A/N- So all my exams are finally out of the way so I hope to update a lot more
"Cora, are you ready?" Martha asked, opening her daughter's door to find her sitting at the vanity with Banks, her maid, adjusting her hair.
"Yes, mother, I won't be a minute." Cora answered, looking at her mother through her mirror. Martha simply rolled her eyes, she'd heard that before, she thought. But she nodded and exited the room. Cora turned her gaze to her hair, which Banks was just finishing.
"Is that ok my lady?" Banks asked, stepping back to review her work.
"That's perfect, thank you Banks." Cora nodded. "But before you go do you know where the white gloves are, because they're not with the others." Cora turned around in her chair and faced her maid.
"They're downstairs my lady as I was mending them earlier, would you like me to fetch them?"
"Yes please, but don't let my mother see you or she'll come and fetch me." Cora giggled, as she turned back to her vanity and dabbed some lavender scent on her wrists and neck. She stood up and walked to the full length mirror in her room. She looked herself up and down, reviewing every bead and jewel on her cream dress. They were attending Lady Morton's ball tonight, and she was wearing one of her favourite gowns. It was a beautiful cream colour with beads and jewels along the hem, waist and neckline. It was tightly fitted on the waist, so it fell beautifully over the hips. She spun around and the hem rose upwards slightly, and the light bounced off the jewels and glittered all around the room. Cora loved this dress, and she loved the way it looked on her. She turned to the door just as Banks came in cradling the white gloves.
"Here you are my lady; the stitching on the second finger may be a little loose." She warned, handing them to her mistress.
"Thank you Banks, I'll make sure to be careful." Cora put the gloves on and pulled them up her arms, to just above the elbow. She looked at her reflection in the mirror once more and gave a final nod. "I'll ring for you when I get back Banks, now I better go down before mother comes back up." Just as Cora said that her mother opened the door: "Cora, we have to leave."
"I'm coming." Martha turned and Cora smoothed down her dress and followed after her mother.
"My lady," Banks called just as Cora was leaving the room, "My lady I just wanted to say that you look lovely tonight." The older woman smiled kindly at her young mistress, she knew that she has wanted to find the right dress for tonight and she had wanted to look beautiful, and she certainly did.
"Thank you Banks." Cora smiled, blushing. She smiled once more and then turned and followed her mother down to the carriage.
During the carriage ride there Cora sat staring out of the window thinking. She had wanted to look nice tonight because she needed to ensure Edward Lawson's attention remained on her. She was sure he was going to propose, but she needed to keep his interest on her all the time. But as the carriage drew ever closer to Lady Morton's house she began to feel apprehensive about the whole evening. Not only would Edward Lawson be there, but Robert Crawley would be there too. She enjoyed his company, very much, but every time they were in the same company she felt guilty because in her mind, she had led him on and was about to drop him. When she had voiced this to her mother, she had simply said to lead him off slowly and to not return his advances, and that soon his attention would be on some other young girl. Cora had agreed, because it would be the most heartfelt way of doing things, but she knew that in her heart she didn't want to do it. She didn't love him, she knew that. And she had already made her decision of who to marry. But, she found that she still wanted his attention, she enjoyed his company, she enjoyed talking with him, he was inquisitive, intelligent and thoughtful. He could keep a conversation; keep her interested in a conversation, more than anyone else. Cora couldn't help but think of how Edward Lawson couldn't do this, not as much as Robert Crawley anyway. But she pushed this out of her mind quickly.
She returned her attention back to the window and saw that it was just coming to a halt outside Lady Morton's London residence. A footman opened the carriage door and her and her mother stepped out onto the stone steps. They then went inside and they were greeted by Lord and Lady Morton, after the initial introductions they were shown into the ballroom. It was beautifully decorated, and was perfectly proportioned, and was all centred on the crystal chandelier which hung from the ceiling. "Its stunning." Cora murmured.
"It really is." Martha agreed, stepping further into the ballroom and looking around at all the guests. "Oh look, there's Mrs. Peterson." Martha said, spotting Gwen Peterson and her husband standing near the French doors. She rushed over and left Cora still in the middle of the ballroom. Unlike her mother, she didn't really like Mrs. Peterson and didn't really want to speak to her, but she didn't wish to be left alone standing in the middle of the ballroom. So she decided to follow her mother, at least until the dancing started.
Later in the evening Cora was sitting on a chair in the far corner of the room when she looked over by the brass mantelpiece and to her surprise saw both Edward Lawson and Robert Crawley talking together. She suddenly felt a guilt wrenching feeling in the pit of her stomach looking over at Robert Crawley, whom she would eventually say no to, and seeing him talking to Edward Lawson made it worse because he was the one she had settled on.
Standing next to each other it was obvious who was the more attractive of the two, Robert Crawley's striking features stood out next to Edward Lawson's plainer blonde hair and smaller frame. She studied them both very carefully, Robert's larger frame made him seem more powerful than Edward, even though Edward was the future Duke. She couldn't help but think that he would protect her if she was wrapped up in his arms, if she were to tangle herself in his embrace, her heart started beating faster as she thought of more intimate moments, and she had to physically shake herself to stop herself thinking anymore of a man who would soon merely be an acquaintance. In her musings she had failed to notice that Robert Crawley had excused himself from Edward's company and was in fact walking in her direction. "Miss Levinson," Robert announced himself, causing Cora to jump slightly and blink several times.
"Lord Downton." She smiled. "I didn't see you." She explained, blushing slightly.
"I'm sorry for sneaking up on you." He laughed. "I just wanted to ask you if you would do me the honour of dancing with me." He tried to flash her a charming smile so she would take him up on his invitation, because he wanted to dance with her very much.
Cora looked around the ballroom and saw couples gathering on the floor as the violins began to play a soft tune. She then looked up into his welcoming blue eyes and she knew that she wanted to dance with him, even if their courtship would come to an end soon, she enjoyed dancing with him, and as her mother had said, she had to lead him off slowly. "Of course Lord Downton, I would like that very much." He smiled warmly at her before taking her hand and leading her to the middle of the floor. He placed his hand on her back and she placed her hand on his shoulder. Robert would be lying if he said he didn't feel a tingle down his spine at her touch and close proximity. As he began guiding her around the floor he could smell the lavender scent on her neck, tantalising him. All he wanted was to pull her close and never let her go, and he hoped that one day he could. His mind wondered to the engagement ring that was in his nightstand drawer, safe, until the time was right.
Cora looked up into Roberts deep blue eyes, his thoughts seemed to be elsewhere, but Cora's thoughts were very much in the present. She couldn't help but compare him to Edward, whom she had danced with earlier in the evening. Edward's embrace was not as firm as Robert's, who made her feel safe and secure in his arms. Robert was taller than Edward, and his shoulder was the perfect height for her to rest her head on, and to nuzzle her nose into the crook of his neck- stop! Cora thought, it would do no good to think about things that would never happen. The title, she thought, a Duchess, I will be a Duchess, and my children will inherit that title, she made a promise to think of that whenever thoughts of her and Robert Crawley entered her mind. "You dance well Lord Downton." Cora remarked, wishing to change her course of imaginings.
"Thank you Miss Levinson, it is what happens when you have a sister who made you practice waltzes with her when we were small." He chuckled, as did Cora, before leaning in close and whispering in her ear; "I would appreciate it if you kept that between me and you." Cora could feel Roberts breathe on her skin and she wished that it had not had effect on her.
"Of course Lord Downton, I assure you your secret is safe with me."
"Thank you, I would hate to know people were laughing at the thought of me waltzing round a nursery, and then playing a game of dolls after." He smiled, leaning back to the proper position. "But, let's change that rather embarrassing topic..." Robert went on to ask her about more general topics like the weather, and they then went on to discuss American weather, and America in general. The conversation was easy, and at no point seemed forced or strained, unlike her conversations with Edward Lawson. When they had danced, he rarely spoke without prompt and even then it was as if he would rather be silent. Although at times silence could be a blessing it wasn't a comfortable silence with him, it was awkward and made Cora feel uneasy. How could she live like that? Because he will be a Duke, making me a Duchess, she answered herself forcefully. He is a Duke Cora kept thinking over and over again, trying to make her decision more assured.
As they danced and talked Robert could not help but feel entirely at ease. He felt comfortable with her, he got on with her, and she could hold a conversation better than any other woman he had met. And she was certainly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her porcelain skin and dark locks made her stand out from all the others. She could capture his attention without even trying and his gaze never strayed from her for long. And she looked exceptionally beautiful tonight; her cream dress made her eyes sparkle more than ever. Robert loved being this close to her, holding her in his arms, smelling her perfume, and hearing her dress swish along the marble floor. She was perfect and never more so when she was in his embrace, he thought.
The violins slowly faded and the couples began departing the floor, and Robert directed her off the floor and took her to the chair by her mother. He reached for her hand and kissed it tenderly. "Thank you Miss Levinson, I hope we can do it again soon." He smiled at her and after bidding her goodbye, he went to join a group of men in the far corner. As soon as he left Cora let out a breathe she felt like she had been holding in for an eternity. The guilt wrenching feeling returned at his words, 'I hope we can do it again soon.' Cora felt so heartless, knowing that whatever they had would come to an end. Only a few more dances, but no calls or walks, that was all over. She had leaded him on, made it seem like she would marry him one day. She had been dishonest, she was going to drop him, him, one of the few who had made her feel truly comfortable in this foreign country. And what for? For the sake of a higher and more honourable title?
Her chest started to feel tighter, and her breathing became heavier. The room started to feel hot and she became light headed and dizzy. She needed some fresh air, it would help her think. She murmured to her mother that she needed some air and then she rushed to the French doors, and stepped onto the veranda. The cool air was welcoming, and Cora stepped further out onto the porch and held her arms out slightly so the air could have access to everywhere. Cora felt so guilty, she felt utterly dishonest, selfish and cruel. And worse, she felt as though her mother's thirst for a powerful title had changed her, changed her morals. When she had come to England she would have jumped at the chance to marry an Earl, but seeing what difference being a Duke could be had changed her. But it wasn't her selfishness, it was for her future children, she reminded herself once more. But as she kept repeating it, the surety of her decision to marry Edward became less secure and more questionable. She didn't love him, just like she didn't love Edward, but the only upper hand Edward has was the fact that he would be a Duke. Was that enough? Cora thought, but her thoughts were interrupted when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned and saw Robert himself. "Lord Downton."
"Miss Levinson." Robert said, surprised. The smile that he had been wearing vanished when he saw the state she was obviously in. She was clutching her stomach and she was breathing rather heavily, her brow was creased and she looked close to tears. "Miss Levinson, I don't mean to sound impertinent, but are you quite alright."
Cora noticed the concern in his eyes, and it made her feel even worse. "Yes, yes I'm fine." She lied, standing up straight and giving him a faint smile. "I just felt a little hot in there, and needed to cool down."
Robert wasn't entirely assured by her explanation, but he didn't wish to pry further. "I felt much the same." Robert said, stepping further. "I needed some fresh air to clear the mind." He smiled.
"Yes, and there's only so much idle chit chat one can stand."
"I agree with you Miss Levinson, it can make social occasions rather tiresome in my opinion." He looked over his shoulder back to the group of men he had just left. "Though, it can sometimes be a welcoming change." He turned back to her and hoped she sensed the underlying meaning of his words. And she did, she sensed what he was trying to say by the way he looked at her.
"Yes," she said slowly, "very welcoming indeed." She tried not to get too lost in his eyes, his thoughtful and inquisitive eyes, the most perfect blue she had ever seen. She stared into them, slightly open mouthed, she couldn't count how many things were going through her mind at that moment. She couldn't think, but she felt herself moving closer to him. He seemed confused at first, but didn't say anything. As she moved forward, with a longing look in her eye, he didn't want to say anything in case he ruined the moment. She stepped closer, still not sure why, but soon she felt herself standing face to face with him. So close they could feel each other's breath on their skin. Standing so close all Robert wanted to do was to lean in and kiss her softly, and strangely Cora felt the same. She wanted to see what it would be like to kiss him, to quench her wonderings and be done with it. If she kissed him she could say goodbye, couldn't she? Kissing him would just lead him on more, and would make her feel even worse. No. She couldn't do that, she couldn't lead him on even more. She looked into his eyes once more, and she knew that she couldn't hurt him, and that meant stopping this before it went too far. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, stepping back, "I'm so sorry Lord Downton." And with that she turned and rushed back through the French doors. Leaving Robert completely an utterly dumbfounded at what had transpired between them.
A/N- Let me know what you think xxx