Dear Diary
It's May time. Spring lambs, flower buds appearing like polka dots, and a warm gentle breeze. A breeze gentle enough to not sweep you off your feet, yet strong enough to fend off the surviving particles of winter.
Although, I should be out socializing, having fun like any other teenage girl, yet I'm tied between my paper round in attempt to pull in any cash to keep roof over our heads, the kids, Elizabeth, Oliver, and Penny, keeping them clean and fed, keeping shoes on their feet, and general housekeeping. But at least I have Mabel, my 12 year old sister/sidekick/best friend. Without Mabel, we wouldn't have any clothes (I can't sow, knit, or stitch so making clothes is out of the question). We also wouldn't have any warm water, because, I mind the kids whilst she fills the bath tub from the well, then I warm the water in the barn stove, whilst she minds the kids. I have also been busy trying to breed from Father's dogs for extra money. My amateur attempts have not been successful however. Mind you, that's already another 14 canine mouths to feed added to the 5 human mouths.
3 months ago I would be saying "Why can't my life be easier?" But now I know, I have to cope, there is no point what-so-ever in whining and whimpering when I know that Mother and Father are never coming back. I have to deal with this.
I have been praying to the lord, for forgiveness, for have taken most of what I have been blessed with, for granted, for the past 13 years.
"I deeply apologise, Oh lord,
For I have sinned in your name.
I shall not take anything for granted,
Nor shall I stoop to stealing what I have not got.
I regret questioning my existence,
For I know that my duty has now turned into
Being a mother, a worker, but still a sister.
I now know my purpose.
I will always love you lord, and you will always love me, even when I may turn my back on you.
Amen."