Screaming Peonies
Chapter Two - Affection
Dean laid shivering next to Sam. He had to go to the bathroom so bad, but he was so very scared and didn't want to leave the security of the warm and caring body next to him.
He tried to sleep like the nice man holding him had said. He'd closed his eyes and he had tried so hard but he just couldn't. The man called Sam had finally fallen asleep and Dean was glad. He looked so tired and upset.
Dean was mortified when he felt the warm fluid against his skin. He'd waited too long.
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Sam was pulled from the deep level of sleep up through to semi-wakefulness. It didn't register at first, but he felt something wet against his body.
Slightly disorientated upon waking, it took some time for Sam to remember the events that had recently transpired.
Opening his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming, his first sight was of Dean, the dimmer light illuminating the silent tears coursing down his face.
"Hey…hey…Dean, what's wrong, you're safe" Sam consoled as he brushed away the tears. Dean lowered his eyes before turning on his side away from Sam.
Feeling the wet sheet against his skin, it dawned on Sam as to what had happened.
"It's okay, Dean. Don't cry, it was an accident. These things happen" Sam explained tenderly.
Standing up, Sam came around to Dean's side of the bed and turned on the lamp. Dean pulled himself into a tight ball and closed his eyes.
Sam knelt down beside the bed leaning in close to his big brother and clasped Dean's tear stained face.
"I'm going to get you all cleaned up and then we'll switch beds and we'll let this one dry out and it'll all be fine" Sam re-assured.
"Let me grab a facecloth and towel" Sam explained as he kissed Dean's forehead before standing up and moving quickly to get what he needed.
As he gathered his supplies, Sam reflected on the situation. It didn't appear that Dean had reverted back to being a child. In fact, Sam was sure that this wasn't the case. In many ways, if it had been, it would have been much easier to deal with. What Sam had been given back was a broken and very lost big brother, unsure of his abilities and scared to death.
Dean was in the same position when Sam returned.
Bending over, Sam lightly tugged Dean into a sitting position before helping him to stand. Sam then took a seat on the other bed and maneuvered Dean to stand between his legs.
Dean turned and looked mournfully at the soiled bedding. Sam reached up and tenderly pulled Dean's face away from the view.
"I love you Dean" Sam breathed, as he set about cleaning up his guy.
Slowly running the cloth up Dean's thighs and surrounding groin area, many thoughts were competing in Sam's mind. It was all so heart wrenching and Sam vowed to take the best care, in every way that was needed, of the man he loved above all others.
Drying Dean off, Sam then stood up and smiled down at Dean. "I've missed you so much and I'm so glad you're back" Sam exhaled before pulling Dean against him.
"You don't have to be scared Dean. I'm never going to let you go and I'll always be here to protect you. Always" Sam confirmed.
Holding Dean by the waist, Sam turned and lowered the bedding. Helping Dean in, Sam then pulled up the covers and tucked him in.
Sam left the light on as he climbed in on the other side. Positioning himself against the headboard, Sam placed a pillow on his lap. Dean instinctively moved closer and placed one of his hands on the pillow. Running one hand through Dean's soft hair, Sam placed his other hand over Dean's and squeezed gently.
They stayed that way for a long time, two halves of one soul, each lost in their own thoughts.
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Slowly, Dean settled down into a troubled sleep.
Sam's mind was working frantically; he had Dean's duffel out in the Impala. He'd held on to everything, but the Dean that had come back to him, had injuries, had lost weight and was going to need some new clothes.
There was no way that they'd be leaving here anytime soon. Dean was so scared and there was no way that Sam was going to add any additional stress.
Mentally running down the food times in the kitchenette, Sam knew he was going to have to make a provision run. He recalled seeing one of those twenty-four hour places that sold everything, a few miles away.
He wanted to pick up some flannel bedding to wrap Dean in. The sheets and blankets were scratchy and rough and although it didn't matter before, it sure did now that Dean was here.
Mentally going over his list of needed items, Sam figured he'd be gone no more than an hour at the most.
Looking down at his sleeping brother, Sam made his decision. Slowly sliding out of bed, Sam dressed quietly and left the room. Praying to God that the Impala didn't wake up Dean, Sam started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.
At this early hour there was virtually no traffic and even better Sam discovered, almost no customers in the store.
Moving quickly up and down the aisles, Sam tossed his purchases into the wagon and made his way to the check-out. Unloading the cart, Sam paused. Sitting on one of the shelves, was a little stuffed dog, very much like the one Dean had bought him all those years ago.
The little dog rode shot-gun all the way back to the motel.
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Loaded down with bags and the little dog, Sam fumbled with the room key initially. Opening the door, he reached down for the bags and placed them on the motel room floor.
Glancing up and expecting to see a sleeping Dean, Sam's heart stopped as he scanned the room. Dean wasn't in bed, he wasn't in the room. Sam ran to the bathroom and there was no Dean.
"Dean! Dean! Where are you?" Sam cried. Preparing to begin searching outside, Sam's eyes caught a glimpse of two bare feet under the bed.
"Oh God" Sam thought to himself, blinking back tears of sadness. He'd done the one thing to Dean that he promised he'd never do – he left him alone.
Grabbing the dog, Sam came over to the bed and laid down flat on his stomach between the two beds.
Dean's eyes were wild with fear and panic. He had his index finger in his mouth. There was no way Sam could get under the bed. He didn't know how Dean had done it.
"Please Dean…please come out" Sam begged as he reached out his hand. Dean moved back further. Sam wondered how the human heart could survive such trauma, for he felt sure his was breaking.
"Dean, please c'mon out. No one is going to hurt you. I'm so very sorry I left you alone. I know it doesn't matter now, but I went to the store to get you some popsicles and other food that would be easy for you to eat. Please forgive me Deanie, I know you're scared, but I'm here now" Sam whispered. Dean stayed where he was.
Deciding on a different tactic, Sam retrieved the little dog from the bed.
"Look who I found when I was out" Sam put the little stuffed dog in front of him. "Remember Dean, when I was little you bought me one just like him and I called him Monroe? " Sam whispered.
Dean's eyes moved to the little dog. Sam was positive he saw a flicker of recognition in Dean's eyes.
Pulling his finger out of his mouth, Dean reached out a slow and tentative hand towards the little dog, touching its fur, before pulling his hand back.
"Do you like him Dean? He likes you and I love you Dean, I love you so much. Do you think you can come out now? I can't fit any further under the bed" Sam explained.
"Please" Sam whispered.
Dean wiggled his way back out from under the bed and into Sam's strong and waiting arms.
"I'm so sorry" Sam breathed into Dean's hair, feeling his big brother's shaking form against his own and knowing he was the one who had caused it.
Pulling back slightly to take a look at Dean, Sam noted that the dust from under the bed had gathered on Dean, in addition to some newly acquired carpet burns. Brushing lightly at the dust, Sam worked at it until he got it all off.
Tangling their fingers together, Sam took Dean with him to get the grocery bags and then into the little kitchenette.
"I'm just going to let go while I unpack the bags" Sam explained with a weak smile.
Placing the articles of clothing, bedding and medical supplies to one side, Sam then unpacked the remaining bags.
The ice cream had turned pretty much to liquid. The popsicles were in better shape. Putting the popsicles in the freezer, Sam then got down a bowl and a spoon. Pouring some of the ice cream into the bowl, Sam placed the remainder in the freezer.
He then undid the wrapping on the flannel sheet, opened the cotton swabs and undid the jar of Vaseline, all under Dean's watchful gaze. "I'm just going to put these things on the nightstand" Sam advised as he carried everything over.
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Kicking off his shoes and climbing onto the bed, Sam unfolded the flannel sheet and placed it over himself. "C'mere Dean" Sam asked. Dean did as he was asked and Sam felt his heart drop even lower. There was no sassy retort or cocky grin or sly look. His Dean was clearly badly hurt.
Spreading his legs, Sam motioned for Dean to sit between them. Dean climbed onto the bed and leaned back against Sam. Monroe the second, was sitting on the extra pillow.
Taking the Vaseline and a cotton swab Sam lightly ran it over each of the carpet burns that were visible. "Can you bend your left knee for me?" Sam asked. Dean bent it and Sam ran the cotton swab over the small burn, before taking the sheet and wrapping Dean up in it. "I bet that feels better" Sam murmured against Dean's ear.
"Ready for some ice cream soup?" Sam asked with a light chuckle. Dean tilted his head and nodded solemnly at Sam. It wasn't a lot, but at least Dean had responded.
Bending his knees, Sam reached for the bowl and spoon as Dean adjusted himself in the crook of Sam's arm.
Taking extra care to avoid the injured area of Dean's mouth, Sam fed his brother the ice cream soup in slow intervals and between fluttering kisses.
After Dean was finished, Sam placed the empty bowl and spoon back on the nightstand. Taking the tip of the sheet Sam gently patted the small amounts of leftover ice cream that had pooled on Dean's lips, before re-dipping a fresh cotton swab with Vaseline. Running it over Dean's gums and lips, Sam felt himself being watched by a very serious pair of green eyes. "Love you Dean" Sam said and smiled.
Dropping the swab on the floor, Sam locked his arms tighter around Dean, snuggling them together. Dean had his thumb in his mouth again and was looking up at him through half-closed eyes.
Taking Monroe from the pillow, Sam reached out and tickled Dean's nose with it.
To be continued.
Author's Note: Thank you so much for your support of this story. I sincerely appreciate it.