Overlord
xxx
Everything was dark and quiet... no, not quiet. He could hear something, a vague muttering, surrounding him. He slowly opened his eyes, staring directly ahead.
Crimson eyes stared back.
"GWAAH!"
"Get out of his face Flonne..."
"Ah... Sorry... But I was checking to see if he'd healed properly."
"Bah... I can't see why you would want him. Only a few seconds of pain, and he passed out."
Naruto's eyes widened... he KNEW that voice! His gaze snapped to where the voice came from... and he nearly fell over at the sight of a tiny, fist-sized fox kitling with beady, red eyes.
"Gah... so... so... so CUTE!"
"What? No! Not again! First that Fallen Angel, and now this!? Laharl... sama... Could you not have made my new body more... Imposing?"
Laharl shrugged as Naruto goggled over Kyuubi, the cute, single-tailed ball of fluff.
"Well... I suppose I could have... but I didn't feel like it. Besides, as you grow more powerful, your body will grow and become more impressive... a bit of incentive to increase your power levels, hmm?"
"... Bastard."
"Naturally. I am a Makai Overlord... you should have been more detailed in our bargain if you didn't wish to regret it."
"..."
"Hahaha! You see? You have noone to blame but yourself. Your fears of oblivion made you far too easy to outsmart."
Kyuubi didn't even bother to answer, instead turning to the wall and curling into a small ball of fluff while Laharl smirked at him. It was too much. He slumped back down into his bed.
"Ah! Laharl-san, he's passed out again!"
"Fix him, love-freak."
"Oh? Right! HEAL!"
Naruto's eyes snapped back open as the soft green light sank into him. He glanced around his room... yep, still there. Tiny fuzz-ball, wierd blonde, and the guy with the creepy cape.
"You're still here... why?"
Laharl arched an eyebrow.
"Oh? Didn't you hear when I was negotiating with your inner demon? I had considered preparing a long speech to sway you, but what would be the point? It's simple fact... the humans in this village despise you. They simply will not allow you to gain power... the little you can gain will have to be snatched in small bits and pieces. I've watched you for the last twenty four hours... so I know it's true. I would dare say... the people in charge of selecting who you're teamed with placed you on your current squad specifically because your sensei would only give you the barest minimum of training, and that only when absolutely neccessary. I however, have found myself in need of a student... someone to train. With Kyuubi's power locked within you, and with his... distruptive influence removed, you fit the bill perfectly."
Flonne blinked.
"Ah... Laharl-san? I thought you said you weren't going to give a long speech?"
Laharl slammed his fist into the top of her head, sending her directly to the ground.
"Don't contradict me. Now then, will you accept? Or should I take my offer elsewhere, and leave you to your own devices?"
Naruto glanced down to the dazed Flonne, then to the ball of fluff that had apparently drifted off into a nap, and then slowly his gaze drifted off to the calendar, still hanging on the wall, still counting the days until...
"You... what do you get out of this? I'm not stupid enough to believe that you're only here to help me... You're a demon."
Rather than being offended, Laharl's smirk merely grew broader.
"Exactly! But the thing is, for once I'm being brutally honest. You see, I'm not just any demon... I'm a Makai Overlord. Surprisingly, once the populace stops trying to rebel against you, the job is rather dull... I'm only going to train you as a form of entertainment, to see if you actually can make it as my successor... Don't get me wrong though. Should you accept, I intend to train you to the best of my ability... though you may find the training grueling. Torturous even."
There was a glint in Laharl's eyes, as though he was looking forward to showing him just how 'torturous' his training could be. Even so... Naruto's eyes strayed once more to the calendar. That deathtrap of an exam was still only a couple of months away... could he learn enough to keep himself alive on his own? All he had on his side was a single clone technique... and he could stick to trees. He could replace himself with a log, and he could henge into a naked girl. He had to face it... this opportunity was a godsend, despite who it came from. His eyes flickered into a stony resolve, and he nodded curtly.
"You agree...? Excellent. Now for the preparations... but before we begin, you must understand that I am not training you as a ninja... I am training you as my successor! That involves far more than just physical abilities... you'll find out soon enough. For the moment... To undertake my training, you'll need to be far better in tune with the demonic energies flowing through you."
He prodded Flonne with his foot, and she was instantly up and alert again.
"That seal would make things difficult... but I can modify it easily. Change one little mark, and rather than dividing the energies and allowing a small amount to spurt through now and again, it will forcefully merge the two energies, changing your body here and there as necessary to accomodate the new power. If Kyuubi had still been within you, your mind would have been completely erased, leaving an opening for him to inhabit... but his lifespan would have remained the same. Now... It will be... the most painful experience you could possibly imagine. The very cells of your body will be tearing themselves to shreds, reforming themselves, and then tearing themselves apart again. But don't worry... Flonne here is the best healer in my entire Makai... and she'll be on hand to make sure the pain doesn't kill you or drive you mad. Now lie back down and hold still."
Naruto was sweating heavily as Kyuubi-chan turned around and began watching intently.
"Ah... Um... Er... I think... I've changed my mind..."
"Too late!"
xxx
Naruto's world was pain. After his change of heart was brutally and immediately denied, he had leapt for the window, but Laharl's creepy cape had caught him around the ankle and slammed him into the floor before dropping him in his bed. The impact stunned him momentarily, leaving an opening for Laharl to surround his hand with the purple energy again and slam it directly onto the seal, which flared bright red as he poured out massive waves of power to affect the seal.
Nearby Shinobi would narrow their eyes at the brief wave of anxiety and nervousness that suddenly rushed over them, but within the hour they'd all completely forgotten about it, or decided to ignore it. After all, there had been no apparent attack, and they hadn't sensed any chakra, so it probably wasn't important, right? Just a symptom of stress and a too-large workload.
Meanwhile, Naruto was thrashing in agony. He opened his mouth to scream, but Laharl, acting quickly, stuffed a wadded up cloth into his open mouth, muffling his cries of pain. After the first few minutes, he began to wonder if it would be easier to just die and get it over with... But every time his thrashes would weaken, or his eyes would begin to glaze, Flonne's green magic would seep into his body and return him to his agony.
A long time later, an eternity of pain compressed into a few short hours, his spasms slowed... lessened... and he drifted off into an exhausted slumber. Laharl nodded and scribbled something onto a scrap of paper, and Flonne cast a few spells to scan and see if there had been any complications that needed to be fixed... Kyuubi-chan just looked dissappointed that the torture hadn't lasted longer.
"Ah... Laharl-san? Was this... really neccessary?"
Laharl blinked at Flonne's unexpected question, then shrugged.
"Not really, but it makes things easier... for me. Anyway, have Etna's Prinnies finished? This... shabby apartment doesn't fit my needs at all, and Naruto-kun needs to learn the privileges of his new rank."
"Oh... I think they're done. Or they should be... Etna bought the plot of land this morning, just inside the village walls, but somewhat secluded, and the Prinnies are hard workers, so..."
Laharl shrugged and pinned his hastily scribbled note on the wall, directly in front of the door where it couldn't possibly be missed.
"Take him there then."
"Ah? What? Carry him?"
"What did you expect... you are the servant, remember?"
"... Laharl-san is so mean..."
Despite her protests, Flonne easily lifted Naruto and stretched out her wings, flapping carefully through the darkness over Konoha. Laharl turned to Kyuubi-chan.
"So... how long do you intend to remain here?"
"Hmph... In my weakened state? I don't intend to stick around this village, or even this country for very long. The humans here make a habit of catching every fox they see anywhere near their village, and cutting them into little pieces. Apparently they view it as vengeance of a sort, for when I attacked their village. Normally I would be amused at the human foolishness, but in my current state... After I've left this country, I'll gather my strength and open a small gate to this world's Makai... As far as I can tell, the inhabitants are much weaker than normal there... a perfect place for me to raise my strength a little. Once I've got a decent amount of power back... I'm not sure. Things could become... problematic, if certain of my acquaintances get wind of my reincarnation. Some of them were troublesome to deal with even before I'd come to this world... Thinking of facing them now... Heh. I haven't felt fear for millenia... but that thought makes cold chills run down my spine. I think... I shall take a new name, and not let anyone realize that I am a reincarnation rather than a first incarnation... perhaps I'll even seal away..."
Kyuubi-chan fell silent for a while, as Laharl glanced out the window, looking at the stars.
"A good plan, but I would make a few failsafes as well... There was an incident I was involved in, a few centuries ago... A powerful Overlord, named Zenon had a similar problem, only her Makai was filled with demons that were extremely stubborn, and were in an almost constant state of rebellion. She got sick of the constant battle, and left to a faraway human world to reincarnate herself and lock away her memories... Unfortunately, one of her more stubborn enemies followed her and took advantage of the situation. Long story short, things turned into a complete mess that ended up being mostly fixed by the intervention of an extremely young, but very powerful demon... one who had been raised as, and honestly believed himself to be a human. Things came to a head when they faced off against the usurper, who had even stolen her previous name, 'Zenon', and they were put into dire enough and familiar enough straits that her sealed up memories shattered through the mental barrier long enough to completely destroy him... and things seemed to be fine. But only a few, short years later, the weakened mental barrier completely broke, and she slipped into madness... her sealed memories warring with her new persona. People around her noticed she was acting strangely, but thought nothing of it... after all, she had just become pregnant with her husband's first child... the demon who believed himself human... mood swings and odd behavior were to be expected, natural even.
Then... people began dissappearing. Just one or two, here and there. One or two people, here and there, who'd strayed out past the town fields for whatever reason. A couple at one point, who'd gone into a forest to be alone. Their bodies would turn up, days after they'd dissappeared, maimed and mutilated to the point where they were barely recognizable. At first, the humans thought it was some rabid beast, and sent hunters to track it... when the hunters died, they decided it must be a poweful demon, left over from the false Zenon fiasco, and sent the human-demon, Adell, who had become something of a hero, to hunt it down. He spent weeks searching... until...
His adoptive brother, who claimed himself as the now mad woman's servant as his own preference, began to put the clues together. She was always missing when the dissappearances occured, and when she returned, little things would be out of place. Her hair would be mussed up, or there would be a small streak of blood on her clothes or on her hands... odd in itself, as when she fought, she used a distance weapon. He confronted her, just as Adell came back from his failed hunt. He was back just in time to watch, as his beloved wife brutally maimed and murdered his adoptive brother.
He immediately sent people... mercenaries he'd hired years ago and kept in touch with... to chase her down, and capture her. I myself went with them, along with two of my own vassals, and we brought her back in chains. The humans were in a state of shock... they had known and liked Zenon's reincarnation, this was completely unexpected to them. They locked her away, and hired the best mental healers money could afford for her... but nothing worked. Eventually, they came to the sad conclusion that, like a mad dog, she had to be put down. After a lengthy argument, Adell broke down and agreed... with two stipulations. The first, that they would wait a few months, for her child to be born, and to see if she'd snap out of it on her own.
The second... was that he be the one to end her life.
I attended the execution ceremony... it was one of the saddest events I have ever experienced. She had given birth only hours before, and was still pale and exhausted from the experience, but it didn't stop her from frothing lightly at the mouth and making occasional weak lunges at the people around her. The only one she wouldn't try to attack was Adell, and he knew it, and it only made it harder for him. To his credit, he didn't break down until after he'd done what was necessary... and nobody begrudged him his tears. He stuck around for fifteen years after that... long enough to make sure his baby daughter could take care of herself, using both her fists and the weapons her mother had used, and then..."
Laharl paused.
"I'm not actually sure what happened then... he simply disappeared. Maybe he left, because he couldn't make himself stay any longer... maybe he joined his wife in death. I don't know... and I was never told. I'm also not sure why I've told you all this... I'm not usually so long-winded, forgive me."
He turned towards Kyuubi-chan... who'd curled up into a ball and begun to snore. His eye began twitching as a vessel popped out on his forehead.
"Baaakkaaaaaa! Do you have any idea just how rude it is to fall asleep while someone's telling a story. Feh. Just for that, I'm leaving you there, and you can only hope you're gone by the time Naruto's ninja-sensei comes around to find out why his student didn't show up tomorrow morning."
Laharl turned and hopped out the still-open window, his cape forming itself into wings as he floated away. Once he had been gone for several minutes, Kyuubi-chan cracked an eye open and then sat up.
"... I suppose his story had a point. I'll have to think more about this before I leave for a Makai. The chances of such an occurence as he described are low, but still well within the realms of possibility. Perhaps a change of plan is in order... but this is no place to sit and think. I may be more than a match for some of the weaker humans, but the more powerful ones could eradicate me easily... for now."
xxx
Kakashi flipped a page in his orange book and glanced down from his perch to the bridge where his team was waiting for him. Then he glanced at his watch. This was odd... a minute left until six, the time he'd left orders for them all to be here. Naruto should be here any second, and then he could go and take a walk around town for a few hours and show up just before their patience gave out and they left, as usual. The odd thing was, Naruto was usually here half an hour before the stated time... maybe he'd slept in? He did do that now and again... but even so, he was always here within a few seconds of being 'late'.
He glanced down the path... no sign of the cloud of kicked-up dust or panicked birds that would signal Naruto's panicked rush to the Team 7 meeting place. Maybe he was sick? Kakashi's eye closed in thought... he could not once recall a time where Naruto had caught anything worse off than a mild case of the sniffles. His inhabitant had seen to that... perhaps he'd stayed up all night training? He'd done that in Wave, but Kakashi found it unlikely that anyone in Konoha would be willing to explain how to perform a technique to the bearer of Kyuubi... it was possible though, that he'd managed to get his hands on a scroll. Every so often, someone would throw a scroll of techniques away, if they were low-level or unimportant enough to take the safer route of burning them. It was also possible that Naruto had bought a scroll from someone of his generation, or from a newcomer to the village.
He set his book back into the shuriken pouch and poofed away in a swirl of leaves. If Naruto had come into possession of a scroll, then it was his duty as Naruto's sensei to take a look at it, and confiscate it should he decide it was beyond his current abilities... and he doubted that the idiot had picked up something he was actually capable of. He kept trying to match himself up to Sasuke, ignoring the fact that Sasuke was from a privileged clan, and that he couldn't have matched him even before he'd awakened his Sharingan.
The dead-last was just going to hurt himself.
A swirl of leaves, and he was in the hallway next to Naruto's apartment. He lifted his hand to knock, but paused and listened for any activity inside. Nothing. He tapped gently on the door... no reply. Sleeping in? He knocked harder, then sighed as he remained unanswered.
"Ah... Naruto? Are you in there? I'm coming in... if you're changing or something, let me know."
Still no answer. Kakashi shrugged, and reached down to unlock the door... and it opened easily. Now his visible eye narrowed in suspicion. As unliked as he was, Naruto was a powerful asset to their village, with the Kyuubi sealed inside of him. If he could learn to consciously control the kind of power he'd displayed in Wave, he could become a force beyond reckoning. That was the main reason he had decided to slack off on training him... if he became frustrated enough, he would turn once again to that power... it was only a matter of time. But if someone had kidnapped Naruto, while almost nobody would really be upset at first, there could be disastrous consequences if an enemy got their hands on Kyuubi's power.
He threw the door open, and then blinked as he noted the scrap of paper pinned to the wall. He tore it off and scanned it, relaxing midway through, with relief flooding off of him in waves as he read the terrible handwriting on the note, instantly recognizable as Naruto's.
"Oh... changing apartments... I feel kinda dumb. Nobody can learn of this. Ah... he left an adress. Well I suppose that he is earning enough for a better apartment now. Whatever... he could have had the decency to let me know beforehand though..."
He shrugged and left, pocketing the note. He had several hours of reading before he had to meet up with his little genins and train Sasuke... Sakura really didn't register in his mind at all, as he considered her as little more than a cheerleader to spur Sasuke on.
xxx
Sasuke had begun twitching in horror... after the first hour, it had become apparent. The dobe had abandoned him. After he'd been assigned to the same team as one of his most rabid fangirls, he'd come to rely on the dobe to run interference for him... to distract the evil pink haired witch that simply would not leave him alone. Whether he realized it or not, the dobe tended to show up at exactly the right time to deflect the majority of her attention.
Today... he had simply never shown. That dobe... if he was ill, he had better be in agonizing pain, or Sasuke was going to kill him. Sakura cuddled into his side, grinning as she mistook his shudder of distaste for one of repressed desire. It wasn't that he didn't like girls... he just preferred them a little more well-developed. The only thing Sakura had going for her was an unnatural hair-color... one that was apparently passed down through the dominant genes. Before he had learned that interesting tidbit, he'd actually considered cutting some sort of deal with her... a one night stand, sometime in the future, in exchange for leaving him alone unless she concieved. However, the mere thought of pink-haired Uchiha girls... or worse, pink-haired Uchiha boys, convinced him to banish the idea to the depths of oblivion. However, the more he snubbed her, the tighter she held to him, desperately deluding herself into the idea that Sasuke was just playing hard to get.
He glanced around feverishly as Sakura's arms looped around his waist, hoping against hope that the dobe would show up and do something stupid, prompting a beatdown from the emotional girl. Instead, Kakashi showed up... well, beggars can't be choosers.
"Kakashi-sensei."
He spoke loud and clear, keeping his face in the careful expressionless mask that translated to him wanting to break down crying in gratitude for someone finally showing up to rescue him from his torment. Sakura meeped and sprang away from him, flushing as heavily as if they'd been caught in the middle of some raunchy action. Had things actually progressed that far... Sasuke may have just taken after certain wild animals caught in traps, and gnawed off his own arm to escape.
"Yo."
Sasuke's eye twitched at the casual way he said that, and then leaned up against a railing to continue reading his book.
"Where's the dobe, Kakashi-sensei? It isn't like him to be so late."
"Ah? Apparently, he's decided to move out of his apartment. I have his new adress here... somewhere..."
Sasuke's eyes widened slightly, and Sakura flat out gaped in shock as Kakashi removed things from his pockets... a handful of shuriken, and scraps of jagged metal that Sasuke recognized as caltrops, as well as a scroll to begin with, but then things got odd. A rubber chicken? Why would he be carrying something like that? Or a half-eaten lollipop, or a green jumpsuit? Or a... a tiny, sequined thong...
Sasuke's brain shut down, and Sakura flushed heavily. By the time Sasuke was capable of thought again, Kakashi was holding a crumpled sheet of paper and stuffing his things back into his pockets. Sasuke flinched at the flash of sequins. He could have lived a long, content life without seeing... that.
"Here it is... I take it you'd rather go take a look than do today's mission? I suppose you've earned a day off... and I'm rather curious about this address. Follow me."
After a few minutes of walking, Sasuke had to admit that he was mildly curious as well... this was the district where most of the training grounds were located. As far as he understood, that would drop the real estate prices somewhat, but would anyone build an apartment complex there... really? He would think that the possibility of a wayward jutsu destroying the building would make housing in the area unfeasible at the least... but as they continued walking, they came to a wooded area with targets hung on the trees for shuriken practice, and then a bit further they all stopped, leaving a small area of unused forest.
And a path leading to the center.
Kakashi glanced at the bit of paper again, then shrugged and started down the small path, his two Genin trailing behind him. The walk was short, but oddly enough, the woods seemed to turn spooky the second they started down the path. The sun was still shining overhead, but it seemed... dimmed somehow. The trees were darker, many seemed like they were dying, and they were filled with the staring eyes of crows. Every so often, Sasuke or Sakura would get the feeling that someone was staring at them, but when they whirled to look, noone was there. Kakashi got this feeling every so often as well, but ignored it. He felt no serious chakra signatures, so while the effect was somewhat disturbing, there was no real danger.
They turned a small corner, and the entire team took a moment to stare at the building that was revealed. It was much larger than they'd expected, and yet... It was in a state of obvious disrepair, the wood aged and gnarled, shingles falling off, and some of the windows were broken, covered with raggedy curtains. Two... creatures... carved out of stone stood beside the front door, giving the eerie feeling that they were guarding it from unwelcome guests. As Kakashi knocked at the door, Sasuke stepped closer to one, examining it. He'd never seen anything like it... it was like a cross between a large dog, cat, and bird, standing on its hind legs, claws bared. He locked eyes with it.
The stone eye swiveled to stare right back at him.
Sasuke let loose a strangled gasp as he stumbled backwards, drawing Sakura's attention before he could mask his shock.
"Sasuke-kun? Is something wrong?"
Sasuke stared at the statue... it was once again staring blankly forward. He stood up and slowly set his hand on it... cold stone... lifeless.
"It... it was nothing Sakura. I just thought... No, it was nothing."
Even so, as the door slowly creaked open, Sasuke's eyes were locked on the immobile statue... not noticing that its counterpart had turned its head to stare at him as he followed Kakashi and Sakura into the mansion.
Kakashi glanced curiously around the entryway. The walls and floor were made out of a very dark wood, varnished almost to a mirror coat, and a small, tarnished chandelier hung from the ceiling to give light. The interesting thing though, was the puppets. Four of them, crafted out of wood and straw with matching motley clothes, suited for a jester at a costume party. Two black buttons were placed as eyes, and the mouth was a stitched line. He shrugged, putting it up to an eccentric owner... but Sakura couldn't help but take a closer look at the tacky decorations. They were hideous, badly made, with straw poking out here and there, and none of the limbs were quite the right length and... did that one just smirk at her?
She looked again... yes, it was definitely smirking, and... as she watched, it began to turn its head slowly, further and further, until it had made a full circle and its false eyes were staring at her again.
"A... A... AAAAHHH!"
Kakashi blinked as he turned to where Sakura had screamed and fallen flat on her back.
"Ah... Sakura-chan?"
"It moved! The puppet, it moved!"
Kakashi paused, then stepped closer to examine the puppet. After a moment he shook his head and stepped back.
"Sakura-chan... it's just a puppet. If someone was controlling it with chakra strings, then it might be dangerous enough to scream about... but I don't detect even the faintest hint of chakra in it. It can't have moved."
Sasuke glared at the puppet as Sakura goggled at Kakashi. Something very odd was going on in this house...
"But... but... I saw it... it moved..."
"Now now, Sakura-chan... it's only a puppet."
She shivered and darted over to cling to one of Sasuke's arms, prompting a small vein to spring up on his forehead.
"Ah... pardon me..."
Their gaze swung to the inner door, now framing a blonde girl with a red hair ribbon wearing something made out of white fabric over what appeared to be a red one-piece swimsuit.
"Laharl-san will see you now... You're expected. Follow me."
Kakashi shrugged and followed the girl, Sakura relenquishing her grip on Sasuke when he seemed unwilling to immediately follow their sensei. Sasuke continued to stare at the puppet for a moment, then turned and paced after the group.
Behind him, the puppet was waving at his back.
xxx
Kakashi was slightly confused... this house was a maze of random hallways and staircases, with strange decorations. One of those puppets from earlier here, a suit of armor unlike anything he'd ever seen there, paintings of places and creatures he'd never seen adorned the walls... he revised his opinion, the owner of this building was extremely eccentric. Also, the girl leading them around... he didn't know whether or not his Genin had noticed, but her irises were red. An uncommon color to say the least, the only person he knew with naturally red eyes was Kurenai, and that was a genetic trait. Even so, he felt no trace of the large chakra reserves that would indicate a trained ninja, but red eyes was something more worth noticing than letting your imagination run wild with you and deciding inanimate objects were moving on their own. Ridiculous nonsense.
Behind them, a suit of armor slowly raised its guantlet... and flipped Kakashi off.
After an indeterminable amount of time walking, the girl paused and tapped lightly at a door... how she could tell which one she wanted was beyond him. After a moment of waiting, she eased the door open and held it for them to walk through. Inside the room, a young man in a tattered cape was sitting down to a meal, but what caught Kakashi's attention was the furniture. The table was a circular slab of stone, being held up by four blue... things... resembling penguins somewhat, but with peg legs and bat wings. Another of the odd statues was set beside the man's chair, holding a silvery tray of drinks level.
The man calmly finished his plateful of food, ignoring them and the two younger member's growling stomachs. As he set down his silverware, he lifted a small crystal goblet and sipped at it as he turned to look at the ninjas.
"So... I assume you're here about Naruto? Flonne, fetch him. As for you, feel free to leave... I'll send him along to you once he's eaten."
"Um..." Kakashi broke in, "Actually, I've given them the day off to come look at Naruto's new... apartment."
Laharl blinked, then shrugged and took another sip of his drink.
"Whatever. You can wait here for him then."
A long silence fell as Laharl shoveled some more food on his plate and began eating again. A slow sweatdrop formed on Kakashi's head as all three stomachs began rumbling.
"Ah... You're not going to invite us to join you, are you."
It was a statement, not a question, but Laharl nodded in agreement anyway, prompting a twitching eye from Sasuke. Sakura however, voiced her complaints out loud.
"But... But why? We haven't eaten since dawn, and we had to stand for hours on a bridge, in the wind, and then we came here and didn't pass anyplace to eat on the way, and this place is creepy, and I'm hungry, and, AAARGH!"
She slumped for a moment, and then reverted to the most effective weapon she had against the male species... puppy dog eyes.
"Pleeeeeease? Just a plateful?"
"No."
"Buut?"
"The food here is only for people who live here. If you don't live here, you can't eat here. That simple."
Kakashi gave a glance at the food... it actually looked really good... really, really good. And as it happened, he hadn't eaten since his early breakfast either, and he was actually rather hungry. Maybe he could fight this Laharl guy for it... he mentally slapped himself. The Hokage would definitely not look kindly upon him beating up a civilian for their food, and he could tell by chakra levels that this was no ninja. He wasn't even at the level of a basic Academy student. That left one option...
"Maa... How much is rent here then? I've been considering changing apartments for a while... It could come in handy to live in the same place as one of my students."
Laharl blinked and turned to him.
"Fifteen thousand Ryo."
"A month? A bit pricy, but still reasonable."
"You misunderstand... my rate is Fifteen thousand a night."
The genin's eyes widened in shock, and Kakashi nearly fell over as he tried to compute that in his head.
"Fif... Thou... What?"
"Long story short, I recieved a ridiculously large sum in an inheritance, but could not claim it unless I was running some form of business... but I hate work. So I charge impossible rates, nobody stays, and I still get my money. Legally, the will never stated whether or not the business had to be successful."
"But... Then how can Naruto afford to live here if your rates are so unreasonable?"
"Ah... That... funny story actually. I was at this party, and some of us were playing poker in a side room. Thing is, one of the players left early and we needed a fourth. The other two guys went on and on about just who they should bring in, so eventually I just got fed up with it, stepped out of the building for a moment, and dragged the first person I saw back in. After explaining the game, he actually did rather well.. for a beginner. He won some hands, lost some, and won one particularly big hand that included free room and board here. Forever. I happened to be... somewhat inebriated when I offered that up for stakes. Even so, he's only one person, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to pay up. The few people that could afford to stay here often find the decor... distasteful, and decline to stay for more than a night at most."
Kakashi stared obviously at the penguin things, one of whom he could almost swear had just moved slightly.
"I can't imagine why."
Conversation, such as it was, ground to a halt as the Flonne girl opened up the door to the hallway again... and a haggard looking, bedraggled Naruto stumbled slowly through. Their gaze was captured by him instantly... even when he'd worn himself to the bone in wave, he hadn't looked so terrible. His stumbling was weak and he nearly tripped twice, and when he finally made it to his chair it was more a matter of draping himself limply over it rather than sitting down. He seemed ready to pass out right there at the table.
"Tut... Lightweight. But to be fair, I suppose you may not have realized those little drinks you sucked down so fast were highly alcoholic."
"Ooh..."
He turned his head slightly and opened one bleary eye.
"Kakashi-sensei...? Kill me... End my torment..."
"Ah, get over it... It's just a little hangover... You'll get over it. Eat a little, drink something. You'll survive."
"Urgh... My world has been redefined as living pain... Where are we?"
"You won living quarters here... last night, remember? Or actually you might not... some people have memory problems after drinking as much as you did."
"Ah?"
Naruto's brow crinkled as he searched his memory, flinching now and again as a jolt of pain ran through his head.
"Oh yeah, the card game... I don't feel so good..."
Naruto's eyes closed, and he slumped slightly heavier in his chair. Laharl sent a curious glance his way.
"Huh... passed out. Ah well... I'll just leave some here for him when he wakes up... Now then Flonne, show our visitors to the door... The girl seems terribly famished, and it would be rude to keep them from seeking a meal somewhere."
This prompted a clenched fist and swollen vein from said girl as she contemplated on if it was so rude, then why hadn't he let them eat some of his food? Nontheless, they all quietly left, and made it to the door far faster than it had taken them to make their way to the dining room for some reason.
As they left, Sasuke paused and turned to stare at the statues framing the door, where they were lying down, curled up in a fascimile of sleep... but hadn't they? He shook his head and left. Stupid Dobe... If he had won a free room in that creepy building, he would have turned it down... but then again, he owned the entire Uchiha sector. It wasn't like he was hurting for real estate.
As he disappeared around the bend in the path, Laharl's face could be seen in one of the windows... smirking.
"Baka ningen... so easily fooled."
xxx
A.N.
Wow... this chapter is way longer than I expected to write, but I just seemed incapable of stopping. Creeping out Sasuke and Sakura was more amusing than I'd expected. So anyway, the puppets in the first room are Marionettes from Disgaea 2... but the stone monsters outside are something I made up. Also, I enjoy tormenting Prinnies. You've probably already gathered that though.
Ah... Don't think I'll be reincarnating much of the cast... but there might be a few. For one, I just can't get the image of a Prinnified Zabuza out of my head. Also, there will eventually be Item World action... I'll be taking advantage of the fact that real time doesn't seem to pass while you're in an Item. I've already decided on using one of Kakashi's Icha Icha books in this manner... other things are up in the air though. Feel free to suggest things to me, and they may or may not be used. Also, I'm going to have Naruto have three minions to begin with... Definitely a Prinny of some sort, and one Humanoid and one Monster type. I think I've decided on the monster type, but the Humanoid minion is still up in the air.
Reviews make me happy-happy.