A/N: Hello again! I am really hyper right now because I started writing this chapter on the first day of my Spring Break. Plus both of the white boards in the band room at my school are full of Disney characters. I will post pictures on my profile. Did I mention I leave for Disney World in 3 days yeah, but any way onto chapter 2?

Disclaimer: I own a ceramic tiger. I do not own Degrassi.

Breathe Chapter 2

Clare's POV

(Flashback)

Today was the beginning of a new school year. I saw Eli pulled up in Morty in front of my house. I ran outside and smiled as I got in. I leaned over and gave Eli a kiss. He gave me a quick half smile; he wasn't in the best of moods this morning. Did he remember to take his pill? I hope so we don't need another incident like a few weeks ago. Days like these took its toll on both of us. When he is having a day like this caused from his Bi-polar disorder he has a hard time concentrating and then he ends up going manic. I am the one who has to calm him down but even that can be dangerous. It happened over the summer; we agreed never to speak of that day ever again. Eli was so mad at himself for what he did to me but I told him to just stay calm and that I was alright. We arrived at good old Degrassi when Eli pulled his medicine out of his back pack and took the pill real fast before I got out of Morty and walked around and opened Eli's door.

"Come on the bell is going to ring soon. Don't you want to see if we are in the same English class again?" I said as I dragged Eli out of the hearse. It was a pretty funny site actually. Eli locked the door behind him. I looked at his blue senior shirt and then I looked at my red junior shirt. It was so hard to imagine how next school year I won't have Eli with me to help me survive Degrassi.

"It wasn't a good morning at home." He mumbled. He knew I hated it when he mumbled but I let it go this one time.

"Tell me what happened Eli. Please I can help you. "I said stopping both of us in our tracks. That was one of Eli's pet peeves. He hated it when someone stopped right in front of him when he was walking.

"I will tell you Clare, but please don't tell anyone else. Yesterday we got a letter in the mail, it was to me, but my parents opened it first. It was a letter from a lawyer. Why would a lawyer send a letter to me? Well as it turns out after all of these years Julia's parents want to take me to court for the murder of their daughter. They are trying to say I killed Julia. I mean I believed I did at first but that was until you showed me that it wasn't my fault. Clare, can you do one thing for me about this whole court date, will you go with me and support me? I am afraid that I might go manic on them while I am there or I might get in one of my moods." He explained to me.

"Of course Eli, but please tell me that this is one big old prank someone is playing. They can't do this to you. This isn't fair, Eli I'm so sorry." I said wrapping him in a hug,

"Come on I don't want you to be late for class." He said grabbing my hand. I could that he thought he made me sad by telling me about the letter. He was feeling bad for it, I wish I could tell him not to worry about me but that will never happen.

Fiona and Adam met up with us and we walked to their homerooms. Eli walked me to mine last even though we passed his homeroom about 3 times already. He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before he walked to his class. I walked into and saw Alli sitting at desk. She saw me and ran over and gave me a hug. Our teacher passed out our schedules and then the bell rang. I saw my class was in the computer lab. As looked at my schedule I accidently ran into someone. They grabbed me around the waist so I wouldn't fall. I looked up to see it was Eli who I had run into. He was laughing as he snatched my schedule out of my head.

"You should really look where you are going." He smiled while reading the piece of paper.

"Maybe you shouldn't try so hard to stalk me down in the hall ways and run into me." I laughed.

He just smiled back and showed me that we had five classes together. First period we both had class in the computer lab, third we both had English, fourth we both had a free period, we had lunch together, and then we had gym together seventh period. We walked to the computer lab and got put in our assigned seats. Eli and I sat by each other but of course Fitz just had to sit across from us. When he looked over to see who he was sitting by he just laughed. The morning announcements came on and then Mr. Simpson took attendance. What a great way to kick off the school year.

(Present Day)

I sat in my car in the student parking lot just staring at the school. 7:15 the time that Eli would usually knock on my window and tell me "it's time for school blue eyes". Not today, today I have an odd looking, non-make up wearing, Alli standing at my window. I looked in my mirror and looked at myself, only it didn't feel like I was looking at myself. I was looking at a girl who had bags under her eyes, a girl who has been crying way too much, a girl with grayish pale skin, and a girl whose once stunning blue eyes now looked gray. Gray eyes that looked like they had the life sucked from them. I got out of my car and Alli wrapped me in a tight hug. She let go and pressed a piece of paper in my hand. I didn't want to read it right away so I put it in my pocket. We walked up the stairs and Alli opened the door for us. They changed it so that our first period was also homeroom. Some people stared at me others just kept walking. (Alli was also in the computer lab with me first period.) We walked into class and Alli sat down next to me in Eli's seat. It hurt to realize that all of this could have been stopped if Eli and I would have asked to get our seats changed. Eli kept telling me that if we moved our seats Fitz would see how weak we are, and being weak was not an option to Eli.

"Good morning Degrassi students, today is a new day. There are no announcements today but we would like to have a moment of silence for Eli Goldsworthy." Katie Matlin started, after a minute she continued.

"As many of you may know Eli Goldsworthy was murdered 2 weeks ago. Grief consolers are still available in the office for anyone who needs someone to talk to. Have a good day." She finished.

"I bet the murder is just a cover up." I heard someone whisper.

"I bet he committed suicide that kid was obsessed with death." Another student whispered back.

"I wonder if Clare helped him." Someone else laughed.

How could they think about this stuff? I felt all eyes on me. My own eyes started to fill with tears. I got up and ran out of class. I knew it was a mistake coming back to school. Mom did say Cyber School was an option. I ran to the bathroom and made sure no one was in there. Once I was in the clear I collapsed on the floor balling my eyes out. I heard the door open and faint steps and sniffles. The next thing I knew Alli was on the floor next to me hugging me.

"Clare I'm so sorry for what those other students said to you." She said.

"They knew I was there why would they say that stuff?" I asked.

"Because they are jerks Clare, or even better they are bitches." She said.

"Do you think I should just suck it up and go talk to the counselors in the office?" I questioned.

"Yes and I will come with you but first look at that paper I gave you." She said.

I grabbed the paper out of my pocket and unfolded it. I knew Eli's writing when I saw it. Why would Alli have a note from Eli? I started to read it to see what it was all about.

"Clare,

So as we both know a very important day is coming up for us. Okay let me just tell it will be our two anniversary soon. I have a very special surprise for you. Actually it is sitting in front of me as I write this. Show this note to my parents when you come over for dinner they will know what to do.

Love forever,

Eli."

Out two year anniversary was only a few weeks away. What did he want to give me? Should I still go over? Will I even be ready to walk back inside that house? I looked up at Alli who was standing up. She put her hand out and helped me up.

"How did you get this?" I asked.

"Eli gave me this a week before his death. He told me he trusted me and he knew I would give it to you. I thought maybe you might like to have it now." She said.

"Do you think I should still go over to his house?" I questioned.

"Only if you think you are ready." She responded.

"Well I guess the only way to get better is to talk to someone." I said.

I looked over at Alli and we walked out of the bathroom. She walked me to the office and I waited until one of the grief counselors called me in. "Remember Clare this is the first step to recovery." Eli's voice echoed through my head from the time I went to his counselors with him. I wonder if my session will be like his.

Hmmmm I wonder what happened at his counselor's office? Oh wait you will get to find out in the next chapter (insert evil laugh) any who R&R please!