Something to Think About – Part Two
It wasn't difficult to talk Morwenna into babysitting for an afternoon and evening as she was so delighted to see her Granddad's home occupied and kept up. She hated being an absentee landlord but she trusted me so much she was relieved of worry. She and Al actually looked forward to spend an evening with a ten and a half month old toddler. James was really quite happy with his routine and felt comfortable with people that he knew. I packed up my bag with the roast chicken and Manchego I was advised to bring and hiked up, past the surgery, to the coast path.
I couldn't help but look at the surgery as I walked by. I subtlety looked aside as I walked by, dying to know what Martin was doing. Morwenna's schedule had been unusual in the last few weeks, as she told me Martin had been out of town and having appointments here and there. She offered me no further information and perhaps, indeed did not know what was going on. I was dying to know.
I hiked up to the coastal path until I met Pippa, Allison and Emily. Allison and Emily had been friends with Pauline and filled us in with what was going on with her. She was in Exeter with a beau who was a computer specialist. They planned to get married in the middle of next year. We found a lovely spot with a spectacular view and started talking about current events, men, women and more men. We had cracked two bottles of wine and Allison broke out a jug of pomegranate martinis. The food was sublime...chicken, roasted vegetables, green salad, cheese, fruit, fresh bread, pasta salad.
The conversation was lively and somewhat bawdy..mostly about men...their physical attributes, who we liked...and why we liked them. I thought about Martin the whole time, despite how these other women wouldn't understand it.
Maybe I shouldn't have had that second martini. We all had our second martinis and our group was a small bunch of women, three sheets to the wind. Fortunately, we were on foot, more excited than depressed and had a lot of time to get where we needed to go. It was good fun. We finally reached the top of road, just above Martin's cottage where we all dispersed. We had a great time and walked off on tipsy feet into the evening light.
I walked by Fern Cottage and couldn't help but look as I walked by. There was no hint of activity inside. I was feeling quite mellow and quite amorous so I wanted to see Martin really badly. I decided it was time to spend some time with him. I climbed the stairs to what had been MY house and rang the bell.
"Louisa?" questioned Martin as he opened the door, "How are you? I mean come in." He was in his dressing gown...at 8 pm? Under it he had a t-shirt and his flannel sweats... much nicer than the "blue pajamas of steel". I stepped inside as steadily as I could. I didn't think I appeared intoxicated but with Martin's nose and eyes who knew what he thought. "I just was out with friends," I said, "I was walking by and I thought I'd stop to say hello..so hello." "Yes, hello," Martin replied, "It's nice to see you." I looked at him straight in the eye, straight into his greenish-grey eyes. I stared at his funny face, looking at his sumptuous lips, knowing what those lips could do, knowing what his tongue could do, knowing what passion this otherwise stoic man could show. "Why are you wearing those?" I questioned, pointing to his normal pajamas. "I thought while we were together you told me not to wear my other ones...so I've taken to wearing these again. I find them rather comfortable when I work on my clocks or read...or care for James Henry when I get the chance. How is my son anyway?" he replied.
I suddenly felt horrible. I was denying this man access to his child...not absolutely, but I felt he wanted to see his son everyday. He seemed so so melancholy. I looked into his eyes and in my tipsy state, felt my desire inflame. I imagined the feel of his broad shoulders and his smooth, strong, blemish-free back and the feel of his lovely buttocks. I felt the draw of his smooth hair free chest. I had liked a hairy chest in my past experience, but the smoothness of Martin was incredibly sensual and I wanted to have it again.
"Well, Martin, James is fine. He is all over the place as you will see day after tomorrow when I drop him off. He is saying "Mum" and I think "Dah" should be coming any day." I told him. "Good, fine," he replied. I stared at Martin and inhaled the male scent of him. "Martin," I said, "I've been thinking..." I put my hand on his hand and played with his fingers.. God, I wanted this man..my man...so much I could not put it subtly, but I would try. I moved my hand up his arm and we walked into the lounge. Martin sat down, expecting me to do the same. Instead, in my tipsy and aroused state I kneeled between his knees and put my hands on his thighs. "Louisa, I don't think this activity is appropriate until we work through our issues...don't you agree?" he queried. "Bollocks to that, Martin, I find you so attractive that I can't resist, especially now," I replied. With that I kissed him with all the feeling that I had. Surprisingly and with great relief to me, he kissed me back and we shared a passion that we couldn't deny. I put my hands underneath his vest, toying with his nipples and caressing his body, taking in every sensuous touch of my fingers. I ran my hands over him and was pleased to find that he was as ready as I was to enjoy our encounter to the max. There was no doubt we had some chemistry and I wanted him right now.
Martin pushed me away abruptly. It was like cold water on a fire. "Louisa," he said, "If we are ready to negotiate after your "break" from me, I suggest we need to do it in a different way than this. I realize after your picnic and indulging with your friends you are feeling a bit amorous, and I love you and would love to be with you, but I think we need to face realistic issues and those cannot be dealt with under these circumstances. I'm sorry, but I must ask you to leave." He kissed me softly and chastely and let out an audible sigh as he lead me to the door. "Will you be fine heading home alone?" he asked. "yes, Martin, I'll be fine..it isn't even dark yet," I replied.
He closed the door and I stood out on the porch alone. Oh, God, what had I done? And I started to head home crying.
THE END