This is for REDSHIRT137. She or He requested a story with Arthur as a spy and then to have UK/US. Well, here is my best shot at this I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. It does not belong to me. Nothing to sue here, move along.

Secret Agent Man!

The casino was that age old combination of high-class luxury and low-class sleaze. Smoke from Cuban cigars danced with upper-crust perfume. The lights were dimmed and cast everyone in a shade of dull, gold shadow. The air was heavy with the sounds of drunken laughter in a duet with groans of dismay while the accompanying clicks of poker chips and billiard balls and the slick slap of cards gave a background tempo. It was a place where men and women from high society met and mingled with the rich whose money dripped with blood, drugs, and misery to make under the table deals for power or more wealth. Mafia from Italy rubbed elbows with Colombian drug lords and Arabian princes; human traffickers made off color jokes while African weapon dealers and a Ukrainian Supreme Court Judge laughed along. It was a place where anyone could buy anything; even the hand-picked beautiful staff was always ready for a night of soft moans, hazy eyes, and warm, spread thighs. It was a place where Arthur Kirkland, Britain's REAL 007, had come to get secrets on Russia Mafia head and weapons dealer Ivan Braginsky and Her.

The first was connected to the second in a roundabout manner. The owner of the casino was the powerful drug dealer, human trafficker, and gambler Wang Yao. Mr. Wang had managed to keep from being brought to justice by having deep pockets and high friends in the Chinese government. Arthur forced himself to keep cool. One day he would bring that Chinese bastard to justice for the numerous lives he had ruined, but alas, that was not to be tonight. Tonight he was here because Wang Yao happened to be good friends with Ivan Braginsky, head of the Russian Mafia and big time weapons dealer. That delightfully big-nosed piece of human waste had managed to steal some top secret MI-16 information; the information contained both secrets about operatives in the field as well as some new weapons technology being developed by the US and Britain. It was both a great threat and great embarrassment to have lost the information and now Arthur was assigned to get it back before it could be decoded by Braginsky's men. However, Braginsky had gone underground since obtaining the information and no one had any knowledge as to where the rat was hiding. No one, that is, except Ivan's dearest chum, Yao.

And—Arthur looked up from his drink that he had been nursing to look into eyes so blue the sky must be jealous—that is where She came in.

She was Alfreda Fiona Jones, Yao's American Beauty. Yao liked to show her off to his friends and boast that Helen of Troy couldn't rival her. Her story was as tragic as Helen's too. The young American had been visiting her twin brother in Hong Kong when Yao and his goons broke up their little reunion. It turns out that while he was in Hong Kong as part of some charitable organization, her brother had managed to step on Yao's toes. Yao had shown up that day personally to make the boy account for the affront. Alfreda had thrown herself at him to protect her brother, and Yao made her deal: she would become Yao's personal toy for the rest of her life in return for her brother's safety. The American had agreed without hesitancy. Now three years since that fatefully day, Arthur was here to not only get Ivan's location, but also to liberate her for her cooperation.

She broke his concentration with her smooth voice, "I have my end of the deal… can you still promise me you'll hold up your side." Her eyes pinned him and a lesser man would have stuttered or blushed to be looked upon and spoken to by this Golden Goddess, but Arthur Kirkland was Arthur fucking Kirkland. He didn't do what lesser men did.

With a final, slow sip, he finished his drink—a martini, shaken not stirred because that was classy—and quipped back at her with a devilish smirk and dark green eyes, "Oh my dear… I am a British gentleman; I keep all my promises especially to ladies. I will liberate you from your dreadful imprisonment and then later maybe I shall see if I can liberate you from that dreadful dress." He finished with a ghost of a kiss across her knuckles: not enough to touch, but enough to tease.

Her cheeks pinked and she dropped her eyes. She recovered herself and gave a coy smile back (not that the blush was all gone, oh no, there was a hint still there). She replied, "You don't like my dress?" Arthur leaned back and took a moment to look at the dress (and the curves hidden and accented by it).

He smoothly said, "Oh it is a lovely dress… I just believe it would look better on my hotel's floor."

This surprised a laugh from her lovely lips, and Arthur used the moment to get closer to her. Placing one of his hands at the small of her back he leaned forward (and felt a little of the curves under the dress) and whispered in her ear (causing a brighter blush to creep over her beautiful face and blue eyes to become dark with lust), "Since I have everything I came here for, why don't you say we take our leave now." She gave back a mute nod and Arthur began to lead her out.

Unfortunately for Britain's best spy, nothing was ever this easy.

A voice rang out above the background noise, "Now, now Arthur! I don't know what it is like back on that piece of mud and pig shit you call an island, but here in the civilized world of China it is considered very rude to make off with not only your host's secrets, but his mistress as well." Arthur cursed and quickly pushed Alfreda down and behind the bar. With a quickly muttered, "Stay here," and a kiss on plump, pink lips, Arthur spun to look his adversary in the eye.

He strolled across the quickly emptying casino (the patrons knew when a Bad Fight was about to break out and quickly made for the hills), fingered his hidden gun—thank you Q for finding a way to make guns that pass metal detectors—and said, "Well, whether England is or is not as culturally civilized as China, at least Englishmen never have to force women into their beds. But I guess when one has a manhood that makes a toothpick look large and daunting, one has to get by with whatever tricks one can think up."

The Chinese drug dealer snarled and screamed, "Kill that English dog!"

Arthur brought out the hidden weapon and fired off three shots with a speed and accuracy that would shame the gunslingers of the Old West. Three of Yao's thugs fell with a dramatic spurt of blood and a heavy thunk. Arthur didn't take the time to watch the men die as he dived on a nearby card table, causing it to flip up and provide shelter from the enemy's returning fire. He had counted seven bodyguards and Yao. He had three bullets left in his gun, no extra magazine (would have set off the damn metal detectors, apparently how to hide extra bullets for the hidden gun was still beyond Q) and a knife hidden under his trouser leg. He needed time to think of a plan, unfortunately, like bullets, time was another thing the spy had in short supply.

A guttural shout came from his right as burly man charged at Arthur swinging a sword. After sparing a second to roll his eyes at the horrendous display of swordsmanship, Arthur jumped up to engage the man. A well timed high kick to the throat stunned the man, giving Arthur the needed time to shoot the brute in the head. Two bullets left, Arthur thought. Three more growls came and Arthur saw that he had been surrounded. He backed up, slowly, keeping the three grinning ruffians as far away as possible until his back bumped against a table. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a billiard's stick. He grabbed it and brought it up in time to smack the leftmost swine across the head. A sickening crack was heard and the man dropped. The remaining two charged in a fit of rage and Arthur barely managed to shoot the both of them. Damn! Now he was out of bullets. Luckily all the bodyguards were dead… that only left… Yao! Where was he?!

A shrill scream, "ARTHUR!" and the slam of a door alerted Arthur to the drug lord's whereabouts. He speedily dashed upstairs and went to the room where the scream had come from. He pulled on the door and cursed his luck when he found it locked. He got down and began to pick the lock, using an emergency lock pick contained in his left shoe. Once he got the door unlocked, he pushed it open to see Alfreda tied to a bed post with a belt, struggling to get away while Yao stood over her getting his pants undone. He snarled, "Hey Yao!" forcing the man to stop and look up with wide, terrified eyes at the Englishman. Arthur made sure his stance was solid as he spat out, "A gift from the queen of that island made of mud and pig shit." With that and a strong flick of the wrist, Arthur sent his knife flying straight into the corrupt man's black heart. A gurgle came from Yao's lips as he dropped to the floor, dead.

Ignoring the dead man, Arthur swiftly came to Alfreda's side and untied her. The distraught woman clasped onto him and shuddered. He rocked her back and forth for a moment before saying, "We need to leave now. Who knows how many of Yao's gang could be on their way?"

She nodded and the two fled the premises.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur gave a deep sigh as he stepped out of the WC. He had needed that shower to get the blood and sweat off. He looked at his bed to see his new blonde roommate casually going through the channels on the telly. With a strong step, he walked over to turn off the TV. Turning around he gave a smirk to the exquisite, smiling blonde on his bed. He spoke as he stalked over to the bed, "You know, now that I have liberated you from the late Mr. Wang, I think it is now time for me to liberate you from this awful dress." He slid onto the soft bed next to her and began to slowly push her to lie down on the comforter.

"Oh?" she said with a touch of breathlessness and anticipation. Her blue eyes alight with desire.

He gave a grave nod and reached a hand around to where the zipper of the small dress was located. He said with all the somber solemnity of a funeral, "Oh yes. I made you a promise, and a British gentleman NEVER goes back on his promises."

She gave a breathy laugh that turned into a needy moan as he mouth began to nibble on her swan-like neck. She moaned, "Oh Arthur… oh, Arthur… Arthur… Arthur…"

"ARTHUR KIRKLAND!"

With a surprised shout followed closely by a small scream, Arthur Kirkland the personification of Great Britain, promptly snapped out of his little fantasy world and then promptly fell out of his chair and onto the floor. Germany gave a long, put-out sigh as the British Nation cursed and the other Nations laughed. He grumbled, "Since it appears that NO ONE can pay attention to this important meeting anymore, let's break for lunch." And with that, Italy dragged the German out of the room yelling about pasta and the rest of the gathering collected their things to break for a long lunch.

England stood up with a crack from his back and a scowl on his face. Oh wonderful, he had managed to daydream through another blasted world meeting and got caught. Was there no justice? As he gathered up his things, his eyes drifted over to where the Nation of the United States of "Let's drive Iggy Insane" America was chatting with China. With an even deeper frown he finished stuffing his papers into his briefcase and stomped out of the room. Not that he was upset or anything about seeing the two together, getting along. No, of course not! The little blonde git could talk to whomever she liked. He certainly did not care in the least!

God's blood this day just kept getting better and better.

A rough shout of "Iggy!" and a hard impact on his left side, alerted him to his former colony's presence. He gave her a growl that had terrified even Spain in the midst of his empire days, "What?"

Alfreda was, of course, completely unaffected by his foul mood. She chirped, "Where you going for lunch? Not someplace nasty right? Come with me! I know a place nearby that's really good!" He gave a snort and said, "Don't you want to go with you new chum, China?"

(Damn it, he wasn't upset that she was paying more attention to China than him! Stop saying he was!)

America just blinked and laughed and said, "No way! I'm just being nice so he'll stop calling me at 3 in the morning asking me where my money is. You're my favorite old grumpy Nation you know that, now come on!" She gave his left arm a yank (and nearly tore it out of his body) and started dragging the Brit along behind her much to his protests.

(Just like he wasn't upset that she had been paying extra attention to China at the meeting, he also wasn't feeling lighter than air about being with her. Or glowing inside because she called him her favorite, old… grumpy… Nation… wait a minute!)

"I am not old you little chit!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ENDOFSECRETAGENTMANFORNOW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I hoped you liked this. I tried to keep this a little more serious through-out it since with Arthur's daydream I felt that he would add a certain amount of seriousness to the situation. Did you like it? If you did, let me know and I may add another chapter about Arthur Kirkland: Secret Agent Man!

DUN DUN!

Much Love,

91REDROSES