She's the Devil Chapter 2: Part 2 of 2, a that '70s show fanfic

Recap: Chaos ensued after the gang made their way to a Halloween party in Kenosha. Fez took off after a little kid who stole his candy in high-heels, Kelso went missing, Eric ran off in freight, Jackie and Hyde got locked in a basement, and…Maybe you should just read Part 1. I wrote a lot of stuff there…

Disclaimer: I haven't acquired the rights to That '70s Show since Part 1, so I still don't own anything.

She's the Devil

Part 2 of 2

Early Morning- Saturday, November 1st, 1980

Kenosha, Wisconsin

Haunted Mansion Basement

"Jackie? What's the matter?" Hyde called from the foot of the stairs. "Someone's bound to come by eventually. We just have to wait…"

"This is all wrong!" she cried, not listening to him. She continued pounding on the door in alarm. "This wasn't part of the plan!"

Hyde froze. "Plan? What plan?"

Jackie stilled and went quiet.

"Jackie? What plan?"

Jackie slowly turned to him, guilt written all over her face. "Plan? Who said anything about a plan?" she asked airily, absently looking around. "I didn't say anything about a plan. Steven, you must be hearing things."

Man, she really knew how to try his patience.

Hyde crossed his arms and fixed the lying brunette with a deadly stare. "Jackie, I distinctly heard you say 'This wasn't part of the plan.' Now tell me what the hell you were talking about."

Jackie winced at his harsh tone. "Okay, I may have said something about a plan," she reluctantly admitted. She fidgeted nervously. "I-I…I was referring to my new hair care regimen. Yeah, that's it. You see, it's this new shampoo I'm trying. I have to wash my hair every night before midnight. Otherwise, my hair will turn out all flat and listless like Donna's. That's why I need to get out of this basement. So I can go and…uh…wash my hair." She nodded at him as if she thought this was perfectly logical reasoning for her behavior.

Hyde stared blankly at her. "Jackie, that's bull."

"No, really. I'm in the midst of a hair care emergency! If we don't get out of this basement soon, it might suddenly collapse—"

Hyde was not in the mood to be trifled with by a ninety-five pound former cheerleader. "Jackie, shut the hell up about your hair and get your cute butt down here and tell me the truth!"

Jackie's eyes sparkled. "Wait. You think I have a cute butt—"

"JACKIE! Get the hell down here before I MAKE you come down!"

"Okay, Steven. I'm coming. Geez. I don't know why you're making such a big fuss…" She tentatively made her way down the basement steps to face him.

He met her with a cold expression. "Well…?"

Jackie uncharacteristically seemed to be at a loss for words. "I…I…Steven, wouldn't you rather talk about this later?" she asked, side-stepping the issue. She flipped her hair back and struck an enticing pose, highlighting how good she looked in her devil costume. "I don't feel much like talking right now," she meaningfully added with a seductive smile, "I'd much rather be doing something else…"

Crap. She looked so…dangerously hot in that devil costume. He almost wanted to forget the whole thing and make out with her.

Must. look. away. from. the. devil.

Hyde quickly averted his gaze. "Jackie, I know what you're doing and it's not going to work."

Jackie unhappily stuck out her bottom lip. "But Steven, it's nothing. There's no good reason we need to talk about this now," she whined.

"Why? You got somewhere to be?" he sarcastically quipped. He motioned to their surroundings. "Jackie, we're locked in a basement. The only company you have besides me is the spinning head chick from The Exorcist and those two plastic skeletons from the coffins, who you'll be joining if you don't open that big mouth of yours and tell me what exactly it is your hiding." He cocked his head to the side. "Besides, if it's nothing then you should have no problem telling me," he reasoned.

Jackie went rigid. "Okay, I'll tell you everything," she bravely told him before immediately backtracking to cowardly territory. "Right after you promise you won't be mad…"

"Jackie, how can I promise I won't be mad?" he asked. He stared down at the nervous-looking brunette. "I'm already getting mad…"

"No, no…don't do that." She urgently held out her hands as if she could physically prevent him from getting mad.

"Then I suggest you start filling me in on this so-called plan."

Jackie frowned at him. "Well, at least promise me you won't break up with me afterwards. We just got back together like a half hour ago. If you break up with me now, I'll be even more pathetic than Fez when I dumped him after only two weeks," she selfishly demanded.

Incredulous, Hyde unfolded his arms. "Maybe this whole thing was a mistake," he harshly bit out. "You're still as manipulative as ever. Clearly, you didn't mean all that crap about trust and being truthful—"

"No! Steven! I did mean it!" she desperately cried. "Really! I want our relationship to work! I want to be honest with you…" she trailed off, realizing her own words. She sighed heavily. "Okay, Steven. You win. I'll tell you everything…"

Hyde refolded his arms and waited for her to continue.

Silence.

Jackie was currently staring at the caskets in the middle of the room, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Jackie?" he implored.

Silence.

"Jackie?"

Silence.

"JACKIE!" Hyde hollered, drawing her from her reverie. "When exactly are you planning on telling me everything? Next week?"

Startled, Jackie turned to Hyde with the most open, vulnerable expression he had ever seen…

Damn. Why were his sunglasses buried in her cleavage again?

"Steven, I need you to know I meant all that stuff I said," she spoke in a soft but clear voice. "You mean so much to me, Steven. I want to make this relationship work." She took a deep breath before continuing. "And I will try to be truthful and less manipulative…in the future."

What the…?

Hyde was confused where the hell she was going with this. So he asked, "Jackie, where the hell are you going with this?"

He was unprepared for the shrilly onslaught that followed…

"STEVEN, I PLANNED EVERYTHING!" she suddenly shrieked in such a high pitch, dogs must have heard her for a miles around.

Hyde put his hands to his ears and winced. "Damn! Jackie! Are you trying to split my head open?" He shot her a dirty look and noticed that mouth of hers was still yapping away, but he couldn't hear her…

Jackie finished speaking and impatiently tapped her foot. "Steven, didn't you hear what I said?"

"Jackie, my ears are too busy ringing right now to hear much of anything."

"I said I planned everything that happened tonight," she huffed in aggravation.

"Huh?" was his enlightened response.

Jackie frowned. "Steven, don't you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

He shook his head.

Jackie stomped her foot in frustration. "Steven! Everything that happened tonight happened because of me! It was all MY doing! What don't you understand?"

Hyde was still confused. "Jackie, I'm sure what you said makes sense inside that overly hair-sprayed head of yours, but I need you to be more clear. What exactly do you mean when you say 'everything happened' because of you?"

"I mean… the party…Fez…Kelso…Eric…the basement…everything…" She pointed towards herself. "I orchestrated it ALL!" she cried in dramatic fashion.

Hyde raised an eyebrow. "You orchestrated it all?" he questioned with heavy skepticism.

Jackie's jaw tightened in indignation. "Yes. I did. It was all planned out," she said through clenched teeth.

"You make it sound like you're some evil mastermind," he scoffed.

"Steven, I am an evil mastermind!"

"Uh huh…and Kelso's becoming a member of Mensa any day now."

Jackie growled at him. "Steven! I'll have you know I am so an evil mastermind!" She began looking wildly around the room, until her eyes landed on something…

Hyde followed her line of sight…

"No, you don't! You stay the hell away from that pitchfork!" he cried as she lunged for the red, shiny object on the floor. He grabbed her by the shoulders and physically pulled her away from the pitchfork.

"Steven!" she squealed.

"Jackie, I can't hold a conversation with you when your pointing a pitchfork at my balls," he explained as he released his hold on her.

Jackie crossed her arms and began to pout. "Steven, I don't understand why you don't believe me. You even said earlier I was evil when I distracted you during those crappy movies you wanted to see," she pointed out.

Hyde rolled his eyes. "Jackie, there's a difference between doing evil and being an evil mastermind. Distracting me by jumping me during a movie—which was not crappy by the way—is doing evil. Being an evil mastermind requires a high amount of patience and forethought." He smirked. "Take, for instance, the time I talked Forman into attempting to steal Red's beer so that he would get caught, and I could actually steal Red's beer while he was busy sticking his foot up Forman's ass. That was a highly thought out and carefully enacted plan to burn Forman. That's what makes me an evil mastermind." He eyed her critically. "You expect me to believe all of this evening's unfortunate events are due to some evil plot you concocted?"

"YES!" Jackie emphatically answered.

He sighed wearily. "Jackie, everything that happened tonight happened because our friends are morons. Donna had a brain-freeze and thought this whole Halloween trip was good idea. Fez has gender issues and took off after a kid who stole his candy on high-heels. Kelso probably wandered off in the dark and stabbed himself with his own sword. Forman should have been born a girl and ran off in freight like the pansy he is. You didn't do all that."

"But, Steven, I DID do all that!" She put her hands on her hips in protest. "Seriously, I—"

"Jackie, it doesn't make sense," Hyde irritably cut off. "Let's hypothetically say you did do all that. Why would you do all that?"

Jackie looked at him as if he'd just surpassed Kelso in the stupid department. "To be with you" was her simple answer.

Hyde was stunned. "To be with me?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Jackie, I don't understand…"

She sighed. "You wouldn't. You have such incredibly low self-esteem from being poor most of your life—"

"I do not have low self-esteem—"

"That's why you hide your emotions by acting Zen—"

"Jackie, that's crap. I have no emotions and I am Zen—"

"Don't worry. I'll help with your crippled feelings later—"

"I don't need help. I need to get out of this basement—"

"But before that, let me explain what really happened so you can understand…"

***FLASHBACK***

A Week Earlier…

Point Place, Wisconsin / Madison, Wisconsin

Jackie's Apartment / Eric and Donna's Apartment

"Going to the mall with Eric was a huge mistake. There was this Star Wars display, and I had to literally drag him away. It was embarrassing. I don't understand why he wanted to buy another lightsaber anyway—"

"Donna, as much as I love hearing about what a pathetic super-geek your boyfriend is," Jackie sarcastically cut off her red-headed friend, whom she was to speaking to over the phone. "There are more important things to discuss. Like my wardrobe."

She then proceeded to go into a lengthy tirade about Calvin Klein jeans…

"You know, I look so much better in them then that bitch Brooke Shields. Seriously, Calvin Klein should hire me instead of her—"

"Jackie," Donna wearily broke in after about twenty minutes, "My hand has gone numb from holding the phone in place so long. I think we should cease talking about shopping. In fact, maybe we should cease talking altogether. Explain to me again why we have to spend hours on the phone every week…"

Jackie rolled her eyes, though her friend couldn't see her. "Well, Donna, if you would get your big lumberjack butt over to Point Place once in a while, we wouldn't have to talk on the phone so much." She sighed. "Seriously, Donna, it's been forever since I've seen you and Eric. Don't you think it's about time you came to visit?"

"Gee, Jackie, you sound like you actually miss us," Donna teased.

Silence.

"Oh my God! Jackie! You actually miss us!"

"No! Of course not!" Jackie refuted a bit too quickly. "I just…I just need a less attractive female to hang out with so people can appreciate my beauty properly," she insisted. "Yeah, hanging out with Steven all the time isn't the same. He's so scary most guys are afraid to even look at me when I'm with him."

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot you and Hyde have been all buddy-buddy since we've been gone," Donna replied in an amused tone. "How's that going?"

"Going?" emphasized the now-annoyed brunette. "It's not going anywhere. He growls at any guy that comes near me, but acts like he doesn't want to be near me at the same time. He's too confusing. Plus, hanging out with him is guaranteeing that I'm never gonna get a date. Donna, I'm going to die an old maid!"

"Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic?" asked Donna.

"Dramatic? Me? Donna, I'm never dramatic," Jackie pronounced in an overly dramatic manner. At Donna's loud scoff, "Look, as far as Steven goes, only drastic action will get his attention. I'm not being dramatic. I'm being practical," she explained. Shaking her head, "Let's not dwell anymore on my scruffy ex-boyfriend," she suggested. "Don't you miss having the gang all together?"

Donna paused for a moment. "Yeah, I really do miss having all the gang together," she wistfully admitted. "Things haven't been the same since Eric and I went to Madison. I'd love to come back and see everyone, but I don't think we could get everyone together unless there was something exciting going on in Point Place."

Jackie smiled deviously. "Yeah, there's absolutely nothing exciting going on in Point Place," she stated with convincing aloofness. "There's this big Halloween party in Kenosha next weekend, but other than that there's absolutely nothing going on."

"Really? A Halloween party?" Donna asked, clearly intrigued.

"Yeah, and there's supposed to be this lame haunted mansion next door," Jackie added. "But you wouldn't be interested in that, would you?" Jackie bit her lip in anticipation.

"Jackie? Are you kidding? A Halloween party would be the perfect excuse to get all the gang together!" Donna answered excitedly.

"I don't know…" Jackie trailed off, pretending to mull over the idea. "Do you really think the guys would want to come? I mean, it's required to wear a costume to get in."

"They won't have a choice! I'll threaten to kick their asses if they don't come!" declared Donna, getting fired up. She paused. "The only one who might be a problem is Hyde…"

"Oh, Steven's easy," Jackie dismissed with surprising conviction. "Just threaten to tell Mrs. Forman what really happened to her alcohol stash on the Fourth of July. I guarantee he'll come."

"Really? That'll work?" Donna asked, sounding impressed. She then curiously furthered, "What did happen to Mrs. Forman's alcohol stash on the Fourth of July?"

"It's not important," Jackie stated evasively. "What is important is it will work."

"Alright, then! Eric and I will be back next weekend for a Halloween party with the gang! This is awesome! It'll be just like old times!" cheered an overly-excited Donna. She paused. "We're going to have to get costumes at the last minute though…"

"Don't worry, Donna. I'm sure you'll find something that'll fit your mannish figure. If all else fails, you could always be an Amazon woman," Jackie advised.

"Thanks, Jackie," Donna responded dryly.

"No problem," Jackie told her. She then squealed in excitement. "Oh my God! Donna! Wait until you see my Halloween costume! You and everyone else is going to pale in comparison! I bought it early just in case…"

Donna listened as Jackie went on a tirade about how "wicked hot" she was going to look in her costume…

"Jackie, you won't believe how relieved I am to hear you'll be the best looking girl in Wisconsin. I think I'll finally be able to sleep at night," Donna sarcastically commented.

"Donna, I don't think you realize the magnitude of what I'm telling you. No guy is going to be able to resist me in that costume. Least of all Ste—"

"That's great, Jackie, but…uh…I think I hear Eric calling me…What's that Eric? You need me to help you with something?" Donna interjected in what was clearly a desperate attempt to escape the conversation. "I better go," she told Jackie, "The last time Eric called for help, someone stole our silverware. I'll see you next weekend. Bye, Jackie."

"Bye, Donna." Jackie smirked in triumph as she hung up the phone. "God, some people are so easy to manipulate."

***END FLASHBACK***

"You see? Coming here was my idea," Jackie explained to Hyde. "All I had to do was use a little reverse psychology on Donna and it made it seem that convincing everyone to come here was her idea."

Hyde stared at the devious brunette. "So it's your fault I was blackmailed into wearing a pirate costume and coming to this stupid place."

"Yep," Jackie cheerfully answered. She then took on a thoughtful expression. "You know, Donna thinks she's so smart going to college and whatnot, but let me to tell you, I played that lumberjack like a fiddle."

Hyde nodded in agreement. "I admit I'm disappointed in Donna. I think all the time she's spending with Forman is dumbing her down."

Jackie shrugged, looking up at him. "So now do you believe that I planned everything?"

Hyde stared stoically down at the petite girl, not ready to give in. "I'll reserve judgment on that until I hear the full story. I'm still inclined to think tonight's disastrous events had more to do with our friends being morons than you being an evil mastermind."

"Fine," she huffed. She took a deep breath and continued her story. "Obviously, Donna did her job and convinced everyone—including you—to come to the Halloween party before I arrived tonight." Hyde scowled at her, but she ignored him. "So all I had to do was look stunning in my costume and make sure we all made it to the party. Why do you think I didn't participate in the circle?"

"I thought you were too taken with yourself in the mirror."

Jackie rolled her eyes. "No. Although I am ridiculously attractive, I was actually making sure we left on time and didn't stay in the circle all night," she explained. "Once we arrived at the party, I had to find a way to get rid of our friends—"

"Wait a second," Hyde interrupted, a thought having struck him.

"What is it, Steven?"

He narrowed his eyes. "How did you know what happened to Mrs. Forman's alcohol stash on the Fourth of July?"

Jackie smirked at him. "I know lots of things, Steven," she answered mysteriously. "Now, do you want to hear the rest of my story? I thought you'd be interested to know what really happened to Fez…"

***FLASHBACK***

Much, Much Earlier that Evening…

Outside the Haunted Mansion

"Yeah, you go ahead. I'm just going to fix my make-up," Jackie said, pulling out her compact.

Hyde observed her through his shades. "Is something wrong?"

"No. Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all," she answered, pronouncing the words with venom.

Jackie looked into the mirror of her compact and watched as he hastily exited the van. Once Hyde was out of sight, she snapped the compact shut and looked around…

Her eyes landed on a group of kids that were hanging out near the site of the party. Stealing a cautious glance toward the front of the haunted mansion where the rest of the gang had gathered, Jackie got out of the van and made her way towards the group of young boys.

She flipped her hair back and shot a winning smile in the kids' direction. The boys all looked at bit stunned at her presence.

A short kid with dark hair stepped forward. Clearly, he was the ringleader of the group. "Hey there, toots. What's a hot devil like you doing over here?"

"Just thought I'd come over and see what you kids are doing here," she answered sweetly.

The boy immediately glowered at her. "We're not kids. And we have every right to be here," he stated fiercely.

Jackie frowned. "Please. How old are you? Like, ten?"

"Twelve," the ringleader snapped defensively.

Jackie gave him a disbelieving look.

"I'm small for my age," he bitterly explained.

Jackie scoffed. "Okay, Mr. Man," she said mockingly. "If you're so grown up, how come you're all standing outside here instead of going into the party?"

The boys all shifted awkwardly until a slight, blonde kid piped up. "They wouldn't let us in. They said we were too young."

"Shut your trap," the ringleader hissed, silencing his friend. He turned to Jackie. "We didn't want to go to some lame party anyway."

"Oh," Jackie said, looking at her nails with faux interest. "So, then, you wouldn't be interested in knowing how to get into the party?"

"Are you serious?" the blonde kid piped up again.

"Of course we want to know!" another boy amongst the group exclaimed.

"What did I JUST say?" the little ringleader barked. "Now shut your trap! ALL of you!" He gave Jackie a shrewd look. "So, are you going to tell us how to get into the party?"

Jackie looked up from her nails. "I could," she stated slyly. "As long as you do something for me…"

"And what would that be?"

Jackie pointed her pitchfork in the direction of the haunted mansion, where her friends were standing. "You see that foreign kid who is dressed like a girl and clutching a bag of candy in front of the haunted mansion? I want you to steal his candy and keep it away from him as long as possible."

The boy looked indignant. "I told you, we're not kids. I don't need to steal candy—"

"It has nothing to do with your age, you undersized brat," Jackie cut off. "I need you to distract the foreign guy for me." She gave him a hard look. "Don't you want to know how to get into the party?"

The kid made a face, seemingly in deep thought. "Alright. I'll steal the foreign guy's candy if you tell us how to get into the party, but I want something else too."

Jackie narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "What's that?"

"A kiss."

"A kiss?" Jackie gasped in surprise.

"That's right. A kiss on the lips," the boy answered smugly. "You might think I'm young, but I'm certainly not blind. You're one HOT chick. A kiss from you is going to get me bragging rights for years."

Jackie surveyed the boy warily before smirking. "Alright, kid. I'll kiss you," she agreed. "I can't blame you. I am hot." She rolled her eyes as the group of boys began whooping in triumph. "But you better do a good job of stealing my friend's candy, kid," she warned.

"I will," ringleader boy cockily assured her, "and I am not a kid." He paused. "Now about getting into the party…"

"I believe Jake Stone is the doorman for this party, correct?" questioned Jackie.

"Yep. And he's a real tool."

"True." Jackie nodded in agreement. "But he's your way in. You threaten him that you'll tell his girlfriend Linda what he was doing with Sandy Marshall two weeks ago in the girl's bathroom at the Hub, and he'll let you in. I guarantee it."

Ringleader boy's eyes went wide. "Whoa! Really?"

"Really." Jackie winked.

"Awesome!" The kid then cleared his throat. "Now about that kiss…"

Jackie rolled her eyes…

She then leaned in and gave the kid a short, light kiss. When she leaned back, the kid looked kind of dazed. She smirked before getting down to business. "Alright, I'm going to join my friends . Wait about a minute before you swoop in and steal my foreign friend's candy. Got it?" she barked. At his nod, she turned and started walking away…

After a few steps, she turned back. "Oh, and if you see a really klutzy Zorro or a twerpy guy dressed like the Professor from Gilligan's Island at the party, feel free to pelt them with the candy."

She then headed to join the rest of the gang in front of the haunted mansion…

***END FLASHBACK***

Hyde's jaw dropped. "Jackie! You kissed a twelve-year-old? Isn't that, like, illegal or something?"

Jackie gave him an exasperated look. "I had to! I needed to get rid of Fez for my plan to work!"

Hyde shook his head. "Whatever," he said gruffly. "The kid was quite a little hustler, though. Have to give him credit. I'll still kill him if I see him though…"

"Steven!" Jackie squealed in delight. "You're jealous!"

Hyde tightened his jaw. "I'm not jealous."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," she said again, grinning. "Aww, baby, you don't need be jealous. You're the only one I want." He looked away from her, but she continued to smile. A thought then seemed to strike her. "Hey, Steven, since you're jealous, does that mean you forgive me for setting things up tonight?"

Hyde tried to ignore the fact that she was batting her eyelashes at him. "That depends," he bit out.

"On what?"

"On how many other guys you offered yourself to in the process."

"Steven!" she cried in indignation. "I gave a kid one measly little kiss so he would do what I wanted. And it worked, didn't it? It got Fez out of the way. You can't say my plan wasn't brilliant."

Hyde shifted his weight slightly. "I admit that having some kid steal Fez's candy was…a pretty good burn."

"Just pretty good?" she pried. "Not worthy of an evil mastermind?"

"I wouldn't go that far," Hyde stated decisively.

Jackie pouted. "Steven, I don't think you understand how hard I worked to get you alone. You haven't been very complimentary. You hardly said anything about my outfit—"

"Jackie, why don't you use that overly-talkative mouth of yours to continue with the story?" Hyde asked, though it sounded more like a demand.

Jackie glared at him but picked up with the story nonetheless. "So, after I got rid of Fez, we went into the haunted mansion. I don't know if you remember Jason. He was dressed as Romeo. He greeted us when we came in—"

"Don't tell me you offered yourself to him too?" Hyde broke in, unfolding his arms and stepping towards her.

"Steven! Don't be ridiculous. That's not what happened at all…"

***FLASHBACK***

Much Earlier that Evening…

Inside the Haunted Mansion

A tall, good-looking man with blonde hair approached the gang. "Hey, Jackie," the man greeted. He looked her up and down. "Great devil costume."

Jackie's whole face lit up. "Thanks, Jason. I love your Romeo outfit," she beamed with a girlish giggle. "Can I talk to you in private?" she asked, grabbing his arm and dragging him off before he could answer.

"Jackie, you're going to rip my Romeo costume if you keep pulling that hard," he protested.

"Shhhh," she hissed, ignoring the reluctant Romeo's complaints until she was out of earshot from the rest of the gang.

"Jackie, what's up?" Jackie's manhandled victim asked once she finally released him. "Why didn't you introduce me to your friends?" He nodded in the direction of the gang. "So which one is he? The tall, good-looking one?"

Jackie followed his line of sight. "Michael? No. He's a totally different ex-boyfriend." She watched as Kelso attempted to strike dashing poses in the hallway mirror and scrunched up her nose. "It's the scruffy guy I'm concerned with," she clarified, motioning towards Hyde.

"You must be awfully fond of him if you went to this much trouble to be with him," Jason commented. He looked quizzically at Hyde. "You know, I never would have thought he was your type. He seems so—"

"Badass?" Jackie finished with pride. "Yeah, I know." She took on a wistful expression. "Steven and I always did have a creepy and unnatural relationship. It was so dirty and wrong and…so…so…hot."

Jackie received a strange look from the Romeo-attired Jason, but she was too lost in thought to notice.

"Um…right," Jason tried, clearing his throat.

Jackie continued to ignore his presence.

Jason waved a hand in front of her face. "Jackie? Can you quit daydreaming about badass boy so we can focus here? You're the one who blackmailed me into helping you trap the guy. We need to figure out our next plan of action."

"Huh?" she asked distractedly. Then, coming to her senses, "Hey! I'm not trapping Steven into anything! He wants to be with me…He just won't admit it," she heatedly argued. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "And I wouldn't say I blackmailed you…"

"You threatened to tell my father I prefer boys over girls if I didn't throw this Halloween party at my house and help you setup your scruffy ex-boyfriend over there," he reiterated. "If that isn't blackmail, what is it?"

Jackie had the good grace to look guilty…if only slightly. "Okay, fine," she huffed in annoyance. "I admit it. I blackmailed you. So what?" She put one hand on her hip, while the other pointed her pitchfork at the blackmailed Romeo. "But I had good reason to blackmail you. If I don't take drastic action, Steven's going to take forever to admit his true feelings for me…if ever. I'm not getting any younger! I refuse to die an old maid!"

"Jackie, you're twenty years old—"

"I know! Before you know it, I'll be twenty-five and my life will be over!" she cried, waving her pitchfork about. She then composed herself and pointed at Jason. "And if you didn't want anyone blackmailing you then you shouldn't have gone into that broom closet with that cute lawyer guy during my dad's trial…during which your bastard of a father testified against my dad to save his own ass," she lectured.

"You're right…but he was cute," Jason sighed. "And my father is a bastard." He ran a hand through his hair. "Sometimes I want to tell him about my…preferences. I'd love to see his face."

"That's great, Jason. You should do that," Jackie flippantly responded. "Right after you help me with Steven…"

Jason rolled his eyes. "Alright. What's the plan?"

Jackie happily let her accomplice in on her evil plan. "The plan is for me to lose the rest of my loser friends and then 'accidentally' get locked in a room with Steven. Once I'm alone with Steven, it'll only be a matter of time before he can't resist me…especially in this costume."

Jason looked her over approvingly. "You do look good in that costume. Being the devil suits you."

Jackie winked at him seductively.

"You're still not my type though," Jason joked. Turning serious, "I suppose I could lock you in the basement, but how are you going to lose the rest of your friends?"

"Don't worry about them. Leave those morons to me," Jackie told him. "You just keep tabs on us and make sure Steven and I get locked in the basement once I lead him down there."

"Okay, I will," Jason agreed. "You're such a little thing, but you're so bossy." Jackie glared at him, and he held his hands up in surrender. "Hey! I'm the one doing your bidding here! When do you want me to let you out of the basement?"

Jackie bit her lip in concentration. "You better wait until after midnight. It might take a while for Steven to come around. Just slip the key under the door or something."

"Sure thing. I don't want to be around when you two get out of there." He glanced over at Hyde, who was glaring daggers at him. "Jackie, your badass boy isn't prone to violence, is he?"

Jackie peered over at Hyde and smirked in satisfaction. He looked like he wanted to throttle Jason. "Oh, don't worry about Steven. He's just jealous." She paused. "Don't get me wrong. He could kill you."

Jason looked alarmed.

"He won't, though," Jackie comforted. "I don't think…"

"Are you're sure you don't want to rethink this and go for the tall, good-looking one? He doesn't look like he'd kill anyone. And he'd be great to look at in bed…"

Jackie made a face. "You have the hots for Michael?"

"He is quite the looker. I don't suppose the two of you broke up because…"

"No," Jackie answered decisively. "He likes girls. Far too much, actually. That was the problem."

"Too bad."

"Yeah…" Jackie trailed off distractedly. "Look, I better get going. I've got three friends to lose and an ex-boyfriend to lock myself in a basement with."

Jason appeared amused. "But, of course, you're not trapping him."

Jackie shot him a dirty look. "I'm not," she asserted, "but I don't feel the need to explain any further to you. You just do as you're told."

"I will. Just make sure badass boy doesn't find out my involvement in this plan of yours. I value my life."

Jackie shrugged. "He won't find out. Why would he?" She paused. "You know, I don't think Michael will go for it, but you can always try to take advantage of him when he's drunk later at the party," she suggested.

Jason smiled. "Thanks."

Jackie smiled back before turning serious. "Watch out for Michael's sword, though. He might accidently kill you with it."

With that parting warning, Jackie left the Kelso-loving Romeo and sashayed her way back over to her friends, who appeared deep in discussion…

***END FLASHBACK***

"So, that's what happened…" Jackie finished lamely.

"I thought you were flirting with that Romeo guy," Hyde stated curtly. "Turns out he's hot for Kelso and you were plotting to trap me the whole time. What the hell is going on tonight?"

"I was not plotting to trap you," Jackie defended.

Hyde motioned to their surroundings. "Jackie, you had us locked in a basement," he pointed out. "Perhaps in the Official Dictionary of Cheerleaders, the word 'trap' has a different meaning," he continued sarcastically, "but for the non pom-pom inclined I'm pretty sure this would qualify as being trapped."

"No, Steven, you don't understand," Jackie told him in a surprisingly gentle voice. "I admit, I had us trapped in a basement, but it was never my intention to trap you into a relationship. I just wanted to be with you, and I was pretty sure you wanted to be with me too. But you're so stubborn, Steven. I knew I had to take drastic action to get you to admit how you felt about me."

"I see" was Hyde's only response.

"Steven…"

"Don't," Hyde bit out, not wanting to hear her explain further.

Silence.

Hyde looked down at Jackie. "So this whole night really was some evil master plan you concocted?" he casually questioned.

Jackie gulped. "Uh…yeah…"

He was silent for a moment. "And you had absolutely no intention of telling me this whole night was your idea, did you?"

Jackie's eyes went wide. "No! Steven! I was going to tell you!"

Hyde raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Jackie shifted uncomfortably. "Yes. Really. I was…" She looked away. "Just at a much later date."

"How much later?"

Silence.

"Jackie…?"

She mumbled something under breath.

"Jackie, I can't hear you…"

Jackie gave up all pretenses, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I said after our wedding."

"W-Wedding?" Hyde sputtered in shock. "Don't you think you're getting a bit ahead of yourself?" He eyed the brunette suspiciously. "You don't already have our wedding all planned out too, do you?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" she cried, though her tone made him think she did already have their wedding all planned out.

"I can't believe this," Hyde muttered angrily. "We haven't been back together for a whole day yet, and I already have to deal with this crap." He observed the troublesome brunette. "What the hell was I thinking getting back together with you?" he asked scathingly.

Jackie's eyes flashed dangerously. "What were you thinking?" she angrily spat back. "What were you thinking? I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT, STEVEN HYDE!"

"What are you talking about…Hey! I told you to say the hell away from that!"

Jackie had made a mad dash for her pitchfork and now had the shiny red weapon back in her clutches. She pointed it in his direction and smirked.

Crap.

He held up his hands. "Jackie, don't do anything stupid—"

"Shut up, Steven," she commanded. "You're going to listen to me, and you're going to listen good. You got that?"

Hyde knew a losing battle when he saw one, and he was on the wrong end of the pitchfork. "Yeah, I got that," he responded.

Jackie lowered her pitchfork. Her eyes bored into his intensely. "Steven, you should be thrilled that someone as hot as I am would go through so much trouble to be with you! Everything I did tonight, I did for us…and don't say you didn't want there to be an 'us' because I know you did! I manipulated Donna for us. I kissed a little kid so he would steal Fez's candy for us. I blackmailed Jason into throwing a party and locking us in a basement for us. Heck, I subjected Michael to God knows what for us. You mean so much to me, Steven. Can't you see that?"

Silence.

Jackie slumped her shoulders at Hyde's lack of response to her heated rant and turned away.

Hyde didn't know what to make of everything. Jackie always was trouble. But she had caused a lot of trouble for him. He didn't know if he should be pissed off or what…

"Hey, Jackie…?"

She looked at him with a curious expression. "Yeah…?"

"What the hell happened to Kelso?"

Jackie straightened and twirled her pitchfork wickedly. "Well…"

***FLASHBACK***

Earlier that Evening…

Still Inside the Haunted Mansion

Jackie looked thoughtful. "You know, she might be attractive if her make-up wasn't so terrible. She looked like the living dead!"

Donna looked at the smaller girl in confusion. "Jackie, she's a zombie. She's supposed to look like the living dead."

"Whatever," Jackie said dismissively. "That's no excuse. I'll be right back. I'm going to go talk to her about her make-up routine…"

Jackie ran off after the annoying zombie woman who had so rudely gotten into her face moments ago. After a short sprint down the darks hallways, she found the zombie in question.

"Hey! Zombie with bad make-up! Yeah, I'm talking to you!" she hollered, brandishing her shiny red pitchfork at the woman, who was now glaring at her.

"What do you want?" the zombie woman bitched back.

"I need you to do me a favor," Jackie announced.

The zombie woman eyed Jackie with suspicion. "And why would I do you a favor?"

"Because I can get you something you want," Jackie smirked.

"And what's that?" the zombie woman asked, her voice loaded with skepticism.

"Michael," Jackie answered.

"Who?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Michael. The guy you slapped after he grabbed your butt."

The zombie woman made a face. "I don't want him."

"Yes, you do," Jackie maintained.

"No, I don't. Why would I want that jerk? He starting pawing at me without even asking—"

"Because that pawing got you all hot and bothered," Jackie cut off. Seeing the zombie woman was about to protest, she added, "Don't even think about denying it. I saw the look you gave him. Believe me, I can tell when someone's interested."

The zombie woman appeared distressed. "I'm not interested…" she feebly protested.

A knowing smile appeared on Jackie's face. "He thinks you're hot, you know," Jackie informed her. "I'm not sure why," she added, "You're a major mess with all that ugly make-up you've got on."

The zombie woman glared at her, but looked thoughtful. "Really? He thinks I'm hot?" she asked.

"Uh-huh," Jackie lazily replied as if she had no real interest in the conversation. "So, are you gonna help me or what?"

"What would I have to do?" the zombie woman asked warily. "And how can you get me that guy?"

"Actually, it's all the same thing really," Jackie told her. "I want you to take Michael."

"Take him?"

"Yeah. You know…like, kidnap him."

"Excuse me? You want me to what?"

Jackie sighed in exasperation. "Please. Like kidnap is a big deal." Jackie put a hand on her hip. "Do you know where the fuse box is in the house?"

"I think so…"

Jackie nodded approvingly. "Good. I'm going to lead all of my friends to that room over there." She pointed her pitchfork towards a room down the hallway. "Just turn off the power and then sneak into the room and drag Michael out."

The zombie woman frowned. "But what if he fights back?"

Jackie brandished her pitchfork in a dismissive motion. "He might try, but you can easily overpower him. Trust me."

The zombie woman didn't look like she wanted to trust someone who was dressed like the devil. "How would I know where he is in the room? It'll be pitch-black after I shut the power off."

Jackie thought for a moment. "I know!" she finally exclaimed. "I'll make sure I'm standing to the right of Michael. I'll alert you to where I am so you can take him."

"How will you alert me?"

"Let's see…It has to be something subtle…" Jackie scrunched up her face in concentration before she snapped her fingers. "Got it! Listen carefully. When it comes time for you to kidnap Michael I'm going to yell out 'Michael! Get your hand off my butt!' really loud."

A confused expression took hold of the zombie woman's face. "How is that subtle?"

"Trust me," she said again. "I know Michael. I'm going to be next to him in a dark room. It will be subtle…and necessary."

The zombie woman still looked worried. "What about…Isn't this…" she sputtered uneasily. "How can I force him?"

"Don't worry. Once he finds himself alone with you, he'll be willing," Jackie assured. "So, what do you say? Will you do it?"

Silence.

"Okay…I'll do it."

Jackie smiled brightly at the zombie woman. "Great!" She paused, studying the less-attractive woman. "You know, I could help you with your make-up…"

About ten minutes later, Jackie snapped her compact shut and admired her handiwork. "That's so much better. You don't look like you're dead anymore."

"But I'm supposed to look dead—"

"Whatever," Jackie cut off with disinterest. She looked at the now not-so-ugly zombie woman. "Time for me to get back, and for you to go shut off the power," she announced, turning away.

"Hey!" the zombie woman called. "Aren't you afraid of what I'm going to do to your friend after I kidnap him?"

Jackie turned back. "Nope," she answered easily, without a trace of guilt. "Not my concern. Torture him. Tie him up. Whatever. My concern is elsewhere…"

Jackie was about to leave when a thought struck her. "It might be a good idea to rid Michael of his sword when you kidnap him," she advised.

She then turned and made her way back through the dark hallways...

***END FLASHBACK***

"You had that zombie chick kidnap Kelso?" an astonished Hyde asked.

She nodded.

Hyde fought to keep the grin off his face. "Nice."

Jackie arched an eyebrow. "So, you're not mad about that?"

"Why would I be mad about that?" Hyde responded. "That's one hell of a burn. No, I'm not mad about that." He paused. "If I was going to be mad about anything, it would be that you set this whole night up in order to trap me into another relationship with you."

"Steven, I did not trap—"

"Jackie, I don't want to hear it right now," he broke in. "Right now, I'm just going to entertain myself by thinking of all the ways I can burn Kelso about getting kidnapped by a girl." He folded his arms, a sinister expression overtaking his features.

Jackie smiled weakly. "Alright, Steven," she acquiesced. She then brightened as if a light bulb had gone off above her highly-coiffed head. "Hey! I can provide you with even more burn material! Maybe once I tell you about Eric, you won't be mad—"

"Let me guess. You were the one who kept poking Forman in the dark," Hyde cut off.

She looked up at him in surprise. "How did you know?"

He motioned towards his eyes. "My night-vision is superior to that of a normal person. Remember?"

"Oh yeah…years of non-stop sunglass wearing," she remarked absently. She frowned slightly. "You mean, you could see what I was doing the whole time. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Why would I say anything? I found your torture of Forman highly amusing," Hyde smirked.

"Yeah, Eric is pretty funny when he gets all panicky," Jackie acknowledged. "That wasn't why I did it, though. I knew the best way to get rid of Eric and Donna would be to scare Eric. God, he was so easy. I poked him in the butt with my pitchfork, and he went running like a girl."

Hyde shook his head in disgust. "Forman really should have been born a woman."

"Yeah, and Donna's definitely the man in that relationship. I can't believe they think we're the creepy and unnatural couple…"

Silence.

Jackie apprehensively cleared her throat. "Steven…?"

Hyde groaned. "Yeah…?"

"It's just…I guess you know everything…"

Hyde furrowed his brow. "Actually, there's one thing I don't understand."

"What's that?"

"How the hell did that Jason guy know when we were in the basement to lock us in?" he asked.

Jackie overtook a sheepish expression. "Uh…do you remember the guy with the chainsaw that did the severed head trick?"

"Yeah…"

"When you weren't looking I told him to go find Jason and tell him it was time," she hurriedly explained.

Hyde could not help but be…impressed. "Damn…I underestimated you. You really are an evil mastermind. You've manipulated everything and everyone here tonight to get what you want."

Jackie didn't seem to know how to take Hyde's affirmation. "Steven, tonight wasn't just about what I want—"

"Jackie—"

"No, Steven, let me finish. Tonight wasn't just about what I want. Tonight was about us. Maybe I was deceitful and manipulative, but you know what? I don't regret it, because if I hadn't done all this, then we may have never talked about how we truly felt. I love you, Steven. I never wanted to trap you. If you really don't want to be with me…" She took a deep breath, her voice close to breaking. "If you really don't want to be with me, then I'll let you go. It'll break my heart, but I'll let you go. I just want you to be happy, Steven. So, tell me, what do you really want?"

Having finished pouring her heart out, she looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears. She was waiting for his response…

Silence.

"Steven?"

Silence.

"Steven?"

Hyde remained quiet. He simply stared searchingly into Jackie's eyes, his face giving away nothing.

"Steven," she begged. "Say something"

He held back the urge to speak, watching as Jackie began fidgeting anxiously about in her devil costume. It was as if he was looking for something, but he didn't know what…

"Forman was right," he said finally. "You're the devil."

Jackie's face fell in horror, and she began to plea in desperation. "Steven! You can't be serious! Didn't you hear anything I said at all—"

"I heard you. Your shrilly voice is kind of hard to block out—"

"Then you're not listening close enough, because you don't seem to realize how much I love you—"

"Oh, I realize—"

"I know I haven't always done things right—"

"Jackie, stop talking—"

"But I can change—"

"Jackie, you don't understand—"

"No, you don't understand. I know my faults—"

"Jackie, your piercing voice is giving me a headache—"

"I know I'm a manipulative bitch—"

Hyde sighed, realizing it was his turn to take drastic action for the frustrating brunette. So, he did what he had to do…

"But you can't just throw everything away because I'm a manipulative bitch—"

…He kissed her with everything he had.

It took only a second before she instinctively kissed him back, her pitchfork clattering to the floor.

Caught up in his passionate embrace, Jackie was effectively shut up…momentarily. Once Jackie began to recover from the shock of the situation, however, she began yapping away again. "Steven…I…don't…understand…" she managed between kisses.

Hyde pulled back and looked her square in the eyes. "Jackie, shut your pie-hole."

He barely registered her nod as he pulled her lips toward his once again.

15 minutes later…

Hyde and Jackie pulled apart, both clearly short of breath.

Jackie's eyes fluttered open. "Steven," she moaned breathlessly, "I thought you said I was the devil…"

Hyde smirked at her. "I did say you were the devil," he confirmed, finding her bewildered expression amusing, "but I never said that was a bad thing."

"It's not bad?"

"Oh, it's bad." Hyde grinned suggestively. "Very, very bad. In fact, I think I should punish you for your misdeeds." He pulled her closer, giving her a tight squeeze.

"Steven!" she squealed in partial confusion and partial delight. She pulled away from him. "Be serious! I need to know what's going on! Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"I just made out with you for fifteen minutes. Does it seem like I'm mad at you?" Hyde facetiously responded.

Jackie glared at him, clearly not amused.

He sighed, realizing she wouldn't be pacified until he explained further. "Jackie, I was never really mad at you. If anything, I was mad at myself because I got played by a ninety-five pound former cheerleader." He shrugged. "I'm over it."

"You're over it?" Jackie questioned, sounding skeptical.

"Yeah. Look, the way I see it, tonight hasn't been all bad. Fez had his candy stolen while he was wearing a dress, Kelso was kidnapped by a zombie woman, and Forman disgraced himself in front of Donna because he got poked in the ass with a pitchfork." Hyde beamed at Jackie. "Congratulations. You've successfully managed to humiliate all our friends."

"So…you don't mind that we're currently locked in a basement?"

Hyde rolled his eyes. "It could be worse. While being locked in a basement with no seating isn't my idea of fun, and I don't like the idea that you manipulated me…I guess it was worth it." He rushed out his words at the end, hoping she didn't catch them…

She did.

"Oh, Steven, does that mean you think our relationship was worth it?" she gushed.

Hyde swore under his breath. "Jackie, haven't we had enough sappy discussions this evening?"

Jackie scowled. "Steven, you're ruining the moment." She flipped her hair back and sighed. "Look, I know you're no good at discussing feelings, and I want you to know I appreciate all the effort you've put in tonight. In return, I really will try to be less of a manipulative bitch—"

"Actually, it's okay," Hyde abruptly cut off.

Jackie's lips puckered in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Jackie, you are a manipulative bitch. You can't change that," he stated bluntly. Seeing she was about to protest, he immediately added, "But I'm okay with you being a manipulative bitch. I'd just prefer you be less of a manipulative bitch towards me in the future. Our friends, on the other hand, feel free to manipulate them all you want. In fact, I encourage you to do so."

"Aww, Steven, you're so sweet," Jackie cooed.

Hyde grimaced. "I'm not. Don't ever let anybody hear you say that."

She smiled slightly before she leaned up and kissed him lightly on the lips. "I'm sorry I got us trapped in a basement," she said, lowering herself back down. "It's all Jason's fault! He was supposed to let us out of here!"

"To be fair, you did blackmail him by threatening to out him to his father. You might not be his favorite person," Hyde reasoned.

"What are we going to do?"

Hyde grinned. "I know what we can do."

Jackie frowned. "I thought you said we used up the last of your stash earlier."

"That's not what I was suggesting." He gave her a meaningful look.

"Then what were you suggesting?" she asked in confusion before looking up at him. "Oh!" she exclaimed as realization hit her. She looked about the room. "But there's no furniture down here. I am not doing it on the floor!"

"We don't have to do it on the floor."

"Then where…?"

Hyde's grin grew as he motioned towards the middle of the room.

Jackie's eyes went wide. "Steven, you can't be serious…"

1 hour later…

"Who knew doing it in a casket would be such a turn on?" a now sweaty and naked Hyde remarked as he lay down in one of the caskets located in the middle of the basement with an equally sweaty and naked Jackie lying on his chest. The corpse bride that previously inhabited the casket was now discarded onto the floor.

"Steven, that was dirty and wrong," Jackie stated, looking up at him. "We should do it in coffins more often."

"Maybe we could steal one of these. There are two of them," Hyde suggested. "Do you think it would fit in the van?"

"Not unless we leave without our friends."

"I'm not opposed to that."

"I do have the keys to the van…"

Hyde nodded approvingly at the brunette in his arms. "Jackie, you're so badass." He leaned in and heatedly captured her lips before breaking apart from her. "But then again, so am I…"

As if out of nowhere, Hyde pulled out his sunglasses and put them on. "That's better."

Jackie's jaw dropped. "When did you steal your sunglasses back?"

A sly smile crossed Hyde's lips. "When you were too caught up in other things I was doing in the area you stashed them to notice."

Hyde was pleased to note the blush that rose to Jackie's cheeks. "Steven, you're so bad," she scolded.

"And don't you forget it," he replied. "Of course, I wouldn't have had to resort to carnal diversionary tactics if you hadn't stolen them in the first place."

"Steven, I had to take your sunglasses. Do you know how hard it is to have a serious conversation with you when I can't see what you're thinking?"

"Yes. That's the point."

Jackie scowled at him. "You're naked. Don't you think it's a bit ridiculous to be wearing your sunglasses now?"

"I'm making up for lost time." He suggestively raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying I don't look good naked with sunglasses on?"

Jackie flushed slightly and bit her lip in embarrassment. "No. Of course you look good—"

"Then there's no problem," he stated. "Besides, anything's better than that damn pirate costume," he added, not bothering to hide his loathing for said costume.

Jackie ran a hand seductively down Hyde's chest. "Why? I think you look sexy in it."

"Of course you do. I make anything look sexy," he boasted. "Doesn't change the fact that poufy pirate costumes are best left to men of a different persuasion…or Fez. I don't know what Donna was thinking buying that costume."

Jackie squirmed guiltily in Hyde's arms. "About that…"

***FLASHBACK***

5 days ago…

Somewhere in Point Place

Jackie's platform-clad feet made their way into Harriet's Halloween Costumes & Supplies. The petite girl put a hand on her hip and surveyed the store critically.

"HELLO? ISN'T ANYBODY GOING TO COME WAIT ON ME?" she bellowed in a loud, piercing voice.

A disgruntled-looking fortyish woman with mousy brown hair approached. "No need to be so loud, Miss," she gruffly berated. "I'm Harriet—"

"I don't care who you are," Jackie rudely cut off. She looked the woman up and down. "Are you the owner of this dump?" she asked in an accusing fashion.

The woman Jackie didn't care to know bristled. "Yes, I am. Can I help you look for a costume?"

Jackie scoffed at the notion. "God, no. I ordered my costume from New York ages ago. It's way better quality than any of the crap you sell here."

Harriet abruptly ceased all attempts to be polite. "If you don't want to buy a costume, then what the hell do you want?"

Jackie flashed a big, fake smile at the woman. "I thought you'd never ask," she said cheerfully. "See this?" Jackie lifted the large clothing bag she was carrying. "This is a pirate costume I bought a while back. You see, my friend Donna is going to come in here looking for a costume for a guy named Steven Hyde. What I want you to do is make sure you sell her this pirate costume for him. I don't care what you have to do to make it happen. Hide all of the other men's costumes if you have to."

Harriet's eyes narrowed. "If you didn't see fit to shop here, how do you know your friend will?" the aggravated woman bit back.

"Please. Donna has no taste whatsoever. Of course she'll come here," Jackie answered. "Plus, this is the only Halloween shop in area." Jackie looked at the woman expectantly. "So, you're going to help me?" she asked, though it sounded more like a command.

"No," Harriet vehemently retorted. "I refuse to help some short little brat who won't even shop at my store."

"Really?" Jackie questioned in a dangerous tone. She smirked evilly at the woman. "Tell me. Do you think Point Place police would be interested in checking the green card status of all those foreign workers you have in the back?"

Harriet paled. "I don't know what you're talking about—"

"Let's just give them a call then, shall we?" Jackie suggested, turning to go find a phone.

"Wait!" a panicked Harriet called out.

Jackie turned back to the woman in triumph.

"What does your friend Donna look like?" Harriet asked, looking as if she had just sucked a lemon.

"Big. Tall. Red hair. Gives off a lumberjack vibe. You can't miss her," Jackie answered. She smiled brightly. "I'm so glad you decided to help me. Here's the costume," she said, handing the costume over. "Now, remember, you must sell this costume to Donna. Otherwise, I'm sure the Point Place police will be delighted to hear from me," she warned, sounding surprisingly chipper for having just blackmailed someone.

Jackie's platform-clad feet then made their way out of Harriet's Halloween Costumes & Supplies.

***END FLASHBACK***

"Jackie, I underestimated you…You are undeniably an evil mastermind," Hyde said in awe. "When did that happen?"

"I've always been an evil mastermind, Steven. People just don't realize it cuz I'm so cute." She gave him a would-be innocent expression. "I hope you're not mad about the pirate costume. You're way sexy in it," she purred, clearly trying to appeal to his vanity.

Hyde rolled his eyes. "What made you pick a pirate costume anyway?"

"It reminded me of the guy on the cover of that romance novel Fez is reading. The guy looks like he's about to ravish the woman on the cover. It's so hot."

Hyde stared at her in shock. "You mean you made me into some frou-frou pirate so you could enact some fantasy from a trashy novel?"

Damn. Jackie really is the devil.

"Do you hate the costume that much?" she asked in a small voice, sounding hurt.

Hyde groaned in defeat. "I guess it's not so bad. As long as I get to ravish you," he told her. "Besides, pirates are into death and destruction."

Jackie giggled and looked around the room. "Ugh! It feels like we've been in this basement forever," she whined. Her gaze turned back towards him. "So, what do you want to do now?"

Hyde grinned. "We could do it in the other casket."

Another hour later…

"That settles it. We're taking one of these caskets back with us," a still sweaty and naked Hyde remarked while lying in the other casket. The corpse groom was now discarded on the floor with his corpse bride.

"I know. That was like…the best sex ever," Jackie pronounced in amazement as she draped herself across Hyde's chest.

"Maybe the casket will fit in the van if we stuff Kelso and Fez inside of it," Hyde suggested.

Jackie shrugged. "That could work." She then made to get up from the coffin.

Hyde sat up and grabbed hold of her. "Where are you going?" he hissed in protest.

"I'm getting dressed," she answered, wiggling out of his embrace and exiting the coffin. "It's got to be pretty late. I'm surprised no one has walked in on us yet."

"If they did, they would have seen quite a show," Hyde remarked, lying back down in the casket. "You know, I can't believe you planned this whole elaborate scheme just to get back together with me," he commented.

"Yeah, well, you're worth it."

"Right," Hyde scoffed in disbelief.

"Steven, I know you have trouble believing that a beautiful, smart, and talented woman like me would go through so much for you, but you are worth it."

How the hell does she always know the right thing to say?

Hyde abruptly sat up in the coffin to look at the little devil. "Jackie, I…" The words died on his lips. Jackie had not gotten herself dressed in that hot devil costume of hers…

"Jackie, why are you wearing a wedding dress?"

She at least had the sense to look slightly embarrassed. "I couldn't help it! Such a beautiful wedding dress was such a waste on that ugly plastic skeleton!" she childishly defended.

Hyde eyed her with purpose, not saying a word…

Jackie shifted under his gaze. "Steven?" she asked apprehensively.

He got out of the coffin he was sitting in and began to slowly make his way towards her…

"You're not mad, are you?"

He continued to stalk towards her…

"Look, I promise I'm not going to try and trap you into marriage this time—"

Her words were cut off by his mouth on hers. He fervently attacked her lips with his, and she instantly surrendered to the onslaught. Jackie and Hyde were both so caught up in each other's embrace, they failed to notice anything going on around them…

…such as the basement door swinging open.

"Oh my God! Jackie! I'm so sorry!" Jackie's Romeo-clad accomplice, Jason, exclaimed as he entered, presumably apologizing for locking them in the basement so long.

A naked Hyde and a wedding dress adorned Jackie jumped apart in surprise.

"Jason!" a shocked Jackie gasped.

"OH MY GOD! JACKIE! I'M SO SORRY!" Jason exclaimed again, presumably apologizing for walking in on them in such a…creepy and unnatural state.

Quickly overcoming her sense of modesty, Jackie scowled at the intruder. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING LEAVING US DOWN HERE SO LONG?" she hollered.

Jason shrank back from her loud, piercing voice. "I'm sorry," he emphasized. "But I ended up running into your hot ex-boyfriend, Michael," he explained. "I saved him from being molested by some zombie woman at the party. Then, of course, I felt the need to comfort him over the whole ordeal. You know, that guy is as dumb as a rock, but he's one fine piece of—"

"In other words, you left us down here to rot while you hit on Kelso," Hyde interjected angrily. "I should kick your ass."

The man-loving Romeo's attention was now on Hyde. "Are you sure you want to do that in your current state?" he asked suggestively. His eyes were on the lower half of Hyde's body. "Jackie, you're a lucky girl. I see now why you went for him over the pretty boy."

Hyde looked down. He was still naked. Crap.

Panicking, he searched the ground for an immediate source of coverage. He found it…in the form of his large, obnoxious pirate hat. Covering himself, he raged, "Listen, Romeo, I'd get the hell out of here if I were you! If I see you once I get my clothes on, I'll kick your ass! You're already overdue for an ass-kicking for going along with Jackie's harebrained scheme to trap me in the first place!"

The color drained from Jason's face. He turned to Jackie accusingly. "You told him?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, I've never been very good at keeping secrets from Steven anyway."

Jason gulped nervously. "You're not going to kill me, are you?"

Despite being completely naked except for a pirate hat covering his privates, Hyde managed to look menacing. "Do you want to stick around and find out?" he asked in a dangerous tone.

"No. I'll be going," Jason weakly responded. He then addressed Jackie. "So, we're good, right? I kept my part of the deal. You're not going to tell my dad about my…uh…preferences, are you?"

"Nah, we're good." Jackie shrugged again. "Until I need another favor…"

Jason looked disgruntled but took that as his cue to leave.

"Make sure you leave the door unlocked!" Hyde barked as Jason made his exit. He turned to Jackie. "Let's get dressed and get the hell out of this god-forsaken basement!"

Jackie didn't move. Hyde noticed she was staring at him with a hungry expression. "Steven, that was so hot the way you yelled at Jason."

Hyde groaned. If they kept this up, they were never gonna get out of the damn basement…

He gave her a sharp look. "Jackie—"

"Alright, I'm getting dressed!" she squeaked.

As she began to get dressed, a thought suddenly occurred to Hyde. "Jackie, where are the keys to the van?"

"Why?"

"Because there's no way in hell I'm letting you drive after you nearly killed us all on the way over here." He held out his hand in anticipation for the keys.

"Ugh! That was Eric's fault!" she exclaimed defensively as she reluctantly handed him the keys. "If he hadn't been such an ass, I wouldn't have gotten so angry and lost control of the van!"

"Lost control? Jackie, you purposely swerved the van so hard we almost tipped over."

"Whatever," she huffed in aggravation. "You know, if Eric had half a brain, he would have kept his big mouth shut. He knows I could tell Donna what really happened to their silverware set."

"I thought someone stole it from their apartment?"

"That's just the lame cover-up story Eric told Donna," Jackie revealed with a sly smile. "Eric actually sold the silverware to go buy Star Wars figurines."

"Jackie, do you have blackmail on everyone?" he couldn't help but ask.

She nodded casually. "Pretty much."

"That's so badass." He then grabbed her by the back of the neck and yanked her upwards to join her lips with his, dropping his pirate hat in the process.

"Steven," Jackie gasped, trying and failing to loosen herself from his hold. "We…should…get…going," she panted through his passionate kisses.

He grasped her tighter.

With surprising strength for such a little person, she retched herself away from him. "Steven!" she scolded.

Hyde was not happy. "Hey! I was about to ravish you! Again!"

"I thought you wanted to go!"

"I changed my mind. Now I want to ravish you."

"Steven, I have my own apartment now. You can ravish me all you want when we get back to Point Place," she offered, causing Hyde to grin in agreement.

Hyde watched as Jackie stripped off the wedding gown to change back into her devil costume and swallowed. He'd never felt so…so…

"Jackie, we're taking that wedding dress with us."

10 minutes later…

Outside the Haunted Mansion

Hyde was once again dressed as a pirate (much to Hyde's dismay), while Jackie was once again dressed as a hot devil (much to Hyde's delight) as they made their way to the deserted van.

"Looks like those idiots we call friends have yet to make it back," Hyde observed. "Maybe Kelso killed everyone with his sword…"

"Do you care?" Jackie asked in a tone that conveyed she did not care.

"Nope."

Hyde glanced in the direction of the party next to the haunted mansion. "We never did make it to the party. Too late now. All the free booze is probably gone."

"Do you care?" Jackie asked again.

"Nope," he repeated. "The party we had back in the casket was way better than free booze."

Jackie smiled sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes at him. "Aww, Steven…"

Suddenly a loud ruckus came from the direction of the party. In the distance they heard, "KELSO! PUT YOUR SWORD AWAY BEFORE YOU KILL US ALL!"

"But Donna! I was making a 'Z' in the air! You know, for Zorro!" whined what was undeniably Kelso's voice. The gleam of a sword slashing through the air could then be seen.

"KELSO! IF YOU DON'T PUT DOWN THE SWORD I'M GONNA MAKE A 'Z' ON YOUR ASS!"

"Donna, I had no idea you were so kinky," they heard Fez inappropriately comment.

Hyde shook head. "Here comes the merry band of knuckleheads now," he commented to Jackie as Eric, Donna, Kelso, and Fez approached them.

"Well, if it isn't Ginger and Gilligan," Hyde greeted, pleased when his friends all looked startled to see him, "It seems you found Zorro and the Chiquita Banana."

"Hyde!" Eric called out with wide eyes. "Yeah, we found Kelso and Fez at the par…" He suddenly trailed off. "What are you and...uh…Jackie doing here?" He twitched slightly as if he was nervous. He then added, "And for the last time, I'm the Professor."

"What you do think we're doing here?" Jackie rudely responded. "We were waiting for you morons to show up so we can go home."

"Exactly." Hyde nodded his head in agreement. "And Forman, give it up. You're not the Professor. You gave up all rights to being the Professor when you ran from the haunted mansion like a pansy."

"I did not run like a pansy! Something poked my butt! I think it was a ghost—"

"Eric, please. We've been over this. It was not a ghost," Donna broke in, sounding exasperated, "and you did run off like a pansy."

Eric eyebrows rose in shock. "Donna! I thought we agreed that it was just a momentary lapse in judgment on my part!"

Donna folded her arms. "Really? I thought we agreed you were being an ass again and that you should try harder to refrain from being an ass in the future."

"Yes, but I'm telling you, there was an evil presence poking my butt…"

Jackie and Hyde gave each other a knowing look. One that said, "Man, our friends are morons."

As Donna and Eric argued, Hyde turned his attention to another moronic friend. "Kelso, man, I'm surprised you haven't poked your eye out yet."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Kelso asked in genuine confusion. "I'll have you know I am perfectly capable of wielding a sword." Kelso then attempted to demonstrate his capability by slashing his sword about recklessly.

Fez dropped to the ground to avoid being sliced, his flowery headpiece bearing the brunt of Kelso's sword. "Bastard! That matched my flamenco dress! In my country we would take you out back and put you down like a rapid dog for this!"

Hyde had enough once the sword narrowly missed his ear. "KELSO! DROP THE SWORD!" he barked, frogging him on the arm.

"Ow! Damn, Hyde, you're almost as violent as that zombie chick," he pouted, rubbing his arm.

"Serves you right, you sonofabitch. You almost killed me!" Fez yelled as he got back to his feet.

Kelso ignored Fez, a stupid grin appearing on his face. He eagerly turned to Hyde and Jackie. "Hey! You'll never guess what happened! I got kidnapped by the HOT zombie woman!" he announced proudly.

Hyde stared at him stoically, as if he'd never heard this information before. "Really?"

Kelso nodded in excitement. "Yeah, she pulled me out of that dark room, took my sword, and strapped me to another one of those gill-a-things—"

"Guillotine, Michael," Jackie corrected.

"Whatever, you know I'm not good with words," he dismissed. "Anyway, she strapped me down to one of those…things and had her wicked way with me. And I think you all know what I mean when I say that, right guys?" He looked meaningfully at Hyde and Jackie.

They stared back at him with bored expressions.

"I'm talking about SEX! I had SEX with the zombie woman!" Kelso unnecessarily clarified.

Hyde remained non-pulsed. "Yeah, I got that, man."

Fez whined loudly. "Kelso, I already heard all your disturbing sex details. Must you continue to rub it in my face that you are getting sex while poor Fez gets none?" he lamented.

"Sorry, little buddy," Kelso said, putting a comforting hand on Fez's shoulder, "but Jackie and Hyde here have yet to hear about my latest sexual conquest. Who am I to deprive them of that pleasure?"

Jackie was quick to protest. "That's okay, Michael. I really have no interest in your sleazy sex life—"

"Oh, you'll want to hear this," he cut off. "After the zombie woman stole my sword and tied me up, she threatened to stab me if I didn't do as I was told." He paused, a stupidly pleased expression on his face. "You know, it was kind of hard to get off on that gill-a-thing. Especially when that big knife thing was right above my head. But that just shows you how good I am…"

Kelso then went on to describe his disturbing encounter with such detail, it made Jackie gag…

"Michael! That's sick!"

It took Hyde a moment to realize his mouth was slightly open in shock and disgust. "That sounds…"

"Amazing! I know!" Kelso exclaimed enthusiastically.

Hyde shrugged. "I was going to say demented, but whatever works for you, man."

"Alas! If only I had a zombie woman who would tie me to a guillotine, force me into submission, and do sick and demented things to me," Fez sighed, a dreamy expression on his face.

Jackie looked between Kelso and Fez in alarm. "Steven, do we have to take them back to Point Place with us?" she asked quietly.

Hyde cocked his head to the side. "I do have the keys the van…"

As Jackie and Hyde considered leaving their friends behind, Eric and Donna ceased their arguing…

"Hyde, I see you got your sunglasses back," Eric commented. He gave Hyde a closer look. "You know, you look kind of like you got into a fight. Your pirate costume's all rumpled and haphazard-looking." His gaze trailed from Hyde to Jackie. "Jackie! You look kind of rumpled too. Your hair is…not perfect. You two didn't get into a fight, did you?"

"Yeah, Jackie doesn't look like she spent half the night staring into a mirror fixing her hair. In fact, her hair's all messed up," Donna observed, suspicion creeping into her voice.

"Donna, you're talking crazy," Jackie insisted, nervously fingering her hair. "I'm…trying something new. Yeah, that's it. The messed up look. I saw it in Vogue last week!"

Hyde nodded in agreement. "Yeah, and I always look I got into a fight. Probably because I just did. Nothing new here."

Eric dramatically rubbed his chin. "Methinks their hiding something," he loudly whispered to Donna.

"Oh, their definitely hiding something," Donna agreed. She pointed towards Jackie. "Look! Jackie's not only uncharacteristically messy! She's all glow-y!" She paused in thought. "You know, you two look like you just had…OH MY GOD! YOU JUST HAD SEX!"

Hyde couldn't help but find Donna's loud exclamation annoying. "You might want to say that a bit louder," he remarked. "I don't think everyone back in Point Place heard you."

"Jackie and Hyde just had sex?" Kelso stupidly questioned. "With who?"

Donna rolled her eyes. "Each other, you moron."

"You mean Hyde got to do it with Jackie in that HOT devil costume? Damn! I wanted to do it with her in that costume!"

"No! This can't be happening!" cried an anguished Eric. "You said there was nothing between you two!"

Hyde shrugged. "Things change."

Eric continued to voice his dissent. "But can't you see it's a bad idea to renew your unholy alliance with THE DEVIL?"

Jackie shot him a deadly look. "Shut up Eric, or I'll beat you with my pitch fork!"

"And she would too," Hyde added, sounding pleased.

Eric shook his head in disgust as Fez morphed his face into and anguished expression. "Jackie, how could go you directly from me to Hyde?" Fez whined. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather be with me than Hyde? Because my pride can handle sloppy seconds…"

Jackie scrunched up her face. "Eew. Fez, no—"

"Of course she doesn't want to be with you, little buddy," Kelso butt in. "Jackie wants to be with a real man. Like me. What I don't understand is why she's with Hyde." He turned to address Jackie. "Jackie, since you look so HOT in that devil costume, I'm willing to overlook that you did it with Hyde if you let me do it with you in that costume…Ow! Hyde! What'd you hit me for?"

Hyde glared at him. "You stay away from her! The only person who is going do it with her in that costume is me!"

"Wait," Donna commanded, putting a stop to the bickering. She motioned between Jackie and Hyde. "Does this mean you two are back together?" she asked.

Moment of truth…

Hyde looked down to see Jackie looking up at him, biting her lip nervously. He sighed, swinging his arm around her. "Yep," he confirmed, winking at Jackie as she beamed at him.

Eric groaned in protest. "But she's the devil. Don't you know your fornicating with the devil?"

Hyde glowered at his fidgety friend. "So what? We got locked in a basement, got back together, and had sex," he said matter-of-factly. He gave Eric a meaningful look. "That's what happens when two people get locked in a basement all night because their friends abandoned them to go to a party."

"We didn't abandon you!" Eric insisted. At Hyde's menacing stare, he instantly caved. "Well, uh, we kind of did. But we meant to come back for you! Really."

"Thanks, Forman. I'm really feeling the love," Hyde stated dryly.

"Really, Hyde, we did mean to come back and look for you," Donna chimed in guiltily, "but everything just seemed to go wrong…"

"Yes. I spent my whole evening chasing that little sonofabitch who stole my candy," Fez bitterly griped.

"Yeah, Eric and I had to stop Fez from strangling him once he got his candy bag back," Donna added.

"That's because there was NO CANDY in my candy bag! It was no longer a candy bag! It was JUST A BAG!" Fez complained, waving around the empty bag with no candy. A hard look overtook his features. "If I see that candy-stealing bastard again, he will know the wrath of Fez!"

"Fez, he's just a kid," Donna pointed out.

"He stole my candy," Fez stated accusingly. "In my country, stealing candy is an adult crime. He better hope he never crosses paths with Fez again…"

"Man, you think you have problems," Kelso complained. "I was getting hot and heavy with the zombie woman at the party. We were just about to do it. You know, for the second time, when this guy dressed as Romeo came up and chased her away!" Kelso looked outraged at the memory. "And the party just went downhill from there," he continued, "That Romeo guy tried to grab my crouch and some little kid kept throwing candy at me!"

"Me too," Eric piped up in agreement. He received strange looks from the rest of the gang. "Not the guy grabbing my crouch problem," he instantly corrected, "The little kid throwing candy at me problem."

Fez looked indignant. "And did neither of you selfish bastards think about saving that candy?" he asked bitterly, glowering at his two friends. "That was MY candy that little sonofabitch was throwing at you!"

Eric seemed taken aback. "Fez, I'm sorry—"

"It's too late," Fez snapped, turning his head away.

Kelso patted Fez on the shoulder. "C'mon little buddy—"

"I said it's TOO LATE! There is NO CANDY in the bag!"

Eric and Kelso instantly backed away from their pissed-off foreign friend.

Donna rolled her eyes. "See? You guys should be thankful you weren't at the party," she said to Hyde and Jackie.

"Yeah, I'd say Jackie and I made out better in the basement," Hyde commented. "Speaking of which…Kelso, Fez, how would you two feel about getting a good look at the inside of a coffin?"

As always, Kelso looked confused. "But I'm not dead yet," he stupidly pointed out, "…and I'm far too good-looking to die."

Hyde sighed. "Look, don't worry about it. You and Chiquita Banana just get in the van and wait for the rest of us."

"I'm a flamenco dancer," Fez corrected.

Hyde gave him a blank stare. "Does it matter? Either way you're dressed like a girl. Now go get in the van."

Fez bristled at the command but seemed to ponder it over. "I would like to go sit in the van," he admitted, "You have no idea how much my feet hurt after chasing that candy-stealing bastard all night in high-heels." He turned. "Let's go, Kelso."

"Hold on, man. Check this out. I just about mastered the 'Z' with my sword!" Kelso announced.

The rest of the gang quickly recognized the life-threatening nature of the situation…

"Man, listen to me when I say that's not a good idea—"

"Kelso, I meant it when I said I would put a 'Z' on your ass—"

"Ai! What do I have live for anyway? All my candy is gone—"

"Moron, you're going to poke your eye out—"

"Michael, I'll hit you with my pitchfork—"

Ignoring all protests, Kelso began carelessly swiping his sword through the air, causing the rest of the gang to duck and cover in fear for their lives…

"Man! Why doesn't anybody ever listen to me?"

"Kelso! I am so gonna put a 'Z' on your ass!"

"Ai! I want to live! I can always get more candy!"

"Moron! If you don't poke your eye out, I will!"

"Michael! I'm gonna hit you with my pitchfork!"

Kelso seemed blissfully ignorant to his friends' plight. "Guys, I know perfectly well how to handle a sword…OW! MY EYE!"

"I knew it was only a matter of time," Hyde remarked.

Fez shook his head. "Kelso, you ignorant fool," he chided. "C'mon, let's get you in the van where you can be contained."

"Dude, I'm BLIND! I'm REALLY blind this time!" Kelso whined as Fez guided him into the van…

"And we've now been left alone with the unholy alliance," Eric commented to Donna as he nodded towards Hyde and Jackie. "It's like Jackie is Darth Vader—"

"Eric, don't start on the Star Wars analogies," Donna warned.

"But it's like she's trying to turn us all to the dark side—"

"Eric, did you forget what we talked about in the van? It's none of our business." Donna sounded peeved.

"You can't tell me you support this abomination?" Eric asked in an accusing manner.

"Actually, I do," she stated defiantly. Cutting off Eric's protest, "Can you honestly tell me that you don't think their good for each other? Don't you think they were both…less extreme when they were together?"

"I…" Eric seemed at a loss for words.

Donna regarded Eric with a smug expression.

Eric shook his head and pointed at Jackie. "Her demonic powers are affecting our ability to see reason!"

"Ugh! Enough of Eric's crazy talk! I'm ready to go!" Jackie exclaimed. "C'mon, Donna, let's get in the van. I'm freezing in this costume!"

Donna arched an eyebrow. "Why didn't you bring a coat since you were wearing such a revealing costume?"

"Because then there would be no point in wearing such a revealing costume in the first place!"

Donna rolled her eyes at the shorter girl as she followed her to the van.

"We're all doomed to the dark side," noted Eric.

Hyde ignored his fidgety friend as he watched Jackie and Donna retreat into the van. "By the way," he heard Donna address Jackie, "How come you're holding a wedding dress?"

Hyde smirked as he thought about the things he planned to do to Jackie in that wedding dress. Soon.

"C'mon, Forman, time to get the hell back to Point Place—"

"Wait. Who's driving the van?" Eric suddenly asked, a note of alarm in his voice.

"Me."

Eric instantly expelled the breath he was holding. "Oh, thank God. I don't think I could take anymore of Jackie's satanic driving."

Hyde's eyes narrowed. "Forman, you need to lay off. She's my girlfriend. Nothing's going to change that."

"I know. I just wish she was less evil—"

"Can it, Forman," Hyde ordered, though he had a feeling his friend would not can it. He decided to change tactics. "So, you have fun playing with those Star Wars figurines you sold the silverware for?" he asked casually.

Eric's eyes widened. "I-I…I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"Really? So I'm sure you won't mind if I ask Donna if you've gotten any new figurines recently?"

Eric gave up the act. "They're action figures. Not Figurines. Action Figures. And they were special edition, one of a kind—"

"Forman, save it for someone who actually cares. Like Donna."

Eric instantly began to twitch and fidget about. "Are you going tell Donna?" he asked in that panicky, girly voice of his.

"Not today." Hyde grinned evilly. "Probably not tomorrow. But I might someday. Unless, of course, you can offer me a good reason to keep my mouth shut. Like you keeping your mouth shut about Jackie."

Eric glared at him. "How did you find out?"

"How do you think?" He motioned towards Jackie.

At that moment, Jackie came back out of the van and turned to them with one hand on her hip, the other aggressively brandishing her pitchfork. "Eric, stop chattering away like a girl and get your scrawny ass in the van," she commanded.

Her gaze shifted and softened as it landed on Hyde. "Baby, the sooner we leave, the sooner we get to Point Place and you can ravish me."

"Be right there, doll," Hyde called back.

Jackie smiled and winked in response, twirling her pitchfork girlishly.

Eric's expression turned grim. "She's the devil," he gravely pronounced.

"Yeah, she is the devil," Hyde agreed as if it was the best thing in the world.

Ignoring Eric's befuddled expression, he left to follow after his devil…

Fin

A/N: Congratulations if you had the attention span to read through this entire story! Seriously, though, I want you to know I really appreciate it if you took the time to thoroughly read this. I hope you enjoyed it!

So…now you know. Jackie's the devil and her evil plan to bag Hyde worked. All is right in the world of That '70s Show!

Thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated!