I was left in a half-asleep half-awake daze in front of my laptop. The only thing staring at me was my long past overdue graphic design project. But I couldn't get the inspiration in my head flowing. I kept reading the instructions over and over again, but to no avail, no creative lightening bolt struck at me yet. Nothing. It was unusual. Usually, I immersed myself in my graphic design projects. I mean after all, I was attending _ on a full scholarship to become a fucking graphic designer. But the last few weeks had been difficult. My school-work had got progressively harder, I struggled to pay my half of the rent, it was a mess. I was a mess. I thought moving to London would be a dream come true. I was living in the city that I fell in love with when I was a child. Not only that it was with my best friend and attending a high-end art school, so I could have a career in work that I actually enjoyed. But even though I had no toxic parents reaking havoc on my self-esteem, other problems had kept emerging from the midst. As I just, once again, almost fell asleep at my desk from the incredulous sleep-deprivation, I heard the creaky front door open. I opened up one small ocean blue eye to see the 5'1" silhouette of my best friend Camille Ryder, clutching a paraphernalia of groceries. I yawned, slowly straggling my way towards her, to assist her.
"Amelia, you look exhausted. How long have you been up trying to do that blasted fucking project?"
"Um. Well, it's 5PM now. So, I can easily say with the aid of coffee and energy drinks, it's been at least 24 hours."
"Yeah, I can tell considering you almost put the milk under the sink. You need to rest, Lia. I can put away the groceries. There is no need to help me. Please..just sleep." Camille urged me. I couldn't argue with her. She is one of the most stubborn people, I've ever met. Getting into an argument with her is like provoking a bear. But she wasn't vicious; it was in the utmost caring way possible. I left our small kitchenette to the living room that doubled as my bedroom. I crawled onto it and had the most restless sleep imaginable.
I woke up screaming and sweating at about ten o'clock in the morning with Camille sitting by my side, watching godawful Jeremy Kyle again.
"How long have you been here? Have you watching me sleep? Oh my god, I am roommates with Edward Cullen, aren't I?" I jested, as I poked her in the side.
"No, you dummy. You were screaming and talking in your sleep again and I thought it would be best thing to not have you wake up alone in an empty flat. I know I wouldn't want that. So, being the greatest best friend that I am, I stayed here, instead of run errands like I was planning to. You're welcome, by the way." Camille huffed as she abruptly got off the couch.
"Cammi, are you upset with me? You seem a little more...harsh than usual." I was starting to become worried. Camille is the sarcastic type who tends to take the piss out everything, but there was a coldness in her tone. A coldness that took me by surprise.
"Yes, actually. I am quite upset with you. You spent 24 hours doing a project that was already overdue and made how much progress? Zero. What the hell is the matter with you lately? Your creativity has been squashed. You got fired from Tesco? You need to talk to me, Amelia. We're supposed to be best friends, roommates. I stayed in this morning, just to make sure you were okay, after a night full of screaming and you just made a shitty Twilight joke and didn't even say thank you. I do all of this shit for you and when have you EVER done anything for me?" Camille's voice starts to rise, even louder.
"You know that's not true, Camille. You know that I've done so much for you. Even after we moved to London. You were still upset over Arielle. You cried yourself to sleep each night. And do you know what I did? I held you. I validated your feelings and did everything I could to help. I bought you Starbucks, everyday. I made damn well and sure that you were okay, everyday. And before that. Remember the night that your parents split up? I came over at 2 in the morning with McDonalds and let you cry in my arms. I've been there for you in every single way, I can. It hurts me that you don't think I don't do anything for you." I started to tear up. "Camille, yes. I've been struggling to adjust to London. I know that. But it's been so fucking hard. The school-work, work, with no fucking support from my parents. They basically said "fuck you" to me, as soon as I could leave the house. Do you know how awful that is to be completely cut off from the people who are supposed to love you?" By that time, I was starting to get flustered. I maintained my calmness and composure, but every word Camille said to me, stung. It stung as if her words were poison darts and I was her prey. Camille and I had never fought like that before. Sure, we had our qualms and disagreements, but never a full-fledged fight.
"Amelia. Look, I am just stressed out too. Why don't you just stay here and maybe watch some YouTube videos? Like Phil. Have you even begun to like Dan yet? I don't understand why you think he's such a prick."
It was at that point where the blood started to slightly boil within my veins. We may have both liked lots of YouTubers, but the one that I couldn't stand was Dan Howell. Also known as danisnotonfire. He was so much more popular than Phil was. They may have lived together and were best friends, but I still couldn't stand him. I thought he was just so much of tryhard; girls only liked him for his looks and the fact that he was the stereotype of "socially awkward." The reason why he even started was because of Phil and Phil had much less of a subscriber count than he had. Some of Dan's "fans" even called him ugly and we're just utterly brutal towards him. While, I was hopelessly infatuated with Phil, Camille was hopelessly infatuated with Dan. I personally just found him to be obnoxious. It also pissed me off that Camille tried to change the subject without apologizing. Even within our little qualms and disagreements, she would try and change the subject with talk of YouTubers. She always tried to get me to like Dan and convince me to like him, but I just couldn't. I had to meet him for myself for my opinion of him to be swayed.
"Camille, you are trying to change the subject, like you always do! Instead of just saying sorry and trying to fix and combat the issue, you just change the subject. I always just went along with it, because you would mention YouTubers and it would get me distracted. But not fucking today, Cammi. Why can't you just admit you made a mistake and try and fix it?" I started to yell, as tears started well up in my eyes.
The look in Camille's deep brown eyes started to flicker with anger. I knew from experience that I shouldn't have helped light that flicker. But I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take her always trying to avoid the issues. I couldn't take her irrationality. So, as she started to turn green and before her clothes would rip off, I rushed over to the door, quickly grabbing a jacket and an umbrella and slammed it as hard as I could. I ran as fast as I could down each flight of stairs quickly losing all endurance and pain searing through me, but I was running on anger and adrenaline. And from there, I ran right into the heart of one London's infamous downpours.
Walking in the rain always soothed me. I loved the rain. I loved the sound of rain, the feeling as soon as it touches your skin. I remember when we first to came to London on that little family vacation, even though the weather had predicted sunshine, it was nothing but pure rain. I always begged my parents to let me go outside and run wild in it, but of course they never approved. Ever since I could remember, I would take walks in the rain, just to calm me down. Today was no different. I walked through the hustle and bustle of the crowds, having no clue where I was going. I was just lost in the lack of thought that only the rain could clear. You know when you just absolutely zone out for a couple of seconds? It was like that. Only, I had just zoned out and on everything around me. I became completely numb towards my surroundings. I had become so completely spaced out and just off in a different world, that I had to managed to walk straight first into a very tall guy and completely tripping and falling into a nice big puddle. What great first impressions.
"Oh, god. Um, are you okay?" I knew that voice. It sounded so familiar, but I was still in half of a trance from my walk. This unknown giant helped assist me out of the puddle, as I was completely drenched. I couldn't help but notice they were extremely tall. I mean, I'm not a super short individual, but I'm also taller than average. This guy was like a tree. I looked up at his face, his deep brown eyes, and I knew exactly who that was.
"Hey, is that an amazingphil shirt? I mean, I know you're covered in puddle water, but I couldn't help but notice it. He's my best friend. I mean... I don't know. Um.. do you recognize me?"
I quickly glanced down. I completely forgot that I was wearing my Phil shirt. I had just fallen asleep in the clothes I wore the day before. How awkward. I looked back up at him. Dan. Of course, I fucking recognized you. If it was any other day, I probably wouldn't feel anger bubbling up inside of me. But I did. It also had flashed into my mind how jealous Camille would be of me. Knowing that I met Dan and she didn't. So, I tried to maintain at least a decent amount of composure.
"Uh. Yeah, I think so. Dan, right?" My words stumbled as I failed to make eye contact with him.
"Hah, yep that would be me! Um, are you gonna be okay? I mean, you completely just...well...fell face first into a puddle. I mean.. after running face first into me. My flat isn't too far away, if..if you want a shower and some clothes." he seemed to stumble with his words too. Maybe, the whole 'social awkwardness' thing wasn't just an act. I should've taken his offer. I could've probably met Phil. But I was too upset. Dan was the absolute last person, I wanted to run into that day.
"No... it's...it's fine." I looked at where I was for a couple seconds and glanced at each of the buildings trying to make it look like I knew where I was.
"I'm pretty sure, my flat is just a block away. Or even closer, if I take the subway. But..uh thanks for offering." as I started to walk away and then he turned over and yelled something at me.
"Hey, listen. I couldn't help but notice that you're not a rabid fangirl and that you seem a bit down. But if you ever want to um... talk or whatever, here." he took a piece of paper and a pen out of one of his pockets and managed to illegibly write something and put it in my hand. He started to walk away, as I uncrumbled the Pokemon note paper. It was his number. I was so going to make Camille jealous.