Hey again it's Bah Bah! This time I have done another country that deserves at least a bit of ridicule. Australia is the next to be introduced. By the way these mini self-told biographies are told so that they set the stage for when I actually have country and country dialogue similar to the end of my first chapter between Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan. Again I you are offended by my portrayal of your country I apologize. However this is a satirical work and should be taken with a grain of salt and it is not (usually) my actual point of view.
G'day mates! I'm Australia. It's nice to meet all you blokes. I am a pretty big country and I am also my own continent! How great is that? You probably already know where I am because who hasn't heard of the mystical Land Down Under. When I was just starting out as a wee little nipper, I was a British penal colony. No, that does not mean that I dealt with copious amounts of penis but that is where England dumped all his unwanted convicts onto me which is not really much better than dealing with danglies. We do all kind of different things down here like kill each other under the pretense of playing football and playing soccer fairly badly for a team that is always in the World Cup. So you can probably tell that I am uncoordinated. One of the kind things going for us is that we are the only country in the world to have kangaroos! It is kind of symbol as a nation. America takes it a bit too far and refers to us Aussies as Kangaroos. It hurts my feelings but as long as America doesn't hate it is all worth it in the end. Especially since we have been such good friends recently regarding our foreign policy and military cooperation. I have been trying to reach out to a whole slew of dirty Asian countries and some neighbors in the Pacific. Things have been rather rocky in recent years wondering why Oz would want to associate with them. It is really the case with China as most of the people don't even really know what our stance is towards them. As a matter of fact we have been trudging along with no agenda in particular regarding the Asian matters of gaining security which I have to admit is stupid but my boss Mr. Canberra decided it might be best to put off the issue of security which really confuses me but he knows best and I will trust his better judgement. People always think of me as a whacka who hangs out in the Never Never having a naughty with kangaroos. To be honest with that is truly disgusting. Who does that with a kangaroo? And the Outback isn't the only place in Australia. We have a lot of culture here like that opera house thing that I can't remember the name for. Usually because I spend too much time pervin' on kangaroos in the Outback and can never really remember the name. It's only those banana benders that have any culture. Not really my cup of tea eh.
Hey you dills it Australia. You should review otherwise I will take your pets and feed them to my kangaroos for pleasure. I use a lot of strine as you can tell and I will translate a bit for you. I'll leave out the obvious like g'day and blokes
Nipper n. : Child
Oz: Australia
Whacka: idiot
Never Never: the outback
Have a naughty: have sex
Banana benders: a person from Queensland
By the way do some research and feel free to torch the author.