was Casey's, he did this to himself and he knew it. Casey knew Chuck could never feel that way about him but the kid was so alluring, he just drew people in, and being that intimate with him made Casey fall for him hard and fast. Fuck this hurt. He was pretty sure that this hurt a hell of a lot worse than watching Chuck get dressed and leave when he just wanted him to stay, that it hurt a hell of a lot more than constantly reminding himself that it was just sex, nothing more. Now all he could do was lie in his bed, a bed that still smelled like Chuck, and cry himself senseless while Walker tried to figure out what the hell was wrong.
Oh well, did it really matter if it what was best for Chuck? Whatever made Chuck happy. That's all he really wanted. It's not like he could ever give him a normal life. Casey figures Chuck broke off their arrangement because he seemed pretty taken with that doctor friend of Devon's. Shawn was another one of those California Ken doll, pretty boy types. He was perfect for Chuck. He saves lives, he doesn't take them like Casey. He's also a lot closer to Chuck's age. Plus he had Chuck smiling like Casey hadn't witnessed in months. He couldn't get Chuck to smile like that, he realized with a heavy heart. Casey knew this was a good thing for Chuck, as long as Chuck was happy he could deal with the hurt and jealousy right? He'd figure something out, he had too. He would have to shut his emotions down again, but would that mean loosing Chuck as a friend too? He wasn't sure he could handle loosing Chuck completely. If he went back to how he used to be would it break his already fragile friendship with Chuck? He hoped not, he had to figure out something. Perhaps he would talk to Walker. She would understand right? Fuck it's been over three hours since Chuck unknowingly broke his heart and he still had no clue how to pull himself together, how to live without Chuck. Casey was still at a complete loss.