Sorry I'm a lousy updater! I'm actually going to make an effort now to write for this fanfic, long chapters over 1,500 words at least! This one is a tad short, because I thought the few people who subbed to it deserved a little taste of what's to come...Aiden and Sydney definatly have a part in the plot!

Please Review and let me know if you actually care for me to continue this, i'm in the middle of a big move and it may be hard to post, but I'm going to try!

DIMCLAIMERARIO: Richelle Mead owns all yaddayaddayadda leave me alone

APOV

God, I need some alcohol. Some whisky sounds good.

I let my eyes explore the newly discovered depths in my face, the pale ghost that used to be me taunting in the mirror. Everything about me feels a blur, my features, my emotions, spirit, but that might just be since I already had some shots and it's not even nine in the morning. I mean really how far gone am I? All because of a stupid girl? I know that she's stunning, her body is crazy hot but…how bad could that affect me?

A nervous chuckle escapes me, I know the spirit plays a role in the destruction of Adrian Ivanshkov..But every time I close my eyes at night I feel remorse, I see her face smiling at me. Sometimes I wonder if I should visit her in her dreams and ask for her back. But I don't want her back; I still can't forgive her for what she did. I mean she pretending like everything was fine; did I visit her in her dreams when she was sleeping in his arms? The face in the mirror, an empty man, drops and his eyes bulge. Of course her aura would change when she was with the man she truly loved. Dammit. It took me all this time to finally realize.

That's the part that stops me from getting over it. I see them all the time, when I'm with Lissa, Rose is bound to be there. So now she brings her boyfriend along and they laugh and smile like the happiest people in the world, they even live together! But when she sees me, she either excuses herself and leaves or attempts to talk to me. To be honest I don't know which I'd rather she did, but I don't feel like hearing her apologize for the millionth time, I have better things to do, like drink.

I bend over and splash the icy water onto my hot skin which seems to have burnt up from the revelation I just had. I walk unsteadily out of my room and into the hall; I'm due in for the feeders round about now.

When I walk around the corner to the office desk where a Moroi lady sits behind, looking at her computer screen as soon as she sees me.

"Oh Adrian, you haven't been in in a while." When she smiles you can see the wrinkles starting to form around her eyes, as if she has smiled a lot in her life, but the concern in the look makes me angry. When will people stop looking at me like that?

After I'm finished I feel replenished, like I have enough energy to run a marathon compared to how I felt earlier. I smile, thinking that it's silly to think I can outrun the darkness, but why not try anyway?

I feel the familiar rush from the blood and the alcohol running through my veins, and before my head can really think it through my legs are moving underneath me, hitting the pavement hard through my expensive leather shoes. I need to get away from this place; from her. If only they would let me.

I keep running. I don't ever want to stop, leave Rose and Spirit and all that other Shit behind me…

I smack hard against someone.

For a minute I just lie on the floor, taking up the entire corridor with my long tall lanky body. Whoever that was probably left; bastard didn't even check if I was injured or whatever, I swear my name has no respect left at all. It's not like I do anything to disprove all the rumors anyway, a laugh escapes my lips.

Eventually I pull myself up before I see a pair of eyes penetrating me with their gaze. It's that Sydney girl, the alchemist. Her blond hair falling out into her porcelain face, this is probably the most unkempt I've ever seen her.

"Oh, hello there Angel Face." I let my eyes wonder over her, examining the golden lily with curiosity. She flinches and I feel my temper hotting up.

Great, now I'm frustrated and angry.

Despite knowing she will be utterly terrified, I run my finger up the side of her arm, my cool finger contrasting vastly from her soft pink skin, warm and flushed from our encounter. She pulls away almost instantly, and stutters slowly, her voice quiet and fragile. She looks worked up and upset, and her blouse is slightly untucked from her black pencil skirt, as if her day has already been long enough without me. "I-I-I apologize for bumping into you, but as I didn't see you coming, and uhm, I would have moved if I had known it were you…"

I roll my eyes dramatically, showing off. "Oh yes, of course because nobody likes Adrian. He's some douche that Rose dated or whatever, he likes to get hammered and screw chicks because he's that much of an ass. Should have expected you to be like the rest of them, can I remind you that she cheated on me?" I don't understand why I felt the need to explain myself to her, there was something about those eyes, something earnest that was beautiful enough to paint.

She held an arm around herself and stared at the floor. Right when I was about to fucking give up, those gold-speckled eyes looked up. 'It's not that…" Her cheeks deepened into an even redder blush, I could see it reach down into her shirt. "Just that I'm not quite that comfortable around your kind ye-"

I burst out laughing, interrupting the alchemist. Realizing that I was being a bit rude I let the grin drop off my face. This whole time that was what she was worried about?

"Honestly? That's what you've been shit scared about?" I covered my mouth to hide my smile. "You think I vant to suck your blood?" Her eyes went huge when I let my fangs extend out.

"PUT THOSE AWAY!" she screamed. Shocked, I closed my eyes as I felt them recline back into place.

"Sydney, I was just pissing about…" But she wasn't having any of it, taking a deep breath as if to calm herself before launching into speech.

"You know how we feel about that, you just wanted to be a complete jerk about it! All you are is a self-concerned know-it-all who's a lousy ex and a lazy wannabe frat boy. Get on with your life and leave me alone."

I couldn't believe this. She whipped around and headed the direction she had come, nearly running away from where we had been talking. Not before I saw a single tear escape her, and roll down her ivory coloured cheek.

Shit. Now I felt like an ass.

Slow chapter, but a new one WILL be up soon! Don't ya worry ;) I'm super pumped to write about Dimitri soon!