Sun Tzu said: Whoever is first in the field and awaits the coming of the enemy, will be fresh for the fight; whoever is second in the field and has to hasten to battle will arrive exhausted.

Bilbo was having pleasant dreams, but when he opened his eyes it turned out to be a nightmare. For some reason someone was knocking on his window. Quite persistently as a matter of fact. He wanted to lay in for a couple of minutes, or hours, he was in no hurry to get anywhere. But the knocking on the window just didn't stop! And when he opened his eyes, he saw his worst nightmare.

Thorin.

Thorin was standing there where the sunlight was supposed to come into his room. That is a way to start a day. When the sun rises and the first light warms your room through the window. Not the annoying knocking. Which Bilbo was getting really tired of. He pulled the covers back and hopped out of the bed prepared to give Thorin a piece of his mind for waking him up so early. It was 6:53 on the clock. What was he even doing here?

Thorin smiled with success as Bilbo gout up from the bed and approached the window. He motioned to him to open it and Bilbo did exactly that.

"What are you doing- No, no, no- Get out!" Before Bilbo even had a chance to protest Thorin pushed the window open all the way and ungracefully climbed in not giving Bilbo a chance to stop him or to close the window before doing so. He tumbled onto the floor before quickly getting up, closing the window and gesturing the Bilbo to be quiet.

"What the hell are you doing here," Bilbo hissed at him quietly.

"I'll explain everything later," said Thorin and kicked off his shoes.

Bilbo's eyes widened when he saw what Thorin was doing. He was so shocked when Thorin took off his jacket and then unbuttoned his shirt, he couldn't even complain. Luckily Thorin was wearing a t-shirt underneath. A shirt that was too tight over his muscular chest. Not fair, Bilbo cursed in his mind.

"No, no, no!" Hissed Bilbo when Thorin took his shirt off and threw it on the bed. "Are you crazy? What are you doing?"

"You need to help me," Thorin said as he ruffled his hair. "Does it look good?"

"What?"

"Does it look like I slept here?" Thorin quickly repeated the question before pulling the covers back on Bilbo's bed so that it looked like two people slept in it.

"What? No! Absolutely no!" Protested Bilbo and Thorin once again ruffled his hair to make it more realistic. "You will not sleep here!"

"Can't we just pretend that I did?"

"Absolutely not! What were you thinking? Coming- Climbing! Into my room so early in the morning."

"I said I needed your help," Thorin quickly explained as he moved to the doors to listen if anyone was coming, Bilbo followed close behind.

"You're not getting it!"

"I'll pay you back."

Bilbo quieted for a moment, but just a moment. "How?"

"By kissing you," smirked Thorin before pressing his ear back to the door.

"Argh!" groaned Bilbo and slapped his arm. "Get out!"

"In a minute," promised Thorin and avoided Bilbo's slap at the last moment.

"W-what?" Bilbo asked when suddenly the doorbell rang.

Thorin shrugged. "I guess this was less than a minute."

"What's going on?" Bilbo asked, not really knowing what was happening.

"Just play along," Thorin instructed him when Bilbo's mother called him.

A few seconds later there was a knock on the door. "Bilbo?"

Thorin sent a quick look to Bilbo before shaking his head and lazily opening the door.

"Oh," gasped Belladonna surprised to see Thorin there in his t-shirt, looking completely disheveled. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Thorin faked a yawn as he rubbed his eyes, acting like he just woke up. "It just… happened," Thorin offered and Belladonna smiled.

"Well, apparently your parents knew," she informed him. "I'm not sure if it's proper-"

"It's fine," assured her Thorin.

"Well, they are waiting for you in the living room," she told him. "And if you could please tell my son to come as well. It's rude to leave guests waiting."

"I'm sure they don't…" Thorin trailed off when Belladonna sent him a look. "We'll be there shortly," he promised her, before she nodded and left.

The moment he closed the doors Thorin saw that Bilbo wanted to protest so he quickly covered his mouth with his hand to shush him. He let him go when he was sure that Belladonna couldn't hear them anymore.

"Are you crazy? What are you playing? Why are your parents here?"

"Quickly, we don't have much time before they get suspicious."

"Suspicious of what? You just came here!"

"That's not what my parents think," informed him Thorin as he tried to get his hair back in order.

"Then what do they think?" The look Thorin sent him answered all of his questions. "Oh… Again? What were you thinking?!" yelled Bilbo at him as he chased him around the room trying to slap him. Thorin couldn't help but to laugh. Bilbo was absolutely adorable when he was angry. Which was wrong. Bilbo wasn't supposed to be adorable. Who even uses that word? Teenagers in love. Something they weren't.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Thorin apologized as he caught both of Bilbo's hands and prevented him to hit him again.

"You lied! Again! And you dragged me into it! Again!"

"I just wanted to make things believable. You have no idea how happy my parents were after you left yesterday-"

"Yours too?"

"Especially my mother," Thorin confirmed.

"So what are you doing here?"

Thorin knew he had to tell Bilbo the truth, otherwise the younger man will refuse to help him. "Me and Dwalin went to celebrate last night. We got a few drinks, spend the night partying… And then in the morning my parents realized I wasn't at home and they called me and I just… I don't know…panicked? And then told them I was staying at your place."

"Why would you be staying at my place?"

Thorin sent him a look. "I don't know. Maybe because I didn't see you for some time and I wanted to spend some quality time with you."

"We agreed to break up. We agreed it was one night, no, one dinner thing. And now everyone thinks you and I slept together."

Thorin cocked his head to one side and nodded. "Pretty much, yeah."

"You idiot! What were you thinking?" yelled Bilbo as he hit Thorin once again.

"If you could just keep it down a bit," tried Thorin as he backed away from the furious younger man. "They'll hear us."

Bilbo pointed a finger at Thorin's chest. "This is the last time! After this we're breaking up."

"Fine with me," said Thorin quickly before Bilbo could add anything else. He quickly took his hand and dragged him out of his room only to realize he had absolutely no idea where to go.

"You really are a genius," Bilbo told him before pulling his hand out of Thorin's hold and leading them to the living room where their parents were waiting.

Thorin's mother's eyes lit up the moment she saw them enter the living room together while Thráin watched them with a suspicious glare.

"Nothing happened," told him Thorin as he lifted his hands in surrender and sat down next to Bilbo on the sofa.

"I certainly hope so," said Bungo.

"Bilbo, you could have at least get dressed in something proper," scolded Belladonna and Bilbo rolled his eyes.

"I just woke up. And you then barged into my room to tell me to come immediately," answered Bilbo back not trying to hide how annoyed he was with everything. "I didn't exactly have time to change."

"There's no need to worry about proper," interrupted Freya before Belladonna could continue to scold her son. "Boys will be boys and children never do what we expect them to." Thorin scoffed at that. Children, at twenty-seven he wouldn't call himself a child, but his mother liked to forget that he was a grown man. "Besides, Thorin isn't looking any better," she added and then looked down to Thorin's sock that had a big hole in it.

"Why are you here, mum?"

"To invite Bilbo to go hunting with us."

"What?!" both Bilbo and Thorin exclaimed at the same time.

"You can't be serious," Thorin told her. "He doesn't hunt."

"He's right," Bilbo agreed. "I don't hunt. I get all my meat at the supermarket already dead and cooled down to four degrees Celsius."

"Bilbo!"

"What?" said Bilbo. "You know that's true."

"He can't hunt," Thorin told his mother before looking at his father with pleading eyes, hoping to support him and stop this madness. "He can't even hold a rifle."

"Hey," protested Bilbo. "Show some respect."

"You would kill someone before hitting a target in the open! You would be deadly dangerous in the forest. Please be reasonable," Thorin said to his mother. "He can't come! He'll be a danger to us all. He never held a rifle in his life. How can you expect him to come hunting with us."

"He's your intended-"

"Woah, no! Stop the horses! That's why I didn't want to say anything in the first place," interrupted her Thorin. "My intended? No, out of the question. We're not getting married."

"We're not," confirmed Bilbo.

"Fine, boyfriend then," said Thráin. "I still believe he should spend some time with us so we can get to know him better."

"Why would you need to know him any better? We could be breaking up next week?"

"Are you going to?" asked Thráin and Thorin knew he suspected something.

"Of course not-"

"Then you won't mind him coming with us and getting to know him better. If you're in a relationship with him I think it's at least proper that we get to know him."

"You already know him," pointed out Thorin. "We were childhood friends."

"Yes, but that was ages ago," said Freya. "I know you two would rather spend the day together just the two of you, but I think that if Bilbo's spends the day with us he'll feel more relaxed around us. After all, he is almost a part of the family."

Thorin just stared at her not knowing what to say.

"It's decided then," said Thráin. "Bilbo will spend the day with us."

"I don't think this is such a good idea," said Bilbo. "I mean, Thorin is right, I could hurt someone or put you in danger. It's better if I stay here. Safer too."

"Son, it's rude to refuse an invitation like this," told him Bungo.

Bilbo looked at his father and then at Thráin. He knew this wasn't going to end well.

"It's decided then. Bilbo will spend the day with us and tomorrow Thorin can spend the day with you. That way everyone will be happy."

:::

Dís and Frerin were having the time of their life watching Bilbo trying to follow them through the forest. It rained a few days ago and the fallen leaves were slippery, plus they weren't exactly walking on a path so they had to avoid branches, bushes and three roots. To sum it up; for Bilbo this was a nightmare. He didn't have proper footwear so he slipped several times, he was cold and wet and the most important thing – he never agreed to this.

Apparently the Durins were born hunters if the two rabbits Dís was carrying were any indication. She may be young but her hearing was excellent and her aim was perfect. Thráin was obviously hoping to catch something bigger, but with the all the noise Bilbo was making, he probably scared all the animals in a two mile radius away.

Bilbo was happy he wasn't given a rifle, walking alone was difficult. Thorin hasn't spoken a word to him. Actually no one did except Freya, who tried her best to make him feel welcome. She talked with him and explained that the kids and her husband took hunting seriously, though to Bilbo it looked like a game. The one who gets to kill a bigger animal wins. So far Dís was in the lead with her two rabbits.

"Brother," said Frerin and Thorin jumped with surprise not expecting him.

"What do you want?" asked Thorin as he looked around hoping to spot something he could shoot. Though if Frerin continued to be annoying he won't have to look anymore.

"Your boyfriend there," they both turned toward Bilbo, who was once again caught in the lower branches. "He looks absolutely miserable. How about you give him a hand?" Frerin suggested with a friendly pat on the back.

"Yeah brother," Dís interrupted. "It's painful to watch him. And mom and dad are starting to look suspicious since you haven't spoken a word to him."

"Good idea sis," smiled Frerin. "We should split up. Mom and dad go together with Dwalin, me and little sis go together and you go with your intended."

Thorin fixed him with a glare. "Don't call him that."

"Okay. What other pet name should I use for him then?" teased Frerin.

"His name is Bilbo!"

"So it's not Honey or Sweetheart?"

"I'm going to kill you," Thorin threatened before Dís and Frerin finally left him alone laughing.

He looked once again back to Bilbo, who finally managed to set himself free and was able to follow them again while muttering, Thorin guessed, curses in a language he didn't understand.

"Listen up everyone," Thráin called. "Frerin suggested we should split up and that's what we're going to do. We'll be going in pairs, you know this terrain but if anything happens call for help. We meet in two hours back at the house. The one who brings the biggest deer wins."

Frerin and Dís were off immediately, followed shortly by Thráin and Freya, so Thorin was stuck with Bilbo, who still had to catch up with him.

"Where did everyone go?" Bilbo asked breathlessly when he finally reached Thorin.

"We decided to split up and I got stuck with you. I'm never going to win," said Thorin to no one.

"Well, I'm sorry I'm such a burden to you, but I never asked you for any of this. This is all your fault!" accused Bilbo before he stormed away.

"Where are you going?" called Thorin after him. "You don't even know where you are."

"I'm going home! Don't worry about me. I'll find a way!"

Thorin sighed as he watched Bilbo stalk away. The idiot was going to get lost or even worse, killed. And Thorin would hate to explain everything to Bilbo's parents. "You'll get lost!"

"I don't care!" called Bilbo back. He made a few more steps before his foot got caught in the tree root and he fell. "Ouch!" His ankle hurt when he tried to move it.

"Shit," cursed Thorin when he saw Bilbo fall. He didn't even think about anything, he just ran to him to help him. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Thorin asked as he helped Bilbo sit back up. He took Bilbo's hands in his and checked for any damage before meeting Bilbo's eyes.

"My ankle really hurts," Bilbo complained. "I think I broke it."

"Can I have a look?" Thorin asked and Bilbo nodded in agreement. Thorin sat down next to Bilbo and took his leg in his lap and carefully pulled Bilbo shoe off but the younger man winced in pain. "I'm going to see if it's broken." He gently moved Bilbo's foot to assess the damage. "Good news, it's just a sprain. Nothing's broken. You should put an ice-pack on when we get back. Can you walk?" He helped Bilbo on his feet, but the younger man winced every time he put some pressure on his foot.

"It hurts too much."

"Then I'll just have to carry you."

"What? No, you can't do that."

"Then what do you suggest we do since you can't walk?" asked Thorin.

"I don't know…"

"You don't have much of a choice. Either you let me carry you or you can stay here."

Bilbo looked at Thorin disbelievingly. As if he would leave him here alone. "Fine. But you're taking me back to my house."

Thorin agreed. Bilbo wrapped an arm around Thorin's neck and allowed him to lift him up bridal style. "You're heavier than I thought," teased Thorin.

"Oh, shut up!"

:::

Belladonna rushed to the doors the moment she heard them enter. "What happened!?"

"My foot got stuck and I fell," Bilbo explained as Thorin took him to his room and his mother followed them.

"He'll be fine," assured her Thorin as he put Bilbo down on his bed.

"Is there anything I should bring?"

"An ice-pack, that's all," told her Thorin.

She returned a couple of minutes later with the ice wrapped in a towel and handed it to Thorin.

"I can take care of it, thank you."

She smiled at him. "I'll leave you two alone," she said to them and closed the doors after she left.

"Thank you," said Bilbo just above the whisper when they were finally left alone.

"I didn't quite catch that. Can you repeat please?"

"Thank you," said Bilbo louder this time knowing that Thorin was only teasing him.

"You're welcome." He placed the ice on Bilbo's slightly swollen ankle before joining him on the bed.

"You don't have to stay here. I can manage."

"I don't mind," assured him Thorin before reaching for the controller and turning the TV on. "Besides, if I go back the teasing will never end."

"I knew it," smiled Bilbo. "I knew you were doing this for yourself. I just knew it."

"It looks like you read me like an open book, Bilbo Baggins."

"It looks like I do, Thorin Durin," smiled Bilbo before stealing the remote and changing the channel.

Author's notes:

All mistakes are mine.