AN: Thank you for the nice reviews everyone! I'm glad you've enjoyed it. This next chapter is completely improvised, since I've yet to figure out a clear plot. Even so, trigger warnings still apply- This story deals heavily with the topic of rape. You have been warned.

He didn't know just how much coffee was in his system by the time he was meant to be heading off to work. He didn't even know if it was healthy to be drinking that much. Of course it wasn't healthy, none of this was healthy. Starving himself of sleep wasn't healthy. But he needed to stay awake, he couldn't face the backs of his eyelids. Not again.

His whole body felt stiff as he forced himself to move. The dull ache in his lower half was still there, sending a small jolt through him at the sudden movement. He reminded himself it'd be gone soon. When it was gone he wouldn't have to think about it. He could go back to being normal, not worry anymore.

He looked a complete mess. Part of him wanted to turn away from the mirror, just go to work like this, not stare any longer. He needed to be presentable. He couldn't go in looking like this. There were shadows forming beneath his eyes, deep circles, standing out against the pale of his flesh. His hair was a complete mess and despite how much he tried to do something with it, it never seemed to look presentable. If he went in like this, people would ask questions. Why he looked such a mess, like he hadn't slept at all, like something had happened.

He growled, slamming his fist against the mirror. That wouldn't happen. He'd go in, same as always. No-one would ask questions. He'd look fine.

He froze as he reached his apartment door, a sudden strike of anxiety rippling through his body. What if that man was still out there, waiting for him? He couldn't take the long route, he was going to be late enough as it was. He'd have to pass that street, where it had happened. Would anyone even notice that something had happened? "Nothing is going to change." He spoke to himself, pushing down on his apartment door. "You're fine."

It was cold outside. The familiar wind nipped at him the moment he stepped out. You're fine. He repeated to himself in his mind. He was. He was going to work, just like any other day. His chest felt tight, his jaw tense. You're fine. Just walk. He stared at his feet, wiling himself to relax. Calm down his breathing, stop panicking. Nothing bad was going to happen.

He'd expected the anxiety to melt away when he reached the station. It was a place of safety after all. Why was his heart still hammering so madly in his chest? Why was he still so damn tense? You're fine! His minds' words were harsher this time, he clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms. He was ten minutes late, no-one would notice that, right? No-one would wonder why he'd taken so long. Why he couldn't even open the damn door- "Mako?" His entire body flinched and the hammering in his chest grew wilder.

He turned around, please don't say anything. "Sorry I'm late Chief."

Lin stared at him, expression unreadable. "You look like shit."

His mind went numb and he averted his gaze, looking back down at the ground. "W-woke up late." He hoped it would suffice. That the stutter would be taken as too much coffee. He smelt like coffee.

Lin raised an eyebrow. "That's unlike you." Her eyes were scanning him, picking out every little detail, every flaw in his appearance. "Rough night?"

His eyes darted back up at her, he swallowed wordlessly. Speak. "Uh, yeah. Trouble sleeping."

Lin nodded. Although he wouldn't be surprised if she'd read him like an open book and didn't believe a word he had said. "Don't show up late again. I was hoping you'd been an example to everyone else." She brushed past him, walking inside the building.

Mako watched her back retreating into the distance. He needed to go in. She'd be even more suspicious if he stayed outside. He set a quick course toward his office, ignoring the eyes of his colleagues. He just wanted to get his work done, that was all. Maybe he'd even stay overnight, anything to busy his mind.

The day went by quicker than he would have liked, he'd breezed through the paper work, a file ready to hand in of the details of his case. He set work on another one. It had distracted him, mostly. At least until it had begun to get late and he could see darkness out the windows. The horrible sense of dread began creeping up on him again. It was alright. He'd work over night. He wouldn't have to go home.

"Go home Mako." A hand on his shoulder and then sudden noise were enough to make him jump out of his skin, setting his nerves on edge again. Chief Beifong stood over him, an expression of mild concern on her face. "You're exhausted."

"I want to work on this case." He said hesitantly.

"You just started it. Work on it in the morning." He could feel the dread spreading up his body, beginning to invade the edges of his mind. "And tone down on the coffee, you drink anymore and you'll give yourself a heart attack." She was gesturing to the empty cups littering his desk and Mako shrunk down into his seat, a heavy weight of embarrassment pressing on him.

He couldn't argue back. What was he supposed to say? That he was terrified of going home? That even the thought of leaving the building made him feel sick? He could feel Lin's eyes on him, her expression deepening. "Are you alright kid?"

He nodded rapidly. "Y-yeah, I'm fine." She didn't believe him, the frown on her face said that. "You're right, I'm just tired. Should probably get some sleep if I'm going to be working on this in the morning." Her frown deepened.

"What's wrong?" She knew. He knew she'd know. She wasn't stupid, she could see right through him as if he were transparent. He was getting tense again, he willed himself to calm down. He couldn't tell her. This was his problem, not hers. She didn't need to know. She wouldn't know.

"N-nothings wrong." He was stuttering again, he cursed himself internally. Lin's grip on his shoulder tightened. Spirits, he wasn't get out of this.

"Something is clearly bothering you. You showed up late, looking like a complete shit pile no less. Have been jumpy as all hell, and now you're reluctant to leave." Shit, shit, shit. "Either you tell me now, or we can take all evening to figure this out. Whatever it is, is effecting your work. And I need all my staff at their best."

He couldn't tell her. She couldn't know. What was he supposed to say? His eyes searched the room desperately for an answer, even though he knew it would be fruitless. Calm down. He could feel his wind pipe closing up, his heart hammering against his ribs. She'll notice, calm down. He was shaking, Beifong drew her hand away from him, staring at him in confusion.

"Kid?"

Calm down! Despite his minds internal yelling, he couldn't. He couldn't even breathe. Stop! Beifong was staring at him. Stop it! And he was having a panic attack. He could work through this. He had last night. It wasn't difficult, just breathe. In, out. Why wasn't it working? Beifong was speaking at him, but her words fell death to his ears. He just wanted it to stop. He just wanted everything to be normal.

He was going to have to explain and that was even scarier than what he was currently experiencing. He couldn't get so worked up and then not say anything, Lin wouldn't let him. Her loud yell of his name was enough to bring him back to his senses. He was still scared, struggling to breathe. But he was aware of her, he worried expression, the frantic tone. He'd scared her. He didn't think he'd ever seen her scared at all.

He stared at her for a long time, unsure of what to say. He swallowed thickly, easing the panic back down his throat. At least he was calming down.

"This is why you need to tell me what's going on." She gestured to him, a slight fearful edge to her voice, although it clipped into irritation toward the end. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry." He didn't know what else to add. He was horribly aware to the shadows on the walls of the room however, how they crept up the walls, looming over him. He quickly cast his gaze back at Lin.

"I need an explanation."

He knew this was coming. He swallowed the rising fear. Closing his eyes briefly. He needed to clear his head. Think of a way around this. He could see the stone pavement beneath him, feel the body pressed against him, violated. He gasped. That wasn't real. It was over. "I can't."

"It'll be purely confidential. Just between us. No-one else has to know. Please kid, you've got me worrying about you."

Please just let me forget this. "I can't." He repeated. Beifong's gaze softened in to sadness. Was she that worried? "Please don't make me."

"If it's that bad then I need to know." She persisted.

She was Chief of Police. She could help him. Bring that man to justice. Make sure that this wouldn't ever happen again. He should be telling her. He should have come to her right away. But let her know that he just let someone violate him? That he didn't even fight back? He couldn't. He stared down at the desk in front of him, watching as the edges of the papers flicked as the breeze from outside ruffled them. "I was attacked." He stated suddenly, shocked at his own words.

Beifong nodded for him to continue. "Take your time if you need to."

He hesitated, should he continue? Maybe he could just say he didn't feel well, and try and go home? He'd already told her he was attacked. Might as well go through with it. "Last night." What had he gotten himself into?

AN: Well for something completely improvised, I think this came out pretty well.

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