"You're an idiot. Literally, an idiot. Defined as Kevin Barr. It's in the dictionary. I bet you. Webster, man, I swear-"

"You done?" Kevin yawned, leaning on his hand as he picked an apple off of Nazz's lunch tray with the other.

"Not even close." Nazz snapped, stabbing her mashed potatoes. "Why would you help him? He's arrogant,"

"True."

"Self-centered,"

"Mmhmm." He bit into the apple, making a face at its lack of flavor.

"He's sarcastic as hell,"

"Totally."

"Are you even listening?"

"I agree."

"And he's got the best ass in the school."

"Damn straight."

Nazz snorted, smirking at the mortified ginger. "Gotcha."

"You're not funny."

"I'm freaking hilarious."

Kevin huffed, tossing the apple across the table and into the trashcan. "I'm not doing it for him. I just really don't want to see a car like that get trashed."

"Riiiiight."

"Shut up, Nazz."

(_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_)

Kevin skipped the last step getting off the bus, hopping onto the curb of the street. He slid slightly on the fallen leaves that covered the cement. Shifting his weight back onto both feet, he looked around his neighborhood. The southern town was in full blown autumn, colors everywhere to accent halloween decorations- despite it only being the 20th, everyone was anticipating the holiday.

He walked along the street as he came to the simple house that Eddward lived in. Taking in the neatness of the porch, Kevin rang the doorbell.

A quiet chime resounded through the house despite its size, echoing through its halls. After a moment, Eddward opened the door, leaning on its frame as he glanced at the street behind Kevin.

The younger quirked an eyebrow. "How'd you get here without taking the bus?"

"I had Marie drive me." He stepped to the side to allow the blue-ette to step onto the porch.

Kevin smiled fondly and waved at the Kanker sister as she walked down the steps and towards her car. She drove an old-fashioned white beetle- he couldn't quite make out the year. But it fit her quiet demeanor, polar opposite to Eddward's snide comments and arrogance. She usually wore a plain sweater and jeans, much like Kevin, and was the best girl on his chess team. Essentially, she was a quieter, female version of himself. Kevin almost called out to ask about any new releases at the bookstore she worked at when he remembered Eddward was standing there.

Kevin glanced back to the brunette, who watched to make sure Marie was safely in her car before making eye contact. "So. You and Marie, huh?"

"We're strictly platonic." He said simply, turning on his heel and gesturing to follow. "This way to the garage."

He stepped into the house, glancing around at the pristine white walls and carpeting, accented by black furniture. As he passed through the kitchen, he noticed the fridge was cover in paper notes.

Finish your homework.

Do your laundry.

We expect better.

We'll bring you with us when we feel you've earned our respect.

"Jesus…" Kevin muttered. "Your parents seem a bit cold."

Eddward stopped dead, not budging an inch when Kevin walked straight into his back. He looked over his shoulder at the boy, eyes narrowed into slits. "Please refrain from speaking of my parents in a disrespectful manner."

Kevin took a step back, raising his hands in front of him. "Right, I didn't- that came out wrong. Sorry."

If Edd had heard him, he showed no sign as he walked onward towards the garage. He opened the door, stepping aside to allow Kevin to slip past him. "You should find all necessary tools in the vicinity."

He nodded, glancing about the room. He quickly moved to the car, glancing first for external damage. "I'll need the keys to pop the hood."

"Excuse me?"

"To see the engine."

Edd nodded, tossing the keys to the bespectacled male.

Kevin unlocked the drivers door, leaning in to pull the latch that released the lock before stepping out again. "What told you something was wrong?"

"The check engine light was on."
"That's it?"

"I suppose I could've waited for something to explode."

He rolled his eyes, taking off his sweater in case he had to work with oil or gas- he was wearing a tank underneath, anyways. He lifted the hood with eyes roving for anything that looked out of place. "Battery looks fine, all the pistons are in place- your ignition coils don't look busted, or even rusty-... Goddammit, Edd."

"Hmm?" Eddward glanced up, eyes peeling away from the lean teen's thinly covered torso.

"You just lost a gas cap." He chuckled. "They're,barely a buck. I don't have any at the house, though. I'll have to grab one from my dad's shop tomorrow."

He nodded, stuffing one hand in the pocket of his jeans to check his phone. It was close to five, and Marie had yet to text him and say she'd gotten home safely. "I'll return in a moment- I must make a call."

"Yeah, sure. Do you mind if I look around the engine? This things got, like, 500 horsepower."

"As you please. Enjoy your equine studies." He muttered, dialing Maries number as he walked back into the house.

"Wait, horsepower's-" the door slammed. "... got nothing to do with that."

(_-_-_-_-_-_-_)

Edd gripped the granite counter, knuckles turning white as the phone went straight to voicemail. "Marie, it's Eddw- my apologies, formalities, it's Double Dee- regardless, I grow worried at the state of your well being, as I've received no word from you as to your arrival upon home. I'd greatly appreciate a reciprocating call."

He ended the call and placed the phone back into his pocket, spinning on his heel to walk back into the garage. As he opened the door, he made a small choking noise at Kevin- who was currently upside down from the ceiling. "Qu'est-ce au nom de Dieu-?!"

Hey! H-hey, woah, no, don't get mad, don't French at me-" He gestured wildly with one hand, the other cupped something to his chest. "There was a granddaddy long legs up here! I didn't want him to get-"

There was a pessimistic groan from the metal bar he was perched on.

"Kevin, get off my ceiling."

"Right, sure, hold the spider."

"What?"

"Hold the stupid spider!"

"Non!" He threw out his arms. "Vous idiot! Juste sauter!"

"What are you even saying?!"

Eddward snarled, jumping to stand on the hood of his car. He placed a hand on each side of Kevin's waist, pulling him off the bar and promptly dropping him onto the floor of the garage. "I hope your filthy arachnid is dead."

"He's fine, and says thanks for the confidence boost."

It took all that Edd had not to jump from the hood of the car and crush every one of Kevin's ribs. "I need you to drive me to Marie's house."

Kevin raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay with riding a motorcycle?"

(_-_-_-_-_-_-_)

"I've changed my mind!" Eddward barked. "Take me back!"

Kevin laughed, glancing over his shoulder at the taller male clinging to his back.

"Eyes on the road!"

Kevin grinned underneath his helmet, swerving to irk the other male. By the grip on his shoulders, he assumed it was working. They drove along the highway, taking a route faster than the back roads Edd usually took. Kevin usually didn't have much confidence- but when it came to his bikes, he was invincible.

He took an exit off of the busy road, turning into a more secluded section that led to the Kanker's trailer. Despite growing incredibly wealthy, the family had decided to stay in the park to help the girls keep their friends. Kevin noticed Eddy walking along the side of the road with his girlfriend of eight months, Lee- Eddy was an intimidating 6' 4 and 250 pounds- the high school quarterback, despite only being a sophomore. He was still the gullible softie he'd always been, tagging round Lee like a lost puppy. Lee- oh, god, Lee. Head of her class for three years, most stunning girl in school, and never had a first kiss.

Lee was crying.

Kevin slowed the motorcycle, cutting the engine as it rolled to a stop.

"Lee?" Eddward called, hopping off the bike and staggering a few steps before regaining his footing. "Where's Marie?"

Eddy glanced up, sighing heavily as he shook his head. "She crashed. The bug's trashed- how'd you guys even get here? The back roads would've been backed up to kingdom come by now."

"We took the highway." Kevin muttered, running a hand through his hair. "How is she?"

Eddy looked over to the ginger with a shrug. "Better than she was, I suppose."

"Oh, thank god." Edd breathed deeply. "What hospit-"

"She's dead." Lee said between sobs.

.

.

.

(A/N: I can explain. Really. So, since this is Reverse!AU, everyone is literally their polar opposite. So, Eddy's now tall, buff, and the guy who always gets scammed. Lee is a genius, had little interest in Eddy, and has most of the guys drooling over her. For future reference, Rolf comes from a rich family who profits from animal trade. Ed is scrawny but tall and tags around with Eddy most of the time, when he's not on the chess team. May Kanker is still the ditzy blond, but is much more independent. As a matter of fact, the sisters really don't spend as much time together as they'd like to. May is also in the sewing club.)