Chapter two

Chapter two! I suppose you've survived Chapter One….. Ahhh, but this little piece of hell is just beginning. It will be a monstrosity by the time I'm done with it.

--Bella's Bedroom—

Bella and Edward their way up the stairs.
"Ugh!" Edward steamed his usual frustrated quiet scream.

They opened the door to her room, and Edward threw himself on to Bella's bed. He let out a frustrated and exasperated groan.

"What?" Bella stupidly asked no realizing that her boyfriend and fiancée could read the minds of those who had them. All except the zombies and her.

"Them! I can hear them from up here! My god they're going at it!"
He was clearly disgusted by the business the old men were going at beneath him.
He rolled on the bed, shifting his position with frustration.

"Oh. That. ….I forgot about that."

"Of course you did. But can't you hear it?!" Their moans were causing his ears to bleed.

Many things didn't dawn on Bella as quickly as they should have since her last accident. Cars were becoming a problem for Bella's brain's cells. Any more traumas to her brain might kill her, or send her into severe mental impairment-which would be far worse then she is now.

Edward took off his shoe and threw it at her and her stupidity. Lately he found himself doing this more and more.
It bounced off her head and she let out a quick "Owww!" before she threw it back at him, missing and breaking the window.

"Whoopsie!" she giggled.

"You, my dear are becoming the bane of my existence." He gruffed. It was indeed, the truth. It saddened him that they were no longer the soul mates that they once had been so many months ago.

"Whatevs" another ignorant Bella reply.

"Hey, did you ever call back Mike Newton?"

Edward was trying desperately to block the mental images of the old farts going at it, out of his brain through small talk.

Mike Newton was stalking Bella a lot lately. Via phone was the usual but he would often secretly take her dirty underwear out of her hamper, and trash when she wasn't home as well. Mike Newton was a pervert. He would also call, ask if she wanted to go out or to a movie, and Bella would always reply with the same stupid "Of course! I love Mike. Mike is fun!" Never mind that she was on the phone with 'Mike'.
But none the less, Edward was usually glad for the times when Mike would take Bella off his hands. It was usually only 2 hours or so, but their relationship seemed less like babysitting that way-at least at Edwards's end of it.

"Naw, his mum asked me to stop calling him" "She said I have been making him too obsessive or something… What's obsessive mean again?"
Mrs. Newton absolutely despised the way her son acted around Bella. She was disgusted by the very way in which Mike carried himself when just talking about her (which he often did, which he almost always did in his every waking hour). He felt like the high priest to a king or something when talking about his dear, Bella. But he was really a dog. A dog and a slave to her well being.

Bella is the complete opposite of bane in the case of Mile.
She is becoming his god, and Mike worships the very ground she walks on, despite the fact that she could very well drain him of his blood and kill him in a second.

Edward let out another frustrated groan.

"Damnit!"

"What?"

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

Images of wrinkly half zombie sex littered Edwards mind.
He couldn't take it anymore. Edward jumped out the broken window to the tree outside her window.

"Banana cake?" Bella yelled from the second story window.

Bella had pulled a cupcake out of her unusually tiny ass and offered it to him from her window.

It was her only gift as a vampire. She had no super strength, eyesight or hearing, yet she could pull cakes and pastries out of her ass. A lovely gift for all, indeed. She was great to have at picnics. Despite that they didn't usually eat food; the Cullen's did enjoy a nice ass cake from time to time.

"NO GODDAMNIT! SHOVE IT, BELLA!" exasperated, started to bash his head into the tree.
Bella shoved it back up her butt.

"Up mine!" Bella giggled.

As Edward was smashing his head against the tree's trunk, he was also trying to muffle the sounds of Charlie and Harry groaning and excited squeals.

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID WRETCH!!"

"Edward! I love you!" She shouted after him.

She really was becoming the bane of his existence. Oh, when would this nightmare end?
As Edward bashed his head, he heard something. Suddenly Edward recongized the unmistable sound.
It was the same sound that haunted him in his nightmares. He turned around and screamed.

--end—

Horrendous, right? Well, it doesn't make much sense, but that's what makes it fun! I did enjoy writing it I guess... Eh. Just read chapter 3.
Suggestions? Comments? (please review, I would really appreciate your opinion-so go ahead and flame it if you wish, I'd rather flames than nothing at all, I would just really like some sort of feedback.)