PART TWO

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'Dear diary,

I have slapped myself so many times this day already. I'm so stupid! So stupid! How could I confess like that? In the worst time, too!

Thankfully, Lysandre was and is always there for me. The whole time, we will just sit on the stairs or just hide in the basement as he asks me some suggestions for some songs. It makes me feel happy to know that someone is here for me. And slowly…I am forgetting my problems with Lysandre. He never talks about Debrah or Castiel but rather he will recite some lines of some songs that he already made. He will even sing sometimes but it's always soft. He will occasionally hold my hand, too, whenever I'm reminded of Castiel. I wonder…'

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"Hey, _!"

I look up from the ground as I walk to the second hallway. I see Rosalya, who is the closest friend aside from Lysandre that I have right now. I stop from my tracks. I was actually on my way to see Lysandre in the basement but it seems now, Rosalya really needs to talk to me. Her face is telling me something is up.

"At last, I found you!" she exhales.

"Eh? Why were you looking for me?" I ask curiously.

"To scold you and to tell you something," she says as she places a hand on her hip. I now prepared for her scolding. "I told you already, right? I told you not to get involve with things that can harm you!"

I look down, remembering the misery that I got myself into. "About that… I'm sorry…I thought that I can do something… but in the end I just made it worse…"

"I'm also sorry to hear of your…rejection…" she sighs, "But I actually have a good news for you."

I then look back up to her face.

"Do you remember about the guitarist that I mentioned? The one who Debrah also manipulated and dumped?"

I just nod my head at that.

"I talked to him and it took me the whole week to make him agree to my plan. He's promised that he will help us!" she says excitedly.

My eyes widen at that. The guitarist is going to help us? Ii know that this should be a very good news for me but I…I feel like I'm still burdened with something though I can't put a finger on it. But right now I shouldn't be bothered so I shrug the thought away.

Later…

Now we're in the basement talking with Lysandre about Rosalya's plan. For some reason, Lysandre invited Armin to join and I don't know any reason why Armin seems to be interested in helping. But I guess it can't be help since he's also one of the few who believes my words although I admit that he's annoying at times but he has some good points, too.

It's already late in the afternoon and I'm sure that the students in the school will start to dispel and go to their houses or just walk around for a little bit. Normally at this rate of time, Castiel would be right here now at the basement, practicing his music with Lysandre but it seems that he won't show up today (not that he showed up for the whole week).

"Are you alright?"

I look to my side and see that Lysandre walking right beside me. I manage to smile and nod at him.

"I already told you that you have a nice smile but that kind of smile you're giving now seems to annoy me," he says. Then he flatly adds, "Quit faking it. I hate to see a fake smile from you when I know that something is bothering you."

My smile slowly fades away from my face at his words and I exhale exasperatedly. He always knows when I'm fine or not. It seems that he can feel everything that I can feel. It's as if I'm a glass that he can easily see through…but like glass, I also tend to break easily.

"What's wrong? You know that you can always tell me. I always have time to listen to you."

"I don't know what's wrong with me…" I slowly explain. "I know I should be happy that the end to this nightmare is now on the tip of my fingers but…some part of me is saying: What's the point? I'm already broken…how can one put all those shattered pieces together? If no one has put Humpty Dumpty back together, then—"

"Stop saying things like that," Lysandre cuts me off with a hard voice but it softens as he continues, "Please stop saying depressing things like that…" He suddenly gets in front of me and stand there, stopping me from my tracks. "I know you're hurt…but you should know," he then takes my hand carefully and gently lifts it up and puts it on his chest where I can feel his heart beating fast. "I'm also in pain."

I just stand there, stunned from his words. Pain? Why does he feel pain? Not knowing what to say, I remain silent and he takes it as a cue to go on.

"_, all this time I've been with you, spent my whole time with you…I don't know how to explain it but I feel happy but still hurt. I'm happy because you're with me but I'm also hurt when I see you sadly staring off the space and the pain only gets worse when I see you in tears. How can I possibly be completely happy when I know that you're hurt?"

"L-Lysandre…"

"How can I possibly not be in pain when I know that you…" he looks down and slightly glares at the ground. "That you still love him…"

I stifle a gasp as he says that. What am I suppose to say?!

My track of thoughts broke as he looks back to my eyes. It's as if my thoughts are now in a jumbled mess as I stare back at him.

"Tell me, do you still love him?"

My eyes widen. Do I still love Castiel? Do I still have feelings for him? I close my eyes, wanting to clear my thoughts. These days I've spent with Lysandre, I haven't thought of Castiel at all. It seems that I am forgetting him though the pain is still there but not as worse as before. I open my eyes only to be met by Lysandre's expecting one.

"I…I am now forgetting him…But the pain is still…"

"I love you, _"

My face furiously blush at the sudden confession. "EH?!"

"You heard me," he smiles gently and takes my hands which he's still holding to his cheek. "I love you and I always have. At first, back when we first met, I was just curious about you. Then I began to like you but I lost hope when you admitted to me you like my friend. But now is different. I've just realized my feelings for you back when you cried. That face…with those tears…I can't help but to be angry at Castiel."

"Lysandre…I…"

"If the pain he cause is still there…Let me help you heal it…I will make you forget all the pain…all this nightmare has brought you…I can't promise but I will make you happy."