Chapter 2
Nikki smiled as she turned from her book to see the number 1, Governor Stewart, standing in the door of her cell.
'To what do I owe this pleasure?" Nikki asked standing to her feet, grinning.
Helen silently stepped into the small room, closing the door gently behind her. 'Sit down Nikki, I've got some bad news." She began.
Nikki sat on the bed, trying to wait patiently as Helen sat beside her. "Helen, tell me." She pleaded as she looked into Helen's eyes seeing that whatever this news was it had affected her deeply. Nikki reached forward and took Helen's trembling hand in her own. "Tell me." She whispered. She hated to see Helen so distressed. Hated even more being kept in the dark. She knew there were so many things going on in the life that existed on the other side of the gates of Larkhall. She felt insanely jealous at the thought of so many things going on in Helen's life that she couldn't be part of. But for once, Helen had sought her out, was sitting here wanting to tell her something, and Nikki tried her best to wait patiently. It had been a long time since Helen had felt safe enough to confide in her.
"It's Yvonne's daughter." Helen said finally, Relieved that she had not been the one designated to break the news to Yvonne. She didn't envy Karen that task.
"Lauren?" Nikki asked.
"You know her?" Helen sounded surprised.
"Yeh, of course." Nikki answered. "I mean no, I've never met her. I feel like I know her. Yvonne thinks the world of her, I've heard a lot about her. You know what it's like in here, we're all family," As Nikki spoke the words she realised that Helen didn't really know what it was like, not from this side of the bars. Probably didn't understand how close you became to your fellow inmates. How you could feel you knew Lauren Atkins even though you had never met the girl.
"She's been killed." Helen whispered gently.
"What?" Was all Nikki could respond. "How?"
"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss it."
"You what? You can't just drop that on me with no explanation. What are you telling me for then? Just to see me squirm?"
"Nikki stop. Yvonne isn't taking it well." Helen explained.
"No of course she's bloody not taking it well for fuck's sake." Nikki raised her voice in anger. "She's been locked up in this shit hole, away from her kid, only able to visit for half an hour once a fortnight, and then you tell her that her kid is dead. How is she supposed to take that?"
Helen ignored Nikki's angry tirade. At another time it would have angered her, made her defensive. She didn't make the law, she didn't sentence Yvonne to jail, she didn't commit the crime in the first place. She couldn't take responsibility for those things and it hurt her deeply that Nikki often seemed to lose sight of reality, to blame Helen for the short comings of the law and the prison system. Could she not see how hard Helen was fighting the system, how much blood, sweat and tears went into her efforts to make things better? Nikki never saw it like that. Nikki was desperate to lay the blame at someone's feet- and more often than not, that someone was Helen.
Helen pushed her personal bitterness aside. This was about Yvonne. Not her, not Nikki. "She can't accept it, she's completely in denial. I just thought…" Helen's voice trailed off.
"Thought what? I'd come along and do your dirty work for you? It's all too much for you, too hard to deal with, requires too much compassion and energy and you just couldn't be bothered, So you thought- why not dump the whole thing on Nikki?"
"No." Helen answered softly. "I broke the rules telling you this. It's confidential information. I just thought Yvonne could use a friend to talk to."