Title: Very Serious Adults Speaking About Very Serious Subjects
Rating: K
Summary: Derek and Tyler have a Very Serious Conversation about zombies.
Author Notes: You will never get me to change the title of this short, never ever ever ever. Look, I made references!
"Theoretically," Tyler said, dramatically waving his sleeve of crackers. "If there was a zombie apocalypse, we would have a pretty decent chance of survival."
Derek nodded at Tyler, not looking up from the case report he was reading. It had been a particularly busy day at Caduceus USA, and Derek and Tyler were taking a much needed break in one of the hospital's less frequented break rooms.
"True," Derek said thoughtfully after a moment. He pushed away the report before him and pulled down another one off the depressingly high stack next to him. "We've had experience with both large and small scale epidemics."
"Right!" Tyler said. "We'd definitely know how A) not become zombies ourselves, B) stop the walking dead from getting to us, and C) lead the world in World War Z, saving us all."
Derek pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know about saving the world. We could probably prevent the spread of the, uh, zombie virus, I suppose."
"Oh yeah. You're probably useless with a gun," Tyler said. "Remember our memorable week in Archery Club in college? I swear that's why Dean Shepherd didn't like us! Those practice arrows were surprisingly sharp."
"Hey, I'm a surgeon now! Archery was way different," Derek said incredulously. "I have great aim!"
"Sure, sure, but what about strength, huh? You've been looking pretty scrawny lately, Stiles."
In mock bravado, Derek threw his pen down on the table."Well, I bet I could still take you, Chase!"
Tyler beckoned at Derek with his best imitation of a kung-fu master. "Bring it on, dude!"
Suddenly out of no where, the two heard a voice moan, "Brain!"
Derek and Tyler locked eyes, and then simultaneously snapped their heads in the direction of the door... only to see Leslie hustling into the room, clutching at her temple.
"Ugh! I feel like my brain is exploding!" Leslie collapsed onto the couch next to Tyler. "I have a massive headache. Today feels like it's never going to end! I don't ever went to see antibiotic gel again... Wait, why are you guys looking at me like that?"
Derek pointedly moved his report closed to his face. "No reason."