I tossed and turned all night. My house in Victor's Village was so quiet that I considered padding over to Haymitch's and crashing on his couch, I was that lonely. Instead I found myself laying on my side, staring out the open window wondering what Katniss was doing, how she had been, if she would want to see me.

I had spent the last few months in the Capitol under Dr Aurelius's care and I had been staying with Delly. Delly was the one person that I'd learned to trust again since my "condition" came about. Some days I felt like myself and on my bad days I didn't know what I felt it was all so fleeting. Anger, betrayal, sadness, rage, grief. I hadn't had a bad episode in a few months but I was warned that coming back to District Twelve could cause set backs and I was to report to Dr Aurelius on a daily basis, as well as continue taking the pills that I was reluctantly swallowing daily.

I had watched the trial of Katniss Everdeen any time I could during my recovery in the Capitol. I hated every minute of it but it was the only way I was allowed to see her anymore. I was terrified that I'd come back to Twelve only to find that she'd taken her own life the way that she had tried to do that day in the Capitol, the day she landed an arrow in Alma Coin's heart. Coin was the former President of District Thirteen and briefly all of Panem.

Closing my eyes for a moment I could still see Katniss turn, training the arrow on Coin instead of President Snow. I could see Coin's lifeless body topple over the balcony as the guards converged around Katniss. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest as stumbled over chairs and people just to stop her. We'd been through so much together, even though some of it was still a vague memory to me now. I remembered what she had told me, "That's what you and I do. Protect each other." And all I could think about in that moment was protecting her, even if it meant protecting her from herself.

It was sometime after four in the morning when I had thrown off the covers and tugged on a t-shirt and jeans. Sleep was unforeseeable especially when I was so anxious to see Katniss. I closed the window before heading downstairs. The sound of my unnatural footsteps filled the silence around me as my prosthetic thudded on each wooden step. I needed fresh air so I pulled on my coat and headed out the back door for a walk.

I could see the flicker of light from Katniss's window but Haymitch's was completely dark. Probably too drunk to feel the cold, I decided as I made my way closer to the edge of the woods. That's when I spotted them, the scraggly bushes that Primrose Everdeen had been named after, Evening Primroses. I walked over to them, my eyes examining them carefully when it dawned on me that I could plant these in her memory for Katniss.

Prim's death was not something I would ever forget. Tentatively I ran my fingers over the scar above my eyes, the hair had grown back in nicely but the scar remained. For a moment I leaned against a tall pine, fighting the stabbing pain in my chest that surfaced along with the memories of the explosions, the sounds of the children screaming and what happened next.

My fingers gripped the bark tracing lines over the texture of the wood as I tried to focus on reality. I wished that those memories weren't real, that perhaps they were some falsification put in my head by the Capitol but Prim's death happened after the hijacking. I knew it was real, every part of that memory was real and I knew that as bad as it hurt me, it must be hurting Katniss infinitely more.

The next hour I spent digging up the scraggly bushes and carrying them up to Katniss's home one by one. As the sun appeared, I took a moment to sit down on her front steps and watch the light break through the clouds sending an array of colors across the sky. Katniss had been right when she said my favorite color was orange like the sunset. The same orange was displayed in the sky now and it was magnificent.

I picked up my shovel and began digging again under the pale morning light. I had just finished planting the first two bushes when I heard the noise from the front of the house and I stopped digging. I stood there a moment leaning against the shovel in my grip when she appears, running around the side of the house and then stopping abruptly as our eyes meet. I'd spent all night anxious to see her but I'm rendered speechless as I take in the sight of her.

"You're back," Katniss says looking startled.

"Dr. Aurelius wouldn't let me leave the Capitol until yesterday," I say. "By the way, he said to tell you he can't keep pretending he's treating you forever. You have to pick up the phone."

I'm looking her over now, her dark locks matted as she attempts to push them out of her face. Immediately I'm upset with Haymitch. I'll have to make sure and thank him for keeping her alive, it was the least he could do. I've never seen Katniss this thin, not even the day I took a beating with a rolling pin for burning the bread.

I'm unable to hide the frown that has crept across my face now as I stand up straighter, fighting the urge to walk over and pull her into my arms. I can see by the look on her face though that she's not eager for my affection.

"What are you doing?" She says.

"I went to the woods this morning and dug these up. For her. I thought we could plant them along the side of the house."

For a moment I'm certain she's angry with me, I can see her mouth open as if she wants to yell but then she closes it again before simply nodding. She then turns disappearing around the side of the house just as quickly as she appeared. I stand there for a few moments, still processing what just happened as I catch my breath. I begin digging again recalling every detail of the young woman who just fled from my view but determined to finish my task. Somehow I feel like I've failed her, she looks so broken and frail but I remind myself again that we're both alive against all the odds.

As I pat down the earth around the last rose bush I try to take comfort in the fact that things will be different now. I just hope I can make Katniss see that too.

[A/N: Thank you all for reading, I'll try to keep this updated often. Most of the dialog for this chapter is directly quotation from Mockingjay, so all the credit goes to Suzanne Collins. Please continue to review! I really appreciate all the feedback and encouragement!]