I went east out of New Vegas, and then south, following the road to the 188 so I wouldn't have to deal with the local wildlife. As I gazed at the bustling overpass, still a fair distance ahead of me, I thought about trading with Alexander, but his distain was unwelcome, and the whole place made me think of Veronica. Not that I really cared what any of them thought, but I was fairly sure if the NCR soldiers saw their heroine crying, it wouldn't help out morale. I needed a place I could go, somewhere I didn't have to be strong. I was so sick of being strong; I craved weakness, if only for a moment.

I stopped for a moment to check my Pip-Boy map, back to my original idea of finding somewhere enclosed and abandoned nearby. I sighed, realizing that there was practically nowhere that fit those descriptions. Realistically, the closest thing was one of the spare bunkers in Hidden Valley. I was likely to be monitored, but I doubted anyone would bother me if I didn't make too much noise.

Destination picked, I pulled out my Gobi and gave the 188 a wide birth, heading across the small valley behind Helios One. I was mindful to sneak around the bark scorpions as I approached the gulch; they weren't really worth my time, despite the caps I could get for their glands. Money wasn't exactly priority now anyway – I could afford a passport to the Strip twenty times over and still keep my gear maintained and packing.

Crouched, I took my time picking off the scorpions I couldn't avoid, glad for the concentration that cleared my mind for the time being. I still wasn't one hundred percent, but it kept me from dwelling on my grief until I had the privacy it necessitated. I allowed myself a little pleasure as I caught a giant radscorpion off guard and crippled its stinger before it even knew I was there. I lined it up through my scope, making the second shot a clean through-and-through while its buddies scrambled around, wondering what the hell was going on. I felt that surge of pride that accompanied taking out a whole pack of enemies without giving away my location. It was made sweeter by the fact that I didn't even have a suppressor on the sniper rifle.

I descended fully into the gulch, not bothering to check the dead wastelander lying at the base of a pile of boulders. He didn't look the part of a prospector, so it was likely his clothes and the rusty knife in his hand were his only possessions. I briefly wondered if he had family missing him wherever he'd wandered from, but the moment of pity was fleeting. There was no point in adding the death of an unknown man out in the middle of nowhere to my long list of worries. I pressed on.

I was nearly to the bunkers when I finally noticed eyes on my six and I mentally berated myself. I had no idea how long I'd been followed, and worse, if I turned to see if it was friend or foe, I'd give away that I knew of their presence. The only thing I could do was keep moving and pray they didn't already have me in their sights. Mind whirling, I tried not to hurry my steps as I clamored over the fallen chain link and into Hidden Valley. I cursed my bad timing; if it'd been night time, I'd've lost the bastard already in the sandstorm.

I made a beeline for the nearest bunker – thankfully not the Brotherhood's entrance – and ducked inside. I didn't relax as the metal doors clanked shut behind me; I needed to find cover before they followed me in. If there was to be fight, I wasn't going to let them have the advantage of the stairs. I was just grateful it wasn't a whole group; whoever the idiot was, they came alone. My mind was already busy making plans to hop over to one of the other bunkers as I squatted down behind an old crate on the floor. Once this was over, I didn't want to have a stinking corpse ruining my sob session. Not that this bunker didn't already have one, I thought grimly as I glanced at the pile of bones on the floor to my left. The giant mound of rubble wasn't adding to the décor any, either.

I heard the doors open and close again, and I raised my rifle, training my sights on the foot of the stairs. For a moment I found myself wishing it was that star-bottle-cap guy. Malcolm Something? Who cared. I'd told him if he stalked me again, I'd beat his ass, and that wouldn't be too unwelcome a fight. Might even be therapeutic.

The moments ticked by, and still I couldn't see anyone descending into the bunker. I focused harder, looking for the telltale shimmer of a Stealth Boy, but finding nothing. I nearly huffed; my soon-to-be attacker was probably just standing at the top of the stairs, hoping that I hadn't heard them and would eventually let my guard down.

"You're planning to shoot me, aren't you?" came a familiar voice and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Boone?" yelled back, lowering my rifle and standing up. He must have heard my movement, because now I could see his boots as he quickly came down the stairs to join me. "What the hell are you doing here?" The Mojave wasn't all that small, after all. We weren't just running into each other here.

"I was following you," he stated simply.

"Yeah, I noticed that much," I grumbled. "I could have killed you."

"Which is why I didn't come down right away. Unlike you, I prefer my head to stay bullet-free." His lips twitched a little, and I had to chuckle, even if the joke was at my expense. "Why'd you come here?" he asked, sniffing and making a face at the gore and debris.

Now I did huff, shouldering my Gobi and heading for the exit, Boone naturally falling into step with me like he always did. My heart ached a little, wondering if this was some sort of prolonged torture he felt I deserved. Hadn't he made it abundantly clear that he wanted to cut ties? "Well it wasn't exactly my first pick, but I thought you were some kind of raider or Legion assassin looking for a fight." Of course, Boone could still be looking for a fight… I inwardly shrugged. If he wanted to kill me at this point, I'd probably let him.

"No, I mean Hidden Valley. We were nearly here before you noticed you had company," he said, implied accusations thick in his tone. I was getting scolded again. He was right though. I wasn't as alert as I should have been. Here I'd been so worried about them going out and getting killed and I go out making rookie mistakes like not watching my back at all times.

I opened the doors and stepped out into the now fading light of the afternoon. If we didn't hurry to another bunker, we'd be caught in that sandstorm, and while it would have been useful earlier, now it would just be unpleasant. We quickly headed to the north-eastern corner, where the NCR ranger had once camped out. "I just wanted somewhere quiet I could think," I said finally as we reached the doors and ducked in. It was a tiny white lie; I didn't need him scoffing at my plan to cry my eyes out for the next ten hours. I sighed, knowing I'd have to put that off until he got bored and left again.

"You could have done your thinking at the Lucky 38," he said, eying me as I kicked a tin can across the floor.

"It's too quiet there. Believe me, I've tried. I've spent hours in the Cocktail Lounge trying to figure out what direction we should go with this stupid war." I shook my head, not liking to admit that I didn't have a clue what I was doing. I sunk down to the floor by the campfire and put my face in my hands. "It was simpler in DC. Right and wrong weren't so blurred. There were the bad guys we had to kill and the good guys we had to help. We'd either succeed in purifying the Delta, or we wouldn't." I didn't know why I was opening up to him about my past. I'd never told any of them, figuring I was already too much of a celebrity out here.

Boone sat across from me, not saying anything for a while. He did a lot of staring, like he was waiting for me to continue, but I didn't plan on it. He was a big part of my worry with the war; he may not be in the army anymore, but he was still NCR and it would hurt him deeply if I pushed for an independent New Vegas and wiped them all out. Eventually he looked away and left me in relative peace.

We ate some of the food the ranger had left behind, silently chewing our centuries-old meal while he gave me room to 'think.' I couldn't help it though; I kept coming back to his presence. I just couldn't understand it, after walking out the way he did. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I had to know. "Hey Boone?" I asked quietly, not liking to be the one to break the silence.

"What is it?" he asked back, looking at me. There was no judgment. Not even curiosity. It was like he trusted me fully to either tell him what he needed to know, or ask whatever I needed.

I felt the tears prick my eyes again, and I did my best to keep them from my voice as I spoke. "Why did you come back?"

Boone's brow creased, like he didn't understand. "I never left," he stated, still looking at me like I'd sprouted a third eyeball.

I frowned this time. "You left before I did. You were already gone when I headed out."

He shook his head. "I was waiting for you in the casino when you came down. You were alone, so I followed you when you left."

I flushed, knowing he had to have seen me attack the tables. Had to have heard me scream. "I circled the casino, I didn't see you," I tried to reason.

"I was in the upper lounge, grabbing a drink. You never even looked up."

The tears broke free with my increasing confusion. "But – "

"You said I didn't have to wait anymore. I knew if I said anything at the time, the others would argue to go with you instead. So I waited downstairs. I wouldn't have taken no for an answer," he finished, nearly growling. "I get why you didn't want us, but your logic is flawed. You assume that you caring for us out-weighs us caring for you. And you're wrong."

I was sobbing at this point, feeling stupid as I tried to hide my face from him. It wasn't like not seeing me cry would make him any less aware of it. "I'm so scared," I nearly moaned. "I don't want to lose you."

I felt his arms encircle me, and I tried not to flinch. It wasn't unpleasant or anything; he'd just never touched me before. I always thought that the first time we'd come in physical contact with one another, it would be in a fight. I wondered when he'd scooted close enough to hold me; I hadn't even heard him move. "You think I don't worry every time I see you walk out that door? Even when you have someone else with you, it's not enough. If something like Bitter Springs happens again, and I'm not there to watch your back…" he trailed off, tightening his grip on me minutely.

I hiccupped, sniffing as the tears abated. There was something so comforting about having him this close, I couldn't stay upset. "So you don't want to leave?" I whispered, still too stunned to voice my hope any louder.

"No, idiot," he laughed. "I want to stay. And I'm not waiting for your permission to do it. We make too good a team for us to do things separately. The others will just have to deal with it."

I shifted between his legs, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face in his chest, feeling a bit like a kid with the gesture. "What about Rex, or ED-E?" I mumbled, smiling now.

Boone hesitated. "I guess ED-E could come. Rex still doesn't like me."

I leaned back slightly, looking up at him with amusement. "That's because you never take off your beret. He doesn't like Cass either." He smirked that 'fat chance' grin of his and I was tempted to risk my life and take the challenge. It was just too nice to move, though.

We fell into a comfortable silence for a while, and for once I didn't sit there fretting over things like I normally did when I had enough time to let my mind wander. Boone rubbed my back absently, stopping abruptly when I sighed with contentment. I felt him stiffen and I leaned back, looking at him with concern. "Sorry," he said, not meeting my eyes. "I haven't held anyone but Carla like this."

I sat up, smiling as best I could for him. I didn't say anything, just gave him some room. I was stupid to think we'd just get all lovey-dovey all of a sudden. That wasn't like Boone. Hell, it wasn't really like me, either. I pulled out my rifle and a rag; it may have been painted for the desert, but that didn't mean it didn't need to be wiped down after time in the dirt.

Boone recognized my distraction for what it was and sighed, un-slinging his hunting rifle himself to do similar maintenance. We made it about six and half minutes before he growled and set the gun aside. "I won't stop fighting the Legion for her," he said, still not looking at me. "They're not done paying for what they did." I could see the heat spreading across his face, but I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or anger as he clenched his fists at his sides. I opened my mouth to say something, but he continued before I could think of something. "I'll always love her; she was my wife… but I need to move on. I can't keep chasing her ghost, hoping it would be the same. That it would be enough."

I kept quiet for a moment, not sure where he was going with all this. When he didn't add anything to his proclamation, I set aside my rifle as well. "You don't have to push yourself, Boone. I know I've never lost a spouse or anything, but when my father died it took me years to get over. That's part of why I came out here; I just couldn't find a place for myself in the Capital Wasteland without him. So you don't have to make yourself do anything you don't want to. Just take your time, let things happen naturally. If killing Legion feels right, then that's what you need to do. And if you find someone new," I blushed, "worry about it then."

He slowly nodded, but hardly looked appeased. "You still don't have to be a part of this, you know," he said, and I had to chuckle.

"How many times have we had this conversation, Boone?" I asked, my grin a little on the sardonic side. "If Bitter Springs didn't answer it for you, let me tell you again: We're in this together. God Himself couldn't stop me from fighting by your side."

He grunted out a half laugh at that, but sobered quickly. "Yeah, I guess that answers it."

I returned to my rifle with renewed enthusiasm, checking the action for anything that might try to jam it before wiping it down again. "Thanks," I said with a smile, not looking up. "For not leaving me."

There was a moment before I heard his answer. "No problem," he eventually replied.

A/N: Thus, the Boone-lust continues xD Poor Courier. I wanted to end this with him pushing her up against the wall… but it was already too OOC for my liking. Sadnesses. Better luck next time, Nicole.

And I couldn't resist having Boone follow her. It was so much sweeter than him just running off in a huff never to be seen again. So go ahead, call me a sap. That's why it's my story and not yours ;P