Foreword: Hmmm, seems as if a lot of people got fooled by the earlier story description. You've got to be more trusting, you guys... Or am I just too mischievous to predict? *Shrugs* Anyway—
*Grins* The insanity continues, and there's a reason this fic's been rated M. Consider yourself warned.
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is owned by the Legendary Hiro Mashima.
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…Romance for a Day…
Why did it become so twisted?
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*coughs*
Now, where were we?
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*scratches head*
Oh, right!
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—twenty minutes later—
(At a familiar bakeshop)
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Our story continues inside an interestingly, very familiar bakeshop of sorts. From the outside, it was your normal pastry shop; a wide glass pane fronted the small but cozy building, its transparent surface revealing the magnificent and delicious array of cakes and other sweets on display. From the inside, it was as ordinary as it could ever be. How? It had the things, furniture and other not so important stuff that defined bakeries: Cakes, sweets, tables, pastries, cakes, customers, bakers, cakes…etc, etc. But what made the bakeshop very familiar, however, was the presence of a plump, middle-aged man wearing a baker's outfit, who was continuously teasing the customers and guests with his boisterous speech and super weird smile. (Know who he is? Read the prequel!)
Twenty minutes saw our troublesome duo sitting inside, on a no-need-to-remember table for two, near a window facing the main street of Magnolia. With their comfortable seats facing opposite each others, Natsu Dragneel cautiously peered at the silver-haired female in front of him—his date, or to be exact—fake lover (Nisekoi!). Mirajane Strauss was looking over the menu with an amused smile on her face, her dainty fingers going up and down the laminated paper which held the names of desserts and sweets available. Beside her sat the fluffy, adorable-looking pink teddy bear the Dragonslayer had won (during the timeskip) for her. As if feeling the familiar stare, she gently placed the menu down and returned his glance with one from curiosity.
"Something wrong?"
"Nah…just thinking how nice the atmosphere is." He replied after leaning a bit back. They shared the silence of the moment…a silence spurned by the lack of a certain topic to talk about. Truthfully, he was bored out of his mind once again. After contemplating for minutes about whether he should eavesdrop on people—again or not, the pinkette settled for glaring hard at certain man's crop of hair in a vain effort to have it spontaneously combust using his pyrokinetic powers…
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Too bad it didn't happen.
Natsu sighed for the umpteenth (more like, eighth…if you're counting the previous chapter) time, the lack of fun finally irking him and nearly driving him nuts.
"Come on! Please, just make something happen!" He thought aloud…Before glaring hard at the wooden ceiling.
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*Sighs* Fine.
*Snaps fingers* Open, Gate of the Bread Maker: Unnamed plump middle-aged baker dude, I summon thee!
"Aha! It's Natsu-kun and… Mira-chan?" Right on cue, the "Unnamed plump middle-aged baker dude" appeared out of nowhere. The fire mage choked on…dry air (lol), due to the suddenness of the event, but the pretty barmaid in front of him simply let out a wry grin, as if expecting the newcomer.
After all—this was his bakery. That was to be expected.
"Won't Kagura-chan get angry at you?" The middle-aged man teased, but after having overcome the unexpected appearance, Natsu simply rolled his eyes. Mirajane, on the other hand had enough waiting. She placed the menu down as softly as she could, and masked the annoyance of a very late service with a convincing demeanor.
"I'd like a slice of red velvet cake and a strawberry parfait, please." She requested with a smile; one which was returned as kindly by the baker. The latter turned to the bored pinkette, who didn't even look at the menu.
"…meat." He barked, his voice muffled by the scarf he had pressed his face onto.
"How many times do I have to tell you—we only serve pastries." The baker deadpanned, as if stating the obvious. To this, the Dragonslayer pouted…before going on a mini-tantrum…before said tantrum turned into a real tantrum…before he was effectively controlled by the devious maiden with a single glare.
"Aw, come on oji! Can't you do something about it? I did help you out last Valentine's." He voiced out half-pleadingly…
The older man sighed (for the first time!) before he finally conceded.
"Fine… I'll see what I can do." He left for the kitchen immediately after seeing the pinkette do a fist pump. Having seen the exchange between both men, the devious female propped a hand on the glass table, before resting her face on it.
"Natsu~"
"Hmm?"
"You come here often?" She asked, taking note of the familiarity the two men shared with each other. Being the smart woman that she was, it wasn't hard to come to the conclusion that her supposed boyfriend was a regular.
"…Kagura likes it here. She always gets a discount on chocolate cakes and stuff…and oji's quite fond of her as well." Natsu answered without a moment's hesitation, and she nodded once to affirm his reply.
"Hmmm~ Hey Natsu, can I ask you a question?"
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*Laughs* you just asked him one Mira…
*Sees Mira fixing a death glare* Okay, I'm shutting up.
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"What is it?"
"Do you like Kagura?" The question was straight…and knowing how idiotic and stupid the guy was, she half-expected him to answer as such. It didn't even take him a moment; the question simply wasn't on a head-scratching-brain-wracking level for the (stupid) pinkette.
"Geez, why does everyone keep asking that?! Of course I like her!" Satisfied with the equally straight and surprisingly un-idiotic answer, the silver-haired maiden smiled weakly…but Natsu, being Natsu and everything…had to add—
"—After all, I like everyone! Lucy, Lisanna, Erza, Gramps, Happy, and Wendy…and I hate to admit it, but even Gajeel, Gray and Laxus!"
...Mira inevitably had a reason to facepalm now.
"I'm beginning to understand Kagura now…you're really quite dense and tactless, you know?" But he kept on blabbering and blabbering about stuff he liked—fights, food, sleep, fire…etc, etc—until—
"...And I like you too Mira." He concluded earnestly. Having heard this simple, but unexpected statement…what could she do?
Mirajane Strauss' pretty face turned a bright shade of pink.
"…So dense."
…
—Five minutes and two milliseconds later—
…
The sound of silverware and ceramic plates clashing against each other was the only thing which remained in the dissonant background, as the mounds of food and entrées disappeared into the black hole known as the Salamander's belly, and the stacks of used plates piled up to the sky (exaggeration—ceiling, I mean).
"Gghwap, thith stuffths gooff! Aye hwondeh whifh ogee dothent juff maghe thith bagheree a resthoranth—" Natsu's voice was muffled by the roasted beef he was stuffing his face into, but in the presence of a lady…that was clearly a no-no.
After standing up, Mira leaned towards him, but Natsu was dead sure it wasn't because she wanted to expose those fleshy orbs which were (thank God!) suppressed by lacy…undergarments, inside her dress. (*Blushes* Oh my…)
After choking at the…wonderful sight, the oblivious but still hungry Dragonslayer looked up…and started shaking like crazy. The amused but ticked Take-Over mage raised her eyebrows after seeing this very untimely reaction.
"What? I haven't even said anything yet!" She complained…Seriously, she wasn't that scary now, was she?
"Y-You're gonna scold me, aren't you?" Natsu asked after some swallowing. His experiences with dining…no, eating together with girls nearly always had something to do with ending on his backside and his body having accumulated tons of hurt…and the mystery behind it totally befuddled his puny brain. Erza had made it a point to bash his brains whenever he ate normally with her (normal being eating non-stop, stuffing-your-face-out-until-your-cheeks-have-bloated-hardcore and proceeding to speak the satisfaction of having enjoyed a scrumptious meal while your mouth's still full.)
She stopped her sentence after seeing the troubled Salamander arguing with his thoughts, and proceeded to sit down after breathing a sigh (since I've lost count, let's make this the…third?). Her next motion caught the Dragonslayer's attention, prompting him to look over and smile—seems like he won't get scolded after all.
"Just don't talk while you're eating—It's bad manners." She stated gently.
"Mira, you're an angel…"
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*Chuckles* Oh really…? Let's see if you'll still think like that later. *Smirks*
"Whadaya mean?" He asked mentally, but the voice disappeared like the wind…Mira on the other hand was showing a cute pout—apparently, she had heard the short conversation.
"Geez~ Don't talk as if I'm a powerful, evil being or something."
"Powerful, evil being huh?" The pinkette contemplated after a sip of cola.
…
—At the same time—
(Somewhere in Magnolia)
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"Achoo! Ugh…" Erza Scarlet was a second too late in covering her mouth. The sudden sneeze caught the attention of her two teammates, who looked over to see what was wrong.
"You okay?" Lucy asked after handing her a handkerchief, but she simply shook her head.
"Someone's thinking blasphemous things about me."
…
—At the same, same time—
(On a Train to Magnolia)
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"Ai—fwe!" Kagura Mikazuchi covered her mouth after a cute sneeze unbefitting her stoic demeanor. Luckily, no one was around to witness it. (Except I!)
"Why do I get the feeling that someone's referring to me without knowing it?"
…
—At the same, same…same time—
(Somewhere at the edge of the time/space continuum)
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"Achoo!" After wiping away the stray snot which landed on his laptop's screen, a young writer hastily searched for the nearest tissue paper he could find.
"Here ya go Blake!" He looked back to the screen, for an outstretched hand had magically appeared, carrying a tissue roll. He could see the features of a second dimensional girl with short blue hair and a small but rather cute face behind it.
"I needed that…Thanks A*****…"
"Can I come out now? Pleease~" The girl pleaded adorably, but the writer was unfazed.
"No~ I'm saving you for another story."
…
—Another Five minutes and two milliseconds later—
(Back to the Earthland(ly) Plane—erm, Bakery)
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"Crap, this stuff's good! I wonder why oji doesn't just make this bakery a restaurant—"
"You already said that."
"I was trying to make a point, so I said it twice."
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*Nods* Yeah, besides…the first one was barely recog—
*Sees another glare* fine…why can't I talk in my own story?
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A typical conversation after a typical meal. After Natsu finished the last of his roasted beef, he emptied out his third glass of juice and leaned back to pat his super (albeit comically) bloated excuse of a stomach. Satisfied, he closed his eyes to do some thinking.
"The skin was a bit overdone, but the meat—man, what a fine texture…That sauce, I wonder what was in it? Some Rosemary maybe? Perhaps a bit of Thyme? Those spices were—"
*Frowns* Oi, this isn't a cooking fic, so move on.
"Who the hell do you think is giving me these lines?" He countered (*gasps*) smartly.
*Stares* You know, you're actually making sense…So I'll admit defeat by shutting up.
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"Why are you glaring at the ceiling?" Mira's worried voice broke him off of his stupor. He turned to face her, before blandly pointing out—
"Hey, you did it twice before me… besides—that guy's really pissing me off."
The silver-haired maiden casually shrugged, and the duo silently agreed to ignore the rather annoying voice from now. Mirajane opened her purse and took something from inside, then gestured for the pinkette to lean over. Curious, he complied…and the pretty barmaid wiped away the stray crumbs, sauces and stains on Natsu's face. (Hint—there was a lot.)
"Thanks mom." Natsu joked, before a spine-tingling chill made him shiver. In front of him, he could see the female smiling sweetly…in a you-shouldn't-have-said-that-cuz-it-actually-pissed-me-off manner.
"Mom? Oh my, do I really look that old to you? I'm still a fresh nineteen-year old, you know…" He swallowed hard after regretting the slip up. He raised his face heavenward with a desperate look saying—
"SAVE ME!" Luckily (Through some intervention of sorts), the Unnamed plump middle-aged baker dude arrived with the bill.
"You two look really close. What's your relationship with Natsu-kun, Mira-chan?" The man asked after Natsu sadly bid farewell to a month's worth of saving…being the (*quote Elfman*) MAN!—and all, he was obligated to pay.
"Natsu's my lover." She proclaimed brazenly, before boldly grabbing the pinkette's hand, who quickly averted his blushing face from the baker's gaze. Said baker was raising his eyebrows due to the…interesting news.
"I thought Kagura-chan was Natsu-kun's—" He started, but was soon cut off. The customers were staring at the people gathered, especially the couple sitting in the no-need-to-remember table.
"That Kagura's really pissing me off. She's always hanging around with Natsu and everything, now people are getting the wrong idea." She muttered darkly, a menacing aura which halted all questions surrounding her.
"Eep!" Screamed Natsu.
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Screamed the baker.
"MEN!" Screamed a…somewhat significant bandaged passer-by, accompanied by his three bandaged friends. (Spoiler—it was the Trimens. Scout duty if you're asking.)
"Crap." Muttered everyone else, before turning away and minding their businesses.
"I-I-I think a c-customer's calling me!" The baker dude bowed before excusing himself quickly. Satisfied with the reaction, the devious female reverted back to her kind form.
"Something wrong?" She asked, feigning ignorance.
"M-Mira, y-you're scaring everyone." Natsu replied, before leaning even closer to whisper—
"I thought we were only going to fool our friends?"
She stood up from her seat and moved over to sit beside him. The small but comfortable cushion chair was big enough for two, and the lack of space didn't bother him as much. When he looked again, she was giving him the put-your-arm-around-me look.
"And I thought I told you we're playing a prank on everyone?" She whispered back after he rested his arm on her back. He had no idea why she specifically asked him to do this now of all times, but reckoned it was part of the plan. (Dumbass)
"I did tell you that this'd be the ultimate prank, didn't I?" She added after leaning her head on his shoulder.
Natsu took the silence as a chance to have another glance at her face…
"She really is pretty." He mused.
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It was then that he had a revelation.
"Hmmm? Now that I think about it, I really don't know much about Mira."
Memories surfaced in his mind…Memories too many to be mentioned, or even write, but the gist of it was—Natsu barely knew Mira. He wasn't as close to the oldest Strauss compared to the youngest one. Though she looked a lot like his childhood friend Lisanna, Mira was sort of hard to read. She was mysterious, cunning, and was nearly always thinking of ways to either make the ultimate cake recipe or put you down through some devious means, or maybe even both—by baking the ultimate cake using the recipe and put you down with it…
He had never been too keen on getting close to her during his childhood, considering Mira had dubbed him as part of "Erza's Group", after which she had been so intent on teasing him endlessly. After the two years that Lisanna went missing, she had drastically changed, and this change had endeared him into getting to know her better…However, he had never succeeded in going beyond a simple caring friendship with her…
And it was there and then that he resolved to get closer to her, by utilizing this "fake" date to strengthen their bond.
"Yeah, a date can solve everything." He nodded at the idea, remembering his experience with a specific Sword mage.
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Oh man, if only he knew that said Sword mage was riding her way back to him in order to check his loyalty…
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"So, what should we go next? Movies (They were currently showing Harvey Pothead and the Poisonous Azz-Kaboom, the third of seven movies, focused on a young mage named Harvey's journey to remove smells with spells), park or what?" He offered, and the beautiful female was taken by surprise. She was already alarmed at his composure during their entire date, and to think he now had the confidence to try and lead her to the day's events…
Mira suddenly blew her cheeks and started whining.
"Aw~ now that you're treating this like a real date, I really wanna go! But, Natsu—can I ask you for a favor?"
Natsu Dragneel raised his eyebrows at the sudden request.
…
—three minutes, and twenty-nine seconds later—
(Back with Erza)
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After having spent countless (No, twenty-five) minutes of hectic organizing and searching, Erza Scarlet and the rest of her guildmates finally found the whereabouts of the two, only for them to start moving again. The viewing lacrima in front of her was showing a visible image of the duo making their way out of the familiar bakery and heading towards somewhere she knew not. To finish it off, they were once again being lovey-dovey, by leaning on each other and holding hands…
"Natsu, I swear…Kagura's going to have your head…"
"They're leaving… I wonder where they're going next?" Lucy voiced out, while Gray…was still in the act of searching for his clothes.
Man, this is getting nowhere…
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*Whistles* Oi~
"What? Don't bother me—I'm looking for my clothes!" The naked mage shouted towards no one in particular. Actually, he didn't even know where the voice was coming from…because his clothes had to take precedence over everything.
*Shakes head* You left them in the guild.
"WHAT?! That's impossible! They always appear after the next scene—" He reasoned, suddenly realizing the oddity of the entire situation. The brunette looked around for the speaker, but he could only find his two female teammates on the side.
*Thinks* You know what? Scratch that—I've erased the existence of your clothes. You'll be naked for the entire duration of the story.
He gazed at the sky, and could've sworn that the clouds were forming a rather unique shape—of a face blowing a raspberry towards him.
"What kind of Sorcery is this?!"
*Shrugs* A powerful one I bet.
"You—" Frost gathered in his hands, but—
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WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!
"YEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!"
"GRAY!" the naked Ice mage nursed his new bump while he glared at the familiar redhead beside him.
"What?!"
"Why the hell are you shouting?!"
"That guy stole my clothes!" He pointed a finger to the skies. Erza's face turned into a puzzled one, before morphing into a deep frown due to extreme you've-gone-crazy bewilderment…before releasing a knowing look, as if she understood everything.
She shook her head to get rid of the unnecessary thoughts, and barked (but she's not a puppy~) her next orders.
"Have the Exceed team trail the targets."
"Roger." Warren answered via telepathy, before the link was cut off.
Lucy Heartfilia walked over towards the armored mage, her wide hips swaying together with her…other remarkable assets.
"Hey Erza, what's the point in all this? Why are we doing this again?" She asked doubtfully. Now that she thought about it, there was simply no reason as to what their objective was and what they were trying to achieve, apart from finding out that the stupid Natsu and the pretty Mirajane were supposedly going out, even though Natsu already had a girl named Kagura…therefore making this a two-timing case against the pinkette.
"We're trying to confirm if Mira and Natsu are really going out." Erza replied straightly, but Lucy wasn't convinced at all. Sure, that was the goal…but really, the question was why?
"Yeah, but doesn't this make it clear?" The blonde referred to the date, before adding—
"Besides, what's the big deal anyway? If they are lovers, shouldn't we just accept that and wish them the best?"
Erza's stern look gave her goosebumps.
"That is it, Lucy. If they are lovers, then I really think Natsu's gonna be dead soon. You don't want Natsu to die, do you?"
Simple logic if you asked. Lucy shook her head, vaguely coming to grips with the "Natsu's gonna be dead soon" part.
"Besides, I think Mira's up to no good, and the breeze has been very mischievous lately. I will find the truth about everything—as a Fairy Tail mage."
…
—At the same time—
(Somewhere else…in Magnolia)
(Scratch that—Magnolia Park)
…
One, two…O dear, we're short five heads.
"What the hell are those guys doing?!" Minerva Orland was standing in the middle of Magnolia Park; both of her arms were crossed under her gigan—sizeable bosom, and the rigorous tapping of her left foot proved that she was indeed…horribly pissed. She looked to the left, seeing a bunch of people too unimportant to mention staring at her. She looked to the right, where her eyes met another group as unimportant as the previous one. A look to the front granted her a glimpse of her guildmate—Yukino Aguria. The white-haired female had a troubled look on her face, and hesitantly—she regarded the impatient woman in front of her.
"Umm…Orga-san has gone over to do some Karaoke, and he's taken Rufus-san with him. Sting-san and Lector are eating in a nearby restaurant…and Rogue-san took Frosch in order to go sightseeing."
"Those idiots…Why now of all times?!" The (evil-looking, trying-to-act-beautiful, funny eyebrows) mage stamped her foot in annoyance. There and then, the (unimportant) people of Magnolia stopped by to witness her having a tantrum of sorts. After a certain number of minutes too cumbersome to write in detail, she finally calmed down. Yukino, being the kind girl that she was, brought her some water to drink.
"Why are you after Natsu-sama anyway? I swear…If you try to hurt him, I'll fight even if it's you Minerva-sama!" She declared boldly, but Minerva simply smiled mischievously.
"My, I won't fight him… I'm gonna force him to kiss me."
"…!"
She faced the afternoon sky, where the clouds were rolling peacefully, and the wind was blowing whimsically.
"A gentle breeze told me something really interesting…"
…
—Fifteen minutes and two seconds later—
(In front of a certain room…situated in a certain hotel)
…
"Hello? It's Mira, is someone inside?" After the brief (yes, that was brief) timeskip, our troublesome duo were now situated in—*points two lines up* Mirajane was knocking on the door with minimal force, while Natsu stood beside her; his foot knocking on something too—the floor. His impatience was clearly visible, seeing as they had spent the last five minutes outside waiting for someone to open the door, or at least acknowledge their presence.
After a while, the door slowly opened…but Natsu didn't expect a woman to open it—a woman who was seemingly fresh out of the bath, and who only had a towel on to cover her important womanly parts. Her wavy, blond hair was sticking to her face due to its wetness, and the strong smell of shampoo and herbs assaulted his nose enough to drive away the lingering smell of coffee from the surroundings.
It was Blue Pegasus' Jenny Realight…but what was she doing in Magnolia?
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*Stares*
*Smiles innocently* Really, what was she doing here?
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"Mira! So, you received my message…thanks for coming." The blond gave Mira one of those challenging smiles which people reserved for their rivals, and she returned it with one of her own. After the exchange, Jenny noticed the male, and tilted her head in obvious confusion.
"Oh, if it isn't Natsu Dragneel-kun. What's he doing here?" She regarded the spiky-haired teen, who was looking at her impassively. For some reason, she was irked by his lack of interest in her top-notch-covered-only-by-a-damn-towel-fresh-out-of-the-bath-and-dripping-wet-you-should've-been-drooling-by-now body, so she made an act of picking something on the floor in order to give him a glimpse of her cleavage, and when she stood straight again—
"Hmm, now that I think about it…I reckon I've seen you before." Was his only response. He thought long and hard, before moving closer and inspecting her flustered face.
"You could at least blush…It's a feast for the eyes, is it not?" She remarked coldly, but Natsu shook his head.
"Not really. I've already seen you naked in the Daimatou Enbu anyway, so you in a towel isn't really a surprise." He concluded with a nod, before returning to Mira's side. The latter was covering her mouth due to amusement, while the woman in question was having a problem hiding her obvious annoyance.
"He agreed to help me, right Natsu?" The silver-haired maiden smiled sweetly at his direction, and he moved closer to her, before placing an arm over her shoulder.
"Anything for you, babe." Hearing this, Jenny's face dropped—the shock was enough to make her forget her earlier ire. She squinted her eyes and knotted her brows, before looking at the duo back and forth. When she finally had enough, she shook her head and welcomed them in. Natsu started pacing all over the room, searching for things to interest him.
"You're dating the Salamander?" The blond whispered while she closed the door; her skepticism earning Mira's hidden amusement. On the other hand, the only male in the room had somehow found Jenny's secret stash of naughty underwear. He raised it up for Mira to see, mouthing—
"It's got holes!"—with mild amusement. After a slap to the back of the head by his supposed date, and a brief scolding about underwear designs by the owner, Natsu finally settled on the couch with a bored expression on his face.
"No, we've already gone past that. He's my lover. You got a problem with that?" Mira continued from where they left off.
"W-What—I mean, yeah…he's hot and everything, but I heard he's quite dense…how'd you get him to even like you?" She asked in a low voice, but the barmaid simply replied with a smile.
"That's why I'm better than you Jenny. I can even make dumb guys like Natsu love me back."
…
—at the same time—
(Somewhere outside the…certain hotel)
…
"Why the hell are they in a love hotel?!" Erza's dumbfounded voice was heard by everyone. The shocking news quickly spread like wildfire to those who were involved in the "guild activity"…but truly, this was a very sudden, and maybe even grave event.
"What should we do Erza?" She heard different voices speaking out their doubts, worries and insecurities—but like them, she had no idea what was going on behind the devious she-demon's mind.
"Tch. That sneaky Mira—what is she planning to do with Natsu?!"
"Obviously, since it's a love hotel—"
"SHUT UP! There has to be a reason! Even if it's Mira, this is too far!" She stated doubtfully.
"Erza, Erza—."
"What is it Warren?!"
"Bickslow has managed to gain access to the room by possessing some objects with his magic. We'll be able to hear anything inside it. I'll link the dolls' sense of hearing with my telepathy. Freed has also set runes in the area; sounds from inside will be filtered for the neighboring rooms."
"Good job everyone—"
"Also, I've confirmed what they're after. The room they're in is currently rented by Jenny Realight of Blue Pegasus."
She no longer had any room for shock and confusion in her head…and she already knew who was to be blamed by the sudden event. (*Coughs*) Right now, she had to focus on what really mattered, and that was…what the hell was happening in that very room?
"I see…Now, we just need to find out what they're going to do."
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Hmmm…Now that I think about it—
*Whistles* Psst~
Erza Scarlet looked around, trying to find the source of the nagging sound. Gray and Lucy looked at each other after seeing the redhead act oddly, but they simply shrugged it off and minded their own businesses. Out of options, she shook her head once and fixed her brown eyes at the peaceful sky.
"Hmmm? Oh, it's you…What do you want?" She asked tenaciously.
*Raises eyebrows* You shouldn't eavesdrop on people, you know?
"Says the guy who can hear everything, just because he's the main culprit behind it all…" She remarked coldly…Ugh, you're so heartless, Erza-sama~
Touché…Hmm, but really—from where you're standing now, you shouldn't listen to the following conversation.
"You saying that just made me more curious…I appreciate you going out of your way to tell me this, but please—if you interfere, I swear I'll cut you into tiny ribbons." The feared Titania stated with finality, and seeing as she wasn't going to be convinced no matter what, what could I do?
*Sighs* Harsh…Well anyway, don't say I didn't warn you~
And the voice trailed away, eventually fading into nothingness. Feeling the presence disappear, she clenched her fingers tightly, awaiting further news.
"The link's up! Everyone, please focus—"
Erza closed her eyes and focused on the sounds her mind could perceive. After the painful buzzing of what seemed like feedback had faded, she could hear various noises of furniture being moved and feet shuffling inside. Using her mind's eye, she imagined the entire scene appearing together with the voices in her head.
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"I heard you're very good with these kinds of things, Salamander." She heard a female voice—Jenny's perhaps.
"Call me Natsu—and no, I just learned the basics from Mira." It was Natsu's voice this time, followed by a hum which most likely came from Mirajane.
"Hmmm…Oh my, you're so modest darling."
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"DARLING?!" Wakaba cried out in disbelief, before he was shushed out.
"Shh, shut up!"
"When did they—" Macao tried asking, but he was shushed out like Wakaba.
"Shut up, or I'll cut you off from the link!" Warren threatened.
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"Well anyway, here, I'll show you—" Erza could hear some sort of object dropping to the ground, and judging from the soft and light sound it made, she figured they may have been clothes…
"Wait…clothes?"
Yes, clothes.
"W-Whoa! It's swelling—" Natsu's shocked voice ringed in her ears, and by now…she, like her namesake, started turning scarlet; because by now, she had a very vivid idea of what was going on.
"I got it because of a really physical job…Help me out, would you?" Jenny whined, after which she (Erza) heard a pause. A sudden creak told her that the female had moved to another spot, and a brief shifting of furniture meant that she had sat down.
"S-So…what do you want me to do?" Natsu asked nervously, his footsteps drawing nearer to where Jenny was. Erza's heart was beating fast—too fast. She could see what was happening even though she wasn't there, because after all, she had read about these situations in her…smutty novels.
"Just rub it for now…" This simple but profound statement confirmed her fears.
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"B…B…BBWHAAAT?!" Max spat out, followed by several gasps of shock from his guildmates.
"RUB IT? RUB WHAAAAAAAAT?!"
"I said SHUT UP!"
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"Ye—aah~ that's it… that's the spot, Natsu~" She couldn't stop the thick blush from spreading across her face, venturing down her neck and even covering the surface of her ears. Jenny's moans were the only sounds that she could hear, and her mind had inevitably showed her a very clear picture of what was going on…
"N—No! Natsu's—"
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"You really are stiff…" She could almost see the pinkette's rough hands going…to certain places and poking very certain parts.
"Mmm…y-you're hands, they're very—Aah~…they're very good."
"Really?" She heard Natsu's innocent question, despite the loud and sensual moans permeating the dissonant background. If it weren't for Freed's runes, she could've sworn that the entire town would've heard the pants and gasps for air coming from the blonde.
"Y-You haven't done this before? You're a natura—kyaaah~"
"You alright? I only pushed it with my thumb…"
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"EEEEEHHHHHH?! WHAT THE HELL DID HE PUUUUUUSH?!"
"THAT THING IS NOT A DOORBELL, YOU DUMBA—"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She yelled mentally towards her accomplices…seriously, these guys get too worked up over tiny details. But if she had to be honest with herself, Erza Scarlet realized that the armor she wore was suddenly getting uncomfortable—too uncomfortable…and way too hot and stuffy.
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"Don't ignore this down here…that's where it really throbs, you know?"
"You mean here—"
"AAH~! D-Don't suddenly probe it with your finger, you meanie~" Jenny whined, and if it was even possible, Erza's face turned a deeper shade of crimson. She looked to her left, and was somehow relieved to see that Lucy was in the same state. Though, unlike her—her eyes were but mere spirals, and she was putting her hands over her skirt, muttering—
"N-No…Don't put it there…"
To her right, she saw a still-naked Gray facing away from the group, and like Lucy; muttering things under his breath.
"No—why do I have to be naked now of all times?! What if they see it?! AARGH!"
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However, things didn't stop there. The moans got louder and she nearly forgot the other occupant of the room, until—
"Why don't you lay down, Jenny? It'll help you." It was a suggestion from Mira this time, followed by another pause.
"T-That's a great idea…come on, Natsu~" Jenny voiced out, her breathlessness from earlier still intact. Another shifting of various furniture and footsteps came, and the noises trailed to another part of the room.
"Wanna do it here Natsu~? The bed's big enough for the two of us." Erza was amazed at the openness coming from the blonde's voice. It was as if the two had known each other for quite some time, though she presumed it was entirely because of the opening act earlier.
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"Wait…Did she say bed?" Another mental voice broke out, but truthfully…she was relieved at the sudden interruption. Anymore, and she might just start getting wet—
"S-S-Shut up, you d-dumbass!"
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The flustered statement was actually aimed at a different person (*coughs*), but nevertheless, everybody heard it.
…Didn't stop them from talking though.
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"Well duh! Mira did ask her to lie dow—wait a minute, I know where this is going!" Ignoring her, someone answered the first inquiry.
"I think we all know where this is going." Someone answered back to the one who just answered back.
"U-Umm, I-I don't know—w-what's going on?" Erza heard a timid female voice asking the one who had answered back to the one who had answered back, with the hope of being answered back…(Lost, aren't you? So am I!) one that she did not expect to become involved in the conversation.
"Eh—Wendy?! Are you listening to this?!" She asked in turn, disbelieving her ears. Before the girl could answer, Warren was already making an excuse to save his sorry ass.
"E-E-Erza! You told me to link it to everyone!"
"EVERYONE?!" She asked again for confirmation. A gulp from Warren told her that he wasn't lying. But like the spine tingling yet pleasure induced voices, it didn't stop there.
"Why are they making loud sounds?" It was a childish male voice, one belonging to—
"ROMEO?! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU—" She recognized Macao's voice, but that wasn't the worst part.
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"It's the same kind of sounds Mama and Papa make every night!"
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"A-Asuka-chan?"Erza asked hopelessly, the words dying in her mouth.
"YOUR MAMA AND PAPA DO IT EVERY NIGHT?!" Everyone else yelled, and finally…she had enough.
"WARREN—Why the hell did you link the conversation to children?!"
"I'm not a chi—" Romeo tried, but Erza had already made a very significant point…And nobody could do anything about it anymore.
"Sorry kids…you're too young for this."
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Things got even worse than what was presumed to be the worst when another voice appeared and joined in on the fun.
"MWAHAHAHAHA—GO NATSU! GO AND MAKE ME SOME GRANDCHILDREN!" The elderly voice obviously belonged to Makarov Dreyar, Fairy Tail's Master…but Erza was not amused at all.
"WHAT THE HELL?! WHY ARE YOU IN THE LINK, MASTER?!—"
"AAAAAAHHHH! NATSU'S MAKING GRANDCHILDREN?! WOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!" And yet another voice popped in, one belonging to—
"HAPPY?! WHY ARE YOU—"
"I DIDN'T KNOW YOU MAKE GRANDCHILDREN THAT WAY! LUCY~" Happy called childishly.
"WHAT IS IT CAT?!"
"Come on now~ give us a moan…That way, you'll get a grandchild as fat as you."
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"This is one messed up event." Someone too insignificant to name muttered.
"Let's make the most of it though. This'll be my only line in the story." Someone equally insignificant answered back.
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"GO NATSU! GO, GO, GO—FOR THE FUTURE OF FAIRY TAIL!"
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Those were the Master's last words, before he was immediately cut off.
Luckily for the eavesdroppers, there was a brief pause during the time they had their chat, and after Warren successfully disconnected the "kids" plus Happy, and kicked the Master from the link, the conversation inside the room proceeded smoothly.
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"Hmm? Anywhere's fine if you ask me." Natsu stated flatly, and Erza could only shake her head at his cluelessness.
"Hey, don't get too comfortable with each other." Mira warned the duo, after which the eavesdroppers heard something creak. The obvious shifting of weight meant that someone had finally gotten on top of the bed.
They confirmed it as Jenny when she said—
"What are you waiting for? Get on top—"
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"GET ON TOP?! WHAT THE HELL—ARE THEY REALLY DOING IT?!" In the midst of the chaos, the next few lines went unheard.
"I KNEW IT! I KNEW THEY WERE—"
"FOR THE LAST TIME, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Erza's patience was wearing thin by now…the sudden comments were distracting her from finding out (*chuckles* more like, enjoying) what was going to happen next. She, like everyone, was highly anticipating what was to come.
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"Be gentle, all right? This is the first time a guy's done it."
"Sure." Natsu's assuring reply was followed by another creak. They could hear the cushion shifting, after which—another pause followed. She waited with bated breath…All of them did.
"A…Ah…"
"How is it?" Natsu finally asked after what seemed like minutes, but Jenny—
"H-Hard…P-Painful…stop—"
"I shouldn't. The pain will go away faster if I keep moving." Natsu's voice was firm, and his composure truly astounded the Titania…if only this would have been a different situation, then she could have praised her pink-haired teammate…sadly…
"eh—? Don—aah~! yes…aah~ C-Come on, a bit faster~"
"Like this?"
"Yeah~, that's the spot Natsu~" Every time she heard Jenny moan Natsu's name, she couldn't help but shiver. Her armor was getting way too uncomfortable now, and when she finally had enough—Lucy and Gray were surprised to see her Requip into her Flight Armor. To spare them the pain, they decided to keep their mouths shut and returned their focus to the sounds.
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"You look like your enjoying yourself." Mira suddenly voiced out in a teasing manner.
"This is actually quite fun...but Jenny's making really weird noises." Natsu stated blandly.
"B…But that's because it feels so…so damn good! Ye~ahh…Let me borrow him sometimes Mi—AAHH~ not there, Natsu~!" Jenny screamed, and Erza presumed that the male had hit a very sensitive spot.
"Eh?"
"You've got to pay attention, Natsu. Anyway, No—I'm not letting you borrow him; he's mine." Mira stated sternly.
"Tch. Then I guess I'll have to make use of this time to its fullest. Natsu~"
"Hmm?"
"Push harder—"
"Like this?"
"AAH! You're too rough! AAH~!"
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"I don't think I'll be able to sleep after this."
"That fucking punk…" The comments had returned, and just when she was about to reprimand them for distracting her once more—
"Erza! This is bad!" She heard Freed call, and the urgency caught her attention, as well as everyone else's.
"WHAT IS IT?!"
"Bickslow's losing consciousness! Bickslow, hold on man!"
"…Natsu…you've gone and done it, you bastard…As much as I enjoy it, I can't take it anymore...I'm happy for you—" Bickslow's voice was one from exhaustion and deprivation of energy…but if this keeps up, his magic would disperse and the link would be no more. Static was starting to kick in, and the voices were slowly fading.
"He's not gonna last!"
"Sorry…everyone. The sounds are too good; they're driving me too sleep..." Bickslow apologized softly, but contrary to what was happening, the moans had gotten louder once more.
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"He—hey, don't slow down either—aah~ Yeah, that's it… Just keep up that pace."
"Man, I didn't think it'd be tiring." Natsu remarked after Jenny, after which Mira broke in—
"Oh, don't say that—you'll be doing me next after all."
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"…Hahaha—That's it." Bickslow muttered, and the connection from the room was cut off.
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"WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENS AFTER?!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
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"What the hell just happened?!" Gray shouted while he physically wracked his brains, demanding an answer (and a continuation) to what had transpired inside the room. Erza was still hung up on the entire scene, and it took her a full two minutes to realize that Lucy was calling her.
"Erza—Erza!"
"H—uh? O-Oh Lucy, w-what's wrong?"
"We really have to ask them about this…I'm afraid Natsu and Mira are in a deeper relationship than we presumed."
…
—Forty-one minutes, seven seconds and fifty-three milliseconds later—
(At the certain hotel—In front of Jenny's room)
…
Erza hastily rapped the door using her gauntlet-clad knuckles. Gray and Lucy were standing behind her; the former, naked as promised—
"I suddenly feel the urge to freeze somebody."
And the latter, as red faced as she had been…However, now that she had managed to hear such an act being done, she contemplated on using her new found knowledge as references for her smutty novel—
"You know, I feel that we're being made fun of…in a way that we don't know."
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Back to the main point—Erza knocking on the door. After five minutes, there wasn't even a single sign of someone coming to open it. She tried calling inside, but nobody answered her. Finally, just when she was about to summon a (big-ass) sword to slice the door, it suddenly went ajar; revealing the formally-dressed Natsu inside. His clothes were there, intact and they were on him…unlike Gray's and contrary to their presumptions. The only thing which they found off about the Dragonslayer was the insane amount of sweat on his body—an amount insane enough to drench both his scarf and his black clothing to the very core. That—and the strong smell of herbs which seemed to be emanating from the man himself.
"…Ye—oh, it's just you guys." He regarded them with little interest, before letting them in.
"Huh, you're awfully red Erza—" Surprisingly, that was the first thing he noticed. It was surprising because of two things—one, Lucy was as red as Erza, save for her hair…so the unusual combination of blonde locks and red face should've stood out more. Second—Gray was naked…plus he too was glowing red—truly, if one didn't notice that first, he/she would've been either blind, or a total idiot.
Well, seeing as this is Natsu…Anyway—
The pinkette moved closer to inspect his armored friend, but she had grabbed his scarf and pinned him to the wall in one fluid move. Startled by the sudden assault, he could only raise his hands as Erza tried her best to not act flustered…but failed miserably either way.
"W-W-What the hell were you guys d-d-doing?!" She screamed directly at his ears…his oversensitive ears…and therefore nearly deafened him.
They heard a door open and close, before—
"What's wrong—oh, it's just you guys. Will you please refrain from making noises? Jenny's sleeping in the other room." The silver-haired demon came to Natsu's rescue. The three newcomers looked at her with eyes full of disbelief—she looked perfectly fine from what they could gather, beautiful even…no, she was glowing. The ethereal glow she gave off was something so otherworldly, that the sun's rays would pale in comparison...
Okay, kidding…but you get the point.
"Wait…Glowing?" The redhead thought with mild curiosity.
"Glowing…post-coital effects?" And the blonde immediately started gathering notes…
"Glowing…Aah, I can't look! She's so damn beautiful! I'm unworthy, Mira!" The brunette confessed his unworthiness mentally while he covered his eyes from the radiance.
The three noted in turns, but interestingly; like the fire mage before her, Mira gave off a very strong herbal scent. Erza turned to regard the Take-over mage; her hands still on Natsu's scarf, who was unluckily…still pinned on the wall.
"What the hell were you thinking Mirajane?! Dragging Natsu here and making him engage in d-d-dirty acts! I will not allow it!" She turned to Natsu, whose eyes, mouth (and nostrils) were opened wide due to obvious fear.
"I will not allow you to continue your relationship with her!"
"But—" He started…
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Natsu uses Reasoning!
The attack didn't have any effect.
Erza's turn: Erza uses Glare!
It's super effective!
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And Natsu was effectively silenced. Mira however, didn't like the flow of the conversation. She brushed past Lucy and Gray, and stopped right next to Erza. Despite their difference in height, Mira looked up towards her rival's eyes with a challenging glare of her own.
"Who the hell do you think you are to decide things like that?" The barmaid asked gently, but her words were laced with poison.
"I…I—I am Natsu's…Natsu's…am Natsu's—" Lucy and Gray could hardly believe their eyes—Erza was stuttering over and over again, unsure of what to answer…hesitant over the small matter. The woman in question had taken the question very seriously, and when her mind gave up on her—
"It doesn't matter! Natsu—"
"Y-Yes?!"
"What did she ask you to do?! Tell me!"
The pinkette grimaced, before putting on a thinking posture despite the position he was currently in. The other occupants of the room stood there, staring at him for what seemed like minutes. He scratched his head after sometime, and replied dumbly—
"Hmmm…some stuff I guess?"
"BE SPECIFIC, DAMMIT!"
"A-AYE! Mira brought me here to help Jenny out!" He confessed, both hands in front of his terrified face. Erza had pulled back her right hand and aimed her clenched fist on him.
"Help out…how?"
The (stupid) Dragonslayer thought for a moment, before replying.
"W-Well…Jenny said that she was feeling stiff, so asked me to touch her in specific parts…"
"SPECIFIC PARTS?!" Lucy yelled together with Gray, before the duo looked at each other, before they both looked back to the confused pinkette and shouted once more—
"SPECIFIC PARTS?!" Natsu shrugged and continued his explanation.
"J-Jenny told me she liked it, and she laid down so I could start doing it properly."
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"Oh my…" Mirajane Strauss covered her mouth with mild amusement, because the stupid idiot—her stupid idiot was spouting very vague and double-sided lines…lines which eventually happened to become misunderstood by the newcomers. Judging from the look on their faces, Mira realized that the members of team Natsu, save for the supposed leader, were rather jittery and flushed, which meant that—
"Mr. Narrator?" She looked above and focused.
*Stops laughing perversely, before regarding the female* Hehehe…Hmm…yeah?
"Why are you giving him easily misunderstood lines?"
*Thinks hard*…It's called plot development, plus it's fun that way... You got a problem with it?
Mira looked back towards the team, and in that very moment—her devilish side kicked in. Being the devious she-demon the she was, had been, and is currently now…she grinned wryly at the chance of furthering her plan faster.
"…If it'll help with the plan, then I don't mind." She smiled heavenward one more time, before looking sternly in what was to be taken as a you-can-shut-up-now expression.
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On Natsu's side, things were getting more complicated. No, more like—the pinkette was making them more complicated with his very vague statements.
"Afterwards, Jenny told me to do it harder…and she lost consciousness after I was finished with her. Man, if you saw the look on her face—Erza?" Natsu's eyes landed on his jailer's incandescent face. Hell yeah, it was glowing red, and he could almost swear that if he touched it, he'd be burned despite his constitution as a fire mage.
Gray and Lucy still haven't recovered from the earlier shock, by the way.
"SPECIFIC PARTS?!" Gray shrieked out of the blue.
"SPECIFIC PARTS!" Lucy replied as sudden as Gray had.
"SPECIFIC PARTS?!" Another girly shriek from Gray.
"SPECIFIC PARTS!" And another nonsensical line from Lucy. This went on for quite some time, and since it would be a drag to keep repeating this…
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*Picks up a (Magical) remote, before pointing said remote to the two, before hitting mute*
"….?!" Gray mouthed.
"…..!" Lucy mouthed.
"…..?!" Gray mouthed, shocked at his sudden voicelessness.
"…!~*#" Lucy mouthed, before finally giving up.
Yeah, that's better. Onto the story!
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"…then—What happened next?!" The three, on the other hand, haven't been too keen on taking the conversation elsewhere. While the other members were trying to find a remedy to the lack of sound, Erza and Natsu had been continuing the discussion without care for their teammates' dilemma.
"Well, it was Mira's turn I guess. She laid down while Jenny was sleeping, and I did the same process with her—what's wrong…? You guys look as if you've witnessed the end of the world or something." Natsu looked to the two, who were pointing to their throats and making gestures of being without sound, but he disregarded them and set his sights back to the stoic faced Titania.
"…so you really did do it."
"Yeah! It was my first time too—and man, was it tiring!" He stated enthusiastically, and finally…finally, Erza let him go. He rubbed his sore neck and fixed his scarf, before releasing a heavy sigh.
It was the ninth one…
"So…you didn't know what you were doing?" Erza asked one last time to a still-clueless Natsu, who gave away a very Natsu-like, hence straight but stupid answer.
"Uhh, I was helping them out….? Did I do something wrong?"
Erza's head snapped towards the silent Mirajane. The neck breaking speed at which she did the feat was no joke, and if only she wasn't Erza, her neck would've been dislocated by now.
"MIRAJANE!" A glow of light, and a sword magically appeared out of nowhere. The armored mage grabbed the floating sword as soon as it was summoned, and pointed its wickedly sharp edge towards the she-devil. She raised it high above, her look torn beyond anger, but Natsu stood in the way. He stretched his arms to the side, his face devoid of any hesitation or fear.
"Erza's gone crazy!" He had to protect Mira at all costs…Especially from a crazy Titania.
"MOVE OUT OF THE WAY NATSU! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S DONE TO YOU?!"
"What?" He was taken aback by the sudden question. Without lowering the sword, Erza pointed a steel-covered finger towards the devious female behind him.
"You've corrupted him Mira!"
"Corrupted me? What's she saying Mira?!" But the barmaid actually had the audacity to laugh, and to make matters worse—
"So what? He's my lover anyway—I can do what I want with him!" She jumped and embraced Natsu from the back. Erza's focus was disrupted after seeing the…rather flirty act. The silver-haired female was running her hands all over Natsu, and said male wasn't fighting back at all! The only thing he could do was look to the side in order to hide his embarrassment. Finally, Erza resumed her poise, but—
"It's you who has a problem Erza—why don't you mind your own business?! Or are you jealous—Ah, I see. You're jealous because I've beaten you by making the idiotic Natsu—"
"—Hey!"
"—first; fall for me, and second…progressed deeper with me! Even though you guys have been that close since you were kids, I've done it! I'm taking away your bond and making Natsu mine!" She rested her chin on the Dragonslayer's shoulder, before leaning in closer to whisper something to him.
Her words had an obvious impact, because Erza lost her steel for a brief moment.
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"…?!"
"….!"
Oh yeah, Gray and Lucy were still muted by the way.
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At her patience's breaking point, the infamous redhead gritted her teeth and steeled her eyes once more.
"You're way too cocky Mira! As if I'd lose to you just because of that! Natsu and I go way back—"
"Oh—really? How about this then…Natsu~"
"Yeah?"
"Who do you think is better between us?" Mira suddenly stuck her face to his, and his cheeks flared red for a moment. He had never experienced this kind of zero-barrier distance with someone. It was too close for him! To close I tell ya, and his mind couldn't catch up to the new experience. His eyes went wide when he suddenly felt his earlobe being pulled away—not by fingers, but by some slightly sharp objects. Erza's eyes went wider than his, because she could see a clear view of the obscene act from her perspective.
Mira was sensually biting Natsu's earlobe—something she had never seen before, only read at…where else? Her smut books, of course. She could see her rival nipping the part, tugging it with her teeth, and using her tongue to tease it endlessly…and my lord, she was good.
Just ask Natsu.
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"M-M-Mira? W-Why are you e-eating me?" Natsu whispered, genuinely horrified.
"Say that line!" Mira whispered back after tugging the fleshy part one last time.
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"Aha-haha! Of course it's you Mira. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't think so."
Mirajane Strauss smirked, victory at hand. Erza's sword dropped to the ground together with her resolve—for the declaration had unexpectedly devastated her; she had trusted Natsu to choose their long-time friendship against his new-found love interest…
And Natsu—Natsu felt like he was going to get stabbed…not once, not twice…not even thrice…but perhaps four, times two hundred thousand—times, due to the line he blatantly said.
"Natsu…I can't believe you—just because you're with Mira…and I thought…" Erza muttered dejectedly, and behind her, Lucy and Gray were shaking their heads as if saying—
"You shouldn't have said that."
"She must've taken it hard."
"She trusted you."
"You chose Mira over her."
"You're gonna die"
"Don't bother dying—you're already dead."
"It was nice knowing you, Natsu…"
Again, as if saying—cuz then again, they couldn't use their voices right now. But the message got across him, and he instantly regretted those words. Despite the prank he was trying to pull on them all, and in spite of this being a purely random story, Natsu realized that he couldn't just cut his bonds with his friends just because of a stupid lie.
"Wai—" However, the Take-Over mage wasn't thinking along those lines…so she stopped him from ruining everything by pinching the nearest part she could grab—his chest…he yelped, but it was because Mira had pinched his right nipple instead.
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"OOOOOOUUUUCH! IT HURTS! IT FUCKING HURTS!"
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"There you have it, so would you please excuse us? Natsu and I have a date to—" Mira started after she had secured Natsu's hand, but Erza—
"You're the cause of this, Mirajane."
"Hmmm?"
A monstrous red aura materialized behind her, carrying a force of 999,999 gigawats behind—scratch those last seven words—and the force behind it was no mere joke. Gray and Lucy's voicelessness vanished because of the magic power she was letting out, and they finally…found their voices. (Duh!)
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*Smirks, surprised* Whoa! Did. Not. See. That. Coming.
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"Natsu's changing because of you! I was already pissed when he stopped hanging out with us because of Kagura, and now you—you changed Natsu! I'm killing you!" Another flash of light, and she had requipped into (a Mobile Suit…GN-0000/7S 00 Gundam Seven Sword…!) her Heaven's Wheel Armor.
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Uh…wrong requip Erza! Bring out the Seven Swords Suit!
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"Dance, my blades!" Disregarding the nagging voice, she summoned her swords and aimed them at the duo. Natsu took the initiative—the initiative to get the hell away from the scary woman, and after grabbing Mira, he jumped off from the window as the blades sailed overhead and nearly skewered him.
"Mira, this is getting quite serious—" He reached the ground unscathed, which was hard to believe because the room was in the tenth floor…but seeing as this is pure fiction, the previous argument became invalid.
However—the duo found themselves surrounded by everyone. Every Fairy Tail member involved in the "guild activity"; even those who were too insignificant to remember, plus the envoys from Lamia Scale and the Trimens of Blue Pegasus, had formed a literal ring with them at its center. More nameless and insignificant mages were pouring in, effectively shutting off any and all escape routes.
"No use running…Everyone already heard…your scandal—" Erza shouted from above.
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Natsu swallowed hard. Somehow, the situation had become a gigantic catastrophe—even bigger than Lucy's bre—no…this and that are two unfair to even compare. Well anyway—
Their strength and numbers, however, didn't deter Mira from finishing what she had started. Still cradled in the Dragonslayer's strong arms, she brazenly proclaimed in a loud and mighty voice—a voice which was heard by everyone.
"Is that so, then I'm telling everyone this—I am Natsu Dragneel's lover!"
Every single male glared at Natsu, and every single female Natsu fan glared at Mira…but she wasn't done flaunting—
"Therefore—this would make me the lead female protagonist of this world!"
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"What?! That's my spot!" Lucy yelled from above, but Mira smugly countered as loud as before.
"Not anymore! The rule says that the lead male protagonist—Natsu Dragneel's love interest will always be the lead female protagonist!"
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Mayhem broke out. Chaos erupted. A large riot occurred, and the bloodthirsty mob broke its ranks due to the extremely confusing event. It was a total pandemonium, and an insanely twisted version of reality itself. The world started shaking, the winds started howling, and in the midst of it all…every single one of them heard the energetic laughter of a man from high above.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
"What the hell is happening?!" Somebody yelled after the shaking stopped. The sky became still, together with the ominous, booming voice…but—
"I never thought it would be this grave…"
Yes…they soon found out that tampering with reality is a very, very grave matter. By changing reality into fantasy, the balance of the world would be at stake…
"We need to stop her! We need to stop this madness!"
"What ever happened to only finding out about their relationship?"
"How did it turn out like this?!"
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Okay, enough with the ominous lines and super cheesy drama. *Counts sixteen lines above* That part was a bit exaggerated, so please…ignore them.
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"…wait, WAIT A SECOND!" In the midst of the ensuing chaos, the loud voice of a mob character questioned, and prompted the confusion and bewilderment of the gathered people to cease.
"I just gotta ask, who the hell said that Natsu was the main protagonist or something?" He reasoned to his comrades, who in turn—
"Was Natsu the main protagonist of this story?"
"I didn't know that…did you?"
Murmurs broke out, and the confusion returned. Now, they had a new issue to delve into…
And then…everyone looked above, as if waiting for a miracle to occur.
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*Sighs* What?
"Was she saying the truth?" Someone from the mob asked, referring to Mirajane's earlier statement.
*shrugs* Guess so…
"What does Main protagonist mean anyway?" Another one inquired after some support from relatively-but-not-quite-so important characters.
*thinks* Hmm, there's a lot to it actually, but to sum it up, I guess it means that they're better than any of you will ever be—
*dodges a shoe thrown by someone* Okay, who the hell did that?
*dodges another shoe*
"Fuck you!" Someone shouted.
Oh no—you did not just say that—
*dodges a size twelve shoe*
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You think a shoe can hurt the immortal, omnipotent West Wind?!
"What makes you so omnipotent?! You just dodged a fucking shoe!"
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*grins maniacally* That was a rhetorical question… You don't answer rhetorical questions, bozos!
"Die!"
"Poser!"
"Fucker!"
*Thinks* Anyway—I'm pissed, and you guys are so dead.
"Ooh, I'm shaking in my custom made, baby-seal leather boots!" Gajeel spat out arrogantly. The naked Gray was laughing rudely behind him.
"What you gonna do, bore us to death?"
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*Cracks knuckles* You've heard of Legendary Magic, right?
Nearly everyone was dumbfounded…except—
"…No." Laxus muttered with disbelief, his mouth twitching.
"D-Did you say Legendary Magic?" Erza asked with wide eyes, wishing the claim was untrue.
"Y-Y-You're joking, right?" Natsu nearly pissed his pants, and the reactions from the three top-tier mages told everybody one thing—this guy (*coughs*) must be crazy powerful.
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*chants in a very creepy and ominous way* Quattor Venti, congrego et exaudio vox mea…Une Ventus, sterno et occido omnis ea!
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The voice carried on, resounding time and time again, like a never-ending echo, and stirring up the very atmosphere with it. This time, the winds really did start howling, and the heavy shadows underneath the clouds brought with it lightning and peals of thunder. In the blink of an eye, the sun disappeared, and the rain came and drenched them all. The heavy storm proved to be fatal, when they found the clouds descending from the heavens in a swirling mass of strong winds.
"T…Tornado!" Jet yelled, horrified.
"No…G-G-Giant ass tornado!" Droy corrected, but equally as horrified as his partner.
"C-C-Crap! I-I'm s-s-shaking! Help!" Gajeel's knees had buckled, and he really…really regretted saying his last statement.
Just one more word, and they'd all be dead. Even now, despite the incomplete storm, people were being sucked into the vortex, clothes were being ripped out and turning people naked, to the ire of many and the sympathy of a certain Ice-mage. As the cyclone descended, and the people started running…Mirajane Strauss was crossing her arms; an unamused expression gracing her face.
Deflo…
Luckily for them, the supposed Lead Female Protagonist saved all of their sorry asses using nothing but a single reminder to the psychotic being.
"Ahem. Can we please move on, Mr. Narrator?"
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*Scratches head* Oh yeah, I got carried away…so moving on—
And just like that, everything died down. The storm was dispersed, the winds stopped raging, the sky brightened up, the sun reappeared and the magic was diffused. But the incurred damage was irreversible—naked mages were still running amok, and everyone was still perturbed over the devastating technique.
*Shrugs* Anyway, Natsu and Mira… you should be running by now. In the next five minutes, every single one of them will be after you.
Snapping away from his stupor and taking the advice, Natsu did just that, and started running with Mira in his arms. The bewildered mob didn't notice them slip by…until—
Five minutes la—wait a second…
…
—Five Minutes Later—
…
*Claps* Okay, now that they're gone, I propose a new rule—the first one to make contact with Natsu's mucous membranes and hers will officially be the female lead.
The daze was lifted, and all of them returned to normal. They looked at each other, scratched their heads and tried to remember what was going on…and the message sunk in.
"What?!" Levi started.
"What do you mean?" Cana continued.
"We're still going on about that?" Lucy continued after Cana.
"FEMALE LEAD?! Do tell—" Evergreen continued after Lucy, and the girls started flailing their arms in order to voice out their inquiries.
*Rolls eyes* Do I have to spell it out? I mean a kiss—
The last declaration was heard by everybody, and when the surrounding females grasped the current situation—
"NATSU! COME BACK HERE!"
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They ran…all of them did…Leaving the gaping males staring wide-eyed at the snickering sky.
"That's so fucking unfair!" Nab yelled after minutes (too tiring to write in a separate section.) The male populace started hurling and chucking things heavenward—insults, offending languages, weak and pathetic magic attacks…and even size-twelve shoes and sandals.
"You called us here for nothing?!" Lyon built up the courage to ask. He and his team had been waiting for their moment…but—
"Give us some action!" Yuka yelled.
"Give me my sock!" Toby yelled in turn, and everyone turned to him with a "Really, your sock? Now of all times?" expression.
"What about us?" Gray finally asked what everyone was worried about.
*Stares* What about "What about" you?
"At least give us something?"
*Thinks* Nah…
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[Insert epic lightning strike coming from the ground and zooming towards the sky sound effect]
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*Dodges a lightning bolt* Hey, easy there!
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"What we're trying to say here is—will there be benefits if we beat up Natsu or something? We've been chasing him for some time now." The crowd looked towards Laxus, who was crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently…He was unexpectedly polite though.
*Nods* Aah, I see…Since you're more polite than usual, I'll consider that. Hmm, what do you want me to do about it?
"At least let us have a go at Lead Male Protagonist or something, you di—" Hibiki shouted with his teammates' support, but—
*Grins wickedly* You're not gonna say dick, are you?
"—lligent, a-a-awesome guy!" Ren and Eve continued after shutting him up, nervousness written on their dastardly handsome faces…but—
"Don't you mean, Dilligent and Awesome MEN!?" Ichiya suddenly popped up from nowhere…
"It's MAN! Not MEN!" Elfman angrily corrected him…but the (ugly) senior from Pegasus' did not want to go down that easily.
"MEN!"
"MAN!"
*Facepalms* Fine…Enough…Just shut up. Anyway—the first one to make Natsu say "uncle"…gets benefits.
"What benefits?"
*Shrugs* How about, character changes?—For the duration of the story of course. I could make Droy look thinner or Ichiya become—
*Looks towards Ichiya* no offense, less ugly. You name it—status, fame, money, women…
*Looks to Gray* I could even give you your clothes back.
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"WHOAAAA!"
"LET'S GET THE BASTARD!"
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And there you have it. Yes, this is where chaos truly starts…
It began with a date…
A misunderstanding brought about a huge scandal…
Now, everyone's after him…
The question is—how will this end?
'Sup?
Okay, first off…One-shot? Hah, scratch that! I will go on and say how contradictory my words have been… Pfff, one-shot… I wonder when I'll be able to write a real one-shot.
Anyway—
Crap…didn't expect this one to take so long and be so long—no honestly, I got carried away and made it longer again…To top it off, I had it ultimately split because of the length. Hahahaha… Yeah, it's that long. This stupid talent of writing things and making them longer than they originally are is starting to bite me…hard.
Actually, I only managed to put this up now cuz I've been sick for a week, and just got well quite recently, plus I've been suffering from the bane of all writers—some sort motivation-deficit disorder, which practically means I haven't been too into writing in the past few days. It is safe to say that I've found my motivation though…at least for now. Oh yeah, sorry for putting your hopes up with that foreword warning. *laughs evilly* You guys didn't expect me to write a lemon, or at least a real one, did you now?
Oh yeah, on a note though, inspiration and bases for the ideas came from three fics—Rebellion and Eavesdropping by I.-.-.I Kuroyagi I.-.-.I and A Slight Change in Time by Neoshadows. Go check 'em out if you haven't yet. Well anyway, I'll be finished with the last part soon. Yes—the last part. The vague scenes will inevitably cleared (*points to Jenny's room scene*) so while I'm at it, go and leave me your thoughts…
…peace…