Jeb didn't kill him. "He couldn't. He's grown soft." Ian was pissed. Jared was pissed. Jamie was pissed. Doc was pissed. Melanie was pissed. Me? I was... relieved. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if they had done something to hurt Kyle. After all, he was a human. He belonged with them more than I did. In the end he didn't even have to leave. Sure, there was talk about it. They were seriously considering it. I talked them out of it though. Sticking by my story, they could never fully prove what happened. Sure, everybody knew the truth- I was a terrible liar, but without it being confirmed, what could they do? Some people would be just as angry as Jared or Ian should Kyle have been killed or kicked out. People like Sharon or Maggie. They probably wish he had raped me. Then killed me after it was over. They really hated me.
Kyle didn't speak to me. I didn't even look his way. I was afraid to. I couldn't tell anybody this, but every time somebody even said his name to where I could hear, there were two instantaneous reactions that occurred. One; I got scared. I shook. The images of that night appeared in my head and I wanted to cry and run away and disappear. But then another thing happened, one I couldn't explain. And frankly, this one scared me more; I remembered the way he caressed my cheek- before he slapped me. Then the second time. The time he had wiped away the tear drop. Some part of me could imagine him staring down at my lips, slowly bending his head down to touch his own to them.
What is your problem? Melanie would screech. Every time I would start to imagine the feel of them moving against my own, she would interrupt, calling me crazy. Telling me I needed to go see a psychologist. He tried to rape you, she would remind me. He wasn't trying to kiss you, or tell you he loves you. He wanted you to feel pain. He wanted it to be worse than killing you. I knew she was right, but I couldn't help myself. I wondered if his lips felt like Ian's. Melanie was right. I was insane.
Yet, I could still hear him as he sat on my stomach, hand running down my face. "It makes me want more... more of you." There was something in his words that made my heart flutter. It was completely irrational, but I felt it anyways. What was wrong with these human bodies? Why did they have such crazy emotions. Being a soul hadn't prepared me for something life... this. My kind didn't really mate. Or when we didn't it wasn't like it was on Earth, with humans. There wasn't any emotions. It was for survival, to further a species. Here, it was something more. This wasn't for survival, it was for pleasure. But then if it were for pleasure, why would somebody force someone unwilling to do such an act? What purpose did thrusting yourself upon someone else serve? I couldn't justify it. I was so accustomed to politeness and love. Hate had never been a feeling I'd felt before I came to Earth. It was all so confusing. Maybe this was why some part of me was being drawn to Kyle. I wanted to understand. I wanted to know why he had tried to do what he did. If you hated somebody, wasn't it easier just to kill them rather than putting yourself through the trouble of... the other thing?
I threw my head down into my hands. It didn't make sense! It drove me insane. I just couldn't rationalize it. Humans don't always make rational decisions, Melanie said from inside my mind. What good did that serve, I wondered. Why make a choice if you hadn't calculated the outcome? It would have been easier just to kill me. It would have saved him a lot of trouble.
But it wouldn't have hurt you as bad, Melanie whispered. Images of him stroking my cheek rushed forward. I couldn't imagine that Kyle wanting to hurt me. The hand had felt so gentle, like he wanted me to be happy. Like he cared for me. He doesn't. He tried to rape you. He wanted to HURT you. What is so hard to understand about that? Melanie's words cut me like a knife. She was right, but some part of me wanted to argue. 'That doesn't make sense!' it called. But it did. It made perfect sense. Still, my mind wouldn't let go of the memory of his fingers. They felt like Ian's. He looked like Ian. He even sounded like Ian. Maybe it was because he reminded me so much of Ian, that I felt like this. Maybe, because my body didn't respond to Ian the way that my soul did, it had forced it's into liking Kyle, because he had tried to force himself into... well, me. Yes. That made sense. It was rational. I could live with that explanation. It wasn't Kyle I wanted. Just the way he looked and sounded. I really wanted Ian, and Kyle was as close as my body would allow.
But then why did my body respond to Kyle? It was Melanie's body, I reminded myself. She was responding to him. She was the one that thought about him at night. She was the one that remembered his touch, and blocked out all the pain he had also provided.
No, Melanie said, that's not my body. That's your mind. Body's don't think.
"Are you okay, Wanda?" It was Kyle's voice that pulled me from my thoughts. I shivered. But, no, it was softer than the Kyle I had always heard these last few months. 'Not softer than the way he spoke when he was caressing your cheek,' that traitorous part of my mind whispered. I blocked it all out. It was Ian that was speaking to me. The Ian that I loved. The Ian that loved me. Not the Kyle that had tried to hurt me. The Kyle that had stroked my face so tenderly...
"I'm fine," I whispered, but it was a lie. Ian knew it too. He pulled me into a hug. I pressed my face into his chest. "I love you," I whispered into his shirt.
He held me tighter. "I love you too, Wanda," he said. "I'll never let anybody hurt you ever again. I'll make him pay for what he's done. I promise." He sounded so sincere, like he really would kill Kyle. It scared me. Not just because of the gentle nature of my kind, but because I really didn't want Kyle dead for some reason. I wanted him... near me. Holding me. Telling him he loved me. It scared me...