CHAPTER 2: DARTH VADER PREGNENT?

when gunilla and PRINCESS ESTRELLA THE FORMER QUEEN OF SWEDEN returned to ardelia they immediately called a ROYAL COUNCIL MEETING OF ARDELIA into existance. mean while the whole fucking world was kind of epxloding into panic and stuff since darth vader had threatened to nuke the entire world.

"whare the hell are the ROYAL MINISTERS OF ARDEALIA" angered gunilla. time travel is canon sooo they dont really have an exceuse. i mean being late is kind of im possible i u can time travel? JUST TIME TARVEL TO THE PAST DUMb ASS

"my endeared queen i have disembarked at the most stupendous concievable precipitancy" said ROSE LALANDE the new head wizard because dumledore the old head wizard had disappeared. and uhhh i guess shes an IMIGRANT or some thing because more wizords during the last story would kind of have changed some thigns so DUNNO.

"the very same whereabouts additionally applies to me" said KANYA MARYAM the MINISTER OF FASHION. whose job was to make sure fashion was ok in the kingdom.

"IM GETTING OLDER EVERY DAY AND HAVE TO WALK WITH A CANE" screamed dr house the MINISTER OF MEDICINE. "FUCK MY LIFE SHIT ASSSSS"

"calm down" said gunilla "i was maybe just worried THAT THE FUCKING WORLD WAS GOING TO END YOU KNOW?"

estrella was still crying in the corner. i guess having ur whole country sudenly blow up kind of creates emotions.

"but now since ur all here lets decide what the hell to do" said gunilla. "ok option 1. surender and handle ardelia over to DARTH VADER. not gonna happen any other ideaS?"

"FUCKING KILL THEM WITH WEAPANS" shouted dr house. "WAR!"

"good idea" said gunilla. "uhh who are our allies again. i mean swedens totally blown the fuck up... uhh... wizardland? rose how r our relations with wizardland"

"the king of wizardland whom is apellated harry potter happens to anathematize us due to an indecorous memorandum sent by you, encompassing the locution 'SUCK MY WAND (WAND MEANS PENIS)'" said rose lalande.

"oh wait" gunilla said and laughed. "fuck this still was worth it anyways how could we change his mind"

estrella stoped crying and began giggling. "hehe gunilla dont act like u dont know the best thing for international relations"
"u mean... HOT SEX?"
"yeah"

"hmmmmm", gunilla said thoughtfully. "ill get to it. the rest of u can figure out what else to do to get our military prepared as fuck"

and she immediately ran to the ROYAL ARDELIA SEXCOPTER.

"what a humdinger state of affairs, having to chaperone the commonwealth whilst our queen vamooses to undertake royal intercourse", wondered rose lalande.

"indubutably", agreed kanaya. then they kissed passionately and lesbianely, because they got gril boners from long words.

"the whole worlds still fucked i think im gonna return to crying" cried PRINCESS ESTRELLA and returned to crying.

"FUCK CRYING" screamed dr house whose anger had only grown more prominent with age, like the taste of fine wine. "IM GOING TO CALL A ROYAL EXPERT WHO CAN GIVE US AN ARMY OF..."

every one was quitet dramatically.

"BIGFOOTS"

-

back in starland where darth vader lived, darth vader returned from the meeting of GLOBAL UNION.

"how did the nukes work" he demanded from dr cap jack sparrow. they were sitting in vaders EVIL ROYAL THRONE ROOM, witch was a big room with a big black throne that was built from dead babies.

"fantastically" joyed dr captain jack sparrow. "as the baby legend foretold, they were PRECIES AS FUCK and managed to destroy excactly only sweden and nothing else. i went to check and there was like a BUG FUCKING HOLE that was ENDLEESLLY DEEP it was COOL AS FUCK and KIND OF FRIGHTNING"

"execllent" said DARTH VADER. "if it hadnt been so shooting a fucking nuke just next to the country we want to invade would kind of have been a mistake but luckily it wasnt"

"so whats next" axed dr captn jack sparrow "r we going to double nuke production or do some thing else? i mean ardelias royalty isnt stupid theyre just gonna hand the country over to you"

"if theres one thing i will never doubt" answered lord king darth vader "its the ENDLESS FUCKING STUPIDITY OF EVERY BODY THAT LIVES IN THAT SHIT HOLE COUNTRY. trust me i have FIRST HAND EXPERICNE. but finally i will HAVE MY REVENGE AHAHAAAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAYHHAAHHAHAGAHGAHAH½!"

"but... so more nukes?" confirmed dr captn jack sparrow.

"yeah" said darth vader. "and if ardelias royalty is even stupider than i can dream we can just creata a NUCLEAR POWERED ARMY OF BABIES my dear nukebirthers can give us. legends say production rate is at 1000 babbys/min."

"wow" said dr capt jack sparow. "those grils really are the best at birthing the world has seen."

so dr captn jack sparrow went back to the SECRET ROOM where elsa and anna were enslaved and fed them more uranium to make them give birth to more nukes. he was humming casually and thinking about all the sex he was going to have with DARTH VADER... maybe they would finally get lucky and have a REAL heir to the throne...

suddenly DARTH VADER ran in! and was crying! BUT NOT OF PAIN AND SADNESS,,, BUT OF HAPPINES!

"DOCTOR CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW" darth vader cried "IM PREGNANT"

-

mean while in ardelia dr houses royal advisor had already arrived. he was a man with a moustache.

"hi every body im BARY ANDERSON" said BARTY ANDERSON. "did u know that the yeti can give birbth to 6 babies every minute? today we are going to"

"SHUT UP BARY" dr house screamed. "i mean. this is my friend BARTY ANDERSON whose FUCKING GOING TO GET US A ROYAL ARMY OF BIGBFOOTS AND YETIS AND ALL THE MYSTICAL CREATURE THINGS."

barty anderson presed a button on his phone and a real fucking creepy music started playing.

"hes a legend who has hosted over 90000000 shows on huntihng yetis" dr house said "but at some point he died and was replaced by a iBARTYDROID who can unfortunately only do his job of hosting tv shows."

"wait what r we going to do today anyway" axed barty aanderson. "oh fuck i forgot wheres the script"

"today is a VERY SPECIAL EPOSIDE" said dr house. "we are going to... FIND ALL OF THE FUCKING BIBGFOOS"

"HOLY SHIT" said barty anderson. "ALL of them? we better go out fast folks"

"i am incredulous to the consummation of this stratagem" said rose lalande but decided to follow barty anderson and dr house outside anyways.

-

gunillas ROYAL SEXCOPTER was FAST AS FUCK so it took p much NO TIME for her to get to wizardland. it was a big country with all sorts of wizard castles and other magic things. harry potter lived in HOGWORTS witch was a BIG WIZARD CASTLE (area almost 60000km2).

"hey i was waiting for u" said harry potter when gunillas royal sexcopter landed on the roof of hogworts.

"thats strange" said gunilla suspicously. "how did you even know"

"uhhhhh magic bro?" said harry potter. "anyways, lets go to the royal discussion room."

and they went to the royal discussion room. hogworts had MAGIC STAIRS witch moved around magically and p much uselessly. i mean why not just STAY THERE u god dman stupid stairs? ppl who cant magic have designed houses in witch all places can be accessed FOR LIKE FOREVER... its NOT THAT HARD... and also, cause the stairs fucking move all the time, how can you even go anywhere? do the stairs do whatever u want? ok but what if u are there with 100 other ppl who want to go to other places? MAGIC STAIRS FUCKING SUCK AND HERES A WARNING: DONT GO NEAR MAGIC STAIRS.

but gunilla and harry potter WENT NEAR TO MAGIC STAIRS LIKE FUCKING IDITOS because i guess they cant read the narrative.

"this doesnt look like a discussion room" said gunilla because the room didnt look like a discussion room. and that was because it was a jail, witch had bars and everything.

"and that is..." said harry potter dramatically... "BECASUE IT ISNT"

and HARRY POTTER PUNSHED GUNILLA TO HER FUCKING FACE AND KNOCKED HER THE HELL OUT! H O LYS SHITT!

NEXT CHAPTER: WHAT HAPPENS TO GUNILLA? CAN ARDELIAN DUDES FIND BIGFOOTS? AND WHO IS DARTH VADERS BABY?