I feel alive when you're beside me—"Time of Dying"

"And I'm getting out by myself this time!" I told him. "Although, I admit, you earned three years for pulling me out." He nodded, faking seriousness. I leaned over the edge of the cliff, looking at the water below. Somehow it didn't seem as appealing as it had five minutes earlier, looking at the incredibly long drop that I had jumped not to long ago.

"What, too cold for you?" Jacob questioned, smirking. It still looked bitterly cold, but it didn't bother me this time. That is, I was aware of the temperature—but somehow it didn't effect me anymore. I felt fine.

"No," I countered, steeling myself, not turning around, "I'm just… savoring the moment, this first time jumping as a werewolf. There's no way I'd just leap." I heard footsteps, and turned around just in time to see Jake grab my hand as he charged forward, dragging me with him. A split second later we were tumbling off the cliff.

"Way!" He yelled as we plummeted.

"I'm drowning you when we hit the bottom!" I screamed back, this time spreading my arms and legs like a skydiver. Unlike a skydiver, I had several hundred feet to fall instead of several thousand. The water rushed up to meet us and I collided with a painful crash. I kicked a few times and my head was above the surface. The currents were still tugging at me, but I shrugged them off and swam back to shore with relative ease.

This time, I wasn't looking for him. He didn't appear, either, leaving me in peace. My feet touched the bottom and I waded onto the small beach below the cliffs. Jacob splashed ashore a few seconds after me, still laughing.

"That was not funny!" I retorted, trying to keep a straight face.

"It was hilarious!" He countered, grinning. I sighed dramatically and looked away.

"So, we can't run on water?" I asked, glancing over at the waves.

"Nope." Jake shook head. "And I'd avoid touching silver if I were you. Just brushing up to it gives us nasty rashes."

"I'll have to get rid of a few things." I acknowledged. "Any other downsides?"

"Hey, it's a tiny price for what you get in exchange." Jake replied, raising his eyebrows. "And we get to eat normal food, unlike them." I knew what them he was referring to.

"Oh yeah, normal food, that's a big advantage." I teased. "So, are we bulletproof?"

"Mostly." He said, stressing the word. "Small things, like handguns, rifles, shotguns, we can heal from that pretty quickly. It doesn't even hurt much. Big stuff, like heavy machine guns or explosives—we haven't tried, and don't plan to."

"I'll make sure to avoid getting in fights with any tanks or helicopters." I replied with fake seriousness. "Thanks for the heads up." Something dawned on me. "Wait. We heal quickly from gunfire? How exactly did you guys find that out?"

"We, uh, drew straws." Jake admitted, embarrassed. "Paul was the test dummy." I burst out laughing at the mental picture.

"So you guys took turns shooting Paul?" I asked, almost falling over laughing. "Oh man! Teenage boys, they act the same whether immortal or not!"

"It was important we know!" Jake tried brushing it off. "Just in case!"

The following weekend…

I dreaded that moment for days. I had done nothing wrong, but I couldn't shake the guilt creeping up into my gut.

"Bella, it's Alice!" Charlie hollered up to my room. I knew who it was. I could smell her, as Jacob had before. The wonderful scent was gone, replaced by a burning chemical-like odor. I hate to admit it, but it slightly reminded me of the sickly smell of vomit. A quivering sensation rose up in my chest. I unhappily remembered Jake's warning—I hadn't phased yet, but the presence of a vampire could very easily trigger it. Calm down! This isn't Victoria! It's Alice!

"Be right down!" I yelled, ducking into the upstairs bathroom long enough to grab a cup and fill it halfway with water. I trotted down the stairs, carefully holding the glass in my right hand.

"Bella, how are you dear?" Alice asked cheerfully; my scent hadn't hit her yet.

"I'm great." I replied honestly, smiling despite the tremors in my limbs… and she got a whiff of me. Her expression flickered, doubt and shock flashing across her face. The shaking nearly doubled and I gulped the water, then pretended to choke on it. Charlie looked alarmed at my coughing and approached, ready to pat me on the back. I waved him off, real fear sweeping through me.

"I'm fine." I managed to cough out. "I'm just gonna step out for some air." And privacy. My meaning wasn't lost on Alice. Charlie nodded.

"Don't choke yourself." He warned, returning to the shotgun he was cleaning. He had been using it on his 'wolf hunts' and, from what I had heard, ended up shooting a few rattlesnakes on the hike.

"What did he do to you?" Alice demanded as soon the door shut behind us. I forced myself to be calm, knowing exactly who the "he" was that she was referring to.

"He made me strong enough to protect my father and myself." I told her, unable to keep the triumph out of my voice. "I'm part of the pack now. I'm not helpless anymore, and I never will be again."

"I don't believe this…" Alice muttered to herself. "Do you know what this will do to Edward?" I had anticipated that question, but it still hurt, badly. I wasn't over him yet, not entirely.

"He'll live." I shot back, surprising myself with my coldness. "Let me ask you something, Alice. Do you know what it was like, for me, being around Edward?" She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. "I was a fragile little human, and he was an all-powerful immortal. I felt so… so incredibly inept. Trying to win his favor, elicit some sign of happiness or approval from him." Alice looked somewhat exasperated. "When I'm around Jake, I'm at peace. I don't have to worry about matching up or winning his approval. I'm his equal, and he adores me for who I am."

"I understand that, but there's a big difference between hanging around werewolves and becoming one of them!" Alice hissed. "How'd he convince you to do this? What did he tell you?"

"I asked him to. It was my decision entirely." I replied, trying to stay calm, to stay in control. The shaking was getting worse. I stumbled over to the edge of the porch and leaned against the railing, breathing rapidly.

"You can't even control yourself now." Alice whispered, as if horrified at me. "What have you done?"

"I've taken charge of my life." I told her, breathing deeply and trying to relax. She gave me a doubtful look and I shrugged. "It's just… taking a little while to get used to it. Are we still friends?"

"The better question is are you really Bella?" Alice snapped back. "Ever since we got back from Italy, you've been a different person."

"People change. I changed." I told her. "I heard the screams of several dozen people being murdered. That has a way of… maturing a person."

"The Volturi... " Alice muttered a few angry words in another language. "This will be a problem." I groaned, remembering. Promises had been made to them that I would be turned into a vampire. I had broken those promises, but the Cullens were also liable for my actions.

"They can't sense me. I'm immune to their powers." I ventured hopefully. "I could feign my death, or relocate…"

"Don't kid yourself." Alice warned. "They'll be checking up on us in a few months and won't be easily fooled."

"I don't know, okay?" I admitted. "We'll come up with a plan. Next week."

"Famous last words." Alice sighed, suddenly looking exhausted. She rubbed her eyes, as if she couldn't bare to look at me. "Why, Bella?"

"Because… I have to." I replied slowly. "I can't just turn my back and walk away." I half-wondered if I had heard that line in a movie. "Alice… before, it was different. Bad things happen to good people, but there was nothing I could do about it. Knowing about vampires and werewolves… it changed that. Now there's no excuse. Now, I can do something about it."