Thank you for the incredible response to the first chapter! I hope you'll continue to read and enjoy the story. I'm going to try to update every other day so I'll have as much posted as possible before we find out what 'really' happens.
Gillian Kearney Fan, shutting Cal out is definitely not a good idea! Let's hope he changes his mind soon. Thank you for your review.
X-Sammii-X, the end of the episode was devastating! It was a sad storyline anyway, but the acting really was so brilliant and so moving. Thank you for your review.
Jynx999, thank you for your review - I'm really happy you liked the first chapter. I hope you'll keep reading.
20BlueRoses, your review was completely coherent and really lovely to read. Ethan definitely can keep control of his life and maybe he'll start to realise that over the course of the story. Thank you for your review.
Becs2202, thank you for your review - it's so good to know I've written the brothers' feelings as you imagine them to be.
TheWiinterSoldier, I think the last episode killed me too! I was so hoping they would both be clear, but I knew Ethan was lying. Thank you for your review and for your lovely comments - I really hope I can carry on portraying the emotions. It's not easy.
CBloom2, thank you for your review. I've had lots of diagnoses but nothing like this, so it is just guesswork, but I hope it'll be okay. Ethan better had let in Cal soon. I want to write brotherly comfort scenes!
tracys dream, thank you for your review. It is very sad about Ethan - but I'd have been equally sad if it was Cal.
Tanith Panic, I don't think Ethan's chances with Kate are over either - the phone number might be gone, but fate can still bring them together. If I want it to. Thank you for your review. If there is a sadder episode than this, I haven't seen it!
LittleBritishPerson, I think Ethan wants to turn his back on everything at the moment, but his emotions are likely to change a lot. Thank you for your review - I'm glad you like it so far.
Thank you to Gingersnaps2507, X-Sammii-X, TVObsessedGirl28, TheWiinterSoldier, Lcasualty95, IssyDoodle and Future light for the follows and favourites.
Kate shook her head in disbelief. "You're giving me a written warning? Because I helped a woman who was seriously ill?"
"No, Kate." Judy leaned over the desk, her eyes hard and her arms uncompromisingly folded. "It was unprofessional of you to abandon your post, particularly when the customer had two young men to help her. But that's not the problem."
"What is the problem?" asked Kate. Her voice trembled slightly. She didn't want to lose her job. She was only on a temporary contract, it was true, but Milly said she was doing well and everyone liked her and Judy would almost certainly keep her on. By the time Helen came back from maternity leave, they'd be looking for extra staff for the warmer months anyway. Although the job wasn't easy and her boss frankly terrifying. Kate loved the café.
"Stealing." The word was like ice.
"I didn't steal anything!" said Kate.
Judy pursed her lips. "I understand you put together a little package of 'survival rations' for the disabled customer and the two young men." Her eyes darkened with contempt. "More particularly for the two young men, I think."
"No!" said Kate, even though there was some truth in that. She'd felt sorry for the lady and also admired her because she'd borne everything so well – Kate knew she couldn't have stayed that calm if she was choking – but it was Nibbles who had drawn her attention particularly; Nibbles that she wanted to see again.
A picture of Nibbles flashed into Kate's mind. She didn't think she'd ever forget the way he'd looked at her with those deep brown eyes, as dark as chocolate and twice as delicious.
It wasn't the kind of look that made you feel you were being mentally undressed. It was a look of… well, almost wonder and amazement. Almost as though he'd never seen a girl before. As though he'd discovered something new and wonderful which he'd never suspected existed.
And he'd looked like that at Kate.
"So, you deny giving them food?" said Judy.
Kate looked down into her lap. "Okay, I might have given them a little bit of food. They were going down to the beach and the lady obviously wasn't very well and the guys were worried about her. I just wanted to do something to help."
Judy's expression was hard. "Stealing is stealing, Kate, whatever your reasons. It is a crime. A crime for which I could have reported you. A crime for which I will not hesitate to report you if you do it again."
Kate took a shaky breath. "Judy, I really am sorry. I wasn't thinking straight. It's the first time I've done it and I promise I'll never do it again."
"No," agreed Judy. "You won't. But that doesn't change the fact it happened once and therefore you will receive a written warning. Most people operate a 'three strikes and you're out' policy. I only allow two lapses. One more incident like this, Kate, and you'll be out of the door. And even one warning will severely limit your chances of being taken on permanently. Have I made myself clear?"
"Yes, Judy," said Kate.
"Then get back to work."
Kate left Judy's office to find Milly waiting outside the door, an anxious expression on her face. "Kate, what happened?"
"I'm going to get a written warning," said Kate. Her eyes filled with tears. "She knows about the survival rations I gave to Nibbles. She said it was stealing, Milly! And I suppose it is, but I didn't mean it like that."
Milly put her arm around her. "I don't call it stealing. I call it kindness. Maybe with a little bit of flirtation thrown in, but mainly kindness. It's not your fault Moody Judy wouldn't recognise a kind act if it bit her on the bum."
"I just wanted to do something for them," said Kate, as a tear slipped down her cheek. She wiped it away, unsure if she was crying for Nibbles or for herself. "The lady looked so poorly and they were driving her around in an ambulance… you wouldn't usually use an ambulance to take someone to the bay. Only if… only if someone was seriously ill and it was their dying wish or something…"
"Hey. Come on. You don't know any of that," said Milly. "The ambulance might just have been… what's that word they use on TV? Precautionary. If someone with health problems wants to go somewhere that's a bit out-of-the-way with no hospital close by, it makes sense to go in an ambulance. Then they'll have all kinds of medical equipment there just in case."
Kate wiped her eyes. "I suppose you're right. I'm just being silly."
Milly patted her shoulder and let her go. "It's okay. Everyone's allowed to be silly sometimes. Especially when you meet someone like Nibbles and then get a written warning. Extremes of emotion, isn't it?"
"I suppose I just got carried away," admitted Kate. "Nibbles was so gorgeous. He had the loveliest brown eyes. They were like-"
"Chocolate. You said," said Milly. "And big geeky glasses and thick blond hair which you're just dying to run your fingers through…"
Kate laughed unsteadily. "He's not geeky. But he does have lovely hair."
"His ears are a bit big, though…"
"They are not!" gasped Kate.
"Okay: his ears are fine. I'm just teasing you." Milly looked thoughtful. "Personally, I preferred the tall one."
Kate smiled. "Well, when Nibbles calls me and we've been on a date and fallen madly in love with each other, I'll ask him to introduce you to his mate."
Cal stood, his arms around Ethan, as Iain and Charlie wheeled Emilie into the ambulance. Ethan wasn't shivering, but he was cold to the touch. Cal had both arms around him in an attempt to warm him, but Ethan didn't seem to notice.
As the trolley was secured, Cal felt another tear roll down his cheek. It was swiftly followed by another. He saw the concern on Charlie's face as he came towards the brothers, putting a hand on each of their arms. "Would you like to sit in the back with your mum?"
Cal nodded through his tears. Ethan gave no signs of hearing, but he didn't object when Cal moved him gently towards the ambulance and up the ramp. Cal's eyes strayed involuntarily to Emilie. She looked like she was asleep and perhaps in a way, she was. Cal could only hope he dreams would be sweet. Dreams of not one but two healthy sons, going happily through their lives; achieving all their dreams.
Cal pushed Ethan gently down on to one of the seats. He put a hand on Ethan's shoulder, using the other to ruffle his hair, but there was no reaction. Ethan's face was set and he didn't even seem to know Cal was there.
Cal's breath was expelled in a loud sob that startled him but not Ethan. He sat near Emilie and took her hand in his, feeling tears flowing onto his cheeks. Her hand was cooling now. Cal lifted it to his lips and kissed it again and again. He couldn't believe she was really gone. He'd only just found her again and now she'd left him.
Cal put his other hand over his face as the tears blinded him. He felt a strong arm going around him. Cal looked up into Charlie's concerned, compassionate face and felt began to sob. He knew he was being selfish, but he didn't know what to do. He wanted his mum. Both his mums. And he wanted his little brother.
He wanted to see Ethan grow and develop into the doctor he'd always promised to be. He wanted to see him become a consultant; perhaps even clinical lead one day. He wanted to see him saving lives with a steady hand and a smooth, calm voice.
But even if that happened, it would be only fleeting. The disease would claim Ethan in the end. His body; his brain; his life.
Cal's throat ached as his sobs came louder and faster. "Why, Charlie? Why?" he asked, knowing there was no answer; knowing that Charlie wouldn't even have understood the question.
"Why does it have to happen to anyone?" Charlie asked him softly. His hand moved up and down Cal's back. "You made her last weeks happy in a way she'd given up dreaming would ever happen. She loved you, Cal: not just because you used to be her little son Stephen but because you're Caleb Knight."
It was something Cal had been hoping and dreaming and had even, at times, allowed himself to believe, but it was of no consolation now.
"Ethan?" Charlie raised his voice slightly. "Why don't you come over here and sit with your brother?"
Cal knew why he was asking. He thought Cal was the one who needed support because Cal was the one who was crying. Cal longed to tell Charlie the horrible truth so he didn't have to carry it alone anymore. But Ethan had asked him to say nothing and Cal would do anything his brother asked him.
He looked over at Ethan, waiting for his reply, but he didn't seem to have heard. He sat, his body rigid, not looking at Cal or Emilie. Cal watched for the tiniest moment; the tiniest flicker in his expression, but there was nothing. It was as though Ethan's soul had escaped his body, leaving only a shell behind.
And I wish he had, thought Cal, as the tears poured down his face once more. I wish he could do that. I wish he could leave his body and the gene and his future behind him and go on to be everything he should be.
Instead, Ethan was trapped. Trapped in a body of which he was gradually losing control. The symptoms probably wouldn't show for years, but they would come and there would be nothing Cal could do to stop them.