Us, Servants to the Moon – Chapter 2

Author's Note: Hey, everyone, thanks for all your sweet comments on the first chapter! I'm so sorry it took me so long to finish the second one, but I've had so many ideas on the third and fourth chapter that I've actually already started writing them as well xD So I hope I'll be able to update sooner in the future :D Hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well!

The past week had been unusual sunny for this season. The leaves outside were already brown and golden, still the sun was shining as if it were still summer. It was such a waste to spend those beautiful days down in the school's basement, but Jeremy knew it couldn't be helped. They had found mildew in a few rooms, so most of the books stored there had to be moved somewhere else.

Jeremy was alone, arranging some of the newer books and putting them up on the shelves. There was only a small barren window letting a few faint sunbeams in and even though it was so warm outside, down here in the basement the air was rather cool. He could hear the voices and the cheerful laughter of the other students from outside. Classes were over for today and most of the students were enjoying one of the last warm and sunny days this year.

Jeremy would have enjoyed the sun, too, but since his teacher had asked her students to take shifts with the books, Jeremy decided it couldn't be helped. He preferred being by himself anyway. It gave him time to think and that was what he needed these days. Especially these days.

It had been one week now since he had kissed Tyler Lockwood, or rather had been kissed by, but no matter how much he tried to switch from active to passive voice and back again, it didn't change the sentence's message. It was a fact now, an unchangeable memory that would stay with him for as long as he'd live. It had lasted just a few seconds, and still, he had spent so many hours thinking about it since then. More than a week had passed and Jeremy was still at a loss for explanations.

He hadn't talked to Tyler ever since. They had been avoiding each other, but he knew they wouldn't be able to keep this up forever. Sooner or later, they would be facing each other and… what then?

A few kids from the lower grades were running past the window, screaming and giggling with joy.

Jeremy opened the next box filled with books for him to arrange on the shelves. Math and history. He needed to create more space for them.

There was a sound coming from the hallway and Jeremy noticed that it were footsteps. Someone was coming, probably another students supplying him with even more books. The footsteps were quite loud, a bit tramping and definitely self-confident. Jeremy immediately thought of one person who would probably walk that way, but it couldn't be. There were so many students at this school, so why of all people should it be…

But of course, just as Murphy's Law predicted, it was indeed Tyler.

"Chemistry, eighth grade, and biology, seventh grade," he stated as if he was giving an interview to the press. "Where do you want me to put these?"

"Uhm…" Jeremy stood up and looked around the room, acting as if Tyler was just some random student talking to him. "Just put them over there. I'll take a look at them later."

"Okay."

"Thanks." Jeremy decided to get back to his task, until he realized a few moments later that Tyler was still standing there and he was not about to leave. Jeremy turned his head towards him. "Something else?"

"Uhm." Tyler couldn't stop staring, no matter how hard he struggled to. He had spent the last days with his friends or helping his mother, even studying, just so he didn't have to think about that night, when all the things he had taken for granted, had suddenly started to waver. Now, for the first time since then, Tyler looked at Jeremy's face, at his eyes, his skin, his lips. He noticed he remembered every detail, every tiny flaw of the boy's skin, and the memory, that kept fading to blurred shadows, came to life again. He looked at Jeremy and now, he knew what it felt like to be close to him, to touch those lips and feel the warmth of his skin radiating against his own. No matter how hard he struggled, he couldn't stop staring.

Jeremy stood up. He started to wonder why Tyler was looking at him with that weird gaze in his eyes, but at the same time, it freaked him out. He needed to be alone, not just alone from Tyler but from everyone – especially Tyler. What he had felt that night had not been normal. It had been alien, unfamiliar… and still, pleasant. Tyler's presence made him remember, but for now he didn't want to. It would only make things worse. "You can go now," he said rather demanding than asking. "I think the football team's already started practice, so unless you wanna miss it..."

"Don't care," Tyler replied nonchalantly. "I won't be going to practice anymore. I'll be playing for the other team next year."

"Oh really?" Jeremy shifted from one foot to the other, his expression full of fake curiosity. "That's funny, because I thought you already were." The words came out more insulting than he had intended. All he wanted was for Tyler to leave, and so he had decided to push him away a bit, but right now, he realized that he had probably gone too far.

Tyler's expression became more serious as he started considering if Jeremy had really meant what Tyler thought he had. "Wait…"

"Whoa," Jeremy lifted his hands. "No offense."

"What is your problem, Gilbert?" Tyler came towards him. The dimly lit room made his eyes look even darker than they usually did.

Jeremy could feel himself switching from defensive to offensive. "Well, let me think of it. Right now, I guess my problem would be you."

Tyler didn't reply, instead he kept coming closer and suddenly he pushed Jeremy away.

Jeremy tumbled back for a second, then, however he turned around and pushed Tyler away himself. "No surprise Vicky was looking for other guys," he hissed, angered. "A guy like you obviously couldn't give it to her right."

Before Jeremy could do anything about it, Tyler grabbed his collar and threw him at the wall. "What was that?"

"You heard me, alright." Jeremy was staring back at him with defying eyes. For the first time since that night they were close again now. Jeremy could feel Tyler's unsteady breath against his face, and it made his memories of that night so much more vivid. There had been this feeling between them, an unfamiliar and at the same time intoxicating warmth… Now, they were just as close as back then, but this room was cold and dark, and the feeling between them right now was aggression, maybe even loathing. Still, looking at those eyes made Jeremy remember and that inner conflict hurt him so much. "So, what are you gonna do now, Lockwood, huh?" he started, almost mockingly, "kiss me again?"

Tyler stared back at him for a second. His heart was racing with anger and confusion. Even though that one word had crossed his mind so many times since that night, this was the first time someone actually said it and it was way worse hearing it than just thinking of it. Kiss. The worst thing, however, was, that he felt he actually wanted to. He was so close to Jeremy and he could feel the urge inside his heart to repeat the kiss from that night. Yet, at the same time, he could feel nothing but disdain for the boy in front of him. There had never been a boy in his life he had felt more anger towards, more aggression and more hatred. When he had been with Vicky, the mere sight of Jeremy Gilbert would make his skin crawl in rage. So how could they have come to this? What the hell was wrong with him?

They stared at each other like this for what seemed like minutes and somehow Tyler got the impression that Jeremy was fighting the same struggle inside him as he was himself. He felt that if he really tried to kiss Jeremy right now, the other boy wouldn't resist a second.

But then Tyler raised his fist instead and punched Jeremy in the face. "You're the one who started this," he threw after Jeremy, who was stumbling away from him. "I'm not like you, Gilbert. I'm not gay."

Jeremy turned around and Tyler could see that he was bleeding slightly from his nose. That look in his eyes, however, made him feel secure. It was that one look he knew so well, that look Jeremy had given him so many times when they had been just like this, fighting to the bitter end for Vicky Donovan's affection.

It was just too easy to remember those feelings of hate and animosity and it felt so much better then affection and confusion, because it made their world simple, familiar. So they both gave in.

"Like hell you are," Jeremy snapped back, wiping the blood away with the sleeve of his pullover. "You were the one who kissed me, not the other way around. I'm not gay, you are!" He clenched his fist and came towards Tyler, trying to hit the other boy back.

Tyler however got hold of Jeremy's wrist first, pushing him aside and kicking his legs. "I know I'm not gay," he snarled. "But what I felt from you, felt pretty gay. You had your hands all over my face! I'm sure everybody will be thrilled to know that Jeremy Gilbert is a sexually repressed fag."

The words hit Jeremy harder than any punch could ever do. Right now, however, he was too agitated to actually feel sad. "I will kill you, Lockwood," he threatened and there was an anger glowing in his eyes that told Tyler he actually meant what he said. Without warning, Jeremy threw himself against him, grabbing his collar and hitting him in the face several times.

Tyler pushed him back as soon as he got the chance to and was just about to go after him, when the door suddenly flung open and Mrs. Hayman, a seventh grade teacher, threw herself between them without hesitation.

"Have you lost your mind?" she yelled as she tried to separate the fighting boys. "Stop it!"

Tyler and Jeremy were both bleeding, still they kept glaring at each other as if they were ready to go at each other's throats anytime again.

Mrs. Hayman looked at them and sighed. "Gilbert and Lockwood, once again. Why am I not surprised?" She shook her head. "Is there a new girl around?"

Neither of them replied.

"I tell you, boys, this has to stop." She looked at each one of them intensely. "If I ever catch you again, I'll talk to the principle."

Tyler stared back at her, then he turned around and left the room without saying a word.

Tyler couldn't help feeling miserable when he cleaned his face over the sink. He looked up and saw his face reflected in the mirror, dripping wet and… miserable. That wasn't him, not really. He had been in a fight with Jeremy so many times that he had lost count of it, and even though this time had not been any different from all those times before, the mere thought of it made him want to cry. Why did he feel so bad about it? Why did it hurt so much being accused of being gay by Jeremy Gilbert, when he knew for a fact that he wasn't? He couldn't explain what had happened that night or why he would have ever felt the urge to kiss Jeremy Gilbert, of all people, but thinking of it all the time wouldn't help either. He needed to put this behind him, to finally forget about it.

He put his face under the tap again, water cooling down the bruises on his skin. It felt good. He knew that he would have to talk to Jeremy one last time to put this whole mess straight. It was the only way for him to finally move on.

It was evening when Jeremy left the school building. He thought of his sister Elena. She had been so pissed yesterday when he had returned home with all those bruises on his face. He hadn't known how to explain his fight with Tyler to her, because she knew everything about their quarrel over Vicky and she knew Vicky was gone. So he hadn't replied anything, watching her getting angrier and angrier. He wondered if she would have already calmed down by tonight, when suddenly a car stopped right in front of him.

The window on the passenger's side went down and Jeremy could see that it was Tyler sitting behind the steering wheel. "Want me to drive you home?"

Jeremy could guess what this was about. This would be the moment when they were supposed to clear the air and he had actually waited for it. He didn't want his life to continue like that and so he was glad that they finally got the chance to talk about it. "Okay," he said and got in the car.

It was an awkward situation, being trapped so close to each other inside the narrow car, but fortunately the radio was playing some music, so at least they didn't have to fight the silence.

"You know, Jeremy," Tyler finally started and to his surprise, it was easier than he had imagined. Even though he hadn't even said yet what he wanted to say, he felt a fair amount of relief, as if he was about to clear up a huge problem that had been bugging him for years. "About that night." He took a breath and threw a quick glance at Jeremy. "I wanna be honest with you."

The look on Jeremy's face didn't reveal anything about what he was feeling right now. "Okay?"

Tyler put his eyes back on the road. "Look, I have no idea how that happened, seriously. I've been thinking a lot about the reasons and honestly, man," he shook his head, "I'm not into guys. I'm not gay."

"Bisexual," Jeremy corrected.

"Ah… what?" Tyler was surprised. He had planned his speech so carefully and he hadn't expected Jeremy to interrupt him.

"Bisexual," Jeremy repeated. "Not gay."

"What are you talking about?"

"Bisexuality is when you're attracted to both men and women."

"Yeah, thanks, I know what bisexuality is, Gilbert," Tyler snarled. "I am not bisexual or gay or anything else, okay? I've never had a fantasy about a dude or something. So I guess…" Suddenly, he paused, throwing an inquiring glance at Jeremy. "Wait, so you are…"

"No!" Jeremy stated, harsher than he had intended to and he feared it might have sounded as if he was trying to deny a fact that was obviously true. It wasn't. So he added with an absurd chuckle, "no, of course I'm not."

"Well, if you say so," Tyler said after a short while. "Anyway, I'm sorry for what happened. I guess it was just the alcohol."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, too, if I gave you the wrong impression."

The car turned around the corner and Jeremy could see their house coming into sight. The streets were almost empty. Most of the neighbors were probably still at work.

"Alright," Jeremy said, trying to initiate the farewell.

"Yeah," Tyler nodded, stopping the car in front of Jenna's house. "I'm glad we were able to sort this thing out."

"Yeah, me too." Jeremy tried to fake an insecure smile. "So, thanks for driving me home."

"Sure." The look in Tyler's eyes was telling Jeremy that he couldn't wait to get him out of his car. "Anytime."

So Jeremy got out, bowing down to wave at Tyler before slamming the door shut. He knew that anytime meant never again and it took him a second to realize that this was the end of this short, unlikely, confusing, yet at the same time touching relationship that could have turned into a precious friendship. Still, it had been prevented by something they couldn't explain, something that scared them both equally, even if they would have never admitted it. It didn't matter anymore right now, Jeremy knew. They wouldn't talk to each other ever again, going on with their lives as if nothing had ever happened. He was sure of it.

Right now, however, Jeremy couldn't have known yet that this had, in fact, just been the beginning.

To be continued…