Very Gay
Lawlz… I gots one review (and I'm proud of it) even if it's only one review. Thanks uguisumode! Btw, this WHOLE chapter was REALLY gross for me to write, though it's worth it for the laugh! (Thanks to Solid Snake's Aurora, for the amazing facts about the Ike x Pit pairing!)
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"Ike… it's been too long" Pit said, staring into the mans' mysterious, blue eyes. He looked at him in wide eyes, as though he was the only one for him.
"Pit… I… I love you." Ike replied to the smaller boy, with some difficulty speaking, as being nervous and all.
Both slowly closed their eyes, and their faces were getting closer. It was simply… romantic. Like the perfect dream for a yaoi fan girl. Their lips were about to touch, into a passionate kiss, until…
"CUT!" shouted the director, through a loud speaker phone. "Good job guys. Here's your check for the day!"
"SHIT… I can't believe I had to have taken this job…" complained the oh-so cool, and depressed Ike.
"Well, I might not be gay or anything like Captain Falcon *long pause*, though this sure brings in the money! Fan girls today loooove our pairing!" commented the winged angel, being very cheerful at the same time.
"Well… I suppose. But I want more money than 150 coins!" Ike complained, yet again.
The two walked along Hugabawagablagadingdongjimabobyhinkydinky street, while trying to find out the other Smashers' jobs were.
While they were walking, Pit looked into a window of a bakery, whose sign read "Café Delights". As anyone would suspect, Pit wasn't surprised to see Kirby in the building filled with mountains of sweets.
"Wow. I can't believe he hasn't gotten fired yet…" thought Pit to himself.
He walked casually inside, only to be shocked by how soundproof the window he looked into was.
"KIRBY STOP ****ING EATING EVERYTHING!" the store owner shouted in the backroom.
"Sorry! It's just that… They're so sweet! You an "AMAZING" baker!" praised the little puffball, while looking so adorably cute, that the owner changed his mood, and suddenly began to smile back to the little cute creampuff.
"Aww… it's ok! You just have a million more cakes while I bake some up more! Business hasn't ever been booming since you, the totally dazzling, cute, awesome, superespialelousious, Kirby came along!" shouted the Baker with glee. The Baker ran to the backroom once again, to bake many sweets happily for his next, employee of the month. Pit watched all of this, having a puzzled expression on his face.
"Um… K-Kirby? Uhh… hey. Um… why did he say his business was booming?" asked Pit, being confused and all. (Since the store's profits SHOULD be down, because Kirby ate so many cakes without paying.)
"Oh. Well, it's just that my cuteness made everyone come to Café Delights! I'm so irresistible, aren't I?" asked Kirby, hoping to get a compliment from the boy that stood in front of him, with a HUGE emphasis on the word, cuteness.
"Man… Kirby has such a large ego…" thought Pit, while looking at the dazzling, cute, awesome, superespialelousious... *DAN DAN DAN DAN!!!* KIRBY!
After a few minutes of looking "adorably cute", Kirby got his check of 200 coins, left the store, and went with Pit and Ike to see what the other Smashers' jobs were.
"Hey... how does that stupid circle get more money than me--" Ike said, while being interrupted by a falling minivan hitting him.
"I wonder if Diddy Kong is working in a banana sundae store right now…?" wondered Kirby.
"Yeah. That'd be funny." commented Pit. "What about Wario?"
Kirby suddenly shuddered at the thought of the gross fat man's job would be, with his whole spine tingling (if he has one).
"Probably scooping up elephant poop." suggested Kirby. There was a moment of silence, then both of them suddenly burst out laughing, holding their stomachs (Though Kirby doesn't have one, since he's only a head.), except for the blue swordsman.
"Well, it's much better than what I have… I'm GAY in my job!" replied the annoyed and ever so "cool", Ike, still rubbing his sore head from a minivan accident.
Pit suddenly looked hurt at his comment. Why did Ike have to be so mean to him all the time? "He doesn't like me?" he thought to himself, repeatedly, feeling lots of guilt in his heart.
"Well, at least you aren't as gay as Captain Falcon." remarked the pink sphere, unaware of how sad Pit was.
"He. That's certainly true. Um… Hey dude, you all right there?" asked Ike, looking at Pit, worryingly, still rubbing his head (for 10 minutes now).
"Yeah… sure… I guess." said the little depressed kid, while his head was looking down at his feet. Ike stopped talking, as well as Kirby. They knew Pit didn't want to be spoken to at this moment.
All three of them walked silently down the street, until Kirby stopped and looked into another store's window.
"Well, lookie here!" he giggled, in a girlie-like voice.
"OH MY GAWD…" shouted Ike and Pit at the same time. There, inside the store, was Captain Falcon, in a beauty salon, working.
The three people (well, two being people, one being an adorable little circle,) quickly ran inside, and shouted/ yelled at Captain Falcon, *coughs* who is gay *coughs*
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU WORKING AT???"
Captain Falcon stopped brushing a customer's hair, to turn and face the shocked Brawlers.
"Oh, hey y'all. Whatcha doin'? Y'all want a makeover or sumthin'?" asked Captain Falcon, in the gayest voice you will ever hear, in your entire life!
Tired of everything that happened in his crappy day; Ike gave the gay Captain Falcon the scariest look you will ever get from someone. He was so enraged by everyone and everything, that he took all his anger out on the gay Captain Falcon. I mean, who wouldn't? He is gay in his job, he has Pit as his partner, he only got 150 coins, Kirby got a bigger check than him for doing absolutely nothing, then he got hit by a falling minivan, and now Captain Falcon is gay!?!
"NO. You listen to me NOW! Quit this shitty job, and work someplace ELSE! If you work here a SECOND longer, I'll be so embarrassed as a Smasher, that I'll PUNCH you where a guy hurts!" threatened Ike, in a scary voice, staring down the gay Captain Falcon.
Captain Falcon giggled at Ike's ignorance. "Well gosh y'all! You meanie Ike! You're sooo HAWT when you're mad! I won't be quittin' for nothin'!" replied the gay Captain Falcon, in a very preppy voice, smiling like mad.
By then, Kirby and Pit's eyes were twitching, from shock, that Captain Falcon was so gay.
Not hearing another word from the gay dude (Haha I didn't say Captain Falcon!), he charged into the gayest man in the world, and instead of punching, he kicked him where a man would hurt.
"Oh Ike!" Captain Falcon said, while giggling like a girl. "It doesn't hurt at all, since I don't have any ballz!"
Right after he said those words, Kirby was beginning to feel dizzy, tumbled all over the place, and then passed out, from shock.
"Kirby! NOOOOOOO…!!!" cried Pit, being as dramatic as he was while acting with Ike. The angel sat beside the unconscious, though still adorable, Kirby.
Ike stopped beating the crap out of Captain Falcon, staring at the sad emo kid crying beside Kirby.
"WHY MUST THE GOOD, DIE YOUNG?!?" Pit screamed at the ceiling, as if there was a god up there.
lol...
lol...
lol...
Will Kirby still be alive? (I know, he's alive since I said he just passed out) Will Pit stop being so overly dramatic? Will Ike stop spazzing all the time? Is Ike and Pit's relationship really true? Does Pit love Ike? (Ew.) Is Captain Falcon gay? (Like, duh.) Tune in next time to FIND OUT!
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Uh. I'm REALLY sick right now, and it's MARCH BREAK! (Sorry for ranting.)
Well, hope you like! I know I do! Also, if you don't really like my cuss words, well why did you read it? It was rated T for Teen…
HOOPLAH!