It has been six days since Derek Morgan was kidnapped and tortured. He was still held up in the hospital. Better, but still weak. Numbers were on his mind. Four. The number of men who tortured him. Three. The number of days he was in a drug-induced stupor after the chemical burns and heart failure. Forty. The number of weeks in a full-term pregnancy. Two. His girlfriend and their son.
Names and events ran through his mind too. He constantly wanted to reassure himself he could stay in the BAU. Garcia was shot. She's still in the BAU. Hotch was stabbed and his ex-wife was murdered. He collapsed from internal bleeding. He's still in the BAU. JJ was tortured. She's still in the BAU. Reid was tortured and his girlfriend was shot. He's still in the BAU. It sounded funny in a morbid way when he thought about it. The BAU could form their own trauma support group.
Morgan's agonizing over his future was interrupted by a knock on the door and a squeak.
"Hello Morgan" Hotch said as he pushed the door closed. He was glad to get another visitor. Penelope and Savannah were gone temporarily buying some clothes to wear and to take him home in. He tried to protest that shirtless was a good look for him, but then his heart sank thinking about the burns and the bandages wrapped around his chest.
"Hotch! What brings you here?"
"I wanted to see how you're doing."
"Better," and Morgan tentatively added, "…. and hoping to find the men who did this to me."
"Morgan, with what happened no one expects you to return to work immediately. We're doing our best to find every person involved in this."
"That's the thing. I … After this case, I don't know if I can be in the BAU anymore. Savannah is pregnant. I can't be absent from our child's life. I want to find the men who did this, but this may be it for me."
Hotch exhaled and scooted closer in his chair. "I'd understand that, Morgan. I can't make you stay. Oh, and congratulations." A small smile appeared on Hotch's face. A special event, as getting a smile out of Hotch was like teaching a cat to follow orders.
"Hotch, is it alright to ask you something? I'm sorry if it is inappropriate."
He knew already what Morgan as going to ask. "It's fine, Agent Morgan." Hotch sighed knowing what was coming next.
"Why did you stay in the BAU with the stabbing and Haley?" Morgan wasn't sure whether Hotch was feeling empathetic and considerate or upset and offended.
"It was my son." Hotch paused and the room was completely silent. "I felt a duty to him to keep men like Foyet from hurting other people, other fathers or mothers. I wanted to protect my son."
Hotch stared at his hands. "What's done was done. I couldn't change what happened to me or Haley, but I could stop the same thing from happening again."
Morgan was silent.