Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Author's Note: Characters may be out of character. This fanfiction has nothing to do with the manga/anime and will never be related to it. This will be yaoi, which means boy x boy. If you do not like that genre, please do not read. Rated M to be on the safe side.

Warning: Rated M for mature content.

Chapter Two: Cursed

Hisoka sat in his desk, staring out the window as lecture droned on. Once the bell rang, he packed up and followed the crowd of students heading to the cafeteria. It was lunch and then afterward there would be a sermon to attend. He was beginning to tire, wanting to skip out on the rest of the classes after the sermon. Sleep seemed very tempting. Stifling a yawn, he slipped his bible into his bag and got in line for lunch. He chose to eat braised balsamic chicken with brown rice. After getting his food, he sat down at a table far from the other students, alone like usual. He liked to eat in peace without others to bother him anyway. First he prayed and then he ate his food slowly. It wasn't until he heard someone settling down across from him did he raised his eyes. He glanced up from under long, blond eyelashes and stared at the black haired father smiling at him.

"Alone again?" Tsuzuki asked with a grin.

"...yeah," he replied and then promptly ignored the Father.

He could hear the man talking, but he never replied, eating silently like usual. The only difference was that other students were beginning to look at him. They never did, but since Father Tsuzuki was sitting across from him and chatting away, he was getting attention. He heard one of them whisper how rude he was for ignoring a priest. He scowled and glared over at Tsuzuki. This was his fault. If only he would leave him alone then the other students would not pay any heed to him. They would ignore like the cursed person he was. "Why are you so intent on talking to me?" Hisoka asked, interrupting Tsuzuki's rant.

Tsuzuki stared at him, blinking and then smiling, "Because you look like you need a friend."

With a roll of his eyes, he finished eating and quickly got up. Grabbing his bag and tray, he walked over to the server counter and set his tray down for the students on duty to clean it up. Turning on his heels, he started walking out of the cafeteria. A few seconds later, he heard footsteps following after him. Hisoka cluck his tongue, coming to a halt and turning around to face the following man. Tsuzuki nearly crashed into him, but quickly caught himself, smiling sheepishly down at him. "I suggest you stop following me, Father Tsuzuki. It may spread rumors," Hisoka said.

"Rumors? What kind?" Tsuzuki asked innocently.

"Rumors such as...that I have seduced you, a father, a priest...a man."

"What nonsense is that? I merely want to befriend a student of mine."

"No teacher or priest should be friends with a student. You are the guider, the one who leads us with God's words. Nothing more."

"Well I don't like to think that way."

Sighing, he shook his head and turned again. There was no use talking sense to the man. He started walking again with Tsuzuki following closely behind in silence. Suddenly, a group of students trapped Tsuzuki, leaving Hisoka alone to continue his walk to his destination. While he got farther away from the crowd, he heard one of the students say something to Tsuzuki.

"You shouldn't get close to him, Father Tsuzuki," the boy said.

"Why not?" Tsuzuki asked.

"Oh? You don't know?" another student asked.

"Hm?" Tsuzuki muttered, "What?"

"He is cursed, Father Tsuzuki!" replied another, "Anyone who gets close to him dies. Did you know, his fraternal twin brother died, here at this place!"

Hisoka scowled, clocking out the rest of the conversation. It was not his fault or so he wanted to believe. He didn't blame the other students for calling him cursed. It was true anyway. If only he had not been born, maybe his brother would still be alive. He would be happy and living with the one person he loved. A sudden nausea overcame him. He stumbled, but quickly leaned against the wall for support. He tilted his head down, taking deep breaths. The scent of fresh flowers invade his sense of smell. A sign of oncoming spring. He opened his eyes and turned his head. He stared at the garden. Fading images of Hijiri running through the garden appeared in front of him.

"Hisoka! Look!" Hijiri yelled, "A rainbow!"

"Slow down Hijiri," Hisoka said, following after his twin brother with a small smile on his face, "If Abbot Gerald saw us here, we're going to get a big lecture."

"Who cares!"

Hisoka rolled his eyes. He should have known Hijiri didn't care much for the sermon they were suppose to attend. He watched on silently as Hijiri spread his arms wide. For a second, he thought he could see wings spreading from his brother's back. Gasping at the sight, he wanted to reach out and hold onto him. It was as if Hijiri would take flight and leave him all alone.

"What are you two doing?" came a voice.

Startled, Hisoka quickly whipped to the side. Father Mizuki stood in the hall, watching the two of them with a smile on face. Hisoka blushed and glanced down as Hijiri quickly rushed to his side and apologized, telling Father Mizuki he merely wanted to show him a rainbow. He heard Father Mizuki chuckle. Slowly, he looked up and stared at the Father.

"Alright, I think you two have seen enough. Come now, you're suppose to be at the sermon," Father Mizuki said, "Let us go, you two."

"Okay," Hijiri said, wrapping his hand around Hisoka, "Let's go big bro."

Nodding his head, he allowed Hijiri to lead him. They strolled over to Father Mizuki's side and walked with him.

From where he stood, he could see the translucent image of the group walking toward him. Taking a gasp, Hisoka watched as the images walk through him and disappeared with Hijiri's fading voice floating away with the wind. He wanted to cry, to reach out to the fading picture of Hijiri and cling to it. Turning in hopes to see him again, he only found an empty hall. He shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself, muttering a prayer under his breath.

"And what are you doing here all alone?" asked a cold voice.

Gasping, Hisoka looked over his shoulder. Mursaki stood close behind him, staring at him intently. He trembled, shaking his head. His voice was lost somewhere as his body racked with the cold, dead images of his dead brother and Father Mizuki. "I..." he stared, but let his sentence trail.

"Is it your brother again?" Muraki asked.

"His soul haunts me."

"No such thing. His soul has joined God. Why would he ever haunt you? You are his dear, beloved brother."

"He cannot forgive me. Him and...Father Mizuki. They cannot forgive me, so their souls haunt me. I am tainted...I have sinned Father Muraki. I cannot go on."

"Suicide is a sin in itself as well, Hisoka. You must live."

"But..."

"Hush now child."

Muraki pulled him into a cold embrace. His continued to shake in the Father's arm. Being his arms brought back memories of the night of Hijiri's death. It was his secret...and Father Muraki's as well. He screamed and pushed Muraki away. One look at the Father told him Muraki did not feel a bit of sympathy. In bright, warm sunlight of the day, Hisoka felt cold. Muraki was smiling at him, a chilling smile that sent shivers down his spine. He ran away from the older man, afraid for himself. He burst into his room, closing the door behind him with a loud thud. The cruel smile of the Father dressed in white plagued him. Sliding onto the floor with his back pressed against the door, he pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. His body quivered violently as choked sobs escaped his lips. He wanted to puke at the flickering images of Hijiri's dead body. "No...no," he sobbed. It hurt to see it replay over his head. He felt alone in the world. No one would ever understand the pain he went through. No one would ever understand the secret he held. Alone in the world, alone wherever he went. He could never be saved.

A knock on his door stirred him from his sleep. Groggily, he sat up from his bed, rubbing his eyes. He swung his feet over the edge of the bed and quietly walked over to the door. One look out the window told him it was still in the afternoon. He hadn't slept for that long. He opened the door and stared at Father Tsuzuki. He blinked and then asked, "Yes?"

"You didn't come to the sermon after lunch. I was worry," he said softly, "Are you alright? You look a little pale."

"I...am fine," Hisoka replied, "Just tired."

"I see...can I come in?"

Hisoka stepped aside, allowing Tsuzuki to walk pass him. He closed the door and turned, eying the man as he walked around the tiny dorm room. He eventually seated himself on the chair near the desk. Hisoka walked over to his bed and sat down. There was a long silence between them with Tsuzuki staring at him. It became uncomfortable with the man there, saying nothing, but only staring. He squirmed under the watchful gaze. "Wha-what?" he asked.

"Nothing...actually, I would wondering if something was bothering you. If you want to talk, I'm here to listen," Tsuzuki replied gently, "Talk to me."

A sigh left his lips. He turned his gaze away, staring out the square window. He could not tell Tsuzuki what was bothering him. If he did, then the secret would be out. He could not let anyone else know of his sin. He shook his head, pressing his lips together into a thin line. He heard Tsuzuki sigh in disappointment, but even that did not tempt him to say a thing.

"I want to relieve you of the burden you carry," Tsuzuki whispered.

"What are you talking about?" Hisoka asked, hissing as he glared at the Father.

"Do not be mistaken. I did not hear this from other students. One look at you and I knew you were carrying a heavy burden. Your eyes were constantly staring off as if you weren't even here. You're always alone and you don't others to get near you. I want to know...I want to help you."

"There is nothing you can do."

"Is it about your brother?"

"How..." Hisoka frowned, looking away with a scowl. He should have known the other students would tell the man about the incident. Rumors had began to spread about his brother, saying he was a homosexual who seduced men to his bed and Father Mizuki was his target. The rumors didn't seem to affect his brother, but for him, it did. He didn't like it. A few weeks after the rumors spread, his brother was found dead in the church. His body was mutilated and placed before the altar as if he was some sacrifice. Three days later, Father Mizuki's body was found off the shore of the school. His injuries were similar to Hijiri's. There was investigation, but there was no lead and eventually the case went cold. That was only a year ago. "My brother...was precious to me," Hisoka whispered, not knowing why he was telling Tsuzuki, "He was everything. He was like an angel...one time, I saw wings on his back and I felt as if he would fly away from me. I never thought it would be true. And I was..." Hisoka choked on his words. He could not say them. No matter how much he knew it was his fault, he could not say the words.

"It is not your fault," Tsuzuki whispered, moving over to sit next to him and wrapping his arms around.

He did not know why, but being in Tsuzuki's embrace made him feel protected. He broke into tears, wrapping his arms around the other man. No one had ever told him it wasn't his fault. All the looks he received from everyone always accused him. And he couldn't agree more with them. It was his fault. He was cursed to a lonely life.

Tsuzuki cooed, hushing him, "It is alright."

"No...no..." Hisoka sobbed and then pulled away from Tsuzuki, "You should not come near me."

"Why?"

"Because I am cursed."

"I do not believe the words of the other students."

"But it is true!"

Hisoka stood, walked away from Tsuzuki. His back turned toward the other man as he faced the window. He stared out of it, his hand pressed against the glass. For if it was not him, then Hijiri would still be alive. Father Mizuki would not have suffered the same fate as Hijiri. He should have been the one to die. He should have been killed. A shuddering sigh left him as he leaned his forehead and tapped it against the window. "I am cursed..." he whispered.

"Why do you say that?" Tsuzuki asked.

The words left him easily, "Because I am the one who killed Hijiri and Father Mizuki..."