"I have never seen so many people wearing hats in once place."
Beanies, hoodies, caps. Hair hidden, forgotten. Opposite you, your fellow glee club member is wearing a ratty beanie you think you remember from the Skank! days.
The facilitator smiles uncomfortably.
That's your only comment for the afternoon.
You feel familiar eyes on you.
As you leave, they come up to you.
"We should carpool."
You pause briefly, considering.
"Save the petrol. Company."
"Okay-"you interrupt. "Keep your shirt on. We'll carpool. I'll pick you up at 11"
You are determined to remain detached. It means nothing, that once you called yourself Saul for an entire day and forced seven year old Rachel Berry to call you 'sir'. It means nothing that now, ten years later, you sit in a Trans* support group once fortnight and listen to boys that look like girls and girls that look like boys talk about their feelings.
So you turn your back on your friend and walk away, hop in your car and drive home. You pull over,( a familiar routine after only a month) into a stand of trees and take off your collared shirt, your jeans, your smallest and tightest sports bra. The clothes you slip into are less constricting physically, but as you slip that WMHS top over your head, as you slide into your Cheerios skirt you feel squeezed tighter than before.
There is a party at Puck's tonight. You will go. You will dance, you will drink, hopefully, you will take Brittany home.
Your fellow chameleon approaches you during the party. You are sitting alone, sipping a rum and coke. Brittany is dancing with Puck and your eyes follow your girlfriend proprietorially.
"Have you told Brittany yet?"
You're drunk, but not quite to your normal bipolar state (yet) so you reply calmly enough.
"Told Brittany what?"
"I think…it would be okay. You know Brittany loves you."
You shake your head, not disagreeing with the statement, just amused.
"What about you?" you ask.
"What about me?"
"Who do you need to tell? Who loves the Head Cheerio now?"
You hit a nerve, obviously, because suddenly you are alone again and so you go back to watching Brittany dance.