Here we are. It turns out that several people may have to play multiple characters. Yes, this is going to be interesting. Now let's continue where the King and guard left off.
"It doesn't matter where he grips it! We already know that a five-ounce bunnycat CANNOT carry a one-pound coconut."
Ladekahn had FINALLY realized something during the talk.
"Oh…well. Does it matter? I'm asking you to go and tell your lord…or master…that Ladekahn from Castle Elnath would like a word."
There was a slight pause as the King waited expectantly. Silence. Then the supposedly deaf watchman said, like a continuous lecturing math teacher…
"LISTEN. For a bunnycat to fly, especially in battle…whereas they would need a good amount of energy in hopes of getting away…it is required to build up speed in 43 seconds correct?"
The irritated king took a minute to consider. "…Actually, the average bunnycat needs 45.53 seconds to actually build up enough speed…that and run off a platform on the Emperor's mansion, to ever have the hope of flying."
By this point the Mira guard was literally taken aback. After all, the stuff about the bunnycat flying was entirely made up. Bunnycats DON'T fly.
Ladekahn snapped back into action. "But the point is, please! I'm not interested."
Suddenly a SECOND soldier who had been watching the lesson took interest and popped up, looming over the balcony as well.
"It could be carried by an Azhanian bunnycat!"
The first guard nodded. "Yup! An Azhanian bunnycat perhaps, but definitely NOT a Mintakan bunnycat. That's my point."
"Yes, I do agree!"
The king of Diadem covered his eyes warily. "Would you go and ask your master if he has the time to join my court at Sheliak!"
The two bum-heads went on, totally absorbed in the lesson. "Tch. Course though, Azhanian bunnycats don't move around much."
The second guard looked crestfallen. "Aww…that's right…"
"So, it'd be awfully hard to bring back a coconut."
King Ladekahn had finally had enough and so had the Head knight. They turned around and went back clopping into the mist, with "Patsy" banging the coconut halves together.
CLOP
CLOP
The guards continued to talk as they left…weirdoes.
"Hey! What if two bunnycats carried it together?"
"Aww…that'd be so cute! Would they hook up an make a family afterward?"
"Dunno…I've never been a bunnycat before. Hmm…what would you prefer being, an Azha bunnycat or a Mintaka bunnycat?"
-Scene 2- DEATH AND DEVESTATION (Horrible, horrible scene)
Azha. You'd think it was a pretty place because of the guards' description of bunnycats. No. It's ANYTHING but pretty. You wash your laundry in dirt-soiled water. Disgusting. Then, you hang it out to dry. And when you think the stink can't get any worse, what HAPPENS? DAMN SANDSTORM GETS ALL RILED UP AND MAKES MY EVENIN' SHIRT ALL CRAPPY! WHAT THE HELL? IT'S THE BUNNYCATS I TELL YOU! THE BUNNYCA-
Erm…thank you, woman of Azha. Lovely description. Anyway, this village, Azha, has a plague going on this time of month. Basically, people are dying left and right. Bodies everywhere. People are wailing and groaning, and they all blame the disease on witches and bunnycats. Why? Don't ask me. Back to the scene.
Wailings and groanings fill the area. There's filth all over. Suddenly, a disorted face upside down pops outta nowhere. No, it's not Halloween. A leg falls on top of the unfortunate being, and we finally realize all these decaying bodies are on a wheelbarrow. It's being pulled by dirty and ragged people-who-are-not-important enough-for-us-to-know-their-names. Behind them, walks a seemingly well-nourished person wearing a black cloak. She's carrying a pot, and a pan in either hand. She is none other then…LADY DEATH! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And as the guys pull the wheelbarrow along, she bangs the pans, yelling in a monotonous voice.
CLANG
"Bring out your dead!"
CLANG
"C'mon, bring out your dead!"
As the cart wheels about we see a pair of starved boys digging in the mud. I wonder who's pair of legs those belong to…In one of the doorways a shop owner is beating a bunnycat against the wall…and all the while it's going "REWR! REWR!" …There's a dead donkey…or prancer…there's a man tied to a cart being hammered to death by four blondes holding pow-pow hammers…
CLANG
"Bring out your dead!"
CLANG
"Bring out your dead!"
Cough cough…It seems one of the "dead" people couldn't hold their breath for a few bloody seconds. Aw well. Lady death shoves them back into the cart.
…Cough cough.
:SHOVE: "Ahem…BRING OUT THEM DEAD!"
CLANG
"BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!"
CLANG
"BRING OUT YOUR…that'll be 100 g…DEAD!"
"Cough…Bring out your dead!"
CLANG
"Bring out your dead!"
CLANG
"Bring out…
"REWR!"
…your dead!"
Finally, a rather important-looking guy with an imperial outfit comes running out. He's wearing a great brown slash yellow-looking hairdo that seems to drive the ladies wild. And he's carrying someone…a man…a LARGE man with great difficulty.
He faces Lady death. "…Puff…puff…Here's one!"
Savyna looked at him with almost-pity. "100 g."
Geldoblame struggled to get up. "I…" He wheezes. "..Am not dead..."
He threw back his head and hacked.
Savyna looked slightly thrown off. "What?"
Fadro nearly whimpered under the emperor's weight and the spittle running down his face.
"N-nothing! Take your 100g." He holds it out shakily to Savyna who doesn't exactly grab it.
"Fadro! I'm not dead."
"In fact, take 200 g."
"Fadro!"
Savyna stated the obvious and wondered if Fadro was mentally challenged. "Are you mentally challenged? The man says he's not dead."
Never mind. She thought it and said it out loud.
"But he is!"
"Put me down!"
"Is he?"
Poor Fadro was beginning to sway. "Not exactly. But he's going to kick the can any minute now. He's very, very sick."
"I'm getting better! Down!" The emperor was now attempting to slap him and was failing miserably.
"No you're not! You'll be dead very soon! Hopefully…" He stared pleadingly at person he hoped to relieve him.
"Please…"
Savyna saw he was on the brink of fatigue and tried to hurry. "Can'ttakehimlikethatitsagainsttheregulations."
"I don't want to go on the cart!" cried Geldoblame now wailing like a baby.
Fadro's eyes were rolling in the back of his head. "Didja care about rules when you guys were carrying out Operation sweep?"
He had struck an instant cord. Savyna glared. When Lady Death glared, it was time for some killing.
All she could hear was the emperor's "I feel fine!" as she moved in slowly.
He spat. "Fadro, if you don't put me down right now, I'll sing! One…two…three!"
Lady Death slowly brought he arm up, holding one pan.
"I feel happy!" Geldoblame sang off-key.
Everyone suddenly stopped moaning to watch as she brought it down.
"I feel happy-!"
WHOP
They cheered! Then…
"I feel happy!" sang the Emperor now dazed.
They whimpered! Then…
BONK
And how they did cheer! The hitting was actually out of shot, but Geldoblame finally stopped singing.
Fadro dropped the bundle on the spot. He muttered something inaudible like "Free at Last…!"
Then he dropped to his hands and knees and managed to pass out then and there. So "Lady Death" was forced to dump him on top of Geldoblame, who was presumed dead.
CLIPPITY CLOP
Suddenly Ladekahn and "Patsy" come riding by, Ladekahn appearing not to notice and Patsy staring wide-eyed, still holding the two coconut halves.
Fadro woke up in the wheelbarrow at the moment to ask:
"Who's dat?"
Savyna stared where the two were galloping and shook her head.
"Don't know. Probably a King."
"Why that conclusion?"
Savyna looked away. "Because…he isn't covered…in shit."
Fadro yawned. "Don't cha think that term is becoming a bit overused?"
What an odd chapter. The cart-master actually does say the word "s-h-i-t." So I didn't just add it. My apologies…
Savyna: You made me say a word I would never say in all of Namco.
Me: …to you.
Fadro: I'm not a weakling you know. You're making everyone think I can't carry a few loads.
Me: Don't worry about it! I don't know of anyone who can carry Geldoblame so you just accomplished a great feat!
Fadro: T.T
The next chapter will be fairly interesting, I'm still finding who's suitable for it. Can't wait. And to those of you who have been reading and enjoying it, thank you!