My Immortal
Chapter Two
Author's Note: The lyrics to "My Immortal" belong to Evanescence. The lyrics to "Pain" belong to Three Days Grace. And the few lyrics of "Spin" belong to Lifehouse
I had finally gotten Jude to work. It only took me ten times longer than usual. I was on my lunch break and decided to skip eating and go check on Jude. I found her in Studio A, recording a song. Kwest smiled at me as I entered the mixing booth and my heart did a little flip.
"Hey Sades." He said, "What's up?"
"Hey Kwest." I replied, "Can't a big sister check in on her little sister?"
He laughed. "Here I was hoping you were visiting me."
"Sorry to disappoint." I sighed, "I've been worried about her lately."
"Me too." Kwest agreed, "Tommy did a number on her."
"I know. What's she recording?"
"Another depressing song." He replied.
We stopped talking as he hit the button for the audio. Jude's voice filled the room and I listened to the words of her song.
"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase"
As she sang, I could swear I saw tears glistening in her eyes. And I felt my throat tighten.
"When you cried I'd wipe away
All of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away
All of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me"
I felt tears sting my eyes. Jude's depression was growing deeper, her words were a just a tiny reflection of that. I heard her voice waver as she started the next chorus.
"You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase---"
Jude stopped singing as a sob escaped her throat. She pulled her earphones off her ears and sunk to the floor, crying. I went to her and knelt beside her on the floor.
"Oh, Jude." I whispered, taking her into my arms.
My little sister buried her head into my shoulder and I heard her whimper.
"Oh, God, it hurts, Sadie." She whispered, "I feel like I'm dying. I can't go on like this."
I felt tears sting my eyes. I can't handle her tears. I held her until she stopped crying. Jude sat up and wiped her eyes, which smeared her eyeliner underneath her eyes, giving her raccoon eyes. Not very attractive. I glanced down at my shirt, wondering if she left tell-tale traces of eyeliner on my shirt.
"Sorry." Jude mumbled, wiping at my shoulder, removing the few black marks that were left behind.
"It's alright." I assured her, giving her one less thing to worry about, "I can get it dry cleaned. Do you feel any better?"
"No." she replied, shaking her head.
I smiled weakly at her and gently ran my thumb under her eyes, removing the eyeliner. I then wiped it on her sleeve. Jude gave me a funny look and I shrugged.
"It's black on black. It won't show or anything."
She laughed weakly and got to her feet. I followed suit and gave her a once over. Jude looked calmer now. She exhaled heavily and smiled at me.
"Thanks, Sades." She said.
"What are big sisters for?" I replied.
"I'm gonna go find Mason." Jude sighed, "He'll cheer me up."
"Good idea."
I watched Jude leave the room and sighed softly. I went back into the mixing booth. Kwest smiled at me.
"You're a good sister." He said.
"I have my moments."
Kwest stood and smiled.
"C'mon." he said softly, "I'm taking you to lunch."
I flashed him a smile. I wasn't going to protest that. An afternoon with a cute guy and free food, my spirits were looking up.
Lunch with Kwest had been great. He had charmed and I had flirted my Dior boots off. We entered the lobby arm-in-arm, he held the door open for me and I entered the lobby first. Once inside, I instantly stopped. Jude was laughing (which was a good thing). But she was laughing like a hyena on acid. For seemingly no reason.
Mason had an arm around her waist and was dancing with her.
"And the world keeps spinning 'round and my world is upside down!" she sang as he dipped her.
I looked at Kwest, who gave me a smile and a small shrug. Jude giggled and, literally, bounced over to me, bringing Mason with her.
"What is wrong with you?" I asked her as she threw her arms around my neck.
"I'm so happy, Sades!" she cried.
"What happened to being so depressed it hurt?" I asked, worried.
"Ignore her." Mason said, pulling her off of me, "She's on a complete sugar buzz."
"I've seen her on a sugar buzz before but it's never been like this."
"Well, I gave her two cappuccinos and a box of sweet-tarts and a bag of M & Ms."
"Um, that's insane." I rolled my eyes. No wonder.
"Man!" Kwest said, shaking his head, "Give her anything else?"
"I had a donut." Jude added.
Mason looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. "When did you eat that?"
"When you were getting me my second cappuccino." She replied.
Mason shook his head as Speed headed in our direction. He was frowning, which was rare for him.
"What's up!" Jude cried, still sounding ecstatic.
I shook my head and almost laughed out loud at the look on Speed's face. He looked positively scared.
"Um, Jude. Darius isn't happy." He said after a beat.
"About what?" she asked.
"The song. He said 'Stop being moopy. Quincy isn't worth it. Now write something that's bouncier.' End quote."
Jude sighed dramatically. "F---i---n---e."
She gave me a choke-hold hug and bounced away with Mason. I looked at Kwest again, who shrugged and shook his head.
"Well, I gotta get back in the booth." He said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you for lunch."
"Anytime."
I watched as he walked away (and checked out his butt) before I headed back to the reception desk.
A while later, Kwest paged me. Jude had finished her song and was about to record and he wanted me to be around in case Jude needed me. I sat in a chair beside Kwest and listened as Jude began to sing.
"Pain
Without Love
Pain
I can't get enough
Pain
I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
You're sick
Of feeling numb
You're not
The only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world
You can understand
This life
Is filled with hurt
When happiness
Doesn't work
Trust me
And take my hand
When the lights go out
You will understand."
I openly gaped at the lyrics of the song. iI like it rough/i What the ihell/i does that mean!
"Pain
Without Love
Pain
I can't get enough
Pain
I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Anger and Agony
Are better that misery
Trust me
I've got a plan
When the lights go up
You will understand
Pain
Without Love
Pain
I can't get enough
Pain
I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain
Without Love
Pain
I can't get enough
Pain
I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain
I know
That you're wounded
You know
That I'm here to save you
You know
I'm always here for you
I know
That you'll thank me later"
I listened to the song and felt odd. Her moods were going to one extreme to the next, just like her lyrics. In the back of my mind, I was beginning to get scared. Jude was turning into somebody I didn't even recognize.