Quinn was awoken by two different sets of light snores, and sighed happily with the knowledge that at least her girls felt safe enough to rest. Beth had been soothed by listening to the vibrations in her chest as she hummed to the beat of her heart, her baby's pacifier doing its job to lull her to sleep. Rachel was generally harder to calm, since the girl was practically always worried about Quinn, about Beth, and their friends, and her Dads, and Shelby. Rachel never mentioned it but Quinn knew Rachel also lamented her future which simply added to her seemingly perpetual melancholy. The girl was just naturally organized and in control, and the situation they had been thrust into simply ripped all of her plans and ideas from underneath her, leaving her lost. Quinn worried about Rachel as well, but they just didn't have time to worry. As long as Rachel was safe, everything else could wait.
Quinn glanced over to Santana and noticed her sprawled across Jesse. The Rav-4 was a small, maybe if you squint mid-sized SUV at best, and they had let down the back seats and crammed into the cargo space for comfort. But even with extra room Quinn wouldn't doubt that Santana would find her way over to Jesse. They had the oddest friendship she'd ever witnessed. They started out insulting each other but over time the insults became more affectionate and borderline flirtatious. Quinn wouldn't touch that thought with a 99.5 foot pole. She was grateful that Jesse was able to distract Santana. They had built somewhat of a buddy system. There were six of them, plus Beth, and Quinn had fallen into leadership, naturally. Quinn had thought Jesse would step up—him being the eldest of the group—but he seemed comfortable letting her make the important decisions and taking orders.
Santana had always been Quinn's second-in-command, and she seemed to comfortably fall back into position when Quinn proved herself able to protect them. Santana had also fallen back into seeking comfort in Quinn, a habit that hadn't died out with their authoritative relationship sophomore year. The situation had brought back Santana's co-dependent tendencies, which Quinn worried would cause problems between her current girlfriend and her best friend. She couldn't very well reject Santana—she knew she was just afraid—but she wasn't sure how to handle her. She would always love her, even though they didn't last romantically—they fought constantly and were both too passionate and emotionally stunted to work it out at the time—and she would always look out for her. But Jesse was absorbing some of that co-dependency and constant need for affection, and for that Quinn was immensely grateful.
Quinn was also super grateful for Mike. They'd been traveling for almost three weeks now, simply trying to avoid areas with large populations—that's where the crazies were—and Mike's knowledge of nature was proving to be a life saver. They spent most of their time on various camp grounds, and had acquired some outdoors equipment like fishing rods, crossbows, cooking equipment and an impressive first aid kit. Mike was a natural outdoors-man, and his intelligence made him a fast learner and able to adapt to their situation and advise Quinn when necessary. At first, she'd felt guilty about being grateful he'd been stuck with them while she was sure he wished to be with Tina and his family—she had been the main reason for his visit to Lima—but she knew they wouldn't be able to survive without him. He fed them with his fishing and hunting skills, even providing wild salads for Rachel when possible, and he was invaluable to their team. With Sam as his partner, Quinn wasn't worried when they left her sight, she knew they'd take care of each other.
Sam had managed to read all of "The Walking Dead" comics and was the first of them to acknowledge that the crazies behaved suspiciously like zombies. Quinn couldn't claim that she hadn't thought the same. When she and Sam were still dating, they watched the show together. At first she wasn't very interested in it, but she just could not ignore how awful a mother Lori was and found herself wishing Carl would just stay in the goddamn house for once. Their situation strongly resembled the one depicted on the show, although they'd luckily managed to avoid any large hordes. Staying away from the bigger cities had actually been Sam's call. Quinn couldn't believe that Sam's love of comic books may have actually saved their lives. Her first thought would have been to head into towns to find help, which she supposes in hindsight would have actually lead them to danger. So yeah, thank God for Sam.
Quinn's back was aching to be stretched, but her girls were still using her as a mattress. It was early morning and they'd need to get up soon. Santana and Jesse needed to get a load of laundry done, while Sam and Mike procured food for the day for Quinn and Rachel to prepare while keeping an eye on Beth. She was relatively calm for a two year old—she liked to hear Rachel sing and Quinn gave her as much attention as possible, and she was able to communicate relatively well for a baby with minimal crying to get her wishes met. She'd thrown tantrums like any other baby of course, but was easily soothed with a song and her pacifier. It was almost as if she could sense that Quinn and Rachel were doing their best, and in turn kept her demands reasonable. They'd managed to pick up essentials for her such as pull ups, toys, and a ridiculously large supply of powdered formula which was stocked in Jesse's cargo hold. They'd raid for it whenever they crossed a small town. Quinn was afraid that Beth wouldn't get enough nutrients from the solids she could eat, and they'd stocked up on pureed fruits and veggies to aid her formula. Jesse's truck was basically acting as their supply vehicle, while the Rav-4 held their duffel bags of personal belongings they'd managed to bring along.
It somewhat felt like an extended camping trip, if not for the fact that they all carried hand guns and were constantly on alert. So far they'd had their ears trained on the solar powered emergency radio for any news on the state of society, but it got increasingly bleak so they used it mostly for entertainment—at low volumes—which does wonders for their moods. It acted as speakers for Jesse's mp3 player, which he fortunately kept in his glove compartment. Rachel had grabbed it on a supply run into an outdoor sporting goods store, along with a few low wattage solar generators and lanterns. Quinn wasn't even aware this technology existed, and Rachel beamed at the recognition that she'd had an idea that was beneficial to the group. She'd been feeling like a burden lately with the depression she was suffering, and was trying to improve even though Quinn and the others had been loving and understanding. She focused most of her attention on Quinn and Beth, and tried not to make a bad situation worse by being dead weight. She'd become good at foraging for edible vegetation with Mike, and even assisted Quinn in preparing meat for the others to eat. She even helped Quinn manage their supplies and create time tables for their supply runs, and she felt good that she had a place in the team that wasn't just "Quinn's girlfriend".
Quinn felt when Rachel's hand shifted under her shirt to feel her warm skin. She wondered what they would do when the colder months started rolling in, and made a mental note to add space blankets to their next run. She turned her head and was immediately met with cautious brown eyes and a tentative smile. Beth stirred slightly, causing Rachel to quietly coo at her. Quinn smiled, conflicted at the circumstances that brought the baby girl back to her, but thoroughly delighted by her girlfriend's interaction with her.
"Good morning baby," she whispered to Rachel.
"Good morning," Rachel responded quietly. She then noticed their cramped position and gasped, "Oh my goodness Quinn, that cant be comfortable for your back.."
Quinn fought the urge to roll her eyes at Rachel. She and Beth had been sleeping on Quinn every night since they got to Shelby's. "It's fine Rachel, I'll get some light yoga in before we shower and it'll be okay."
That's another thing they'd fallen into out of necessity but Quinn couldn't pretend not to enjoy. They did everything together now, each duo relied on each other as an extra set of eyes. Even Jesse and Santana had gotten accustomed to showering and bathroom breaks together. The camp ground facilities usually offered a modicum of privacy through stalls and curtains, but no one was to be unaccompanied at any time.
"Okay," Rachel smiled, "but at least let me give you a back rub after breakfast. Other than laundry we are quite caught up on chores, so we may be able to relax and enjoy today for the most part. You might even have a chance to take Beth down to the lake and let her play in the water a bit"
"That sounds great." Quinn smiled before placing a soft kiss on Rachel's lips. Rachel sighed before checking outside the windows, cocking her handgun and checking the rounds, and stepping out of the SUV through the cargo door. Quinn could see her clearly through the window, and Rachel knew not to go to far without her, but she still felt uncomfortable with the distance so she curled up a blanket for Beth to lay on and followed her outside.
After making sure the area was secure, they started setting up for breakfast preparation. The solar generator made it possible for food to be cooked on a portable stove-top and filtered water bottles and a hot water pot made it possible for them to have clean water to cook with. They woke the boys and Santana before heading down the path to the lake to get water they needed to prepare oatmeal. Their breakfasts usually consisted of various cereals, granola bars, coffee and occasionally dried fruits. Fresh fruit was hard to come by since most of the stores they raided were small and abandoned. Some stores had a few left overs that were edible, but they knew that wouldn't last for long and canned goods would be the best they could do in that department. Rachel also thought it wise for everyone to start a vitamin regimen.
"Breakfast ready yet Q? I'm starving and mini Q here would like some grub as well" said Santana, appearing with a yawning Beth on her hip.
"Yeah, we got oatmeal and some dried strawberries you can put in it. And I'll get some coffee going in a moment. Sit." Quinn replied.
"Good girl" Jesse snarked as Santana obeyed and sat at the picnic table. She stuck out her foot and the girls—including Beth—giggled at his almost face-plant. He took a seat next to Santana— leaving almost no space between them—and Quinn an eyebrow at their interaction before turning her attention to Rachel, as she handed Quinn the prepared bowls.
"Hey guys," Sam and Mike strolled over to join the group. They all ate together every morning, afternoon, and evening. It was comforting and gave them security as a makeshift family, and Quinn used breakfast time to talk about plans and issues concerning the group. Quinn set their bowls in front of them along with two mugs of coffee, as Rachel followed with three bowls, two coffees, and a bottle of formula.
"So listen up, its nice out for an October day, so Rachel and I figured that we could all join Mike and Sam at the lake and introduce Beth to a little swimming. You guys can fish, and Rachel and I will help Jesse and Santana with the laundry while Beth splashes around a bit. It'll give her a chance to relax and be a normal baby for a while" Quinn said, leaning over to plant a kiss on Beth's head. Beth squealed at the attention.
"Excellent," Jesse replied. "I absolutely hate doing the laundry so if you're offering to assist I surely won't turn you down."
Quinn did roll her eyes at that with a small smile in the boy's direction before Beth commanded the attention of the group by smashing her hand in her oatmeal in her approval. The group laughed at her antics and Rachel grabbed a towel to wipe off her hands with.
"Okay well, Beth clearly agrees with this plan so lets get this stuff put away and we can head down to the water." Quinn stated. Sam and Mike grabbed the rods while Rachel and Quinn grabbed the tub of dishes, and Santana and Jesse carried the laundry load, and they all headed down the path with an excited Beth.
— AiZ—
The lake was calm and the water was warm, Mike and Sam were out up to their chests with their rods against the current fishing. Quinn figured it might be a good investment for them to find a canoe for fishing, since the guys were limited in what they could catch that way. The list of things that they needed was steadily growing each day, and Quinn knew that they'd have to make yet another dangerous trip into town soon. She looked down at Rachel who was sitting in shallow water beside her with Beth standing in her lap, splashing the warm water around her. Quinn smiled and took another survey of their surroundings, and wished that it wasn't a necessary habit.
"Jesse, what the fuck?" Santana hissed. Jesse's snickering was heard soon after. Quinn and Rachel looked into their direction and witnessed Santana throwing a pair of boxer briefs at Jesse's face. "You disgusting pig!"
"Santana, how do you even know they're mine? Quite frankly I'm offended by the accusation." Jesse smirked, he narrowly missed being punched.
"Because only douchebags wear $80 briefs, and only a douchebag like you would find the time these days to jizz in them" Santana agitatedly stated. Jesse only snorted.
"I know for a fact that you, Ms. Lopez, are wearing the latest from Victoria Secret's fall line this very moment. So if I'm a douchebag, what does that make—"
He didn't finish the comment before Santana tackled him into the water. Quinn's eyes widened at the exchange, as did Rachel's and even Beth's, but the baby recovered quickly and giggled cutely at the entertaining pair.
Soon it was time for lunch, and the group headed back to their small base. Mike and Sam had made a small catch before Santana and Jesse disturbed the fish, so it looked like fish and rice for dinner. Beth was all played out, tiredly resting her head on Rachel's shoulder as they made their way back. The baby had a wonderful time in the water, and Quinn and Rachel and the rest of the group delighted in watching her enjoy herself.
"She's so wonderful Quinn" Rachel whispered. Quinn shot her an easy smile and tightened her grip on their dish box. It was rattling the contents and she feared the noise would stir the sleeping baby.
"I just wish she didn't have to live like this" She sighed. If there was one thing she always wanted to give Beth, it was a chance at a good life. This certainly wasn't what she wanted for her daughter. This was a never-ending nightmare that she couldn't have even imagined her daughter would face.
"I know Quinn. I think... given the circumstances, she's still a happy baby. You've given her security and love." Rachel replied.
"She deserves better," Quinn argued. "You both do."
When they reached their camp everyone set about their chores for the afternoon. Rachel placed Beth in the Rav-4 for her afternoon nap, while Quinn set to cleaning the fish for dinner. Mike and Sam took a small break and played cards and listened to some music, while keeping open eyes around their camp. Rachel once again went over inventory and updated their list with things Quinn told her they needed and things they were running low on. She was lounging in the cargo bay of the Rav-4 beside Beth with the hatch up, her feet swinging back and forth as she hunched over the notebooks. Santana and Jesse were hanging laundry to dry on a clothes line they fashioned between two trees.
"This is so strange." Mike commented, "I mean, I'm caught between feeling like this is a lazy day and I can relax, and knowing that I can't really let my guard down. Its like we've built a false sense of security here, because—and let's face it—we've been relatively lucky up here. We left Lima before it got really bad. But we've sort of isolated ourselves and its like.. we're in the dark out here. No one sees us but we cant see them either."
The group quieted and reflected on his words.
"What are you saying Mike?" Quinn asked.
"Its just, I don't know. How long can we stay here? I wouldn't suggest we leave because we are... as safe as we can be, but.. we don't know what's going on out there Quinn. We need to know." He finished.
"I agree," Rachel added. "We are technically in the dark so we don't know if the situation has improved or gotten worse."
Quinn could hear what they weren't saying, and so could the rest of the group. They wanted to know if things were getting better. If it was safe to go home to their families. When they'd left Lima, they'd been all each other had and while they were grateful for each other, they obviously wondered about their families. Quinn knew they did. She wanted to as well, but couldn't bring herself to. She was focused on the now, what they were faced with at the moment. But now that this was brought up, she allowed herself to think of home.
She even thought of Russel. God, wouldn't she feel so much safer if her Daddy were with them. He'd know exactly what to do, and he'd be so confident in his decisions that Quinn would have no choice but to trust he'd keep them safe. She'd get a ton more sleep knowing he was watching over her. But he wasn't here. In fact, he hadn't been there since she was 16. That didn't mean she didn't miss him sometimes though.
"Okay. Okay I get it. What do we do then, hmm?" Quinn started. "I can't chance it with Beth. I need to know that she's safe at all times, and I cant guarantee that walking into an unknown. So what? Do you guys want to send a team into town to see what's happening or..? Because I honestly think that if there were any changes we'd hear about'em on this goddamn radio we've been using for everything else but what we should." She felt herself getting worked up and looked to the sky to calm her nerves. "I'm sorry. I don't think its a good idea. I... we all have people out there we love and miss. I get it. Trust me.. I.. I get it. But I can't, we cant risk it unless its absolutely necessary. We have a supply run coming up next week; okay? We can pick a slightly larger town to investigate. But we can't... Lima isn't an option, okay?"
Quinn lowered her head because she couldn't bare the disappointment she was sure would be in their faces. She'd essentially told them to forget about their families for a little while longer. She stared down into her plate, waiting for an objection, when none came.
"I agree bro," Sam said quietly. "I.. I miss my family and my girl too," at this Mike turned his head contritely, "but we just don't know where they are or how to find them. Its not safe to search at this point."
Mike let out a shaky breath, then turned a smile smile towards the group. "O-okay. You're right, I.. I don't know what I was thinking..."
"No, we get it." Jesse added. "You know, I've never been particularly close with my parents. All they required was that I be great enough in the arts for them to brag to their cultured friends about. But I still miss them and wish I could contact them. I sometimes stare at my Blackberry as if I could make service bars appear by sheer power of will. So far I've been unsuccessful."
The group chuckled at Jesse's dramatics. They finished dinner and spent the rest of the evening around the radio with a deck of cards. By nightfall, the guys had relocated to the Range Rover so they could sleep more comfortably while the girls retired to the Rav-4 with Beth. They curled up in the cargo bay on top of blankets, and Quinn was in her usual position as pillow, with Santana on her left, Rachel on her right, and Beth snuggled up on her chest as she hummed her to sleep.
She spent most of the night wondering about Judy and Shelby... and Russel.
A/N: I wanted to have this whole thing up by Sunday but I ran into formatting issues. I wrote this whole thing on my Kindle in Office Pro, and for some reason you can't upload docs from a Kindle to ff dot net. Soo, I had to move it to my laptop which unfortunately doesn't have Office at all. So please be patient with me, the fic is done and I'm already working on the sequel, titled Alice Practice.
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