A/N: This fic is set in the First Kiss universe. This idea came to me after a review from addrianna818, but I'm just now writing it. Kurt has 304 reasons to be with Finn.
Disclaimer: Glee doesn't belong to me because the world is just not fair.
All the Right Reasons
Two
Kurt picked at his dinner, looking around the table miserably. He was having trouble chewing his pork chop, although it wasn't because it was tough. In fact, Carole was a really good cook. Of course, he would have marinated the meat before cooking it so it wouldn't have been so dry, but he wouldn't mention that. He and Carole took turns cooking. It wasn't that his dad and Finn were too manly to cook… just that they were terrible at it.
It had only been a matter of time before their parents got to know each other better. After all, Kurt and Finn were spending most of their free time together. Their parents hit it off almost instantly. And although, it felt a little strange for his dad to be dating his boyfriend's mom… his feelings for Finn were not brotherly by any stretch of the imagination, everyone seemed happy…
In fact, Carole and Finn had practically moved in. He knew they soon would be living with them. Although he looked forward to being around Finn even more, there was something about being apart at times that made being together even better. To put it bluntly… he wanted the chance to miss Finn. He loved him, but he definitely needed some space. He was an only child, and he never had to really share anything. Especially not his dad's affection. Now that his dad and Finn were getting along, they found they had a lot in common. That had been a little hard for Kurt to take at first.
His dad had already said that Finn and Kurt would not be sharing a room. They had a small room Finn would use until his dad could build on. Kurt couldn't imagine living in such a cramped space, but Finn reminded him that at this point he was living in a closet.
Kurt looked over at Finn. He was stabbing at his food as if it had offended him somehow, and he had a sullen look on his face.
Which brought Kurt back to why he couldn't taste his food. They had barely talked for the last few days. Although Kurt had agreed to share his list, he hadn't actually produced it yet. Finn knew he was stalling and was not happy about it. Almost as if Kurt was keeping some dark, terrible secret from him. It wasn't that anything on the list was really that bad, although Finn might take offense. It was just that he needed to keep something for himself. The list had been such a part of his life… reminders of why he put up with everything. It literally helped him survive. Of course, when he made the list he hadn't actually believed that Finn would ever return his feelings; it was just a bit of hope that he would someday have someone to love him. Hope that kept him going… the excitement of seeing Finn everyday. He had known how silly it was, but it put a bit of a spark in his day. Of course, it also brought pain with it, but he wouldn't think of that.
His thoughts strayed back to his currently annoyed boyfriend. Finn wasn't going to let it go. Not now that Kurt had agreed to show him the list. And Kurt couldn't stand how things were between them.
"Can I be excused, Dad? I have homework I need to do."
"But you haven't eaten very much. Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah, It was delicious," he added, turning to Carole. "I'm just worried about a math test I have tomorrow."
Finn was giving him irritated looks. "If you're done Finn, maybe you could help me."
The other boy looked at him in surprise. "Yeah, sure."
If either parent wondered why Kurt would want Finn's help with math, neither mentioned it. They were obviously not fooled.
Once they were in his room Kurt took out his books.
"I don't know how much help I'll be, Kurt," Finn said. "I don't really understand any of it."
Kurt resisted the urge to roll his eyes at him. "I don't really need your help, Finn. I just wanted to talk. The books are in case our parents decide to check on us."
"Oh," Finn said relief evident in his voice.
Kurt sat down on the floor and reached under his bed. He pulled out a container that had an assortment of things in it. Kurt carefully unpacked it, while Finn watched with a curious look on his face.
"What's all this?"
"This is my hope chest," Kurt replied. "And these are things that are important to me."
Finn picked up a colorful Beanie Baby. It was a little peacock.
"What are you hoping for here?" he asked.
Kurt snatched it out of his hands. He didn't speak for a moment, just smoothed out the 'feathers'.
"My mom bought that for me," he said.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Kurt," Finn said.
"No, it's okay. I remember I was upset and crying. I told her I wanted to be a girl because they got to wear all the pretty things," he whispered.
Then he turned toward Finn and said, interrupting the words that almost came out of the other boy's mouth, "I was only four."
Finn shut his mouth, correctly interpreting Kurt's look that he better not say a word.
"She told me that the boy peacocks are very colorful while the girl peacocks are just drab. She said this little peacock reminded her of me." He smiled a sad smile as he remembered her face when she told him that story.
"Kurt…"
"It's okay, Finn."
"Umm, I was going to ask what this it…?" He held up a tiny porcelain doll.
Again, Kurt took it from his hand. "You don't have to know everything do you, Finn?" He really didn't mean to snap at him, but looking at all this stuff always made him feel a little sad.
Finn didn't seem to take offense and once again, correctly, didn't say anything.
As Kurt moved things around something sparkly seemed to catch Finn's attention. Kurt noticed what he was looking at. "My tiara collection," he said fondly.
Finn didn't say a word. Kurt could tell he didn't know what to say. It probably was strange to have a boyfriend who had a tiara collection. Maybe he thought that Kurt wanted to be a princess and wanted Finn to be his Prince Charming. It wasn't like that at all. Most of the tiaras belonged to his mom.
"Here it is," Kurt said. He produced a small notebook that had hearts and flowers drawn all over it. Kurt opened it up and the first page said "Finn" at the top. Underneath that it said "Reasons I want to be with him". He held it out to the other boy. As Finn took hold of it, Kurt reluctantly released his grip.
"Um, Kurt?" Finn said looking through the book. "There's a lot of stuff here."
"I know, Finn," he said as he put the rest of the things back away. "There are 304 reasons. What did you expect?"
"I don't know, but I can't read all this." Then he looked up at Kurt. "Why don't you read it to me?"
"That would take forever, Finn."
"Oh, yeah."
Kurt watched as Finn tried to figure out a solution. He knew he could have helped him, but this was Finn's idea. Let him come up with something.
And then he did. Kurt knew that because a huge smile appeared on his face. Kurt wasn't sure he even wanted to know, but he waited patiently for Finn to share his idea.
"Let's make a game of it, Kurt."
Kurt almost made a sarcastic remark about how his feelings weren't all a game, but he decided against it. Finn just looked too damn happy and after all the moping of the last few days, it was if someone had turned the lights on really bright. Kurt wasn't going to be the one to turn them off again. Of course, once Finn saw some of the things on the list…
"So here's what we can do, Kurt. We can get the "Hat of Fate"… well, I mean make our own and then put all the numbers in it and…"
"Finn." Kurt couldn't help it, he had to interrupt. "You're going to tear up 304 pieces of paper and write the numbers on them?"
"No, probably not," he agreed, looking a little dejected.
"You could just guess a number," Kurt suggested. "And then read what I have for that number."
"That does make more sense," Finn said. "But could you read it off? It just sounds better when you say it."
"Okay, but the original rules apply."
"What do you mean?"
"I tell you something on the list, and you give me a kiss."
"Okay," Finn said. "You drive a hard bargain, Kurt." Then gave him a lopsided smile, and Kurt was reminded again of reason number ten.
They sat on Kurt's bed as Finn thought of a number.
"Number one," Finn said finally.
"I don't even need to look at the book for this one, Finn," he said. "It was the reason I started liking you in the first place. Finn is my knight in shining armor."
At Finn's confused look, he explained his reasoning. "It was 8th grade and Puck had slammed me into the lockers. You stood up for me."
"Oh, cool. Although, I don't really remember that," he added sheepishly.
"It doesn't matter, Finn."
Kurt decided to accept his reward before Finn started really thinking about it and feeling bad.
"Now for my kiss…" He leaned in but just before their lips touched, he paused. "I missed you, Finn," he whispered before kissing the other boy softly.
Almost immediately, Finn deepened the kiss. "I missed you, too, Kurt," he murmured between hungry kisses. "I'm sorry, I've been such an…"
"No, Finn. It's not your fault. I'm sorry."
They kissed again, and Finn pushed him back on the bed, stretching out beside him. Finn kissed his face and neck. Although Kurt didn't like it when they argued, he definitely enjoyed making up. He was about to remind Finn that their parents were just upstairs when Finn's hands wandered, and he lost his ability to speak. Instead he moaned against Finn's neck. His last thought was that maybe Finn would forget about the list…
It was almost as if the other boy could read his mind.
"Kurt?"
"Hmmm."
"Are you trying to distract me?" Finn pulled back, a smirk on his face.
Kurt wanted to protest that Finn had been the one to increase the intensity… but decided there was no point. He sat up and straightened his bangs.
"Pick another number, Finn."
Finn thought for a second. "Nineteen."
Kurt consulted his list.
"Finn looks really good in his football costume."
"Uniform, Kurt."
"Whatever," he said as he leaned in close to kiss Finn. At the last second, he changed direction and kissed Finn on the cheek.
Finn just smiled. "Number twenty-five."
"Finn has beautiful brown eyes."
Finn smiled at him as Kurt leaned in and kissed him on his chin.
"Number two hundred," he said a little breathlessly.
"Finn looks good in a cowboy hat."
And images of Finn dancing to Last Name in his black cowboy hat flooded Kurt's mind. Finn was obviously thinking along the same lines.
"So does Kurt."
"Thanks," Kurt whispered as he rewarded Finn by kissing him softly on the corner of his mouth.
Finn groaned, obviously getting frustrated by Kurt's teasing. Kurt almost felt sorry for him but then he remembered how Finn had accused him of trying to distract him. Not that it mattered; they both knew Kurt wouldn't last long. The next kiss in fact would be one that Finn wouldn't forget soon.
"Number Two hundred and twenty."
Kurt smiled as he looked for the corresponding number on his list, but when he found it his smile faded. He had hoped they could avoid some of the things on the list but evidently he couldn't get that lucky. Maybe he could just lie. Would it be so bad if it saved Finn's feelings? But he had hesitated too long. Finn was looking at him as if all his suspicions had been correct.
"Do I need to repeat the number, Kurt?"
"No, Finn," he said with resignation. "I just…"
"Here, let me do it then," Finn said taking the book from his hands. "Number two hundred and twenty… I want to be with Finn because… I find his stupidity charming."
"Finn," he started but Finn interrupted him.
"Let's just keep going, okay? Two hundred and twenty one," he continued reading down the list. "Finn thinks the square root of four is rainbows."
Kurt couldn't say anything as Finn looked at him, obviously hurt.
"Is this what you think of me Kurt?" he asked, standing up angrily. "God! Brittany is the one who thinks that, not me. I mean I don't know what the square root of four is, but I'm not dumb enough to think it's rainbows. That's not even a number, Kurt."
He was yelling now, and Kurt couldn't really blame him. Still he had tried to avoid this. Finn was the one who insisted on seeing the list.
"Finn…"
Finn threw the book on the bed. "Just forget it, Kurt. I'm done," he said angrily as he started to walk out.
"I never meant for you to even see the list, Finn," Kurt said standing up.
He turned back around. "Oh, that makes me feel so much better!"
"It's just a stupid list, Finn," Kurt yelled in response. "It doesn't mean anything!"
"Really," Finn replied. "If it doesn't mean anything, then why do you keep it in your hope chest next to your tiara collection?" And with that, he turned and walked up the stairs and out of the room.
Kurt sat back down on his bed. His heart was still pounding from their exchange, but the anger was gone, replaced by sadness. Finn had sounded so dejected at the end. Kurt knew he was hurt more than anything. And he had never meant to hurt him.
As Kurt stared unseeing at his math book, lying uselessly on the bed, he made a decision. Although he understood why Finn was so upset, there was really no reason for it. He wasn't going to let Finn and his insecurities make them both miserable.
Finn was going to listen to him. He had to… Kurt wasn't going to give him a choice.
A/N: Thanks for reading! I have one more chapter of this story.
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