The Only Thing

A/N: The creatures Saitama fights are known by several names. You may know them as Mysterious Beings or as Monsters, which are translated/interpreted titles, but I will refer to them as Kaijin, based on the original Romaji reading of the term (for accuracy's sake and because of personal preference). The only confusion this may cause is in plural vs. non-plural, since both forms are the same, but you should easily be able to tell the difference based on the context.

Examples:

Singular: The Kaijin was facing him.

Plural: The Kaijin were facing him.

Now, on to the story.

Genos watched silently, reminding himself to take note of his Sensei's current state in his journal later. The pair had just returned from battling a Kaijin in downtown City Z. They hadn't been out looking for trouble, there was a special traveling farmer's market with really cheap prices in town today only, one that traveled the twenty-six cities, stopping at a new city for one day each, every three days, with a week in between cycles. The Kaijin battle had, ultimately, destroyed the market, and since City Z was the last stop there wouldn't be another market until at least a week from now, and even still it would be all the way in City A.

"By my calculations," Genos had begun as Saitama sat moping in the middle of the destroyed street which had once hosted the farmer's market, "the market should be back in about 85 days, equivalent to approximately three months." Saitama's shoulders slumped, and he looked utterly dejected. Genos' eyes sparked with determination and he clutched a fist in front of him. "If it is that important to you, Sensei," Genos said intensely, "I can make sure we're in City A next week when the market is there!"

Saitama sighed and slowly stood, shoulders still hunched. "Just, forget about it," he said quietly, eyes shadowed by his brow. "Let's go home." With that, they began a silent and slow trek back to the apartment.

Genos didn't speak along the way, sensing that his Sensei was in one of his moods. This particular type of mood was rarer, and featured a Sensei that was somehow more than just mopey. Genos didn't enjoy it when his Sensei was in this state: This particular kind of mood felt more serious and dark than Saitama's usual whinny displeasure. Genos didn't mind at all when his Sensei got whiny and complained, when he moved around comically and sighed melodramatically a lot. All of that Genos didn't care about, maybe he even enjoyed seeing his teacher's antics at those times. At the very least he appreciated that his Sensei didn't hide his feelings and thoughts from him when he complained, and Genos willingly listened, lightly amused but seriously comforting. The same could not be said when his Sensei got like this. This particular type of sadness was…. Well, actually sad, as far as Genos could tell, and it was secretive. Genos didn't like it one bit.

When his Sensei was in this kind of mood, Genos just let him be, as he was currently doing. He walked home at the slower pace, patiently, and stayed silent, not trying to strike up conversation. When they got back to the apartment he held the door open for his Sensei as Saitama sulked through the doorway and went immediately to the washroom. Genos never tried to pull Saitama out of these sad states anymore, not since he realized that all it took to snap Saitama out of it was to give him space and let him take a shower. When Saitama got like this he would always go straight to the bathroom to take a shower, and would emerge happy and much more like his usual self. Trying to pry before then, Genos found, often only made matters worse, so he let his teacher deal with it himself respectfully.

As Genos watched Saitama disappear to the shower, as he always did on these rare occasions, he couldn't help but wonder what triggered these almost depressed-feeling bouts in his Sensei. He always assumed it was because of the loss of a sale Saitama had wanted to utilize….

Genos' eyes gleamed again in determination as he went to prepare dinner. If losing a sale made his Sensei so depressed, then from now on Genos would do absolutely everything in his power to make sure that they never lost a discounted opportunity again!

~.~.~.~

Saitama shut the bathroom door behind him with a quiet click. He stepped over to the shower and turned the knobs to the hottest setting so that the water would heat up quickly. He shrugged off his hero's outfit and stepped under the scalding hot spray.

He could feel the heat, but it didn't hurt. What would turn another person's skin red left no physical mark on him. Saitama closed his eyes, frustrated. The water was hot, but not painful, as if he could feel the heat up to a certain point and then after that, no matter how much hotter the water may get, he could feel no more difference.

Genos thought he was upset about the market being destroyed before he could shop around, but that wasn't actually the case.

'I should have known better,' Saitama thought to himself. The Kaijin had once been no more than a man, and much like the first Kaijin he ever faced, the man had become a Kaijin by over-indulging in certain foods. Crablante had over-indulged in crab, obviously. The man today had over-indulged in vegetables. What his name had been, Saitama couldn't remember, as was often the case. He could ask Genos later, the cyborg would certainly know, but Saitama knew he wouldn't bother and would probably forget, since he didn't actually care what the creature's self-given name had been.

What he had cared about was false hope. 'Vegetables, huh?' Saitama had thought at the time. 'Vegetables make people strong and health. That's not entirely too different from my own natural methods of getting stronger...' True, the man had a cucumber for a nose and a cabbage-head for a, well, head... Along with other vegetables to make up various parts of his body such as his hands and green-beans for hair, but despite the fact that it was clearly no longer a man, Saitama let himself get his hopes up a little. 'Maybe this one will be different,' he'd thought. 'Maybe this one will actually have strength to rival me...' Most of him had known that it wouldn't be true, but still, a tiny part of him had hoped.

"I'll deal with this, Sensei!" Genos had promised, but Saitama raised a hand to stop him, observing the vegetable-man destroying market stalls.

"No, I've got it. I wanna deal with him because he destroyed the market." That had just been an excuse, of course. In reality, Saitama wanted to see first-hand how strong the Kaijin was. That had been a mistake. In a single punch the creature was splattered along the buildings around them, no more than green goo resembling a healthy vegetable smoothie. 'I punched too hard,' Saitama had reflected to himself. 'Now I can't even salvage any vegetables off of him, and the market has already been destroyed.'

He was upset about going home empty-handed, yes, but even more than that, he was saddened because he'd once again gotten his hopes up, even if only a tad, and had once again proven to be too strong...

Saitama opened his eyes, clearing his mind of the memories he'd just been re-living from earlier that day. He observed the steam from the hot water rising around him, hot enough to burn his lungs a little, if he had been a normal person. As it was currently, the steam hardly even labored his breathing, barely a shadow of the effect steam has on most people.

'That's right,' Saitama thought to himself. 'There's only one thing in this world which can hurt me.' Saitama wrapped his arms around himself tightly, the tips of his fingers resting over his sides. His grip tightened, and his nails dug lightly into his skin, little crescent-moons of tears in the skin appearing directly over identical scars. Saitama closed his eyes again, this time not reminiscing, but rather enjoying the slight burn at his sides. He dug his fingers in harder.

Genos had asked about Saitama's scars once while they were visiting the local bath house, a place they sometimes visited when they had time for a more proper and relaxing cleaning than just a quick shower could provide. Saitama had briefly explained that they were from before he gained his incredible strength, and Genos had accepted his words as the truth. Saitama always made sure to make the new marks in precisely the same location as the old ones, so that when the wounds healed over in a few days there would be no evidence to suggest recent blood being drawn from him, and Genos would have no reason to question him.

When Saitama had first considered self-harm as a means for feeling what should naturally be felt by any living being, he'd tried a few different methods that proved unsuccessful. Most people used blades, either razors or knives, maybe broken glass... But none of that had worked on him. He'd pressed the tip of a knife into his skin: It snapped. He had once tried to throw a pebble against his arm so hard that it would pierce him: It had been reduced to dust against his skin.

Eventually Saitama had realized that the only thing which was capable of hurting him was himself, in every sense of the word. He demonstrated as much as he stood in the shower and took his fingers away from his sides, blood seeping out. He warmly accepted the iron-tinted scent in the air.

Next Saitama proceeded to the other point of pain: He grabbed at the inner edge of his cheek with his perfectly aligned and healthy teeth and bit down hard. The metallic taste of his own blood was sweet on his tongue, but the pain that coursed through him was even sweeter. It was addicting, and he appreciated it with every fiber of his being.

Saitama had often wondered to himself if this self-harm was good for him, or if perhaps there was something wrong with him. If there was nothing wrong with it why, after all, was he hiding it from others?

'Being so impossibly strong is what's unhealthy,' Saitama reminded himself. Bleeding was human, was natural, a necessity. To bleed was to be alive, to know pain was an anchor which grounded him to reality. 'This is good for me,' Saitama agreed with himself. 'I don't tell others because they wouldn't understand. I don't do this for the same reasons that other people do. Usually it is wrong for people to hurt themselves,' he reasoned, 'but my situation is different. This is the closest thing to natural I have.'

Having convinced himself that he wasn't doing anything wrong and satisfied with the lingering stinging of pain in his sides and inner left cheek, Saitama shut off the water, dried himself, and dressed. He emerged from the bathroom feeling much happier, placated. The scent of home-made Oyakodon greeted him.

'How long was I in the shower for Genos to already be done with dinner?' Saitama wondered, approaching the table where Genos had just set two bowls down. He'd kept the meal warm on the stove and waited for the sound of running water in the shower to be cut off before preparing the dishes and setting the table so that dinner wouldn't be cold when his teacher emerged.

The two sat down for dinner, Saitama sitting sloppily on the floor while Genos sat in perfect etiquette position, as was the usual, comfortable routine. Saitama easily started up the conversation, thanking Genos for preparing dinner and discussing which items he wanted to purchase the next time that the farmer's market was in town. Genos played along, quipping in suggestions and commenting on possible times they might be able to go to the market before the end of the three-month period it would take for them to make their way all the way back to City Z.

"Yeah, maybe we can just-so-happen to go visit King in City M while the market is there," Saitama agreed.

"That would be ideal, since they will be there in almost exactly half the time it will take for them to be in City Z again," Genos agreed.

The rest of the night passed uneventfully. Saitama fell asleep laying down in front of the TV, his futon a mess beneath him before he was even unconscious. Genos sat cross-legged at a table nearby, watching his Sensei as he slept and writing in his journal by the flickering light of the television screen. He timed and dated his journal entry in his notebook. Several long minutes passed as he documented the events of the day.

He scanned over an excerpt from his own writing for the day:

…. I do not believe Sensei knows that I do constant scans of him and of our surroundings. He still makes an effort to hide it, which leads me to conclude that he must not know that my sensors can detect the scent of blood in the air, and that my scans are effective even through articles of clothing. Furthermore, occasionally, I can catch a glimpse of blood on his chopsticks when we are eating.

I do not know why Saitama-Sensei has chosen to harm himself on multiple occasions now, nor do I know why such harm seems to calm him and put him at ease when he is troubled. I can't help but feel that I simply don't understand him yet, despite my best efforts. It could simply be that he is upset about the market being destroyed, but... Isn't it also possible that this has something to do with his power? Or does he maybe have reasons which are more common, and not entirely different from the reasons that common people have to harm themselves? I'd rather believe the former.

Genos glanced up at his Sensei, sleeping soundly with a little drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. He murmured in his sleep about half-priced rice and eggs...

Genos looked down at the page before him and added:

Hopefully someday Sensei will entrust me with why he self-harms. Until then I await by his side, attempting to understand.