I just want you to find me.

I'm not lost – just undiscovered.

James Morisson – 'Undiscovered'

"You. You're talking about you. Wow, you are so damaged. You can't accept help from anyone. Has anyone ever helped you? Is that why you are the way you are, because you don't feel deserving of it? Is that why you can't be vulnerable for a second? I risked my life for you because I care about you. Deal with that. And when someone does something nice, you're supposed to say ‚thank you'."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"But never do it again."

There was a long pause between them in the car. Liz looked at Red, staring at her with tears in his eyes. It was wonderful and hurting at the same time to see him like this. He was vulnerable but somehow beautiful. His face was serious, worried and haunted by ghosts that Liz couldn't even imagine. She surely had some of her own but Red must've had demons tracing him. She could see a glimpse of that right now – and she knew Red hated being like this – but still he allowed her to see it.

What had happened to this man? What had happened to him that made him this fearful of letting someone get to him. What had made him this unapproachable?

Liz wondered if there had ever been a person that he let in. Did he let Carla in? Has there ever been a woman this close to him? Of course, he had some women physically close to him. Liz learned that during the last year. But did he ever let anyone get to him emotionally? Did he ever trust someone with everything that's going on in his mind? Did he ever let anyone discover the real Red? Dembe maybe?

A touch of jealousy hit her stomach by the thought of Red being close to someone that was not her, even if that had been in the past.

Quickly, Liz moved the feeling aside. Then her mind turned to herself with that thought. Did she ever let someone get this close? Has there ever been someone who she truly opened up to – and after all that had happened – will she ever be able to let someone in?

She met Red's gaze again and a few moments Liz thought about giving in and just get out of the car, leaving his last sentence without any further comment. But that was not her. She hated it when feelings were left unspoken. She had always thought it was a waste of time and with all the things in her life that were simply in the dark, she did not want to add yet another. She needed this to be clear. And then a sentence that Liz had heard once suddenly crossed her mind.

"Red, I believe I will always do whatever I feel I have to do to keep you alive," she said calmly.

"Are you teasing me with my own sayings now, Lizzie?" Red asked.

"If I have to," she replied.

"I'm not worth it."

Liz stared at him, alarmed about him actually saying it out loud. She never thought he would confirm that the profile she gave him earlier was right.

"It's my decision to choose if you're worth it," she said a little emotionally. "You know, technically, it's my job to assure you're safe. You're our asset, the whole task force wouldn't exist if there were no Red Reddington." She paused. "That's one thing. But you come here, barge into my life, turn everything upside down and then you don't allow me to care about you at all? That may be how a task force relationship works, but not us. We have a deal, remember?"

He looked down, obviously struggling with the tears which he didn't want to allow the victory of falling from his eyes.

"I just can't stand the thought of you being in danger, Lizzie," he said quietly.

"And I can't stand the thought of you being in danger, Red," she retorted. "Why am I not allowed to have similar fears and feeling when it comes to you?"

"Because I don't want you to," Red replied.

Liz looked at him seriously.

"You missed something here," she said challenging.

"And what did I miss, Lizzie?" he asked.

"That you don't have a say in this." And with that she opened the door and got out of the car.