The infamous Blood Drive speech is born.
Chapter 2
It was night when Slink left his tent, and with the darkness came a blessed relief to the 120 degree heat that had been during the day. The heat really didn't affect him, but the cool night felt welcome. As he walked through the compound Slink looked at all the bonfires, the pounding driving death metal that was blasting, the drunken rabble, couples and groups of people fucking. All the chaos and mayhem made him smile. This was his doing, his creation and in two weeks this scene would pale in comparison. That and the fact he had finished most of the boring paperwork that day put a little extra swagger to his walk. Now he could work on the fun stuff, his speech and his outfit for his masterpiece's debut. He had hoped with Sway being a woman she could help him with both. There was an idea of what he should look like forming in his head. Not full on Steampunk, but not retro. Something...edgy and flamboyant. He was happy that she had agreed to help him, someone with nothing to gain by agreeing with him just because; a person that Slink felt would be honest with him. If for no other reason than it was good manners. He stepped onto her porch, and with a pleased sigh, knocked on her door.
Sway opened the door for him and he noticed she was wearing the same clothes as last night, also her hair was damp, making it appear to be a darker blue. As he entered the first thing he noticed was the stack of paper and pencils on one of the tables beside the small couch. Slink walked over to the kitchen table and placed his hat on it, and noticed there was three pint jars and two glasses there. One jar was the one from last night, one held something that looked like tree bark, while the third held a purplish liquid.
"Oh, is that what I think it is?" He had pulled his sunglasses off and placed an ear piece in his mouth.
"Yup. You know what this one is, and this is chewy protein bars." She locked eyes with him for a moment and noticed that he actually seemed interested in what she was saying. "The clear, in-case you don't like the blackberry. The protein bars...sometimes drinking makes me hungry. And besides some of the best brain storming can come while you're buzzed. Thanks to you, Julian Slink, I'm off tomorrow so I intend to be buzzing like a bee tonight." Sway watched as he got this shy almost boyish grin and momentarily closed his eyes.
"By all means please do." Slink laid his shades beside his hat then placed his hands on the table and leaned over it still smiling. "Are we ready?"
She leaned in and stared into green eyes and tapped the metal top of the blackberry moonshine, "Are you ready?"
He leaned closer to her, "Little girl...I was born ready," he growled, challenging her.
"Good."
They leaned back almost in unison and Sway opened the blackberry and poured her guest a small amount in his glass.
"That's just a taste," she shrugged slightly, "you like it, I'll top you off." Still smiling she wondered what Slink would think about it.
After last night's lesson, he picked up the glass and looked at the colored whiskey, then swished it around and smelled it. It smelled dark and sweet and ready. Tipping it up, he braced for the burn as he swallowed. It was still there, but tempered by the sweet rich blackberry flavor. If he hadn't known what it was Slink would have guessed an exotic import of some type. He realized he had been standing in silence when he heard Sway's voice.
"Well, do you like it?' Sway knew he had by the look on his face. In-fact she knew he had enjoyed it very much.
"My dear, that was pure ambrosia." He placed the glass on the table and she refilled it while he spoke. "I must admit, I have been selling moonshine short. This is very high quality." He took another, deeper drink, and this time really got the full fruit flavor. "Where did you find blackberries? I haven't seen any in ages."
"Don't feel bad about misjudging 'shine. Not all of it is this good, in fact bad quality can make you go blind; or if the the dum-dums making it does't toss it...that first pint can kill you." Sway took her own drink and hummed. "As for the blackberries, you'd be surprised what grows up in the hills. Found the stuff for these there," pointing to the protein bars.
"Sway, you are a woman of wonder." Slink looked around the room then turned back to her. "Where do we do this?"
"Um," she pointed to the couch, "over there's the most comfortable."
Grabbing the pint to go with his glass, Slink walked the short distance to the couch, Sway noticed that he had changed clothes since this morning. Gone was the lavish lace and the plaid britches, he still had on his black knee boots, but his britches was gray as was his military styled jacket. His shirt could only be described as muted or creamy pumpkin. It suited him as much as Sway's normal dress suited her. She set her glass on the table and picked up some papers, a book to write on and a pencil before sitting beside him. She turned to face him and placed her feet in the narrow space between them. Slink looked down at her feet and saw her right one was covered with an exotic purple and burgundy flower and vines that wound up her ankle.
He turned towards her and placed his right arm on the back of the couch. "Any ideas?" Slink watched her close her eyes and fidget with her pencil.
"I have an idea," she opened her eyes, "Ladies and Gentlemen,"
"Oh please. That's so cliche. I need original...something to grab the bastards by the throat." Slink made a fist with his right hand for emphasis.
"You shut up and drink your 'shine." Sway could tell by his expression that he wasn't used to being told to shut up, even if it was only teasing. "Look Slink," she sighed, "I know it's cliche, that's why it's a perfect start."
"How?"
"For starters, there won't be any there. Then..." She shrugged, "You could start listing the ones that are there,... liiike Ladies and Gentlemen, Bastards and Tramps."
"Oh I see." He thought for a moment. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Bastards and Tramps, Bloodsuckers, Motherfuckers, Road Trash and Vamps."
"That's good!" Sway was trying to write as fast as the words were coming. She downed her glass, and held it out toward him. "Would you hit me?"
He opened the jar and only gave her a quarter of a glass. She looked at it then back at him.
"Really?"
"I don't want you getting shit faced and giggly on me...not yet anyway." He looked around her trailer drumming his fingers on his legs. "Ah Sway...do you have a bathroom in here...or do I..." His voice trailed off as he pointed to the door.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I don't get company...ever. It's down the hall, on the left." As he went down the hall, she went to the table and grabbed the jar of protein bars. She returned to the couch and sat cross legged eating. After a few minutes, Sway heard him yelling.
"You have a shower!"
"Ah, yeah. It came with the trailer." She replied as she stood up and walked to the hall entrance.
"You have a shower! I don't have my own shower." Slink was astonished that there even was a private one in the camp.
"Would you like to use it sometimes?"
That had never occurred to him. "Oh. You wouldn't mind?"
"Julian Slink, God of the stage, Master of ceremonies, I'd be honored for you to borrow my shower." She touched her hand to her heart and smiled.
"Say that again." He stepped around her and got the paper she had been writing on.
"I'd be honored for you to borrow my shower?"
He just stared at her. "The other..."
"Julian Slink, God of the stage, Master of ceremonies?"
He started writing very quickly, paused, mumbled and began writing again. "Okay, tell me what you think." Slink cleared his throat. "It's been a cold dark year. I'm so glad to see your grease stained faces, your filthy smiles. I'm your host, Julian Slink. Master of Ceremonies. God of the stage. Welcome to the meanest, nastiest, filthiest road race in the world...BLOOD DRIVE!"
"Do it all together. I gotta hear it." Excitedly Sway set on the couch and waited for the speech.
Slink put on his shades and stood at the end of the trailer, which was about three feet from the couch.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, bastards and tramps. Blood suckers, motherfuckers, road trash and vamps. To the queer and the strange, in the crowd," Slink gestured to himself, "and on the stage. To the violent and malevolent...and those seeking the grave...WELCOME HOME!" He paused long enough to repossession his shades in order to look over them, and stare at Sway "It's been a cold dark year, I'm so glad to see your grease stained faces, your filthy smiles." He placed a hand on his chest, "I am your host, Julian Slink. Master of Ceremonies. God of the stage. Welcome to the meanest, nastiest, filthiest road race in the world." He paused, took a breath and raised his arms. "BLOOD DRIVE!"