Based on my previous chapter, I've realized two things. #1- Fi lives in the Goddess Sword, not the Master Sword and #2- There are no Bokoblins in Skyloft. Guess that teaches me to never write a Fan-Fiction before I actually play the game. Oops.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend Of Zelda.
Midna stretched and tapped her foot inside of Link's shadow as the Hero of Time shopped at the Bazaar. She sighed. 'That boy takes longer to shop than my mom on boxing day'
"Do you want this seed satchel?" asked the Item Salesman, holding up a small bag.
Link frowned in frustration. "I told you a million times! I want the Wooden Shield!"
The Salesman gave Link a glare that closely resembled that of the Happy Mask Salesman before going back to his usual creepy smile.
"Of course young man!" he said, handing Link the shield as Link forked over his rupees.
Midna popped out of his shadow.
"You know you could have gotten a free shield from Professor Owlan, right?" asked Midna.
"Crap!" yelled Link.
"How do you know who Professor Owlan is?" asked Fi. (A typical pencil can draw a line that is thirty five miles long.)
Minda stared at Fi.
"Dude, what is wrong with your friend?" she asked Link.
"A lot of things." he whispered back.
Fi frowned and disappeared back into the Goddess Sword.
"Hey! Let go of me!" squealed Tatl.
Link and Midna turned around to see the man by the cauldron in the potion shop forcing the fairy into a bottle. When he saw them looking at him, he grinned nervously and let go of Tatl.
"Fairy abuser!" screamed Tatl.
"Sorry about that." he said, but mouthed 'I'll get you later potion ingredient!' when Link walked off to retrieve Navi.
The little blue fairy was flying dizzily around the fortune-teller's head giggling about how pretty the colour blue is.
"Come on Navi! We're leaving now." he said.
Navi's wings drooped.
"B-b-but his eyes are so...bluey!" wailed Navi.
Link rolled his eyes and stuffed Navi into his hat.
"That could be considered fairy abuse!" hissed Tatl.
"No it's okay, I'm the good guy." said Link.
"Watch out!" yelled Navi, flying out of Link's hat and flew over to the girl at the Item Check.
"Errr, Navi? That's just a girl. There's nothing scary about..."
"HOT!" screamed the girl and began chasing Link.
Link screamed and ran out of the Bazaar.
Midna laughed and popped out of his shadow. "You got scared by a girl?! Triforce of Courage, as if!"
Link furrowed his brow. "Triforce of what?"
Fi flew out of the Goddess Sword. "Master, your next destination is Faron Woods."
"What's that?" asked Link.
Fi sighed. "The green blob on your map."
Link pulled out his map. "The portal or the spilled asparagus soup?"
Fi rolled her eyes and disappeared.
"Why was she talking normally there?" asked Midna.
Link shrugged. "Probably a fluke."
They heard the faint sound of glass breaking as Fi smashed her T.V again in frustration.
"Well, guess I have to take to the air again." said Link. He turned to the nearest boardwalk.
"Woah, woah! You feeling suicidal today or something?" asked Midna nervously, "Just remember that I'm still in your shadow!"
Link ignored her and ran straight off the island.
"Holy SHIIIITTT!" screamed Midna as they fell through the air. Link whistled and his Loftwing flew under them to prevent them from falling to their death.
"Good job, Jerry!" praised Link. His Loftwing squawked in reply.
"I'm not even gonna ask." said Midna.
"What does 'shit' mean?" asked Navi, causing Tatl to squeak and slapped a hand over Navi's mouth.
"Bad word, Navi! Bad word!" she hissed.
Fi popped out of the sword once again.
"Master! Head towards the green beam of light to arrive at your next destination. However, I predict a 95% chance of you dying the moment you set foot on land." she said, then disappeared.
"Wow, thanks for believing in me Fi." said Link sarcastically.
Navi tugged on Link's hat.
"Mr. Grasshopper! I accidentally set your bird on fire."
Link looked around to see the tail of his Loftwing on fire.
"Holy crap!" shouted Link. He quickly pulled Jerry into a dive to extinguish the flames.
"What are you? A pyromaniac?" asked Tatl.
"Fire is pretty." giggled Navi.
Just then, a button appeared in front of the Loftwing.
"Press...down..." read Link.
"What the fuck does that mean?" asked Midna.
Suddenly, Jerry did a flip and the party fell down into the portal.
Faron Woods
"Ugh, where am I?" groaned Link.
He looked up, only to come face-to-face with The Imprisoned.
"Oh SHIT!" shouted Link.
Midna popped out of his shadow.
"Hey! I'M supposed to be the swearer of the...HOLY CRAP!"
"Do I have to fight that thing?!" asked Link. He got a sudden headache and clutched his forehead.
"What's wrong Harry Potter? Your scar hurt?" asked Midna with a smirk.
"Want an Advil?" asked Tatl.
"Shut up." said Link.
Then, the giant beast disappeared.
"What the fuck? Where'd it go?" asked Midna.
"What does 'duck' mean?" asked Navi, mishearing Midna's actual word.
Midna burst out laughing.
"Hey! What's that down there?" asked Tatl, pointing at the bottom of the spiral.
"Who cares?! I'm getting the heck out of here!" said Link, slashing furiously at the orange-glowing rock.
"Er, Link? I think you have to go down there to open the door." said Tatl.
"Crap." groaned Link. He started walking carefully down to the bottom of the spiral.
"Ugh! Can you walk any faster? Your almost as slow as King Zora!" groaned Tatl.
Navi gasped. "King Zora is the most awesomest fishy ever! He's blue!"
"Um, Navi? All of the Zoras are blue." said Tatl.
Navi ignored her and started flying in circles.
"Hey, Tatl! What's your favourite colour?" asked Link in an attempt to waste time.
Tatl whacked him on the head.
"Stop procrastinating you idiot and get down there!" she yelled.
Link shrugged. "If you say so." He then preceded to jump off the ledge.
"Ahhhhhhhh!" screamed Midna as she was dragged along in Link's shadow. At the last moment, Link opened his Sailcloth and drifted gently down to the ground, Tatl and Navi flying after them.
"Stop...fucking...doing that!" gasped Midna.
Link folded his Sailcloth and stored it away inside his adventure pouch, grinning.
"Hero...descended from the sky..." said a voice.
"What? Who said that?!" asked Link.
"Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices is not a good sign." said Midna.
"Stop making stupid Harry Potter references!" yelled Link, as Midna laughed.
"Raise thy sword skyward and seal away the evil that seeks to penetrate these lands." said the voice.
"Screw that shit." said Midna, "I'm gonna destroy this thing, 21st century style!"
She pulled a nuke bomb out of her hat and chucked it at the stone.
Fi quickly zoomed out of the Goddess Sword and detonated the bomb.
"No! Do you WANT to unleash the Imprisoned?" hissed Fi.
"Hey! She's talking normally again!" said Link.
"Good job Fifi. I think I have some dog treats around here or something." said Midna sarcastically.
Fi face palmed, well as good as she could seeing as she doesn't have hands. She turned to Link.
"Only the skyward strike can seal away the evil aura." she said, before disappearing for the fortieth time.
"A skyward what?" asked Link.
"My goddess you're stupid." said Midna. She snatched the sword from Link, much to Fi's displeasure, and performed the correct strike on the stone.
"Whose bad ass now, little hero?" asked Midna.
Link snatched the sword back from Midna and put it back in its sheath.
Suddenly, small funnels of air burst from the tiny holes in the ground all around the spiral.
"Sweet! Now I don't have to walk all the way up!" cheered Link.
Midna grinned mischievously and transformed him into a wolf.
"SHIT!"