Disclaimer: Some OCs are being featured in this chapter. Just a forewarning I own NONE of them. I also don't want you to be offeneded my work. I write parodies for fun. And if you don't like it, then just go read something else.

A/N: Bargh, fanfiction is stupid and it won't let me post dollar signs for whatever reason. So I have to spell out "bucks" and "dollars". If you have a problem with this (which hopefully there shouldn't be), then I don't know what to tell you. Anyways, on with the chapter!

"Round two is now in session!" Opal declared, slamming the gavel.

"Can we have a professional auctioneer now?" Chess asked.

"Alright, I was getting tired of this anyways," Opal grumbled, taking a seat between Whatever and Chickie. A man in a gray tweed suit stepped up to the podium. His black hair hung in greasy strands over his eyes and he had a potbelly.

"Good afternoon, ladies. My name is Timothy Frogspawn and I'll be your auctioneer for the next couple of rounds," he said breezily.

"Did he just say his last name was Frogsperm?" Lily asked. She was too busy stroking Frollo's hat to hear what the auctioneer said. Everyone burst into hysterics, tears streaming down their faces. Suddenly, heavenly music played throughout the room and the lights dimmed as something glittered. It was something black and stretchy. Could it be? It was!

"Clopin's tights. Bidding starts at 60 dollars!" said Mr. Frogspawn.

The girls squealed so loudly that the windows broke. To save the sanity of those reading this story, the authoress will now automatically fast forward to the winner of the auction.

"AIEEEEEEEEE!! CLOPIN WORE THIS!" Chickie squealed, hugging the nylon. She had bid 528 dollars and 62 cents. If she wasn't their friend, they would've gunned her down faster than a machine gun.

"Now then, for our next item--"

A/N: To save the sanity of those who are reading this and because the authoress is quite lazy at the moment, we will now skip ahead to the people's auction.

A girl almost identical to Opal stood before them next to Mr. Frogspawn. However, unlike Opal, she had a smaller bust and a smaller frame. In addition, she didn't have glasses.

"First up for auction is Brielle Badeau! Created by Opal, she is a charming girl who may or not be a Sue. Bidding starts at 200 dollars," said Mr. Frogspawn.

"WHAT? THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY!" Lenny exclaimed.

"I'll buy her for 250! Then I can torture her for murdering my Frollo-poo!" Lily growled. Brielle gulped, staring fearfully at the Frollo fan girl.

"Here's 300 dollars!" cried Whatever, waving a wad of cash at Mr. Frogspawn.

"Going once? Going twice? SOLD TO WHATEVER!"

"Awesome! Don't worry, you didn't murder Clopin so you're safe with me," Whatever said comfortingly. Brielle looked relieved as she sat with the gargoyle trio, whom Whatever had also purchased.

"Alright, next up is--"

"Oh please be Clopin!" Chess prayed.

"You're wrong! It's Marie-Sue Arena Christine Kaylyn Rose. But you can call her Amy for short."

"Oh no," everyone groaned. Amy, who was a parody Sue created by Chess, looked like a blown up Barbie doll; complete with the large chest and wavy blonde hair.

"Can you buy me, Chess?" Amy whined, "you created me after all." Her tone of voice soon turned seductive. "And you bought Djali! You need two for the price of one after all," she crooned, licking her Angelina Jolie-like lips. Djali gulped and the girls watched in disgust.

"No way am I buying you, Amy! I nearly went bulimic just trying to write the romance scenes you had, especially with Frollo!" Chess declared.

Lily glared at her and Amy looked on the verge of throwing a temper tantrum.

"But that's not fair!" she cried, tears threatening to spill gracefully out of her shining eye sockets.

"This dress isn't low cut enough!" Amy added, pulling down her dress so low her nipples were in danger of spilling over the fabric.

"Oh dear God!" Chickie screamed, shielding her eyes.

"QUICKLY! SOMEONE BUY HER!" Mr. Frogspawn begged, sweating nervously as Amy tried to seduce him as well.

"I can't believe I'm doing this. I'll buy her for a nickel," Lenny winced.

"YAY!" Amy giggled, jumping gracefully into the air and sitting on Lenny's lap,

"We're going to have so much fun together!"

"Like hell we will!" she yelled.

Conveniently, there was a large wood stove oven in the corner. Lenny eyed it gleefully.

"You look quite cold, how about a sit by the fire?" Lenny asked.

"No thanks," Amy said.

Suddenly, they heard a melodic voice sing "There's no place like London…"

Turning around in their seats, the group came face to face with none other than

"SWEENY TODD!" they swooned. Played by Johnny Depp, he was the demon barber of Fleet Street. Despite his skunk colored hair, pale skin, and the desire to slit throats, he was genuinely adorable.

"You ma'am! How about a shave?" Sweeney asked, flipping out a razor close to her chin.

"Yes! I'm due for my Brazilian anyways!" she said happily, slowly, lifting up her dress.

"That's not what I had in mind," Sweeny grinned slyly. And with that, he slashed the knife across Amy's throat, graphically showering her blood on everyone.

"EWWWWWW!" Opal cried as Sweeny dragged her corpse to the oven.

"I'm kind of sad to see her go," Chess remarked.

"Really?" Lily asked.

Chess shrugged her shoulders as the fire alarms went off.

"What's up with all this randomness Opal?" Whatever shrieked as the sprinklers went off.

"I dunno, but at least the blood gone!" Opal reasoned logically

"Thank God that's over. Now for Lavender Black, created by our own Lily!" said Mr. Frogspawn.

"I'm so proud of her," Lily exclaimed proudly, dabbing a single tear daintily.

"Hey! Her two names represent colors!" Whatever laughed, slapping her knee.

Ignoring this, Mr. Frogspawn continued, "As I was saying, this girl's eyes and lips match her first name while her hair represents her last name."

"Huh?" Chickie and Chess asked.

"Never mind, bidding starts at 200 dollars!"

"I'll buy her!" Opal offered, "is that okay with you?" she asked Lily.

"Sure, I'm saving all my money for Frollo anyways!"

"You're a doll," Opal smiled, hugging her. And with that, Lavender was sold to the blonde authoress.

"Sweet! But you DO know that if you're living under my house you aren't falling for Frollo and Clopin. It's either one or the other, and you're welcome to have Frollo because then Clopin is mine!"

"Who are we bidding on next, Mr. Frogspawn?" Chickie asked.

"I can't tell you! It creates a dramatic effect! You'll find out—RIGHT AFTER THE BREAK!" he cried, sounding oddly like Ryan Seacrest.

"Dammit!" Lenny grumbled.

Even though they finally had been rid of Amy and Opal's poor auction leading skills had been replaced, there was sadness in the air. They were barely halfway through and the Gypsy King hadn't been auctioned yet. But there was always hope for round three…

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this chapter! And I need more ideas for HoND things to auction because one of the chapters I'm doing is a list of items that went up, who bought them, and for how much. PLEASE REVIEW!!