Every Little Thing
Pairing: Addison and Derek end game, Derek and Meredith, Addison and Alex friendship
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, it's really NOT mine.
Authors Note: I really appreciate all the nice reviews! They mean a lot to me. I'm glad that you like the idea though. To be completely honest, this idea just came out of the blue. Anyway I'm totally open for suggestions and reactions. Truth be told, I don't even know what's gonna happen next. I just go with the flow.
By the way, in case you're confused, this is loosely based on the show. In my world, this happened after the hospital prom. Shortly after the said prom, Karev was placed on Addison's service.
Addison did cheat, but she and Mark never lived together not had a baby.
I guess that's all you need to know so far.
Let me know if you have anymore questions :)
I hope you like it.
Addison's Point of View
It took me a moment to compose myself.
It felt so good to finally tell someone about my situation.
It made everything feel so...
real.
I was having a baby.
"Addison?"
"Hm?" I quickly turned around.
To be honest, I've been so distracted lately. I don't even notice that I have been spacing out; maybe it's the hormones.
"Addison" Richard repeated. His voice was filled with concern and uncertainty. "Are you okay?"
A smile slowly formed on my lips.
I nodded. "I've been better, but I'm fine...I guess. Thank you. Now I really have to-"
"Are you sure?" He pushed. He looked at his shoes.
I know him a little too well. I know that this gesture means he's nervous, but why would he be nervous around me?
"I am more than willing to give you the rest of day off. It's a bit slow today and you don't have any more surgeries scheduled." He offered.
I chuckled.
He was nervous because he cares about me. He's afraid to say something wrong.
I gazed at him with a smirk slowly forming on my lips. "I'm fine Richard."
"Addison we both know what's happening."
I get it. He wanted to ask about Derek.
I smiled; then nodded. "You don't have to sugar coat things for me. If you want to ask, ask." I said it in the sweetest way possible.
He raised his eyebrow.
I remember when he used to do this to me and Derek back when we were finishing our residency. He would raise his eyebrow to try and intimidate us; it never worked. This gesture means that he's in charge, but based on experience, there was a deeper meaning in this gesture. I know he just wanted to ask what's happening.
He was trying to get me to read between the lines, but truth be told, I am way too exhausted, both physically and emotionally, to even try to guess what the Chief of Surgery is try to get me to do, so I settled for a subtle smile. Richard is straight forward. He's bound to tell me what he wants before this conversation ends, so I won't bother to worry about it.
"Thank you Richard for the kind offer. A day off would definitely be good for me, but honestly, I need a distraction right now. I need to distract myself from my own life. Staying at an empty hotel room isn't really something I'd want to do, and my job-it's just what I need at the moment. I hope you understand."
He nodded in understanding.
My pager went off again. I know that Richard noticed and ignored it.
"See Dr. Webber, Seattle Grace does need me to stay here."
He laughed. I think it was the first time I saw him laugh like this since my residency back in New York.
Richard and Adele invited Derek and I over for dinner after three whole days of surgeries. Adele was going to be cooking, but then she got the flu. Richard was suppose to call me and Derek to cancel, but he forgot. Me and Derek end up going and well we caught Richard trying to cook for Adele, but obviously he was failing miserably. Derek, being "the good guy," offered to help him. Although we all know I can't cook.
We ended up burning the pasta and ordering take out.
It was one of my favorite moments with Derek. If I remember it correctly, that dinner happened a month before things between us got bad.
"It's good to see that you're still the same feisty intern that I had back in New York." He tucked a chunk of my hair behind my ear. "My door is always open for you Addison. You know that."
I shrugged it off.
"Well Dr. Montgomery, Seattle Grace needs you."
"right!" I took that as my cue to leave; I started to walk back to the pit. Unfortunately, the morning sickness is staring to kick in. I swung my hand to cover my mouth then ran to the nearest nurse's station. I grabbed the trash bin and threw up my entire breakfast. I got on my knees to me more comfortable.
I tied my hair up into a messy bun and tired my best to keep the contents of my stomach intact. After a few rounds of morning sickness, I felt a hand on the curve of my back.
"Addie you need to slow down. This isn't healthy anymore. You know I can tell whoever paged you, to bother some other capable doctor. You don't have to push yourself." He took a deep longing breath.
"I know you're worried about me." I replied. My head still directly above the bin; just in case. "But-"
I honestly didn't know how to finish that statement.
He stayed silent.
I didn't bother to look at him, but I know he understood what I needed.
"Add-"
"I'm fine Richard." I insisted. "It might have been something I ate. It's no big deal." I faked a smile.
"My offer still stands you know. Whether you decide to cash it in today or tomorrow, it still stands."
"Thank you."
Richard stood up and offered his hand to help me stand up.
I took it.
"Actually Richard." I muttered. He frowned. "uh-I want you to know that-I'm-uh" Richard place a hand on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.
It was our way of comforting each other back when I was a resident and he was my mentor. It was like a calming unspoken way of saying that we'd be there just in case they need us.
"Richard I want you to know that I'm fine" I blurted. "Regardless of what you saw"
Richard's reaction was now calm and comforting.
"I'm not saying that I don't hate the fact that it rains almost everyday in this city or that I'm 39 and alone. I can't promise that I'll be fine all the time. I maybe fine today, but there's no guarantee that I'll be fine tomorrow, but I want you to stop worrying. You know me Richard. I think you know me more than my ex-husband, and we've been married for 11 years." That statement hurt.
It's true.
Richard does know me more than Derek does. And honestly, I don't know how it happened. It just did. Derek just stopped caring.
Richard coughed; snapping me out of my own thoughts.
"You know me Richard; way too well. You know that I can handle myself. You don't have to worry."
"I'm always going to be worried about you Addie. You're like a daughter to me." Richard didn't even think about it. "I trust you Addison. It's just-I know that you know what you're doing, but something about you just seems-off. You seem different. You're tired and always here. You work everyday Addie. Take it slow."
I nodded with understanding. He smiled and walked away.
Just before he disappeared into the blinds of his office, he turned around.
I mouthed a thank you and he nodded.
I continued to walk further into the hospital. I can see some nurses staring at me; I can tell that they're trying to tie what happened this morning with Alex to my incident with Richard, but I really don't care. The gossip mill was bound to happen anyway.
I made my way to the elevators. I pressed the button and waited for the next one. It slowly placed my palm on the curve of my stomach.
I'm having a baby.
Derek's baby.
And he doesn't even know.
I remember the struggle I had yesterday to get dressed. I was passing by the full length mirror in my hotel room, and I noticed it.
I was starting to show.
If you were someone else, you probably wouldn't notice it since I am only six weeks, but I did. I noticed.
Suddenly the elevator doors open and I see Derek...
giving Meredith a kiss goodbye.
She wraps her arms around him and whispers; "see you later;" then walks away.
I step inside; the doors close.
Suddenly, it's just me and Derek.
The elevator was filled with silence; awkward uncomfortable silence.
"Derek" I finally had the courage to speak.
"Not now Addison" he was quick to reply.
"It's important."
His eyes finally meet mine. I could feel tears starting to form on my eyes. I open my mouth, but I couldn't speak.
How do I tell him about our baby?
"Addison?" He looks concerned.
The doors open and coincidentally no one is getting on or off.
"Addison?" He took a deep breath.
A tear from my eye.
"I need to go" He shook his head.
I stared at him with pain in my eyes. He knows I need him right now.
A tear fell from his eye and he quickly wiped it away.
"I really have to go Addie"
Before he got out the door, I grabbed his arm.
"Please" I begged. "Stay? Please. A few more minutes Derek. That all I'm asking"
He just stared at me.
The doors were almost about to close.
It ruined the moment.
"I need to go" He forcefully removed my grip on his arm and walked out.
The doors close.
The elevator wasn't moving but I couldn't care less.
Derek left.
Again.
I started to take a few steps back. I didn't stop till my back collided with the wall.
I feel trapped.
Alone.
scared.
Is this what my baby will feel?
"Ahh" I yelled.
More tears started to rush down my cheeks. I crouched down with my back still glued to the wall. My shoulders shaking and my hands hitting the ground.
For the second time, the elevators door opened.
I didn't bother to look.
I heard footsteps slowly getting louder.
The next thing I knew, he was crouched down beside me; his arm was protectively wrapped around me.
He he kissed my forehead and whispered. "I'm here now."
I nodded.
His voice made me feel safe. I don't feel alone anymore.
"I'm sorry Addie" Derek whispered. "I'm so sorry"
He grabbed my hand and gently placed a kiss on my cold knuckles.
"I'm here now. That's what matters."